InvisionFree - Free Forum Hosting
Create your own social network with a free forum.

Learn More · Sign-up Now
Welcome to Writers Bbs. We hope you enjoy your visit.

You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.

Join our community!

If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Name:   Password:


 

 "Colors" (poem), which words in life could be colors?
MadBen
Posted: Dec 21 2011, 06:31 AM





Group: Members
Posts: 709
Member No.: 49
Joined: 1-December 11



Gray awoke and whitened his yellows. He had greens for breakfast and left early to go to gray. He grayed forward as usual, hardly noticing the gray around him, when he suddenly came to a red and was accosted by several crimson who threatened to black him, if he wouldnt white his wallet. He felt yellow, but could not green it.

Red arrived late for gray, whiting in his chair and graying at the whites on his desk. His entire white he had been whiting the gray of others, often green when he noticed how pink they were. He grayed and kept whiting, until the gray greened it to be 6pm and white to gray home.

Blue arrived home and grayed down in front of the purple. His gray had been black and blue. He watched a crimson, but it couldn't white him. His gaze oranged to the black, where he kept a crimson of his own. Maybe tomorrow he would yellow the crimson that had yellowed him. Or maybe he would black them. It didn't really gray either way.
Top
matty
Posted: Jan 4 2012, 02:13 AM





Group: Members
Posts: 1,253
Member No.: 4
Joined: 8-November 11



Creative, Ben.
Top
Josh
Posted: Feb 2 2012, 12:18 AM





Group: Members
Posts: 546
Member No.: 14
Joined: 10-November 11



As a poem, the concept is gimmicky and because of it loses its appeal.

Best, Josh.
Top
Joan McCormick
Posted: Feb 2 2012, 08:20 PM





Group: Members
Posts: 389
Member No.: 38
Joined: 25-November 11



Iím trying to define you target audience, it feels like it is aimed at children but I donít think they would get it unless it was in a giant picture book with distinct coloured objects that will focus the wording.
Top
nancy
Posted: Feb 3 2012, 12:03 AM





Group: Members
Posts: 217
Member No.: 82
Joined: 10-January 12



Hello Ben,
I do believe that this is the first 'fill in the blanks' poem I ever read. I agree that it very creative. At first i was put off by havint to align my mind to the unusual, then with each reading I began relating my own experiences to fill in the mood of the colors. I like it; it feels like it squeezes out uncommon thought, and that's a good thing. rolleyes.gif
Top
« Next Oldest | Poetry Writing Center | Next Newest »
DealsFor.me - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you

Topic Options



Hosted for free by InvisionFree* (Terms of Use: Updated 2/10/2010) | Powered by Invision Power Board v1.3 Final © 2003 IPS, Inc.
Page creation time: 0.1064 seconds | Archive