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 The Legend Of Lord Revan The Wise, And His Totally Sweet Awesomeness
Lady Darkside
Posted: Feb 21 2006, 02:10 AM


Gizka


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Member No.: 19
Joined: 19-September 05



I'm not sure what's more frightening, what you wrote or the fact that I halfway followed it...

It was cool, in a strange and... uh... no, just strange.
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Baley
Posted: Feb 21 2006, 02:15 AM


God #1


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Posts: 338
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Joined: 24-August 05



Yeah, wait what exactly did you read?

Anyway more satire:

QUOTE
It was a dark and desolate night in Raven's Keep, I was merely an ageing boy at the time, too young to understand the subtle mechanics of the criminal underworld. The rain, it kept falling, my head, it kept shifting on the repetitive beat of some old pop tune. I was yelling, the pain, suffocating, I...I could barely whisper a word, shouting was assuredly out of the question. I was alone, the tedious vampires of sterile basements and crypts shrieking my name. I hated their fucking guts, I prayed that night, to whichever god could hear my desperate wails. No one answered, same old dilemma, I started puking, on the stairs, my vomit was moist and luscious, I indulged myself in human excrements, my own at first, the time had come, unite under me good folks, I will raise the flag at dawn.

I slept, eons passed, little did I know that mortal feces posses immortality-like side effects. Take that Jesus.

I hungered for the sweet taste of female blood, my clothes were old and dusty, I needed pimping, serious pimping. I knew a guy named Morlok, he owned an armoury in Los Angeles, I readied my forsaken swords and pistols, liking their dazzling curvaceous curbs, oh sweet delight, oh mortal pleasure, debaucherous and meek. 

The air was stale. I was afraid, afraid of the light, the sun, the moon, the darkness, my technique was ancient, I needed a...job. In a state of perpetual sobbing, I found myself, the first count Ballkula to ever require such a bourgeois career. Oh how my mother weeped in her appalling flat. Sweet misery you taunt me so. 

Everything was dead to me, my world forgotten, I decided to be a hero, money and broads go a long way. My balls were made of the finest adamantium\steel alloy, it was up to old Ballzie to discover a way to make them...long. Really really long. The demon Balthazar came to me, one sombre winter night, a trade he offered, sexual delight for a spell of ancient gold. I accepted, rupturing his tighten anus. I was now at the peek of mortal perfection, mind and body fusing together in a darkened shroud of despondency and self-indulgence. Infinity awaited, beyond the skies of the most cerulean of blues was my destiny. Away and beyond!


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WinterSun
Posted: Feb 21 2006, 06:35 PM


Ronto


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Joined: 9-September 05



You're a strange dude, Baley...


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Lady Darkside
Posted: Feb 23 2006, 12:41 AM


Gizka


Group: Members
Posts: 41
Member No.: 19
Joined: 19-September 05



Ooooookay...
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