so i let her be,, tag: jackson

let her beoh what the hell she said, i just can't win for losing, and she lays back down, man there's so many times, i don't know what i'm doing, like i don't know now, by the light of the moon, she rubs her eyes, says it's funny how the night, can make you blind, i can just imagine, and i don't know what i'm supposed to do, but if she feels bad then i do too, so i let her be, and she says oh, i can't take no more, her tears like diamonds on the floor, and her diamonds bring me down, 'cause i can't help her now, she's down in it, she tried her best but now she can't win it, hard to see them on the ground, her diamonds falling down ❤Seated within the Crosstown Diner, Octavia released a long sigh. It was early afternoon, and she had slipped out of work for a late lunch. Meeting Jackson for lunch had become somewhat of a routine. Upon settling within the Bronx, it had been mere chance that she had met the man. Their friendship had been straightforward, simplistic, and the woman cherished it – endlessly. He reminded her of her brothers, of the family that she had left behind upon leaving Boston. Except now, she was putting down roots here. The thought caused her eyes to drift briefly down to her stomach before they returned back to the table. It was true, indeed. Only two days prior, she had learned that she and Elek were expecting – unexpectedly. When she had confronted him within the confines of his flower shop, she had believed that they were indeed over. The way that he had acted so… coldly, towards her, towards the idea of their child – it had turned her into the hot blooded Italian that she was. And then that evening, he had arrived at her door and changed everything. She loved him, of course. She loved him, and she loved this baby. Their relationship was a danger to both of them, however, at least until things were sorted out about their own personal affiliations. Though her ties to the Mafia were loose, it did not ease the knot that had formed in the pit of her stomach. No longer was she merely looking out for herself, or Elek – an innocent child was also within the mix and it urged her to proceed with caution. Her two weeks would be submitted at the store and Elek would arrange a meeting with Bogdanov. Things would smooth themselves out, they had to. Now, she was left to inform the others within her life. The baby was still a secret, needed to be for all of their sakes, but the truth nagged at her. It threatened to tear her at the seams, and she rationalized that telling Jackson would be safe. She needed a confidant, one that wasn’t the intense form of Elek, and Jackson had proven time and time again that he was willing to meet such needs for her. Inwardly, she groaned at his anticipated reaction. Only a few weeks prior she had been a broken woman before him after Elek had snatched her happiness away, and though she now knew that his reasoning had revolved around the Brotherhood, no such information could be shared with Jackson. Wouldn’t that have been a lovely conversation – ‘No, he does love me. He just wasn’t allowed to be with me due to his affiliation with the Russian Brotherhood and mine with the Italian Mafia.’ A snort departed her lips at the mere notion. No, somehow scaring off one of the few true friends that she possessed within the city didn’t seem to be a lovely notion.Truth was, Octavia was shaken by the organized crime family drama, her ever changing hormones and the concept of motherhood. No, it utterly terrified her. Becoming a parent was not a simplistic task, and it involved hours of lost sleep, and diaper changes. Would she and Elek be strong enough to do it? Would she be strong enough to withstand all of the pressure that seemed to be closing in on her? When the door opened, she glanced up and offered Jackson a smile. “Hey there,” she said by means of greeting. She surely looked like hell – pale, exhausted. Her stomach rolled as if to remind her that morning sickness had been haunting her at times that were surely not morning. “Have a seat,” she continued motioning to the chair across from her. Brave, she needed to be brave – and pray that he didn’t wish to throttle Elek for hurting her. charlie

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At any given point, Jackson’s amount of female friends usually far exceeded his male friends, especially if his buddies from the firehouse were taken out of the equation. It probably had something to do with his upbringing. His dad was a dead beat and when his mother finally forced his father out, he was left with his mother, two older sisters, and two dogs who were also female. One might not guess from looking at him, but Jackson was a pretty sensitive guy. Once you got over the initial shock of him being 6’5 and made of all muscle, you’d find he’s actually a giant teddy bear that’s always there for friends when they need a hand or a shoulder to cry on. He always enjoyed helping people; it was one of the main factors that motivated him to become a firefighter. Women seemed drawn to him because he was nonjudgmental and easy to talk to. It also put him perpetually in the friend zone, but he never seemed to mind.

So, by some chance he and Octavia met and struck up a friendship. They made it a ritual to meet for lunch at least once a week so they stayed in touch. Both gave valuable advice when the other needed it and it was a simple and wholesome sort of friendship. Jackson always looked forward to seeing her. Being fairly perceptive, he had noticed lately that something seemed to be troubling her. From what Jackson had made out, a lot of her present problems seemed to stem from a man she was seeing, Elek. Jackson did his best to listen and just give advice, but the thought had crossed his mind of finding this guy and just scaring him a bit. Octavia was a good friend and she deserved to be treated like a princess. That was something Jackson’s mother made sure he learned, the good old Southern gentleman traits and to always respect, protect, and honor women.

When he entered the diner, it didn’t take long before hearing Octavia greet him. Turning in the direction of her voice, he greeted her with a grin and a friendly, “Afternoon, dear.” However, his smile faltered upon closer inspection of his friend. When he was situated in the chair across from her he could notice just how drained and exhausted she looked. It was a red flag. However, Jackson was not the type of person to pressure people to talk to him. He would be there for them, help them, give them advice, maybe even beat someone up for them, but he would never force someone to tell him something they didn’t want to. With an expression of concern he asked, “How are you, Octavia?” It was a simple question. How she chose to answer it was up to her and would set the tone for their conversation. Besides his obvious concern, he made no other attempt to get her to open up.

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tag: octavia/lauren. words: 491. outfit: flannel, jeans, work boots notes: short and sorry for the wait

thanks to kitty of atf.

let her beoh what the hell she said, i just can't win for losing, and she lays back down, man there's so many times, i don't know what i'm doing, like i don't know now, by the light of the moon, she rubs her eyes, says it's funny how the night, can make you blind, i can just imagine, and i don't know what i'm supposed to do, but if she feels bad then i do too, so i let her be, and she says oh, i can't take no more, her tears like diamonds on the floor, and her diamonds bring me down, 'cause i can't help her now, she's down in it, she tried her best but now she can't win it, hard to see them on the ground, her diamonds falling down ❤His voice was a comfort, and the affectionate ‘afternoon dear’ put her at ease. Jackson would understand the situation at hand, wouldn’t he? He would surely understand her need for a friend, as the confusing times piled around her forcefully and she truly feared that she would drown. She was pregnant with a child that crossed numerous crime family lines. The child was, of course, fathered by a man who had only weeks ago broken off their affair. Octavia had confided in Jackson, unleashing her hurt and anger and sadness at Elek’s betrayal, a thing that she had been unable to fully understand. As the news that Bogdanov had threatened his life, and her own, if the affair were to continue, however, painted an utterly clear picture. The brunette noted the way that his smile faltered, and she raised her hand to brush a stray lock of hair from her features self-consciously. So she looked less than wonderful, she was more than aware. The constant nausea and retching and fatigue left her exhausted. When the early pregnancy symptoms were combined with everything else going on, she found herself mentally, emotionally and physically drained. It was impossible not to be, of course. His large, lanky frame settled across from her and she took a long sip of her tea, cherishing the comforting warmth. The beverage seemed to be the only thing capable of calming her ever rolling stomach. Anything that gave her a relief, even a brief one, was welcomed. This child was taking its toll on her. In her mind, she anticipated the conclusion of the first trimester so that she could actually enjoy her impending motherhood – something that she had nearly given up on. She noted the concern, and exhaled slowly, giving the hint of a shrug in his direction. “I’m alright,” she said truthfully. “Tired, a little under the weather.” Why did it feel so impossible, to utter the words? To confess that she and Elek had reconciled due to the child within her womb? “How are you?” Turning the tables seemed to be a far safer alternative. There was no choice, of course, than to confess to her friend, one of the few that she had within New York. She hadn’t yet called her mother, or her brothers, to inform them that she was pregnant. Of course, she also hadn’t taken the time to inform them of Elek either. What was she expected to say? Well, I found a man. We’re having sex, but we have no sort of relationship. What was the point of that?“So…” she said slowly, toying with the tea bag within her cup. “Elek and I are back together,” she said cautiously, knowing that Jackson wouldn’t outwardly display his distaste. “He had his reasons, for what he did. It’s… it’s a bit of a complicated situation,” she confessed. Telling him of the Mafia and the Brotherhood would endanger him in a way that she was unwilling to embark on, of course. She awaited his response in silence, dark eyes reading his features for a reaction, any reaction. charlie

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She really didn’t look so good and Jackson was concerned. Somehow, he felt that it had to do with that undeserving ass, Elek. All of her problems seemed to revolve around him and Jackson didn’t quite understand why she stayed around. Actually, that wasn’t true. He knew just how that was. In relationships, he was a sucker. He fell head over heels and committed two hundred percent. His friends and Felicity had tried to warn him about Carolina but he never listened. He was too enamored and too in love to see some of the signs and red flags. Carolina could do no wrong in his eyes so he always brushed off the warnings and defended his fiancée. It wasn’t until he actually caught her cheating that he realized what a fool he had been. Therefore, Jackson did know first hand how delicate a matter this could be and how Octavia might just not realize yet. She was probably smarter than him, but still love or lust or whatever it was had a way of clouding one’s judgments. Regardless, Jackson was being incredibly patient.

He frowned and asked, “Cold? Glad you’re all right though. Hopefully it will pass soon. It’s probably the changing weather. That used to always affect my ma.” She didn’t say anything else and he wasn’t going to push it like he promised himself not to. If she just wanted to forget about it for a while then he would allow it happen. Eventually he figured she’d let him know what was bothering her. Sometimes by not pressing people, Jackson had a way to make them open up. Looking down at the menu, he ordered a coffee to start with since she already had her tea. “Do you know what you want yet? Felicity’s been trying to get me to cut down on the meat. She says it’s better for me.” He contemplated the menu before chuckling slightly. “I don’t even know what these salads are. Promise you won’t tell her if I get a burger?” He asked with a soft smile. It was his meal of choice. He was outside working hard and long hours; he needed some proper nourishment.

“Oh, I’ve been okay.” However there was a slight pause before he continued slowly, eyes still looking at the menu. “Carolina called me the other day…” Jackson knew Octavia knew about Carolina and their past relationship. For four years they dated and for a year they were engaged and living together. However, he had to break it off when he found her cheating. She was the love of his life and he was mostly recovered from the betrayal by now, but hearing her voice and getting that call had not helped matters. He wasn’t even sure why he told Octavia, perhaps because he didn’t know who else to tell. He was still slightly embarrassed that he even answered the call in the first place. He owed Carolina nothing. He gave her everything and it still hadn’t been enough.

His news was nothing compared to the bomb that left her mouth. Instantly he looked up and into her eyes, completely shocked. His body tensed out from the shock and slight anger he felt but it was subtle. Most of all he was confused. What had happened that made her change her mind? Why had she gone back after the way he treated her? After a moment, he relaxed and nodded slowly. “Do you think being together is what’s best for you?” It wasn’t asked with any judgment. His tone was completely neutral. He just wanted to hear what she had to say.

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tag: octavia/lauren. words: 603. outfit: flannel, jeans, work boots notes: =)

thanks to kitty of atf.

let her beoh what the hell she said, i just can't win for losing, and she lays back down, man there's so many times, i don't know what i'm doing, like i don't know now, by the light of the moon, she rubs her eyes, says it's funny how the night, can make you blind, i can just imagine, and i don't know what i'm supposed to do, but if she feels bad then i do too, so i let her be, and she says oh, i can't take no more, her tears like diamonds on the floor, and her diamonds bring me down, 'cause i can't help her now, she's down in it, she tried her best but now she can't win it, hard to see them on the ground, her diamonds falling down ❤A cold? Octavia fought the urge to laugh. Yes indeed, a cold that would last nine months. The brunette silently hoped that the symptoms dissipated far sooner than that. Many women only experienced morning sickness through the first trimester, and she hoped that such a stereotype would fall upon her. There were enough concerns pressing into her mind without the continuous worry that she would have to fight nausea for the duration of her pregnancy. Munching on crackers and sipping ginger ale would only satisfy for a limited period of time. A long sip of tea helped to soothe her unruly stomach, and she released a long sigh as she leaned back in the chair. The mug was warm, and the increased temperature eased her. There were things to discuss when Elek completed his work day. Work and the Brotherhood and their future all loomed about her, threatening to swallow Octavia whole. She clearly couldn’t continue at the grocery store, not when Bogdanov had already threatened Elek to stay away from her due to her loose ties with the Italian Mafia. She would need to come up with some alternative form of income, for though she did possess a savings, it wouldn’t be enough to provide for herself and a child in the long term. They would need to discuss what this child meant for them as a couple, though Elek had made it quite clear that he had no intentions of going anywhere. “You could say that,” she said softly, the hint of a smile ghosting over her features.Octavia browsed the menu as Jackson spoke, chuckling softly at the mention of his sister. “She’s right you know. Red meat isn’t good for you,” she chastised, “but you know that it stays between us if you feel like indulging.” The brunette was unsure as to what exactly she craved. Allowing her eyes to brush over the menu once more she finally closed the plastic coated paper and settled it back onto the table. A cup of soup seemed fitting, along with saltine crackers to fuel her munching. If she didn’t force herself to eat she would be losing weight, and losing weight wasn’t good for her, and it surely wasn’t good for the baby. What had happened to all of the talk of pregnancy glow and undying happiness? She felt neither at present, merely something that mirrored the flu, complete with nausea and fatigue. Crawling back into bed after lunch sounded like an entirely promising notion. At the offhand comment, Octavia looked back at Jackson’s face in surprise. She had been told the tale of Carolina, the slutty ex-fiancée who had cheated on Jackson. Masking her gaze of shock, her arms settled upon the table as she gripped the mug in one hand. “Oh really? What’d she want?” It was none of her business, of course, and she did her very best to remain neutral. The man didn’t need to be scolded after all. He knew very well what had occurred the last time that the woman had played a key role within his life, and due to her present situation, she was the last person on the planet who needed to be judgmental. Many wouldn’t have even bothered to answer the call of an old flame, but not Jackson. The man was too kind hearted, too willing to help everyone in his vicinity. He had proven to be the only true friend that she had developed in New York. Would he disapprove of her present scenario? It had, after all, been her own negligence that had landed her in her present predicament. But motherhood… Planned or not, she welcomed the opportunity. Her biological clock had been ticking away within her mind and now it was at least temporarily satisfied. Another sigh departed her lips as she shrugged ever so slightly. His own features mirrored hers – void of emotion, easy going, and whatever he truly felt was buried beyond recognition. “I do,” she murmured softly. “The break-up wasn’t entirely his fault, and we weren’t really together in the first place. I’m the one who got attached to him when I should have known better.” Mainly true. Bogdanov had indeed been behind the dispersal of their arrangement. Not even a relationship, she argued in silence. She had been mourning the conclusion of an ongoing friends with benefits arrangement because her feelings had transformed into more, as had Elek’s. “But we started talking again because I went to see him,” she proceeded cautiously, dark eyes moving to the tea bag that she had resumed toying with, “because I needed to tell him that I’m pregnant.” Yes, pregnant. With a child that had not been planned, that nestled within her womb and grew normally, according to the doctor’s appointment that she had attended a few days prior. She needed Jackson’s support, needed to know that her friend would be there for her in the terrifying moments that were to come. charlie

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Jackson nodded gratefully and began looking through the burgers and sandwiches. Already he felt guilty for thinking of ordering a juicy burger and so after feeling the weight of his conscience, he opted instead for a chicken sandwich complete with bacon and fries. At least it was better than a burger, right? In his mind it was and he didn’t really feel like he was cheating. “Do you know what you’d like? I can order when you are ready. Take your time though.” He did have a set lunch break, but the dinner was always fast. Besides, when it came down to it, Jackson would rather be five minutes late back to work than rush his friend into making a decision, even one as trivial as what to order at a restaurant. It would be bad manners and would be going against how he was raised.

When he mentioned Carolina, his eyes stayed fixated on his straw wrapper as he slowly began to peel it off so he could get to his straw. “She, uh, wanted to see how I was doing, I guess.” That was the truth. He wasn’t really sure why. Whenever he asked, she just kept insisting that she wanted to see how he was doing since they hadn’t talked in so long. “At times she made it seem like nothing happened, like we just spoke the other day instead of six months ago. She even started talking about coming over to give Kira treats…” He laughed, but it was hollow and caused more by his confusion and uneasiness. “I told her I didn’t think she should come over…But, um, did agree to meet her for lunch.” His eyes slowly glanced back upwards so he could see Octavia’s reaction. It probably was a bad idea, but just like he couldn’t ignore the phone, he couldn’t refuse. “She promised just as friends though. It’s not a date,” he added, attempting to justify his acceptance. In all reality, Carolina had just manipulated him yet again. Somewhere deep down he knew that.

Jackson slowly loosened his muscles and allowed himself to relax once again; he had to hear what Octavia wanted to say. Perhaps she had a very good reason for getting back with Elek. Jackson couldn’t think of one off the top of his head, but once again he wasn’t in the best position to be judging her. Was not he in a similar position? He nodded shortly, listening to the beginning of her explanation. Whatever the reasoning was, Jackson was not expecting what came next. Octavia was pregnant. Mouth slightly agape, he looked at her for a moment with surprise. Had he heard her correctly? He must have. The shock was replaced with a small, comforting smile. He reached across the table and he placed his large hand over hers on the mug. “Octavia, I. Uh. Congratulations?” Was she happy about it? It didn’t exactly seem like she was too thrilled so he continued, “Do you need anything? Anything at all and I’ll do my best. Have you seen a doctor yet? I’ve heard it’s important to be taking vitamins and supplements while you’re pregnant.” He was getting ahead of himself. He always wanted children and thought he was close to it with Carolina, but that faded. Realizing she might not be ecstatic about this. He rubbed his thumb softly against her hand. “Are you…happy?” At this point, he had forgotten all about Elek. What mattered was how Octavia was viewing this pregnancy and where she planned to go with it.

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tag: octavia/lauren. words: 591. outfit: flannel, jeans, work boots notes: =)

thanks to kitty of atf.