From a couple of yrs ago, I remember her scratching this out unfinished in a couple of bored hours after a snuggle-up watching the creeper, Lovely Bones, with that awful neighbor; the three of us enamored with a story told by a girl already dead... Thought I'd throw it in on maybe a dull night? And we were missing activity here on the fiction anyway.--Actually, we started a little collaboration of our own recently, maybe we'll throw some of that in here from time to time as well.~Opinions, crits welcome, as always.
Chapter One ~The Beginning
My name is Kaida. It means little dragon. Never in my fifteen years of life would I have guessed I would die this way. That’s right, I’m dead. I was murdered at the age of fifteen. If you’re wondering, no I didn’t write this in heaven! God allowed me one week more of life. We made a deal. It was I had to tell the world how I really died. My name is Kaida, and this is how I died…
It had been a dull, rainy, June afternoon. The tiny drops that still clung onto the treetops high above fell, splashing my already damp face. I’ve always liked these cool, damp, windy days. They seem to soothe me. I love the sound of water. From the faucet, waterfalls, trickling from the rooftops, the waves of the ocean, everything!
I’m on my way to my best friend Fern’s house. We had set a date for homework. Little did I know, I wouldn’t make it to Fern’s house. I would never again see these rainy days I love. I was only three blocks from her house when it happened.
“Excuse me?" the voice rang out. Echoed. I turned face to face with a man in his early twenties. “May I help you sir?” I asked warily. “Would you happen to know where a Hannah Riley lives?” he asked. “No sir, I’m not from around here.” I replied. “Oh, thanks anyway!” he called out as I walked away. At first I didn’t know what it was. Then I knew! It was the thudding of his feet running on the damp pavement. Not just running though. Running at me!!! I began to sprint the last few blocks to Fern’s house. Before I knew it, his arms were around me.
I don’t know why I hadn’t expected a needle, but it surprised me when he injected the poison. It all happened so fast. The needle, the dark, and worst of all, the basement! When I finally open my eyes, all I can see are shadows. There are no windows. I became paralyzed when I realized he could be in here with me and I wouldn’t know it because it was pitch black! After God knows how long, I decide to look for a light switch…
I fumble along the walls feeling only bumps, cracks, and finally a switch. I flick it on and at once find myself blinded! When I regain my sight, I notice everything in the room. Its completely empty except for the one, solitary chair at the far corner of the room. I turn to see the stairs.
I fly up these stairs only to find a locked door! Creeeeeeeeak… the floor above made noises as weight shifted. Thud, thud, thud… He was walking around upstairs. Crack!!!! The door swung open, sending me flying down the stairs. All I can remember after that is hitting my head so hard I passed out, and my ankle was on fire!!!
When I awoke, things were different… I was now tied to that solitary chair. I also couldn’t speak. All I could possibly do was blink! After a moment I noticed that he… was sitting in front of me!!!
Chapter Two ~Food
“Welcome Kaida.” he murmured. How does he know my name?! “That was a nasty fall you took… Even broke your ankle.” he said a little more loudly. I broke my ankle!!!??? I attempted asking him something, but the duct tape muffled it. “What’s that? Oh, sorry let me help…” he whispered. Rip!!! “Eeeeeeek!!!” I screeched. I felt the tears streaming down my face. It was so terribly cold down here that I was afraid they’d freeze to my face! He was laughing!!!
“Where Am I??!!” I hissed at him. The questions that had been filling my every thought came pouring out. One by one. “Why, my home of course.” he replied sweetly. I was in no mood for sweet! “Why am I here?! Why me!!!???” I yell at him. “I’ve seen you on your way to your friends house every other day.” he answers. “How do you know my name?!” I ask quickly. Now on the verge of tears. “I asked your friend…” he says afraid I may blow up in his face.
“I don’t understand.” I say quietly. Soon, I found myself sobbing and screaming. He slapped the duct tape back over my mouth. He was probably afraid that I would attract the neighbors… I watched him reach into his pocket and grab out…. His needle! “Mmmmmf!” my screams were muffled by the cursed duct tape. I found myself asleep again.
I had a dream that I was back at home. Watching my little brother Trey playing with the action figures he had gotten for his birthday. My mom came in to check on us after several minutes and I jumped up to hug her. I must’ve cried in the dream because when I woke up, my cheeks were soaked! I realized that dreams were the only way I could possibly ever see my family again. I was sobbing once again. I stopped abruptly when I finally opened my eyes. I wasn’t in his basement anymore! I was in a chest of some sort!
I started kicking and pounding. I’m claustrophobic, so I began hyperventilating. Soon enough I couldn’t breathe. I passed out almost immediately. I snapped my eyes open when I heard the chest opening. I could hardly see. All I saw was blotches of white everywhere! When my eyes focused, he was hovering over me. He reached out and ripped me up and out of the chest, then set me down in the corner.
My head was spinning. All I could think about was the pain, my family, life, and most of all, Death… So much pain, mentally and physically. Suddenly I remembered the last thing I told my mom. I said that I hated her and I never wanted to see her again! She probably thinks that I ran away!!! Oh no…
“Kaida?” he lightly pulled the tape off my mouth. I didn’t speak. At this moment, all I wanted was to die. I wished with all my might. “Kaida? Kaida?!” he said my name again and again clearly awaiting my answer. “Kaida!!!” he lost it. I rolled over, face to face with the wall. I made it perfectly clear that I was going to ignore him. I heard him storm up the stairs and slam the door.
The floor was freezing. If he didn’t kill me first, the cold surely would. Until now, all I felt was the cold and the pain. Now I felt something else. I am starving!!! Then I realized …. What if he was trying to tell me that he had brought me some food? I flipped over and sure enough, there was breakfast! Now I kinda felt bad. I hadn’t eaten in two days!!! There were eggs! Toast! Bacon!!! Every little bit was gone in only a few moments! He had also left me a puzzle book. He must be feeling sympathy…
Chapter Three ~The Plan
The puzzle book was my only entertainment for several hours. On one of the pages, there was a cartoon of a muscle man. At that moment I decided that I would become strong. Strong enough to either kill him or break down the door. In the rafters, there were large pipes. I can do pull ups on these each day. Also, in either corner there were cinderblocks. I’ll use them as weights!
I did these workouts for three weeks. Whenever he came down, I laid on the floor pretending to be weak. But on the fourth week, I didn’t hear him coming down. I was on about my nineteenth pull up when he ripped me down. Then he was screaming in my face. Before he left, he topped it off by spitting in my face. He took away the cinderblocks, and tied me to the chair again. I broke his trust.
He didn’t feed me for a week! My plan totally backfired! Now I’m weak and starving. Not strong at all. I hated life that week! Every day was the exact same. He didn’t visit me, didn’t feed me, nothing! I was forced to sit and think. I had to come up with a new plan….
Chapter Four ~The Knife
Once he finally came down, he untied me and apologized. He gave me some cereal. When he left I remembered one of the things I thought about when I was tied up. I wondered what was in my pockets. In my jeans, there were twenty dollars, homework, mascara, and… my cell phone! Of course it was dead! In my jacket, there was a bead necklace which I put on, some gum, and lint. I tossed my jacket to the floor. It landed with a Clink!!!
I grabbed up the jacket and re-searched the pockets. Nothing. Then I remembered it… There was a secret pocket on the inside! My mom had stitched up a hole on the inside and it accidentally formed a pocket!!! Sure enough, there was something metal in the pocket! I pulled it out and it was…
My pocket knife!!! My dad had given it to me last paycheck! I was going to be extremely careful with this. If he found it he would take it away! Earlier this month I had been pacing around the room when I stumbled across a loose floorboard. I stood up and went to the spot. The board came right up! I stuffed my belongings into it. This is now my stash.
I have no use for the money but there are uses for everything else. Except the lint of course. I used the mascara to tally the days on the back of the homework. The cell phone does nothing for me now. The gum will come in handy if and when he decides to starve me again… I’m wearing the necklace of course… The pocket knife is now my most prized possession.
I don’t need to be strong to kill him with this. For several hours a day I practiced throwing the knife at a specific stair. I was getting pretty good. I used to be great at darts so this was a piece of cake! I had some fun with this knife. The first time I threw it, it came flying back at me!
Chapter Five ~A New Plan
Today was the fourth of July. He told me he was leaving for a few hours to go to some party… He tied me to the chair, little did he know that I had the pocket knife to untie myself! Hahaha! I decided that I would cut a hole in the door and open the door knob. He wouldn’t see that coming! Shicka shicka shicka! I slice through the ropes.
I rush up the steps to the door. Screech screech screech! This process surely isn’t silent! After moments I hear something just outside the door. Oh my God! What if he hadn’t left yet!!!! I start to head down the steps and stop in my tracks. The door opens to reveal I’m not alone!
Its…. Its Fern!!! “Fern!!! Thank God! You’ve come to save me!!!!”
Not bad at all. Actually I think it's well-written, but simply not my genre, so I can't really write any overly useful review. Looks like it would do well in the horror board though. It certainly has some of the aspects I myself struggle with a lot in writing - such as the conflicting emotions and all that.
Thanks on her behalf, maybe I'll shoo it the way of horror instead.;)