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i'll keep you safe & cheerful
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What was she thinking? Payton just didn’t do things like this, she never when to clubs, especially not by herself. Payton looked in the mirror at herself. She looked at every detail of her outer being. She wasn’t exactly sure why she was looking at herself either. She definitely wasn’t trying to impress anyone. Sighing the young, slightly depressed, man shrugged and turned to walk off of the bus. Payton didn’t bother with locking it up cause she wasn’t sure where Hunter or any of his other band mates were. <p>

The sky was dark and cloudy and it was obviously about to rain. Earlier that day Payton had seen a small club on their way into town. With her hand in her pockets Payton made her way to the club. There weren’t many people out. This made her think that maybe there was a reason that people didn’t go out on the streets at night in this town. Maybe this was one on those places where the buddy system was highly advised. But it was a little too late for that because now she could see the club. <p>

Payton didn't usually go to clubs, but once in a blue moon she could be found at one. It was usually only on bad days, but today she just felt like it for no reason. The Bullet’s Gone had played earlier today, so she had absolutely nothing to do tonight and for some reason she wanted to go out. She usually only went with his friends, but god only knew where Beckett or anybody else was and she was too tired to find out. Needless to say, she wouldn't be doing much dancing when she got there. She didn't put much effort into what she was wearing, just picked out a shirt and a jacket from her bag and wore a pair of skinny jeans. She hadn't worn the shirt during the whole tour, so tonight was a first of a few things for her. She walked to the nearest club from the bus and easily got in. <p>

She walked through the crowd, which wasn't as big as she thought it, would be and made it to the bar. Someone stepped on her shoes, buts he didn't really care, she'd had them for a while anyhow. She wasn't a big shoe kind of girl; she just had a lot in different colors. She got the bartender's attention and ordered herself a shot of vodka. Payton didn't drink a lot, only because of the many time she'd laugh at the band guys stumbling around the bus. She found out the hard way that it was funnier to laugh at everyone else as they stumbled around. The bartender raised his eyebrow and she flashed her I.D. He shrugged and poured the drink, apparently convinced. He handed Payton the drink and she slid him a five. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the time. 10:30. Damn, it was early. <p>
Payton Turned away from the bar to get a good look at the crowd. Immediately she recognized a few faces some of them being from her and and crew. It looks like a long night of babysitting and she hadn't even planned on it. Oh well. <p>
wearing


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</div><a style="font-size:8px;font-family:calibri;color:0092a3;" href="http://z10.invisionfree.com/CAUTIONTOTHEWIND/index.php?showuser=7659">THANKS NODDING.ACQUAINTANCE ♥</a></center>[/doHTML]

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the room was spinning around jace stein. the small gas station bathroom was dirty, the toilet seemed as if it hadn't been cleaned in months, the sink didn't have running water, and the mirror was cracked, stained, broken, and written on. the pale, yellow light kept flickering on and off and the smell in the bathroom seemed as if a human carcass has been rotting in there for years. jace didn't mind though, he was used to this sort of thing. trying to see straight, jace stumbled into the sink, digging through his pocket he found the bag he was looking for. he pulled it out, along with his wallet. jace poured the rest of his cocaine out onto his atm card, and using his credit card he broke it up into seven thick lines. with a shaky hand, jace pulled a dollar bill from his wallet and rolled it up, like a straw. quickly he inhaled all seven lines, six through the right nostril and the seventh through the left; all under a minute. jace coughed and fell backwards, his mind spinning. the light seemed to fade and the room started to spin rapidly. some would find this experience to be hellacious, to feel like you're dying, but jace, no. this was a daily routine for him, snorting cocaine in some dirty bathroom; somewhere no one would come searching for him. the next part of his routine- the club.
<br>
<br>his addiction was private for many reasons. his best friend briley is anti-drugs, if she found out she'd tear jace a new one in a heart beat. he cared about her so much, he just couldn't break her heart to show her that <i>another</i> person she cares about has a gruesome addiction. no, he just couldn't do that to her. the other reason is his reputation. on tour jace is known as the goofball, the sincere, honest, innocent guy. jace, get into a fight? no. jace, yell at a girl? absolutely not. jace was the angel of the tour, no doubt about it. sure, sometimes he'd get completely annihilated at the bar with briley and stumble into the wrong bus, but he was still a gentleman. he only hooks up with a girl if they jump on top of him and say bluntly "jace, i want to fuck you." because jace is not the type of guy to go out of his way and hook up with some girl, absolutely not. especially due to the fact that his drug problem exists over his depression from losing his ex-girlfriend and baby. when he lost the baby, he lost himself, which resulted in him detaching himself from his girlfriend. that is when he picked up his drug habit, when he sold his soul to the devil, when he shut himself off from the world. this tour was the first time he'd been out since the death of his unborn child. but ever since jace came here, he's just been using heavier and heavier. being out in the world reminded him of how cruel and ugly it can really be.<br><br>

jace nodded out for a while in that bathroom. he checked his phone, it had been thirty minutes. <i>fuck!</i> now it was sketchy, he'd spent too much time in here. jace rose to his feet, instantly feeling the room spin around him, he shook his head. alcohol would help him, it always does. jace grabbed his wallet off the sink after putting his credit and atm card back inside of it, then stumbled out of the bathroom. the rain hit him like ice to the face. it seemed to take him a moment to catch his breath. the sky was dark, the air was cool, and the rain was deadly, freezing. a mixture of the rain and wind made the rain like a cold weapon, whipping at your face. jace bolted to his car. being a merch he had the option of staying on one of the buss's or renting a motel, he chose the motel. this way he could have his own car. fuck walking around everywhere, especially walking around with 8-balls of cocaine at all times. that's just begging to get bagged. jace opened his car door and got in. everything was still spinning, the rain didn't make it any easier for him to see. despite his lack of vision, or sobriety, jace proceeded to the club anyway.<br><br>

nirvana blasting the whole car ride, the window fogged, and his driving out of control, it's a miracle jace made it to the club alive. jace shut his car door and locked it. although his car was a shit box, it got him from point a to point b. the last thing he needed was some jackass to steal it. when he entered the club the first thing he did was approach the bar. it was full tonight, but there was an empty seat next to some brunette chick. jace sat down, because of his experience with his ex, jace doesn't even look at girls let alone talk to them unless they talk to him first, so he didn't even realize who he was sitting next to. the bartender, jeff, walked by and recognize jace immediately. <b>"two shots of whiskey and a tall budweiser."</b> he requested, which he really didn't need to. jace was a regular here and jeff knew his orders like the back of his hand. jeff nodded and walked off, about five minutes later he returned with jace's drinks. <b>"thanks man."</b><br><br>

jace pounded the shots of whiskey and followed it with a massive chug from his beer. his head was whirling with thoughts. his memories of his past seemed to haunt him wherever he went, he just could never escape. the room had finally stopped spinning, but the pounding music and strobe lights were making jace's heart go insane. jace sipped his beer and for some unknown reason, glanced at the girl next to him. he nearly fell out of his chair, it was like seeing a ghost. no. <i>the drugs have really gotten to you now jace, there's no way.. no possible way that it's payton.</i> his mind was spinning, he felt weak. the most he could do in that moment was force a smile, and be the jace everyone thought he was, the happy jace that never had an ex girlfriend, that never lost his unborn child. the jace that was carefree and had not a worry in the world. <b>"hey payton! i haven't seen you in forever. you look good."</b> that was easy enough, now he just had to get by the rest of the night without breaking down.
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<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">complete</div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">tagged</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">payton</div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">outfit</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;"><a href=http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=48272117>click</a></div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">words</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">1134</div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">notes</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">hope it's okay :3</div><p>
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Payton was easily lost in her own thoughts. Just because she was at a noisy bar didn’t stop her from thinking hard about anything and everything. The girl always had a million things to think about most of them revolved around her work. she couldn’t help but emerge herself in every little detail about the tour, it was a curse really. She was pull out of her thoughts by someone saying her name. The small brown haired girl turned in the direction of the voice and immediately he eyes went wide. She couldn’t believe that right in front of her was the one that got away…sort of. Jace Stein used to be her everything until she went and fucked everything up. <p>
“J-Jace” she breathed in astonishment. It wasn’t even possible that the man in front of her was the same guy she’d left all those years ago. He looked the same but she knew he wasn’t, how could be after everything she put him through. Payton blamed he self for all the bad things that happened to them while they were dating; getting pregnant, losing the baby, and leaving him were all things that she blame on herself. Maybe if she were a little more careful, maybe if she took better care, maybe if she’d gone back to face him. “How did you- where did you- what are you…” there were so many question at they all started to come out at once and it seemed like she had lost the ability to form a complete sentence. Payton was freaking out and she couldn’t understand why he wasn’t. After everything that she put him through, he was acting like nothing had ever happened. The only thing that the girl could think to do was take a deep breath “Hi Jace.” she said timidly and with a lot less enthusiasm. <p>
That wasn’t the way she ever though the conversation with the father of her child that never was would start. She never thought this day would ever come and honestly she wasn’t sure if she ever wanted it to come. Of course she thought about Jace all the time since she’d left their hometown. Sometime she thought about what he might be doing and what his life was like now that she was out of it but she’d never have imagined him in Las Vegas. If anything she imagined him still being back home will all their old friends and in her mind he was the same guy that she fell in love with at seventeen. But he wasn't the same guy, she could see it in his eyes and it was enough to make her stomach turn. <p>
Payton was not ready for whatever conversation they were no doubt about to have. She was sure that she couldn’t face and have to explain whatever it was that he wanted to know. There has to be a way out of this bar. That though went out the window when she saw one of her crew members run across the room shouting. Her need to take care of everyone else was a lot more important to her then her own comfort.

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wearing


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</div><a style="font-size:8px;font-family:calibri;color:0092a3;" href="http://z10.invisionfree.com/CAUTIONTOTHEWIND/index.php?showuser=7659">THANKS NODDING.ACQUAINTANCE ♥</a></center>[/doHTML]

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<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:8px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:3px; line-height:190%;">save you while there's still something left to save</div>

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Her voice, the second she said his name, even with a stutter, brought back old memories. Things he had forgotten, thing's he'd shut out. They all came flooding back. It took all he had to not scream out at her for leaving him, for turning him into the monster he was today. Drugs had become his only source of salvation and without them he would feel alone. Dark, depressed. Back to how he was before the came on this tour. A couple good friends manage to drag Jace out of his bus and come out with them, but other than that Jace is a loner. Wandering the local bars and clubs, looking for his next fix. He never seemed to get enough; that is what worried people. He could indulge in the most cocaine he has ever done, yet still feel as if that didn't completely give him the fix he wanted. Those who knew about Jace's addiction wondered how long it would be until he over-dosed, or lost his mind completely. All the demons haunting Jace seemed to pester him more and more, picking at his thoughts and memories just to slowly drain the life out of him. Jace was slowly going insane; yet sitting here with Payton took him back to a feeling he once had. A feeling of peace and serenity; love. Yet at the same time the tension and malice in the air was unbearable. It was as if he never wanted to leave her side, but couldn't get out of the club fast enough.<br>
Jace took a deep chug from his beer before setting it down and looking Payton in the eyes for the first time in years. She was as beautiful as he remembered her. His heart was killing him, he just wanted to take her in his arms again and pretend the last few years never happened, but they did and there isn't a damn thing he could do about it. Jace couldn't help but chuckle at her questions, then he answered her softly. "I'm here as a Merch for Fallen Crusades. I've been here since the beginning of the tour, I'm surprised we haven't run into each other before then." There, two sentences out Jace. Good job, maybe you can make it through the night without breaking down and begging for her back, asking her all the questions you've been yearning to ask. Why did you leave? Why couldn't have you called? I know I disappeared.. but when I eventually went looking you weren't there. Yeah right, like he could just come out and abruptly ask these questions. He hadn't seen this girl in years, the girl that was once the love of his life. It was in that moment Jace realized what he needed to do. He wouldn't bombard her with questions tonight, no, he'd simply become her friend again; rekindle the flame that was once there. Then after hanging out with her more, he could finally bring up the past.. the questions.. the baby. <br>
He couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking of him. Looking at her he saw the seventeen year old girl he once knew, just a bit more matured. She seemed to dress the same, and the fire in her eyes was still there. But from her perspective.. he must look like a crackhead. Well not quite, but compared to the football star he was back in high school, absolutely. He was the same guy, the same humor, the same kindness. But the addiction was different. Instead of the recreational drinking and smoking, and experimenting with drugs he once did, it was now a full blown addiction. It was as if Jace was split into two people. Everyone saw the boy he was in high school, the prankster that he had been. But the part of him that he masked was the monster that he had become; was Payton looking into his eyes and seeing that right now? Jace couldn't help but wonder. He continued their conversation, taking his mind off his worries for a moment. "How have you been? What are you doing here?"

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<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">status</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">complete</div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">tagged</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">payton</div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">outfit</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;"><a href=http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=48272117>click</a></div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">words</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">698</div><p>

<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-style:italic; font-size:20px; color:#7E2217; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:lowercase;">notes</div>
<div style="text-align:center; font-family:georgia; font-size:10px; color:adacac; text-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #000000; text-transform:uppercase;">sorry it sucks D:</div><p>
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God had a sick sense of humor. Payton thought getting through one night with Jace was going to be hard but now she finds out they’ll be touring together. Suddenly she felt a hole in the pit of her stomach. She knew that this would mean that the questions would be inevitable, whether it was tonight, next week, or next month. A part of her really wanted to cry like she would have back then but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, that’s not the person she was anymore. Now she was Payton Jones: hard ass tour manager. She was not the same seventeen year old that was full of optimism. That ship had sailed and the last couple of years had just left her a shell just trying to get through the day. <p>
Just seeing him and hearing his voice brought back so many fond memories and feelings there was so many things that were lost between the two of them and there were so many unknowns but one thing she did know is that she never really stopped loving Jace. How could she when just seven years ago he meant everything to her? The time apart felt like a life time but sitting there next to him at the bar was almost like have it all back. As much as she wanted to jump into his arms, and kiss him, and hold him, and tell him everything was going to be okay she still had her reservations. She couldn’t put herself through any sort of rejection that might come from this. <p>
“I’m umm I’m okay” she threw in a small half smile to make the statement at least a little convincing. Payton looked to a corner of the room past Jace and pointed quickly. “I’m babysitting them.” The unenthusiastic tone of voice was accompanied by an eye roll. Half of her band members were in the corner of the room with a drink on one hand and some girl’s ass in the other. Looking after a bunch of drunken men was hard sometimes. “I’m the manager for The Bullet’s Gone.” She’d been touring with the guys for two years and for the most part it had been the same thing every night. She hated to get in their business but, to an extent, she considered part of her job. Payton was there to be whatever they band needed whether that be a friend, a critic, a baby sitter, or anything in between. As much as this job stressed her out, she wouldn’t have traded it for anything.<p>
She was feeling this strong internal conflict about this meeting with Jace. In her heart she knew that she would have given everything to be with him again but her head was holding her back… like it always did. Her ideas of what Jace had done after her were shattered by knowing that he was on the road all the time like she was. Somehow knowing that he wasn’t living behind a while picket fence with a wife and kids was slightly comforting. Payton hated having those kinds of thought about Jace because she knew that he deserved all those nice things she couldn’t say the same for herself. “What about you? How have you been?” she bit down on her lip in anticipation. <p>


<p>
wearing


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