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SIRIUS ORION BLACK
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IAN SOMERHALDER. NINETEEN. ORDER. PUREBLOOD </div><br><br>
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<center>
Five Adjectives to Describe Sirius Black</center>
<p>
<b>V. Proud</b><p>
"I am not afraid to admit it whatsoever. I am proud of who I am, who I have become to be. I am proud to stand by my friends. I am proud to be a supporter of those against blood purity. I am proud to stand against my parents and the rest of my noble family. It may hurt to know that I will never be loved by them, but really, they are not worth wishing for their acceptance, and I have acknowledged that and embraced it. I am proud to be a Gryffindor, even though the rest of my family have mostly all ended up in Slytherin. I am proud in that, I am obnoxiously stubborn. I like to do things my way, even if it's the wrong way, or the extremely long, circuitous route. I think I know best always, and I know how absurd that is, but most of the time, I don't care. I think I know the best way to do things and I am not afraid to voice my opinions as loudly and as obviously as I can. This makes me very cocky, because I believe I can do anything I set my mind to do. And others may find it rude and obnoxious but those are two things that I have been called for a very long time, and those two adjectives do not bother me much at all."
<p>
<b>IV. Reckless</b><p>
"I am actor. No, not that kind of an actor, though sometimes, I think I could be. Erm, what I mean is, I act first, think later. I do stupid things all of the time, whether they will get me in trouble or not and I could care less about the consequences. Even now that I'm out of Hogwarts, I would say that I have grown even more reckless than I was before. If there is one thing I have learned from fighting in this war for three years now, it is that life is very short. So I make the most of it. I take risks. I ride a flying motorcycle, I get myself piss-drunk, I fight as hard as I can without any qualms of dying because I know that if and when I do die, it will be because I was doing something worth doing, and that's all that matters to me. People often think that I'm a bad person to be with, and I let them make their own judgement--I'm probably not he best of influences. But living recklessly has always been my thing. I do the thing that is least expected. That has gotten me in a lot of scrapes in the past. And it does make me live with regret at times, for doing such moronic things without thinking them through first. But yeah, I'm reckless and I'm not afraid to own up to that."
<p>
<B>III. Loyal</b><p>
"Well, I was in Gryffindor, wasn't I? I am nothing without my friends. I have forsaken the House of Black and they've got me off their dumb family tree. My family are the people I fight with and for day in and day out. I am loyal to each and every one of them. I will chop off my left arm for any one of them should the want it. I would gladly give my life for most of them. Nothing and no one gets in the way of my friends and me. I do the best I can to protect them and keep them safe, as well as fight alongside them when the time comes. If one of them needs help, they know all they have to do is say the word. If I know them well enough, sometimes, they don't even have to say anything, I'll just jump right in wherever I'm needed, and some places I'm not, depending on the situation. Nothing can tear me apart from my friends. None of the Death Eaters will ever be able to bribe me for information--I would rather die for my friends than give them up for a little compensation. I am not afraid to stick up for them and with them, even when my life is at stake. I care about my friends so much that I will do whatever they ask whenever they ask. I mean, I'm no one's bloody house-elf, but if a friend needs me for something, I'm not about to let them go on being in need while I sit back in my leather chair and do nothing."
<p>
<b>II.Impatient</b><p>
"I absolutely hate waiting for things. Surprises are the absolute worst things, for me. I like to know what's coming ahead of time, you know? So I can wrap my mind around it and do something about it. Surprises make me anxious and nervous, and, if they're the good kind, extremely excited. I hate waiting for people to show up on time. If we've planned to be somewhere at a certain time, and you aren't there, I'm prone to worry that something has gone wrong, in this day and age where about a million-and-one things could go wrong. And being on time is just courteous, you know? But I'm not really one to talk about being courteous. I'm sure I've shown up late to a fair share of things, but the point is, I don't like it when <i>other people</i> are late. You think this would make me a bit more courteous too, eh? Well, it doesn't really work that way in my brain. But yeah, if you're going to tell or show me something, you have to just come right to the point. I need to know the bottom line right away. I hate having to hear a long drawn out story. I'm very hyper-active and I get distracted and bored easily, so if you have something to show me and you don't do it right away, well, good luck to you, mate."
<p>
<b>I. Immature</b><p>
"As many people like to inform me on a regular basis, I am most probably most comparable to a two year old in a seventeen year old's body. Yes, that is very awful of me, but it's true. When I am cranky and don't get my way, I throw serious temper tantrums, and they're not the best of fun. I still play pranks from time to time, just to keep everyone's spirits up. I do things that get on people's nerves. I like doing things just for the reaction I get from others. Of course, when I do those sorts of things around my friends, it is mostly for my own enjoyment, since their reactions are mostly predictable. Christmas is my most favorite time of year and I am like a little kid, singing all the Christmas songs at the top of my lungs and putting decorations all over the place. In fact, I still believe Santa really exists. I really do believe there are elves in the North Pole somewhere. I mean, if magic exists, why can't they? I also am like a kid in that I give a nickname to everyone I know. You cannot possibly know me for more than a month without having some sort of nickanme, and I will use it, like it or not, until it sticks. I believe there is nothing wrong with being a bit childish every now and then, because we all deserve some fun, especially nwo that the days are growing darker and longer and more depressing. Who wants to think about all of that stuff when there is so much fun to be had? That's my logic, for you."
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Four Memories of Sirius Black</center>
<p>
<B>Meeting Life-Changing Friends</b><p>
"One of my happiest memories, the one I'd used to cast the Patronus Charm and the one I think of when I change into Padfoot before sixth year would have to be the day I met James, Remus and Peter on the Hogwarts Express. It was a complete breath of fresh air, let me tell you. I'd been fighting with my parents and my little brother all morning while trying to do last minute packing, They wanted me to sit with all of their friend's sons and represent the Ancient and Noble House Of Black properly. Even then I had enough of that crap to last me a lifetime. As soon as I got on the train, I started looking for a compartment that had anyone besides the people I grew up with. The first one I happened upon just so happened to have three of the most brilliant blokes ever inside it. James Potter I was only vaguely familiar with, but I'd never met the other two before. I could tell we would be awesome friends right off the bat when the other two blokes, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, didn't even know my last name. To not even know my last name? It just felt so good! The pressure was gone, and I could be my true self. It was wicked! I'll never forget seeing them for the first time. It's the best day in my life because meeting them changed my life forever."
<p>
<b>III. Aftermath of the Incident</b><p>
"My absolute worst memory is seeing the hateful look in Remus' eyes directed right toward me towards the end of fifth year. I had done something absolutely awful to him without even realizing it, at first. It was all supposed to be a joke. But it was so wrong of me. I was so incredibly stupid. I told Severus Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow. He pissed me off. He kept following us around and I was getting sick and tired of it. I never thought about the consequences, either; yet again, I rarely ever do. This time it blew up in my face, though. I never thought about Remus' secret getting out, or the fact that Moony could have been expelled for almost eating a student. But the worst part was that look of hatred, absolute loathing and betrayal in his eyes. I thought I had lost him as a friend forever. Weeks afterward, we barely spoke. It was bloody awful. I will always hate myself for making such an awful mistake. I am just so glad that Remus finally forgave me, and that we are still as close as brothers, even though I try to always be completely honest around him and everyone else from now on. I do not want anyone to get any ideas and not trust me anymore. Not having Remus, for as short a time as it was, was like not having a part of myself. I never ever want to go through that again."
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<b>II. Getting Disowned, Leaving for Good</b><p>
"After sixth year, this is what made me happiest, and it's this memory I use now when I need a patronus or something like that. The summer of my sixth year, my parents and I got in a huge row. They wanted me to grow up. I'm happy to report that I still haven't managed to do that. Anyway, they wanted me to get myself in line and act like the true eldest son of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. To become a Death Eater, if need be. They hated the fact that one of my best friends was halfblooded and the other was a werewolf. They hated that I did things at school with the son of a blood traitor. I couldn't stand the nasty things they said about my dearest friends--my brother's. So I said I would not do it. I would not leave them behind and stand for what my parents wanted me to believe in. I said I'd had enough. And they said if I wasn't going to do what they said, as long as I lived under their roof, then I wasn't any son of theirs to begin with. My dad's face was almost purple at that point---I remember, because I laughed right in his face, told him to shove it, ran up to my room, packed my things, and left for Jame's house. Mrs. Potter always took a liking to me, Merlin bless her. She and James' dad let me live with them that summer. But the important thing is, the one thing I need to remember is, the look fo shock and horror on my parent's faces as I told them goodbye. I was finally free of them, and it felt bloody brilliant, mate."
<p>
<b>I. Joining the Order</b><p>
"This is something I will never regret doing. Being the actor that I am, I acted as soon as Dumbledore told me where to sign. I signed right away. I'll never forget the day he brought the four of us in, with a few other students. He told us what the Order was, and all the risks involved. I basically signed my life away, that day. I couldn't have felt more brave, more sure that doing this was exactly what I wanted to do with my life. James and I were already set to being Auror-Trainees after graduation. I was already willing to put my life on the line, but this made it so much more real. What could be better than fighting alongside your best friends? Well, I found out later, it isn't all cheery. I've seen some very good men and women die. And I know that the chances are, I'll die just like them sometime soon. But I am living to protect the people I care about most and I don't think that's a bad way to live life. Seeing the old man's blue eyes twinkle as I signed my name on the parchment, I knew he was proud of me too, and that mattered more to me than a lot of things, not really having a father figure at that point, well, besides James' dad, that is. Seeing my friends sign right below my name made me feel like our bond of friendship strengthened that much more, too. We were going to fight together, and die together, and protect each other, and I can't remember making a better decision in my entire life."
<p>
<center>
Three Unsent Letters Written by Sirius Black</center>
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<b>III. To Dianna, Written During Sixth Year</b><p>
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dear dianna,[/color]<br></div></left>
<div style="text-align:justify;width:300px;">
I know you keep saying you won't have sex with me because you don't want to be 'one of the many', just something I can cross of my list, to say that I've been with every girl in our year, minus most of the Slytherins and Lily, who's obviously always been off limits. I really respect that, I do, even though it seems like I don't because I keep hoping you'll change your mind.
<p>
I keep hoping you'll change your mind because the thing is---you mean more to me than all the other girls I've ever been with. I feel like, if I were going to try to be different, to be with someone for longer than one night, or every other night, or something, I would only try to be like that with you. You're the only one that would make me keep my commitment and keep me in line if I felt like swerving away.
<p>
So, I'm going to ask one more time---can I get into your knickers? Will you let me show you the person I want to be?</div>
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Sirius[/font]</div></div>
made by malone at caution 2.0</center>
<p>
<b>II. To Regulus, written last year</b><center><div style="width: 360px; height: 200px; overflow: auto; background-image: url(http://i55.tinypic.com/vhgnrs.png); -moz-border-radius: 40px 40px 40px 40px; border-radius: 40px 40px 40px 40px;"><br><br>
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dear reggie,<br></div></left>
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Are you happy with your new pals, Regulus? Are mum and dad proud of you? I hate that you picked them, I really do. There isn't anything I can do about the sides we picked. You're my enemy now. I hate that. We have never gotten superbly close, but you are my brother. You know, you can ask me anything. Tell me you really don't want to be with HIm, Regulus. <p>
Please try not to get yourself killed. You were never that great when it came to dueling. Do your best for mum and dad. I don't miss home or them, but I do miss seeing you around. You know where to find me, should you need me.
<p>
If it comes down to it, I've got to protect my mates, even if it means fighting you to do it. I hate this, Reggie. Why the bloody hell did you join up with <i>them</i>? Well, what's done is done. We've picked sides. Here's to hoping we never have to fight each other, eh?</div>
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sirius</div></div></align>
made by malone at caution 2.0</center>
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<b>I. Sent to Prongs, Earlier this Year</b><center><div style="width: 360px; height: 200px; overflow: auto; background-image: url(http://i55.tinypic.com/vhgnrs.png); -moz-border-radius: 40px 40px 40px 40px; border-radius: 40px 40px 40px 40px;"><br><br>
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dear prongs,<br></div></left>
<div style="text-align:justify;width:300px;">
Congrats on finally snogging Lily, mate! It won't be long before you two are doing it in a broom cupboard! I never thought I would see the day this would happen, and no, I am not kissing Snivellus' arse just because I wrote that when you made the goal years ago. Now I can finally go a whole day without you complaining about how she doesn't love you, because it's' now obvious she does, ha!
<P>
Pah, I sound like a sap, don't I? Would it surprise you that I actually think I'm in love? I know, it's ridiculous, I never ever thought it would happen. Thing is, lately, I just can't get her out of my mind, no matter how many pints I've had or how many women I sleep with. Her name is always on the tip of my tongue. But I know that she'll never love me the same way. I've done too many stupid things. She's made it quite clear she never wants in my pants, too. So, I don't think it will work. You know, it's the one thing I'm afraid to do, to talk to her. I'll fight a Death Eater any day, if I didn't have to talk to her about this stuff.
<P>
Someday, I think I'll crack. I'll slip up and tell her, and then she'll hate me for the rest of my life. Merlin knows I probably deserve it from her. Oh well, this is too sappy. I'm not pining, not...not really. Bugger.</div>
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Sirius</div></div>
made by malone at caution 2.0</center>
<p>
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Two Dreams of Sirius Black</center>
<p>
<b>II. To Be A Man Worth Loving</b><p>
"This comes with growing up, I think. It's all good fun to be a kid and to do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you please, all of the time. But the bachelor's life, though extremely fun and free, is wearing on me a bit, I think. I've gotten a bit lonely. There's like, a hole in my heart that no amount of booze or one night stands can fill. And being with my friends definitely puts the band-aid on it for awhile, but, whenever I'm alone, the band-aid rips off and I'm reminded that no girl could ever take me seriously if I came up to them and told them I wanted to make a commitment to any of them. I'm the furthest thing from a commitment you'll ever see. I never loved any girl I've ever slept with. Sex doesn't really have much meaning other than entertainment, for me. But I've always wondered if there was something better out there. I see it sometimes, between James and Lily. I wonder if I'll ever get what they have. I doubt it, but sometimes, that's what I dream about--becoming a man someone can fall in love with."
<p>
<b>I. To Survive the War</b><p>
"It's been going on for ages, whether I realized it before I was sixteen or not. I'm ready for it to end, I really am. I dream of surviving it, of finishing it right besides the people I have been fighting with all of this time. To finally live without having to worry about people getting hurt or killed or tortured. To grow old telling children stories about the days we fought bravely and the things we did to bond together. Of a day when blood purity won't be a damn issue, and we can befriend whomever we please and people won't have to live in fear of anything anymore. That's what I dream about, that's what I hope for, hell, that's what I <i>live</i> for, and that's what I fight for. And that is also why I haven't just given up. I won't stop fighting until this war is over, either for me or for the people I'm fighting against. The next generation deserve a better life, and I'm going to do my best to make sure that happens."
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One Fear of Sirius Black</center>
<p>
<b>I. Losing My Friends to this Awful War</b><p>
"I'm supposed to be the brave and fearless one, the one everyone can turn to for laughter when things are the bleakest they have ever been, but I can tell you right now that when I am alone, I am far from brave, far from wanting to joke about something. I have recurring nightmares of losing so many people: James, Remus, Peter, Lily, Dianna...just to name a few. They all die in terrible ways and I am just seconds late, unable to do anything but stare as the last curse is thrown at them and they are unable to to defend themselves. And then I see their pale bodies, still and lifeless, before I wake up in cold sweat, terrified that these nightmares will soon become reality, often running to my window, writing off a letter to whoever's life I have just seen ended in the nightmare, to make sure that they are safe and sound. Sorry in advance for the late-night owls, everyone, but that's why you've been getting so many---because I am terrified of losing you. And I don't think I could survive this war without you."
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