Ladies and gentlemen I give you Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan.
Starring in; The life of the Buffay-Hannigan clan!
So tell me Phoebe, what have you been up to in the last seventeen years? The last we saw of you, you were recently married and were planning on having children. Did that idea ever come to it's conclusion?
The last seventeen years have been a blast! I was always worried about 'getting old' but I'm having the best time! Mike and I have had children, three of them! We have a seventeen year old son and our little twin girlies, who are sixteen and gorgeous.(of course they would be *flicks hair over shoulder*) A lot has gone on in the past seventeen years which I'm proud of. I still haven't settled on something I really wanna do yet. I've been dibbing and dabbing in all sorts of things since me and Mike married. I spent a further few years as a masseuse, then decided I was totally bored with all that and that my career in that place was just going nowhere, so I finally went on tour! I joined a heavy metal band named Deadlihood and did a small American tour, around the northern states. It was soo much fun but I felt bad for the babies, they were missing me and calling me home, so the mama bird had to spread her wings and get her ass back home to her family!
So you've been up to a lot then? What other career endeavours have you made?
Hell yes I have! I took a home degree in parapsychology, you know, to learn all about the existence of ghosts and spirits. I still feel my mom with me, even now! It seemed like a strange idea but it really helped me have a full understanding of it all. Now I can freak people out even further with my extended knowledge of the paranormal, and I always win any arguement! Woohoo!
Other than that, I toured with the band, I did some more freelance massage therapy, but I decided that I wanted to stay at home with the kids. They were in elementary at that point, and I wanted to just make sure I was there when they got home, to welcome them home, to make them dinner...and you know. All that soccer mom stuff! I also got into contemporary dance...sort of. I kinda didn't really go the way the teacher wanted me to, so that didn't last all too long. So I spent those next few years just being a mom, a normal mom who looked after her kids damn well and made sure they were all okay. But once they got to be about fourteen, I decided they didn't need me lingering over them twenty-four-seven. Plus I was getting bored being in all the time, I wanted to take on the world! So that was then I got the idea from Mon to start my own business. She owns a restaurant, and I thought I should start some sort of business as well.
I got out a bank loan, and opened up my own organic food store in Manhattan. Business was booming! Lots of people want to eat healthy and are looking out for themselves these days, which was great for business! I still get bored from time to time, but when I feel that need to do something really wacky I put it into the store, like as a campaign or something. I even got Sting to sing Smelly Cat for the commercial!
What is your relationship like with your children?
It's really just such a blast. We have so much fun together. I take them to concerts, movies, games, and we spend a lot of time with each other at home. Because of my upbringing I want to give them the best start in life as possible. I want them to know it's okay to be a little, quirky. It's completely fine to go for your goals and reach for the stars, you know? I may not be living the A star lifestyle, but I know I'm the happiest I've ever been. Those kids mean the absolute world to me, and I hope I get to see them grow into the beautiful individuals they are. They will all be successful in life, I just know it. Such great kids, and I'm so lucky to have them.
So,Phoebe. Have you finally settled down and become a normal, archetypal mother?
My kids would be so lucky! No way! I haven't changed one little bit, only now I have other people that rely on me other than myself, and I would put myself through hell for them. I did, considering labour! I know the girls can get quite embarrassed of me sometimes, but I like to think of myself as that cool, wacky mom who knows what's cool and hip...some of the time. I push them to achieve a lot, but I never give them any pressure, because that just makes things harder. I see a lot of things in common with me and my kids, but they all have their awesome personalities! Which makes them all the more special to me. But boring soccer mom Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan? No way!