sometimes goodbye is a second chance, ririririrililyri... tag.

[Ian Hunter]

[dohtml]He should have broke the kiss faster, he should have stopped himself before he allowed the worse of him to take control, instead he found himself leaning into her hoping he didn't crush her small frame beneath his. He didn't long how long the kiss has lasted as his senses focused on the way she felt in his arms. She broke the kiss and he grew distinctly aware that somehow during the moment his hands had slipped under her shirt and his fingertips were pressed lightly into her naked skin. He looked down at her, catching his own breath as he tried to piece together her words. The blood had rushed south, leaving him a little hazy. <p> <i>I don’t think you’ve ever kissed me like that before. </i> <p> Her words hit the core and a dawning realization had hit him hard. He allowed his feelings to bring out the best with him and for that brief moment he was showing them to her and the world. He drew back away from her, offering her a small but weak smile. Feeling her lips press against his neck sent another shudder through his body. Pulling his hands out from under his shirt he dropped them to her arms to pull her back. Needing to put some space between them before things got out of control <p> “<b>Stay here tonight. You will be safer,</b>” he spoke looking down at her “<b>you can have the bed. I will take the couch,</b>” okay maybe talking about his bed wasn't such a great idea but he needed the rest as it tiredness started to creep up on him fast. “<b>We can talk about this in the morning,</b>” maybe by then she would change her mind. He hoped she would change her mind. The last thing he wanted was for the dark mark to taint her skin. But the words never really reached his lips. Instead, he stood there staring at her like an idiot. <p> “<b>I have a t-shirt you can wear,</b>” he dropped his hands away from her arms to his side before taking a step back from her as if he didn't fully trust himself or her to remain that close for another breathing second.[/dohtml]

[Cembre Brennan]

[dohtml]She was sad when he pulled his hands from her skin but the burning didn’t subside, she felt like fire was racing through her body and was sure her cheeks were bright red from the kiss. It didn’t really dawn on her what was happening until he was pushing her away and her smile fell. She looked lost for a moment, not really hearing his words, just seeing him holding her away at arms length. It took several seconds for her to response before she looked up at him. She opened her mouth to reply but then closed it again, not caring how comical it might have made her look.
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Cem reveled at how quickly he dropped it, how she stood there with lips red and swollen from a kiss that had left her breathless. How her shirt was still inched up from his hands and her back was still pressed against a wall. And he stood there telling her he would loan her a t-shirt so they could talk in the morning. Pushing off the wall she took a step towards him but the lost look had faded from her eyes and she let the anger run through her, riding on the high from the kiss.
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<B>”You’re a liar and a coward.”</b> She said angrily, raising a hand to slap him across the cheek without thinking. <B>”I lied to be with you. Because I loved you. And you lie so you don’t have to risk your precious morals to be with me.”</b> She wanted to pound her fists into his chest and stomp her feet but she settled for yelling, her voice filling the small kitchen. <B>”I gave up my family and my beliefs to be with you but you’re too scared to even pretend you have feelings for me. Tell me Ian. Tell me what’s so wrong about loving me?”</b>
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[Ian Hunter]

[dohtml]He didn't know what he had expected when he drew away from her and changed the subject but her reaction probably came as close to normal as he could imagine. He took the slap, allowing her anger to explode. This whole fighting was starting to feel normal and he didn't like the idea of that. Fighting wasn't normal. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was a liar and a coward. There was nothing stopping him from sealing the deal between them until she showed up in the middle of the night into his house telling him she was about to get marked. Really, that was the last thing he wanted to hear. Somehow it left a bitter taste in his mouth that even the kiss couldn't solve. <p> She was still yelling, and probably waking the neighbors by now. They didn't need that kind of attention. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to realize he had a woman in here. Especially if it was somebody from the order. If they came to find her here, he was sure he would not see her again. He wanted to step forward and cover her lips with his in order to keep her from yelling, but he was in a deep hole as it was already. Still, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Even the blonde hair was something he was getting use to, a little anyway. <p> “<b>How do you expect me to answer that when you show up in my house telling me that you are ready to take the dark mark. It's everything I am fight against and you are about to get tainted. You don't think for a split second that it will eat at your soul until you know nothing but darkness?</B>” did she really think that it would allow her to stay good? “<b>The battle of bad and good doesn't start with the good turning sides. But it ends with good becoming trapped in the blackness until there is nothing I can do about it but watch you fall.</b>” He glared at her, feeling his own anger flare to match hers. <p> There wasn't anything wrong with loving her. He knew the choking feeling that he felt smothering him on the inside had nothing to do with his anger and everything that had to do with her. So why couldn't he admit it? “<b>Our blood and our decisions separate us making it impossible...</B>”[/dohtml]

[Cembre Brennan]

[dohtml]The instant she hit him she regretted it but it was too late to turn back. It was too late to turn back from all of this. <B>”Tainted?”</b> She asked, her face showing surprise at his use of the word when she had corrected it earlier. <B>”I’m doing something to help. What would you suggest? Turning me over to your friends? That would be lovely. Or I can just keep running and be alone. You never once offered me a solution where I wasn’t going to be alone."</b> She knew he was angry but so was she and there was no backing down but she proceeded with a lowered voice. <B>”I’m trying to keep you safe. And you treat me like a stupid girl.”</b> She reeled away from him, walking back to the window and then turning around to face him again.
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<B>”I’m trying to make a difference and right the wrongs my family has commited. And if the order loses then I’m the only one on that side who can fight to save you-“</b> Her voice cut off abruptly as his last words sunk in and she took a step back as though he had shoved her. <B>”Excuse me…”</b> She said, disbelief written over her features. There was no anger any longer, just a shocked numbness. She stood quietly for a second, her eyes dropping to the ground.
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<B>”I’ve been willing to give up everything for you. This is the third time you’ve chosen something else over me.”</b> She looked up at him, a resigned look on her face with neither anger or sadness making its way through. <B>”If my blood is that important to you… then how are you any better than them?”</b> She asked, straightening her posture she self consciously pushed her hair away from her face, looking everywhere but him.
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Walking past him she crossed the kitchen to the door she had come through. Pausing she looked back, one hand resting on the doorframe. <B>”You know… if you’d ever just once asked me to run with you. I would have.”</b> She looked away again, her eyes closing for several long seconds. <B>”I’ll show myself out.”</b>
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[Ian Hunter]

[dohtml]He had offered her a solution, but she didn't like it. The order was willing to look after her, and looking after her they would as long as they didn't see another motive. If they knew that Ian had anything to do with her, on the other hand, they might assumed things. Things like a question of loyalty. That wouldn't just make him look bad, it would also have them questioning where the girl really stood. Today, it was hard to trust anyone, no matter how innocent they have looked. “<b>I offered you a choice you didn't want to take. The order isn't going to hurt you,</b>” as long as they didn't know about their attachment he didn't see how this could go wrong. Of course he couldn't tell her that she was also somewhat valuable to them. But that was only because they wanted the rest of her family put away. He wasn't sure there was really a way of saving her sisters.
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He groaned under his breath as he raised his hands and rubbed his face lazily. He didn't need saving. She shouldn't be saving him. He should be saving here. She was making it hard to save her. He couldn't exactly plunge into the death eaters to come after her, no that would get the both of them killed. He didn't have a plan, he didn't know what to do. She kind of just sprung things up at him in the middle of the night when he wasn't thinking clearly. At least the blood flow had returned to normal and he didn't look angry and happy to see her at the same time.
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“<b>You think I don't?</b>” he didn't have much to give up really. He had no other family other than Kaden Williams, and even then they were just really good best friends and partners. His jaw clenched tightly. She was right about one thing. If he was worried about their blood differences than he might as well submit himself to them with open arms. He opened his mouth to speak but she was already moving. He hated that she was right and that he stood there looking like an asshole.
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Run she wanted to run. He would love to run, but that wasn't a life he wanted for her. He moved to stop her until he was standing behind her and pulling her back against his chest. “<b>Dont,</b>” he spoke in a soft voice against her ear. “<b>I don't want to run. No matter were we go they will find you. I don't want you to live your life like that, but I wouldn't want you to live the life like that more alone. If you want to run...</B>” he paused looking down at her “<b>we...could run</B>”[/dohtml]

[Cembre Brennan]

[dohtml]<B>”A choice?”</b> She mimicked with a bitter twist to her words. <B>”You offered to hand me over to the enemy. How valiant of you.”</b> Her bitter words accompanied by a twisted look of pain on her face. How was that any help? She knew that either way she was betraying her family but Ian’s only option was for her to talk to the enemies and let them question her endlessly and then likely through her in prison with the rest of her family. It was no life she wanted and he offered it like she should be thankful.
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She hadn’t anticipated him trying to stop her, he never had before after all. Being pulled back to his chest she closed her eyes, both thankful he hadn’t just watched her leave and angry at his words from before. She turned her head to the side but didn’t look at him, keeping her focus on the wall. His words tore at her resolved to leave, his voice leaving her feeling weak as she leaned back against his chest.
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Closing her eyes she let the emotions running through her war in her mind, arguing with herself over the choice to take. Even if he offered it now, he hadn’t offered it before. Dragging in a breath she closed her eyes. <B>”Why?”</b> She asked finally, pulling away from him and turning to face him. <B>”Tell me why.”</b>
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She crossed her arms over her chest as she waited for him to answer, her expression guarded and her body tense, as though ready to flee from the room at a moments notice. Part of her felt like this was all too late. Like it was just a last ditch effort from him to keep her from going to the death eaters. He said himself he didn’t want to run.
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[Ian Hunter]

[dohtml]In his mind none of those things really crossed his mind. As far as he knew and was aware of Cem was valuable to the order. They had even promised her freedom, in exchange for some information. Thought a part of him had feared that they would ask her to do the very same thing she willingly offered to him – spy on the death eaters and come back with some information to help. He knew most of the interest was because of the new rising leader and her past relationship to him. That in itself still made him angry. He didn’t want to think about it.
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He let go of her slowly when he was sure that she wasn’t going to bolt through the door the moment he released her from his hands. He stood until he was between her and the door and made sure that it was locked shot. Her question had him hesitating. Somehow he felt that it was a trap. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of this one unscratched. Not after he just told her that he didn’t want to run away. “<b>I don’t want you to go alone,</b>” alone she was more vulnerable if the attackers that were chasing her before found her again. “<b>I don’t want you out of my life,</b>” but he could at least keep her at a length that he was comfortable for now.
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“<b>I can at least protect you,</b>” he didn’t like the thought that she believed that she had the need in protecting him. She shouldn’t be, he should be able to take care of himself. “<b>Your always talking about saving people. Maybe I want to be a hero too,</b>” he offered her a lazy smile. He didn’t care if other people saw them as his hero; he wanted to do it for her. “<b>It’s snowing out there,</b>” he allowed his gaze to trace back towards the window. “<b>It’s not a good night to go looking for trouble.</b>”
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[Cembre Brennan]

[dohtml]As he went to the door to check the lock she tilted her head, an amused but quizzical smile on her lips. <B>”Am I a prisoner now? I could just apperate out you know,”</b> If he hadn’t spelled his house to prevent such things. He was a paranoid Order member, it wasn’t out of the question. When he said he didn’t want her to go alone she fought back the urge to correct him and tell him how she could take care of herself. She had done so for the past few months without too much trouble. Although that was without Rianne looking for her. Once her sister decided to find her then it was unlikely that she would do so well.
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<i>I dno’t want you out of my life</i>
It was no declaration of love but she hadn’t been expecting that from him anyways. <B>”But you don’t really know if you want me in it.”</b> She supplemented in from him, her smile fading to a dim shell of what it had been. Tearing her eyes away from him she surveyed the room.
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<B>”Turning me over to your Order doesn’t make you a hero.”</b> She said quietly, restless steps carrying her around the living room until she was standing on the opposite side from him. <B>”But I’ll go. You can hand me over and collect your gratitude.”</b> She would just make them the same offer she had made him. They wouldn’t say no though. And this way he got to think he had won.
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<B>”Just remember. When they betray me and leave me for the death eaters to finish off… I told you they weren’t trustworthy so it’s on you.”</b> she didn’t really want him to feel responsible but she was angry and hurt and wanted to sting him back even if it wasn’t close to how she felt.
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[Ian Hunter]

[dohtml]It was his turn to offer her an arrogant smirk at her words. “<b>You could try but you forget,</b>” he tapped the side of his head. “<b>I have a few charms on my home that keeps things from appearing in or out of it spontaneously,</b>” yeah he took all the precautions. Considering he was from the order and probably marked by the death eaters, he couldn’t allow stupid mistakes like that pass him by. It was bad enough that he found most nights – when he wasn’t walking dead – sleeping with one eye open.
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Her words caught him unexpected, and he found himself clenching his jaw tightly enough that it hurt. This wasn’t fair. She couldn’t just show up out of nowhere and expect him to welcome her back with open arms. Sure he was being a drama queen at this point, most likely. It has been a year, a long enough time for him to suck it up and get over it. He had barely seen her, with the exception that he never stopped stalking her so to speak. “<b>Why would you want to be with an old man anyway?</B>” he arched an eyebrow at her. Fair enough question, he was after all over ten years her age. It’s a downhill battle from there.
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His lips twisted into a deeper frown as she spoke about the order. He himself couldn’t picture them hurting her, but the look she had offered on them had made him hesitate. He didn’t want to collect anything from them from ‘handing her over’. She wasn’t an object that he acquired. His eyes narrowed as he watched her walk around the living room in what little light they had. Bringing his hands to his face he rubbed over his eyes lazily. “<b>You don’t have to go to them,</b>” he spoke feeling a little defeated. “<b>I trust them. But I don’t know if I trust them with you yet,</b>” they never had a death eater of this status come up and willingly surrender to them. As much as they spoke about helping Cembre, he wasn’t sure that is what they would do when she finally showed up.
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[Cembre Brennan]

[dohtml]The news that she wouldn’t be able to make a speedy escape did not surprise her and she raised her shoulder in a careless shrug. If she wanted to leave she doubted he would really try that hard to stop her. <B>”I’m a prisoner then?”</b> Her smirk converyed that the question was not serious, she would leave if she wanted to leave. But racing out into the snow after fighting her way free didn’t sound appealing. Better he think her a willing guest anyways. Slipping her jacket from her shoulders she walked towards him, his question causing her to frown and drop her eyes.
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Stopping just short of him she hung the jacket up on the coat tree, turned on her heel and walked back into the living room. <B>”Should I be chasing boys my own age? Like Ryder. Or Anthony. Probably easiest just to go with the one my parents already picked for me right?”</b> She sat down on his sofa, leaning forward to untie her boots. <B>”The better question is why would an old man turn away an eighteen year old girl?”</b> She didn’t think he was old but she didn’t think many people his age would have a such problem with her age regardless. Pulling first one and then the other shoe off she looked back up at him. <B>”Stop trying to give yourself more excuses to not be with me. I’ve been shot down by you enough times in the last year. I’m not going to keep putting myself out there.”</b> Her answer was honest for the first time and she held his gaze only several seconds before dropping her eyes again.
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<B>”You already offered to take me to them. Wasn’t that my option?”</b> To go to the enemy and hope they treated her right. <B>”I’ll do whatever you want in the morning. I’ll go to your precious Order or I’ll go back to running. You can pick.”</b> She stood from the couch then. <B>”I’ll take the couch.”</b> There was already a blanket over the back of it and the thought of sleeping in his bed where she had spent the night with him so many times sounded like torture. Turning her back she unbutton her jeans, followed by the zipper. <B>”Might want to leave before I take my pants off though,”</b> She glanced over her shoulder with a smirk. <B>”Wouldn’t want you to have a heart attack old man.”</b> She was already pulling the denim over her hips and down her legs. Might as well send him running to his room with some torture of his own.
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[Ian Hunter]

[dohtml]<i>I’m a prisoner then?</i>
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He guessed she could call it that. It’s not like she couldn’t leave, it just that he didn’t want her to leave, nor would he let her. He shrugged back at her carelessly offering her a smug smile. “<b>Are you complaining? I thought It was better here than most places,</b>” like a disgusting room at a look bar or inn. He glanced out the window; it was starting to come down heavily. Approaching it he peered out onto the snowy street. It was unlikely that any of the people living by would dare to listen in or be too curious, but he didn’t trust anyone. Pulling down on the curtain he made sure the thick fabric was covering the entire window. “<b>It’s warmer here too. Plus I am not charging,</b>” he turned in time to listen to her lecture.
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Maybe he was making excuses. She was more mature then most females her age. Shit, if it wasn’t for his minor job at the school, he never would have guessed that she was younger. Well, he wasn’t entirely surprised. She did look younger. He forced a smile; at least he hoped it was a smile. Could have been a frown really. “<b>Quiet a choice of men you got there. A little surprised you are looking for someone like me,</b>” he wasn’t a pureblood. He wasn’t a leader of any kind. He didn’t need to be. He liked lurking in the shadows, it had its benefits. After what happened to Kelly, he wasn’t going to repeat his mistakes. “<b>I guess I am a pathetic excuse for an old man to turn away an eighteen year old girl,</b>” he smirked over at her. It was only a matter of time before she realized this was a bad idea. Eventually he wouldn’t age as slowly as her and they would look right. Then she would regret it, because people would stare and judge them.
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“<b>It was,</b>” but not he wasn’t sure if he could do it. Maybe he could talk to someone first and make sure that she would be safe enough. “<b>I’ll reach Kaden in the morning,</b>” he might have heard a thing or two. He made a move towards the couch. He didn’t want her to take it. He felt awkward offering her the couch when he had a bed. “<b>I already told you I was going to sleep on it</b>” he paused as his eyes fell on her fingers working on the buttons of her jeans. He heard her words but he couldn’t find the muscles in his body to work his legs. He found himself staring, sure that he had swallowed his tongue in the process the moment she dropped her pants. Realizing his actions he ripped his gaze away from her. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. This wasn’t fair. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep now. Not after that. He nodded as he started towards his room slowly, a little speechless.
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[Cembre Brennan]

[dohtml]Her face twisted at his observation and she glared at the table as though it had wronged her. She threw her shoe down a little harder than she had meant to and the silence in the room was broken. <B>”I wasn’t looking for someone like you. I’m still not.”</b> she was looking for him. Just him. Her voice was wrought in bitterness and for an instant her angry eyes were locked on him. Her hopes in naming off the other men had been to make him jealous but it hadn’t worked. His next words were met with a shrug as she was already standing. <B>”Pretty sure the one doing the rejecting isn’t the pathetic one.”</b> She mumbled, not really caring if he could hear the words or not.
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She refused to look at him so she didn’t know if he was watching or not. But she put on a show just in case. As she straightened from picking up her pants she tossed them over the arm of the couch, turning around to face him. The smile on her face was smug as she watched him retreat, feelings as though she had made a victory even if it was just a small one.
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<B>”Sweet dreams Ian,”</b> Laughter lurked beneath her words, enjoying that she had made him uncomfortable. It served him right for what he did to her. Kissing her like that in the kitchen and then just shutting down. She couldn’t hurt him with her words but this she could do. It helped a little, having some sort of retaliation for this words that so easily stung her. She had contemplated taking more off but he was already retreating and the pants seemed to have made her point.
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She stood there for a moment, watching him go, while her hands fiddled with the hem of her shirt. Finally she reached for the blanket and spread it out over the couch and laid down on the lumpy sofa. It was going to be a long night… if she stayed through it. Something she didn’t plan on doing.
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[Ian Hunter]

[dohtml]He had found his room to feel comfortable and safe. The moment he shut the door behind him he pressed his back against the cold wood. Taking a deep breath he forced his eyes shut. None of this was fair. He wanted to go back into the living room and sweep her off the couch and drag her back into his room but his pride put a damper on that. He found himself gazing on the floor and his feet until his heart rate was back to normal. Allowing himself to drag his feet towards the bed he fell face first across it with a groan. Unable to understand how such a small woman as her could come with so many complicated problems, bringing them into his life. It took every fiber of his being not to jump back up and forget about everything but instead he found his eyes shutting into a deep sleep.
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He was tired and there would be another morning to think about this and what he wanted to do. He groaned as he rolled onto his back. For someone who could barely keep his eyes open his mind had other plans for him as his brain rushed through the events that occurred recently. He cursed under his breath dragging a pillow over his face and somewhere near dawn he had managed to fall asleep.
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It was the sound of his own scraping across the window that had him raising his head lazily out of bed. The sunlight assaulted his eyes as he stumbled towards the window and unlocked it. Allowing the owl to slip inside and land on his arm he carefully unrolled the piece of paper attached to it. Reading it to himself his eyes narrowed towards the door. It didn’t take long before he found himself in the living room staring at the empty couch. He cursed under his breath. “<b>Cem!</b>” damn it. Did she leave? Or did someone come in the middle of the night and take her? He ran towards the door to try the handle, it was unlocked. Unless she let someone in willingly, she simply got up and left. A sick feeling assaulted him as he slumped against the wall. He would have to find her.
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