under the upper hand,, her one and only.

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.nine hundred and forty three words for mr. Holden foster. and Elle is wearing this.On my way home, Elle typed into her phone, assuming the silence from Holden's end meant he had gotten caught up with work. She refused to think it would be a big deal, to make the walk home from the subway station by herself. After all, she was starting to get acquainted with the Bronx, though she still dismayed over moving away from Brooklyn when she was finally getting to master it. The neighborhoods, particularly Brooklyn Heights and where Holden lived, contrasted so vastly--she instantly noticed the worn down qualities that characterized the Bronx. The affluent area of Brooklyn Heights had been the closest to her home country as she could get, aside from the Upper East Side of Manhattan of course. Less people wandered around the streets of Brooklyn Heights than the Bronx and most importantly, the people that did seemed to resemble Elle much more. Without the glow of her naïveté, she looked much like the typical resident of Brooklyn Heights. In her every step was a refined nature that years of training had instilled into her, and a mere stripping of her title would not take such a permanent feature away. Without being a lady, she was still the prim and proper Elle treading the pavement lightly in her red heels.Working for the news station as a reporter meant dressing up almost everyday, and Elle had grown accustomed to having to take the long walk home in her stilettos and dresses. Of course, Holden was always there to help her through any steep inclines or puddles, but today she was a woman of her own abilities. As she got off the subway station and walked out onto the streets of the Bronx, Elle dug through her purse and checked the time on her phone, turning into an alley that they often took as a shortcut to Holden's apartment. The possible danger of the situation didn't occur to her until she stepped further into the alley, the sunlight blocked by the large brick walls as her surroundings grew considerably darker. It was no big deal, she told herself. The walk would be quick and she would soon be back to broad daylight before she knew it. All she could hear was the faint sound of horns honking paired with dripping water from the previous night's rain drainage.That was, before she heard them. Footsteps, growing in proximity. The deeper pitch of the sound hinted that they clearly were not walking on dainty heels, the heaviness uncanny. She willed herself not to look back, convinced it was merely someone sharing the alley. They came closer and Elle could swear the beating of her heart was echoing through the empty alley. As they grew louder and louder, Elle closed her eyes hoping, wishing, praying that what she feared most wouldn't happen.  The one day she had been left to her own devices was when things would go wrong. As the footsteps closed in, she tried to make haste of her steps before a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She froze, willing herself not to look at who it was. The hands weren't familiar--most definitely not those of the person she was looking for. They were calloused, rough and dark, and as their owner neared his body towards her, she shook in fear. Well aren't you a pretty one, the deep voice said. She bit her lip and said nothing. She couldn't. No words would come out.Before she could understand what was going on, her back met the cold, damp brick wall, her arms being pinned up by his own. I bet you're worth a lot, aren't you? The low voice said smugly. She could hardly make his face out of the shadows, but she was sure of his body frame--burly and stiff, shoulders wide and chest puffed. She couldn't breathe, the intensity of his stare piercing through the poor walls that she normally had. His hand ran down the side of her dress-clad body, and she felt disgusted at his rough touch. A million thoughts were running through her head, but none came to action as she stood petrified towards her violator. Scream, make a scene, attract attention, she recalled hearing. She opened her mouth to yell out, but the chance was quickly muffled by his hand as another toyed with the hem of her dress. She knew crying wasn't beneficial at any level, but the knowledge failed to stop the tears of fright from rolling down her cheek as her attacker smirked. Oh, don't cry, princess. I'll make sure you're back to your parents in one piece after I'm done with you," he said smugly, and she could smell the strong alcohol in his breath as she tried to avert his gaze.He pulled out an object from his pocket, the gleam of light shining her eye--he had pulled out a good sized blade, and proceeded to run it through the surface of her back a few times, before moving it back up front in between her legs. We could get you out of this dress really easily," she heard him say, before digging his knife through the fabric of dress in between her legs. She feared the cold metal making contact with her skin, imagining the pain of the knife and causing her to cry even more. Instead of the sharp blade, though, she felt his hand creep up her leg and meet the fabric of her underwear, going past any walls of dignity that Elle had left. All she could think of was dying.CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0

i'm not leaving you alone.Holden had, indeed, gotten caught up with work. It was a Friday night, so of course it was bound to be busy. Elle had worked late, and so he hadn't had time to go walk her home before going to work, but it wasn't fully dark out yet, so he trusted that she'd be okay. It was a good fifteen minutes before he got her text that she was heading home, and he frowned at it for a moment before quickly texting back Be careful. Don't take the alley. The alley that he often used as a shortcut to his apartment was a little worrisome even in the daylight, and even more so as evening started to approach. Of course, he didn't worry about it with himself--most of the types who hung around alleys like that weren't interested in him in the slightest, and if they were interested in Elle, well, he was more than capable of taking care of such a problem, wasn't he? The idea of Elle ducking through the alley by herself, though, put him on edge, but he forced himself to focus on work. When she hadn't texted him back in five minutes, he started to worry, but told himself not to be ridiculous. Sure, she usually texted back practically instantaneously, but that didn't mean anything. There were a million perfectly valid reasons as to why she hadn't texted him back. Ten minutes and he started to lose his mind, making people the wrong drinks, which Holden never did. Though it sounded silly to say, Holden was a rather talented bar tender, good at what he did, so it was highly unusual for him to make such mistakes, not even elementary ones, just brainless ones. At fifteen minutes, he gave up; something was wrong. He threw down the rag he'd been wiping down the counter with and glanced at his coworker. It was Jay, and he was a pro. If Holden could handle Friday nights by himself, Jay certainly could. He walked out without looking back, even when Jay yelled at him. He ducked out onto the street and jumped in his car. The bar was on the other side of the Bronx from his apartment, so unless Elle needed the car, he usually drove. Being a native to the Bronx, he knew all the back roads that let him avoid the worst of the traffic, and it wasn't long at all before he was pulling up in front of the alley.This was where the bad feeling in his gut had led him, and he wasn't one to ignore a warning from his instincts. As he got out of the car, he could already hear the scuffling sounds of someone moving. "Elle?" he called, worry coloring his tone as he took a few steps into the alley. His eyes took a moment to adjust, his brain another moment to register what he was seeing, and then pure, unadulterated fury shot through him and he leaped into action. His hand fisted at the back of the man's shirt, and he pulled him off of Elle, tossing him onto the ground, almost carelessly, and kicked the knife out of his hand and beyond reach. The adrenaline surging through his veins left him feeling as if the man weighed nothing, as if he was nothing, though Holden easily could have bested him even had he not been so angry he could barely see. He dropped to his knee beside the man, his hand finding his throat and squeezing, just a little, not so hard as to choke him, but hard enough that a mere twitch of his fingers would have him suffocating if he tried to struggle. "You think it's cool to come after women, you sick little fuck?" he hissed, his voice low and dangerous. His hours spent playing football left him in control of his body, and his emotions. Anger was useful on the field, giving a person the adrenaline surge to make a good hit, or run the ball down the field, but it had to be controlled; one couldn't be blinded by it, or it was bound to cause stupid mistakes. So it was that, despite his utter fury, he was completely controlled, his breathing slow and even, every muscle in his body ready to move, but at the moment utterly still. His control did something that made him seem even more terrifying--he wasn't just a raving, angry boyfriend--he was a well oiled machine, and by the look in the man's eyes, it had crossed his mind that Holden could kill him with barely a flick of his wrist. "Yeah, it's not so fun when it's you, is it, you bastard," he said, his voice still low and dangerous. His hand found the man's shirt, yanking him abruptly to his feet and throwing him roughly against the wall opposite Elle. "If I ever see your fucking little ratty face again, you will not get a second chance; I will kill you. Do you understand me?" he spat, disgust coloring his tone, and he left no doubt that he was telling the truth. He wouldn't hesitate to kill him if he saw him again. The man was whimpering pathetically, and Holden shook his head in disgust even as the man nodded that he understood. "Good. Then we have an understanding," he said, his tone deceptively mild. "I'm sure you won't take it personally, then," he said, his hand balling into a fist, "when I tell you that it's nothing personal. Just need to take out the trash." And he hit him, one solid clock to the jaw that dropped him instantly. Holden stood there a moment, over the man's limp form, his hands clenched like it would have given him immense pleasure to do the man more harm, and indeed it would have. However he had more pressing matters at hand. He spun on his heel and closed the distance between him and Elle, grabbing her by the upper arms, a little more roughly than he really meant to. The adrenaline still surging through his veins, combined with the battle between fury and fear in his head, left him a little out of sorts. His hand was as gentle as ever as he cupped the side of her face, brushing a few strands back from her cheek. "Are you okay?" he demanded, his fear again coloring his tone and making him sound angry, though he wasn't angry at her--at least not yet. That would come later, after they'd both had time to recover, but she should have known better than to take this alley by herself. How many times had he told her? Or had he? He couldn't remember, but it ought to have been common sense. He drew in a deep breath and crushed Elle against him, holding her tight. "We need to get out of here," he said, scooping Elle into his arms as if she weighed nothing at all. "Before that little fucking bastard comes to." The thought of calling the police never really entered Holden's mind. He hadn't actually raped Elle, and in Holden's experience, the cops did next to nothing for the little guys like him. In his world, it made far more sense to simply take care of things himself; he couldn't ever expect anyone to do anything for him. That wasn't how the world worked--a man had to take care of himself and his own, because God knew that nobody else would. He juggled Elle carefully when they reached his car, opening the door with the hand that cradled her legs and setting her gently on the seat, balancing on the balls of his feet as he looked at her.He already knew that he was going to be way beyond his ken. He didn't know how to help her, or even what to say, so he just exhaled a frustrated breath and closed the door, making his way around the car and sliding into the seat. It wasn't that far from their present location to the apartment that they now shared, and it was only minutes later that Holden was coming around to her door again, opening it, helping her out. He didn't say anything as they made their way up the stairs to his apartment and he let them in; he didn't know what to say at all, so he just sat down on the couch and pulled her gently into his lap, his arms wrapping around her and holding her close, the gesture speaking volumes about his love for her, and the lengths that he would go to to keep her safe.1,452 words for Elle/Rina

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.one thousand three hundred and forty nine words for mr. Holden foster, played by Pixel. and Elle is wearing this. And traumatized Elle is traumatized.The events unfolding around Elle, combined with her heart's rapid beating and her mind's constant motion had her in a state of shock, one in which she was essentially immobile. She was freed from the tight grasp of her attacker, her rib cage relaxing from the loss of force applied towards it and the circulation flowing back to its regular state in the places she'd been so tightly held. A relief washed over her body as she saw Holden's familiar frame in the dim light of the alley and instinctively, she wanted to run to him for protection. Her judgment refused to allow her, and rightly so--before she knew what was happening, her boyfriend, who had the considerable physical advantage, had her attacker pinned to the ground with a hand around his neck, and Elle's eyes widened in fear at what was developing in front of her. While she wasn't normally a person who would be intimidated by the mere sight of something, she couldn't help but feel terrified when it came to bouts of physical contact. Luckily, she'd never truly been around a full-fledged spar, but right then she wished that record had been maintained. She had never, in her entire life, seen anyone as mad as Holden currently was, looking as though he had the capability of snapping even the decently strong man in half.She'd known of his temper for quite some time already, but much to Elle's fortune, she'd never been around at the times when Holden would ever have such a reason to be mad. Much of their time was spent solely together, and she couldn't ever imagine doing anything so angering to Holden. It was as if he'd successfully transformed into a cold-blooded, ruthless assailant, and though it probably should have given Elle a sense of security, it did quite the opposite. Instead, she was petrified in fright over the sheer threatening nature in Holden's voice. She wasn't at all used to it--any of it--and neither was her body, unable to keep up with the quickening heartbeat and the heightened senses. As she placed both hands over her mouth in an effort to breathe deeply, she tried to avert her gaze from the contact between the aggressor and the protector. She knew that Holden had gone into a fighting state of mind, and that the man on the ground well deserved it, but seeing him keep a grip against his neck threatening suffocation made Elle want to stop her boyfriend. She wanted no deaths to come out of the situation, neither hers nor that of the man who was essentially about to rape her and take her away to some place Elle couldn't bear to think about. She realized the amazing amount of luck she had at Holden coming in at the right moment.As she watched Holden throw him against the wall with a thud echoing through the empty alley, her shoulders made the slightest jump as she let out a soft shriek, her breathing becoming shallow once more as Holden continued to talk to the other man. His voice resonated with such command and authority, differing greatly from the way that he normally talked to her. This was most definitely the Holden that had formed from a lifetime of living in the Bronx, of having to display physical, mental and emotional toughness--this was the Holden that never quite made the appearance to Elle. She had at times questioned the existence of Holden's hardened up persona, but right then, she displayed no doubts. As his fist connected with the man's face, Elle flinched at the sight before looking down at the ground, unwilling to see the man essentially drop unconscious. He had transitioned from being so dark, sinister and brutal into a rag doll state as he fell to the floor. As Holden stood for a moment, she couldn't help but stare at the seemingly lifeless body, her mouth slightly parted displaying her utter state of shock.She snapped out of her state of trance at Holden's touch, and found herself surprised when she involuntarily jumped a little bit at their physical contact. Her body most definitely still had yet to recover, the blood pulsing through her veins at such a rapid speed and her hands still shaking. As she looked right at Holden, listening to his question, she could do nothing but nod her head slightly at him. She had lost her ability to come up with coherent sentences a few minutes back, but as she was placed in his arms, her breathing somewhat steadied and her lightheaded ness had somewhat vanished. There was the instant comfort of his familiarity, no matter how short the walk was to her car, and she found herself calming the slightests as she tried to still her hands from their tremors.As they made their way up to the apartment, she noticed the unusual silence--usually their walks home were filled with mindless conversation, Elle rattling off a million different details about the events that happened to her that day. And while she searched her mind for something to say right then, she couldn't quite think of anything that would suffice. She wanted to tell him so much--that she was sorry for being so incredibly stupid, that she was extremely grateful, and a million different other variations of her sentiments. All she could think about, though, was the man's unwanted touch and the amount of control he'd held over her at that moment. She thought about what could have instead happened--she could be in some vehicle right now being taken far away to wherever the man so pleased, Elle vanishing without a trace. She didn't wish to fill her thoughts with such flashbacks and scenarios, but they plagued her as she walked up the creaky steps up to the apartment. Her color was still the palest of white, the natural pinkish tint in her cheeks absolutely gone as she shakily walked through the front door. At Holden's gesture of pulling her into his arms, she didn't object as she buried her face into where his neck met his torso, and inhaled his scent for a moment, soothed by the familiarity. There was something comforting about the warmth of Holden's body, despite the display of aggression he had just committed earlier. Her breathing and heart rate slowed gradually as she attempted to block the thoughts from her mind. She pulled her body away from his before mumbling, "I should... make dinner. It's late. And I have some work I need to get finished." Her usual rambling this time was desperate and much more rushed, as if she was aching to get something done. She stood up hastily. Routine was what she needed. She wanted something normal, something scheduled to pull her back into the reality that she was safe and relatively unscathed. She quickly stood up and made her way to the kitchen, taking out a frying pan from underneath the cabinet. She was once again standing alone, feeling the air conditioning blow slightly through her skin as she remembered the slight chill of the alley. She put the frying pan on the stove before stopping for a moment and before she knew it, the tears had started trickling down her cheek again as her shoulders shook, a soft sob barely audible coming out of her. She let go of the pan handle and proceeded to almost collapse onto the kitchen floor, hugging her knees as she proceeded to fall apart and cry quietly. She didn't understand why, having little control over her tear ducts or the stability of her body but there she lay, shaking, the most vulnerable she felt she'd ever been around Holden. "I'm sorry," she whispered quietly, though her apology intentions weren't quite clear. Was she apologizing about walking alone? Or taking the alley? Or being unable to fight back? Or falling apart on the kitchen floor? She didn't quite know.CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0

i'm not leaving you alone.Elle's silence was so uncharacteristic that it was almost uncanny. It made him almost nervous as he settled down on the couch. He let her go as she said she should make dinner or something, and that she had work to do. It really wasn't that late, but that was by Holden's standards. But then again, the bar didn't shut down til two, plus clean up time, so he was never home before three. He didn't even know what time she typically went to bed; she was almost always asleep when he got home and so he would simply get undressed and crawl into bed, and she was typically up and gone before he woke up.It was a little sad that it seemed they saw less of each other now that they were living together than they had when they lived across town from one another.He let her go, supposing that she knew more about what she needed than he himself did, though he didn't like to admit it. It pained him a little to let her go--he just wanted to hold her and make her world right again, make their world right again. He felt rather shaken by the whole thing himself; he couldn't even imagine what he would have done if something had happened to her. The thought was completely unimaginable. It would have driven him crazy to think that harm had befallen her.As she collapsed onto the floor, he was on his feet almost instantaneously, covering the distance between them in three quick strides, dropping to the floor next to her and pulling her roughly against him. "Oh baby, don't apologize," he whispered. He pulled her tightly against him, shushing her quietly. It killed him that she was hurting. He shifted so he was leaning against the cupboards, pulling her against him. "Oh baby, don't apologize," he whispered, his hand rubbing soothing circles around her back.It killed him that he didn't know what to do to help her. "Shh, baby, it's okay," he whispered soothingly. He couldn't imagine how this had happened. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I should have been there." He heaved a sigh. He couldn't even begin to explain how terrible he felt about this whole thing. Obviously not as bad as Elle felt, but damn close. He hated that she was hurting, hated that he couldn't do more, hated that he he hadn't been there to keep her safe. "Shhh, Elle, shhh, it's gonna be okay," he whispered. He found himself rocking subconsciously in a soothing manner, the way he had rocked his sister when she was a child and got sick, or had bad dreams that kept her up. "I love you, Elle, so much," he breathed, nuzzling his nose against her temple. More than anything in the world he wanted to make her feel better. He chaffed her arms gently. "Baby, baby," he breathed. He had never seen his Elle this way before; she was his ever happy, optimistic, ball of sunshine. He had only seen her cry the day at the airport, and then not to this extent. He hadn't felt like she was about to fall apart at the seams. He didn't know what to do about it, didn't know how to help her, and he hated being helpless pretty much more than anything in the world. Other than seeing Elle hurt, because that was worse than anything else. "Oh, Elle," he whispered, sounding totally pained. 579 words for Elle/Rina sorry this suckssss.

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.seven hundred and nineteen words for mr. Holden foster, played by Pixel. and Elle is wearing this. And traumatized Elle is traumatized.In some strange way, Elle believed it all to be her fault. That, if maybe she'd been more cautious and smart about it all, that all of it would have been totally preventable. She couldn't imagine what Holden would have had to say to her, had she not been completely quiet. Already, she was expecting some sort of lecture or reprimanding--telling her just exactly how reckless she'd been and how much worse things would have turned out to be. Why she expected so, she didn't know--Holden had never truly been one to talk her down like a child, nor did he ever get mad at her when she was already beating herself up. He was extremely perceptive in that way. It should have come as no surprise that within seconds, she found herself in his comforting arms again, realizing it was essentially the key to prevent her from completely disintegrating. "No, it's my fault," she told him in between sobs at his own apology. To her, it was wise to at least own up to her errors and save him the trouble of a lecture. Rational thought had not yet failed her, though her sanity was slowly diminishing each time she thought about what had just happened. "I wasn't thinking and I shouldn't have been there and that's why it happened." She was in the state where if she wasn't gasping for air through her sobs, she was using up what little oxygen she had left in her lungs. Despite how much of a mess she felt at the current state, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing.She wanted to pull it together--she desperately did. She wanted to put on a brave face and not let it affect her, to make it seem like she'd somehow come out as a victor. But the recurring images in her brain provided her no assistance and instead there she was, essentially falling apart in Holden's arms. Both his gentle touches and familiar, soothing voice provided her much comfort, repeatedly reminding her that she was safe now--that as long as Holden was there, nothing could harm her. "I love you too," she murmured into the chest she was leaning against. "You really shouldn't have to be dealing with this." She knew that in a world where relationships made sense, Holden would be with a street-smart, independent girl who never would have gotten into the kind of trouble she just had. But they didn't make sense, and while their undying affection made up for it, there were times like a few minutes ago that proved to be obstacles in their relationship. As they sat on the kitchen floor, Elle knew that the circumstances they were in we're always far from ideal, and she couldn't help but wonder how much Holden wanted to take. She had no doubt in his abilities of dealing with chaos, but she'd always prided herself in being the one strangely nice and unbroken thing in his life. Was this the end of the era?"Dinner... it needs to be made but... I can't," she stammered softly, her words turning into a jumble in front of her. It pained her to realize that though the man had not physically taken anything from her, he walked away with much of her sanity and her naïveté and all that was left was a scared, broken and vulnerable Elle. The kind that she knew no one wanted to deal with. She reached out for Holden's hand, the familiar sensation being slightly therapeutic to her as she continued to lean against him. "And your work... you should be at work right now," she trailed off, realizing she had just had a man come out of his source of income just to save her unintelligent ass. She looked up hesitantly at his icy blue eyes, asking a question that had been running through her mind over and over again. "Are you mad at me?" The rudimentary question was all she could mumble quietly,as she braced herself for another lecture on how she wasn't thinking. "I just... keep feeling it all over again," she confessed shyly, curling into his body searching for a sense of security and protection.CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0

i'm not leaving you alone.She was sobbing to the point where Holden was hard pressed to understand how she wasn't puking. He was pretty sure that if it had been him he would have been throwing up. And she was still managing to talk. He immediately shook his head when she said it was her fault. "Baby, don't," he said softly. ""I wasn't thinking and I shouldn't have been there and that's why it happened." He offered her an extra-tight squeeze. "No," he said, firmly but gently. "Baby, he is a sick and twisted person and that is not your fault. What he did is on him, and that has nothing to do with you." He drew a deep breath, his hand pressing gently against the back of her head, holding her close. He could practically feel her trying to hold herself together, and he hated this, hated that she was in pain. There were a million things he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't even begin to articulate them. He didn't know how to say them to her or even what to say. Though irritation had crossed his mind when he was on the drive over, having known that it had been ridiculous for her to take the alley by herself, but he couldn't dream of giving her that speech right now, not in her current condition. At that moment, he couldn't dream of giving her that speech at any time. Obviously she already knew where she had gone wrong, and beyond that, what more could he ask for? He just wanted this to be over, and for things in their world to be right again. "Baby, it's gonna be okay, I promise," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her head. "Everybody makes mistakes." He wanted to tell her not to take it so hard, but he didn't think that statement would be well accepted, or even accepted in the manner in which he intended it. It was impossible not to take this whole thing hard, even he was taking it hard and he wasn't the one who had nearly been violated. "Don't beat yourself up," he said, as the right articulation finally came to mind. The situation was bad enough as it was without Elle degrading herself and telling herself that it was all her fault. Truth be told, it could have happened anywhere in the Bronx; certainly it was more likely in dark alleyways, but the possibilities were endless, though that thought brought him little comfort.Her quiet "I love you too," brought a soft smile to his lips. Her voice was a little muffled against his chest, his hand running gently down the length of her hair. "You really shouldn't have to be dealing with this." He frowned, offering a quick jerk of his head by way of protest. "Babe, why would you even say that?" he asked gently. "Of course I should be dealing with this. Sweetheart, this is what couples do, they take care of each other." He heaved a quiet sigh. The truth of the matter was, the worst days with Elle were better than the best days with anyone else, and this certainly took the trump card of being the worst day in their history. He thought about telling her that, but it just seemed a little too cliche and he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. "This is what loving someone is about," he murmured, and pressed his lips gently against the top of her head, his hand still stroking the length of her blond hair. The same thoughts that ran through Elle's mind had also crossed Holden's. The idea of her suddenly being broken, shattered so terribly, nearly drove him over the edge. It was a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, that he couldn't hold onto anything that was whole. Though this had little to do with him, he couldn't help but think that if he had sent her on a plane to England, the way a real man who really cared for his woman would have done, she wouldn't be experiencing this pain right now. She would be safe in her estate with her family and whatever else it was that went on over there, and maybe that would be better. In some roundabout way, he was responsible for this disaster, and one didn't have to know Holden very well at all to know that he would never forgive himself for having brought about her harm. It didn't matter that he hadn't done so directly; his actions, letting her stay, had been the catalyst that led to this moment in time, and he regretted that. Of course, if she was in England, he would have missed out on so much, and he liked to think that she would have, too, but was it really worth this? He just didn't know. "Dinner... it needs to be made but... I can't." He quirked an eyebrow a little, and once again found himself shaking his head. "No, it doesn't," he told her gently. "Nothing needs to be done, baby," he said softly. Of course, there were always things that needed to be done, but at this moment, none of them mattered. He couldn't even imagine Elle trying to make dinner or do the dishes in her current state; it would have been agonizing to watch, possibly even more painful than just holding the crumpled heap that was the love of his life. "Don't worry about it, babe. It doesn't matter." That was the truth. He felt quite sure that he wouldn't have been able to eat, anyway. The thought of food wasn't even mildly appealing. "And your work... you should be at work right now." He sighed and shook his head. "No, Elle, I shouldn't," he murmured. "I should be here with you, exactly where I am. This is where I always should be. Nothing else is more important than you." Of course, there were times that, had he been forced to choose between Elle and work, he would have chosen work, simply because that was something that he did for Elle. Holden wasn't great at the whole "love" thing, showing his affection and his gratitude, but working hard was one of the ways he did so. Providing for a family was important, and keeping a roof over Elle's head and food in the fridge was part of taking care of her. He considered his job to be a labor of love, but one shift wasn't going to utterly destroy his paycheck, and, once the circumstances had been explained, he doubted he would be fired. Even if he was, he was a bartender; it wasn't as if his current job was the only bar in New York. In fact, bars in New York were practically countless, and, considering his proficiency as a bar tender, his job security was probably pretty stable. No, he wasn't worried about that. Work could wait. At this moment, Elle needed him, not his job, or the money or the food that it would provide, but just him, and he was more than happy to provide her with that presence. He met her gaze with a gentle one of his own, hating the pain and the brokenness he saw there. What if the man had actually gone through with all his intentions? What would that have done to Elle? Would she even be Elle anymore, or just a shell of her former self? The thought didn't even bear thinking about."Are you mad at me?" The question gave him pause, and he didn't answer right away. Holden was never one to answer questions rashly; he prided himself on honesty, and so he didn't answer questions until he was sure that he meant what he said. "Of course I'm mad," he said finally. "But not at you," he added soothingly. It was impossible not to be mad at the sick little fuck, at least for Holden. Perhaps that wouldn't have been true universally, where other people were concerned, but it was certainly the only thing that Holden felt towards the bastard. "I just... keep feeling it all over again." The confession pulled a deep sigh from between his lips. He didn't know how to help her, other than to pull her tight. "I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered. "I'm sorry I wasn't there." He drew a deep breath. "I told you that I would take care of you, and I didn't, and I am so, so sorry." Though the bitterness in his voice was minimal, anyone who knew Holden as well as Elle did understood the implied statement that followed that sentence. "I will never forgive myself." It was hard to say whether Holden's expectations of himself were a flaw or a positive; he was by far his own worst critic, and on the one hand, it created many of his finer qualities, his chivalry and his protectiveness, because he expected a lot of himself. On the other hand, he almost expected too much, and as a result was almost constantly berating himself for some failure or another, though this was by far his most grievous as far as he was concerned. He sighed softly and kissed her again. "I think maybe we should just go to bed," he whispered. "Things usually look better in the morning." Carefully he got to his feet and then bent down to scoop Elle up, cradling her against his chest. The walk from the kitchen to their shared bedroom was a short one, and he deposited her gently on their bed. Rifling through the dresser, he tossed her a set of pajamas, assuming that the dress she currently wore couldn't possibly be comfortable. He dragged his own shirt over his head and yanked down his pants, pulling on a pair of athletic shorts before sitting on the bed next to Elle, slipping his arm around his shoulder and resting his cheek against her head. "I love you, Elle, so much," he whispered sincerely. "I am so sorry that this happened to you, and if there was any way on earth for me to make this better for you, I would." His hand found her chin as he gently pulled her face toward him, meeting her gaze with a gentle one of his own, his eyes open to all of his pain and his frustration and the love that he felt for her. "I love you," he whispered again, and ducked his head to press his lips to hers, so gently that they barely touched at all, more of a butterfly kiss than anything, his touch tender as he cupped the side of her face. "We'll get through this, baby," he promised, his face still hovering near hers. "We will."1,799 words for Elle/Rina. Back to novels. xD

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.one thousand one hundred and forty five words for mr. Holden foster, played by Pixel. and Elle is wearing this. And traumatized Elle is traumatized.Under most circumstances, Elle absolutely despised being treated like she was some sort of fragile doll, threatening to break at the slightest touch. She refused to think of herself as someone who needed to be looked after and held and treated with the right of affection to survive, but it wasn't the case then. In fact, Elle was sure that if She had not found herself in Holden's embrace, she would have been laying on the floor half alive already out of brokenness. Somehow, the sensation of having him snake his arms around her and stroke her hair softly was the exact remedy that Elle needed. The soft, gentle touches of someone who could do so much damage were all that Elle required at the moment to keep what little sanity she'd managed to escape with from the alley. Still, her mind managed to be in the self-blame mode that didn't want to let the blame all fall on the random stranger. It refused to believe that a man of no familiarity to her had attacked her unprovoked, and that she was just a victim of an unplanned crime. She remembered his words. I bet you're worth a lot, aren't you? the voice echoed inside of her head, and she shuddered at the vivid recollection. She tried to fill her mind with good memories, but they'd all been taken over by the darkness that she was in a mere few minutes ago. "I just.. there's so much I could've done differently," Elle explained through short breaths about the current contents of her mind, despite it's disorganization and current utter chaos. "How do you get past knowing how well things should have ended up?" Naturally, Elle still had questions even in her current state, some deeper than others. On an optimistic end, it looked at least like the man had not touched Elle's curiosity.She still had questions, if not much more than she ever had before.As he refused her suggestion to return to his obligations, she found her pale lips forming a smile subconsciously, the lower level of her awareness realizing that at least it meant spending more time with Holden than she did on average. Was she supposed to be happy about the arrangement? She didn't know. She didn't want him to feel obligated to tend to her as she fell apart, but she also knew that he wasn't exactly emotionally sound either... or at least she assumed so. It seemed so surprising that the Holden that looked like he was out for blood earlier was the exact same one that was holding her as her tears flowed freely. She had the urge to ask him about it.--how he felt and what was going through his own mind, Was his heart beating as fast as hers? How was he dealing with his own emotions? What exactly was on his mind? She hesitated in asking, as if asking would mean that they had to get into further detail and completely relive it, so instead she settled for his arms as she listened to his soothing words. "So you'll stay with me? Tonight, I mean?" she asked him, a small glint of optimism evident in her voice. When it was all said and done, she at least had the comfort in knowing that Holden was still there, a constant presence in her life. It almost seemed so unusual that she would ask such a question, as if she should know that he would stay, but at the moment all Elle needed was a heightened reassurance in everything safe in her life. "I just need you," she whispered quietly as she returned his embrace, wrapping her slender arms around him to feel his warmth in her arms and for further reassurance that he was stil there.She found herself breathing a sigh of relief upon realizing that she was not the source of his anger, but the relief was soon replaced by a fierce shake of the head. "It's not your fault either, love," she told him, even her mind refusing to believe that he had any part in it despite his own statements. She knew Holden well enough to know that he hardly took any type of blame easily, taking it to heart as long as it came in the right situation. This, of course, was one of those situations, she noticed merely from Holden's voice. It hurt him too. She wanted to stop crying, stop falling apart more than anything in the world if it meant that Holden wouldn't think he had failed in any manner. "You're the reason I'm alive, and I'm so grateful for that and for you", she told him, gazing at his blue eyes with the utmost sincerity. "You can't save me from everything, remember?" She offered him a weak smile, as if to hint that she was going to be okay eventually.As he picked her up and took her back to the bedroom, she noticed how incredibly exhausted she was. Even without the incident, she'd been running around all day in those heels working for the news station, and she'd longed for the bed the minute she'd stepped on the subway after work. She slipped out of the dress that had constricted her figure all day and replaced it with the pajama top, not bothering with the bottoms as she settled for bare legs and underwear. Normally, going to bed meant her extensive face routine, but the minute her back hit the mattress, she realized just exactly how tired she was. She tried to close her eyes for a moment to see how drowsy she really was, but all Elle could see behind her eyelids were the dark alley and the figure waiting in it. She looked up at him with a frightened gaze as he crawled into bed right beside her, not bothering to mention what she'd seen as soon as she closed her eyes. Instead, she relaxed at his touch and listened to his relieving words. "I love you too," she replied, inching her way closer to his body. "I just... I can't sleep, and I'm scared," she admitted, as she curled up to him, relaxing at the familiar sensation of his lips on hers. She let out a small, longing moan, well aware that Holden's kisses were enough to forget about everything that was happening around her. It was quite like temporary amnesia, the good kind where all she knew was Holden. "Holden," she spoke his name in almost a quiet whisper as she placed a hand on his bare chest, meeting its warmth with her cold fingertips. "Make me forget, please," she begged of him in her vulnerable state.CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0

i'm not leaving you alone.Holden was well aware of the fact that typically, Elle hated being babied and coddled, bu there were exceptions for every rule, weren't there? Hell, even Holden wanted to be coddled a bit on some days, and this was rather extenuating circumstances. He felt quite sure that this was one of those cases where Elle needed to be coddled. He didn't anticipate it becoming a usual thing, but for today, he was more than happy to pull her close and hold her tightly to himself. "I just.. there's so much I could've done differently." He frowned and shook his head, pulling back slightly as he slid his finger under her chin, pulling her head so that he could look her directly in the eyes. "Look at me," he murmured softly, and met her blue eyed gaze. "Elle, stop it," he told her, his voice a gentle command. "There's no point in thinking about all the things you could have done. The fact of the matter is, you didn't." His voice was gentle as he spoke, his features soft and sympathetic. "There's no point in beating yourself up over the "maybe"s and "might have been"s and "if"s. Trust me, baby, I know. Just don't. Don't put yourself through that." Her next question brought a slight frown to his features. "I don't know," he told her honestly. "You focus on what is, instead of what might have been. You think about the fact that we're here, together, that we have each other and that's everything we need," he whispered. He couldn't help but smile a little at the fact that she was even asking such questions. She was always asking questions, and it brought him some relief--it was a smidgen of his Elle poking through, still whole and intact.He had no way of knowing what was running through her mind. He hadn't even thought about his actions up to that point. Elle had never seen him angry, had never seen that side of him. It was a side that was typically only reserved for his sister; she had seen him angry, watched him beat up more guys than he cared to count. There were a lot of jerks in high school, and Holden had had to have a talk with more than a few of them on Hanna's behalf. Those sort of actions from Holden were much more Hanna's expertise than Elle's, and he didn't even think about the fact that such actions on his part, going from an avenger to a lover so quickly might have left her with some whiplash. That was just what he did, whatever had to be done. At her question about whether he would stay, he frowned a little, but nodded "Of course," he said softly. He couldn't really understand her need to even ask such a question, as if he was even capable of leaving her at that moment, when her broken voice reached his ears again. "I just need you." Holden felt a flash of intuition, and he understood her question a little better, though he couldn't really articulate it. "I'm not going anywhere, baby," he murmured, tightening his arms around her as she nuzzled against him, resting his cheek on her head. Her little pep talk couldn't keep a small smile from his lips. Here was another smidgen of the real Elle rearing her head, always trying to convince him the best about himself. Though he wasn't about to argue with her on the subject at that moment, she wasn't going to convince him, either. Her words held a grain of truth; he was responsible for the fact that she was here, physically whole, but he was also responsible for the fact that she was traumatized, reduced to a trembling, sobbing mess on his kitchen floor. "You can't save me from everything, remember?" A frown creased his features and he gave a sharp shake of his head, as if to disagree; she certainly wasn't going to convince him on that count. He knew that logically he couldn't protect her from everything in the world, but that didn't keep him from thinking that he should. It was his high expectations for himself again, though this time they erred toward the negative end of the spectrum, causing him to expect the impossible of himself. The thought of somebody even touching Elle, his Elle, was sickening, and it brought a fresh wave of fury with it that he had to push down with a conscious effort of will power. This wasn't the time, nor the place, though he still wanted to kill the mother fucking bastard. He pushed those thoughts from his mind again, forcing himself to focus on Elle instead. Her weak smile incited an answering one of his own, his hand brushing back a strand of her hair, his palm resting on the side of her face as he was overcome again by exactly how much love he felt for this woman.As they crawled into bed, Holden was aware of the fear that flickered across her gaze as her eyes snapped back open, pulling a small, inaudible sigh from his lips; this was going to be a long night. He shook his head. "Don't be scared, love," he whispered, her term of endearment slipping off his tongue.Her soft moan was more than enough to pull desire from Holden practically instantaneously. The way she said his name pulled all of his attention, until all he thought-saw-felt-knew was Elle, the sound of her voice, the touch of her hand against his chest. "Make me forget, please." He gazed at her for a moment, warring with himself, but this was what she wanted, and who was he to argue? His lips found hers again, until she was all he tasted. He found himself thinking, as he had their first time, that if his and Elle's physical contact was contained to only kissing, it would have been enough for him, more than enough, even. Elle's presence in his life was all he needed. He twisted, edging her back on the bed and pressing her back until she was laying down. His hands roamed her body, gently, not so much hungry or taking as giving, of himself, giving her the distraction she had begged for. He slipped her shirt off, then the underwear, followed by his own clothing, minimal though it was. His focus was all on her, until she was the only thing that existed in his world. He loved her long and slow, the way he had the first time. This wasn't the second time for them, but their experiences had been limited by conflicting work schedules, the clock always ticking, counting down the seconds they had together before they had to break apart again. Tonight there was no clock to tell them otherwise, and they filled the time that the clock kept without a thought for previous engagements, thought of nothing but each other. Holden gave her all of him, selflessly, until he had nothing left to give, and then collapsed next to her, his arm snaking around her to pull her on top of him, until she was resting on his chest. "Sleep now, love," he whispered, his hand rubbing gently against her back, soothingly, encouraging her to give it up and rest.1,221 words for Elle/Rina. Back to novels. xD

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.I SUCK AND WILL REDO THIS IF YOU WANT ME TO!Elle hadn't quite known defeat or tragedy like the average person. In fact, the smallest, most depressing in her life were probably a slap to the face to a normal person, considering how easy her life had been for the most part. The only challenges she'd had we're putting up the perfect image for her aristocrat friends and families, and while it would be a hard feat for the average person, it wasn't for someone who had long been immersed by it all like Elle. She'd gone to New York seeking adventure, to suffer through average person woes voluntarily rather than out of necessity. While it seemed terribly unusual, it was what Elle felt she'd needed to do in order to live a truly complete life. She'd asked for hardships, but never what she was going through at that moment. She'd heard time and time again to be careful what she'd wished for, but only then did she truly understood what it meant, and in the hardest way possible.But no matter what she had gone through in a matter of minutes, Elle still couldn't find herself in the all-or-nothing attitude. She couldn't see herself preferring to stay home in her perfect, seamless life in England, and it was all because of the man holding her. In the back of her mind, she realized that if she had the choice to have anyone hold her together while she cried her eyes out, it was Holden, and for numerous reasons. As he answered her question with such conviction, she recognized the first reason: his strength as a person during times of tragedy was unparalleled with anyone Elle had come to know. Any of her friends would, too, have been traumatized alongside her, but somehow, Holden hadn't shown any sign of hindering support as he held her through it all every step of the way. She listened to his sage advice, nodding in understanding over the statements that made perfect sense. It always saddened Elle that Holden had experienced too much in his twenty three years of life, but had he not, the support system may not have been as strong as it was at that moment. The physical comfort that Holden offered was perhaps equal to, if not less than the emotional strength that he had provided her with the smallest of gestures and simplest of words. It wasn't the first time in the span of their relationship that Elle had been on the verge of a breakdown, and it definitely wasn't their first encounter with misfortune, but all the others had left them much stronger. This time, she couldn't help but doubt the light at the end of the tunnel, nor the good that could ever come out of such an event. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she whispered to him, a thank you for all that he'd done so far and admittance to how much she truly needed him around. "I know it's not easy being with me," she admitted, letting out the softest laugh. "But somehow you're still here and... thank you." While Elle had always been expertise for articulation, the state of mind she was currently in put her in no stance to be as eloquent as she would have preferred, but a genuine half smile at Holden conveyed more than any sentences she could have constructed. At that point of the relationship, Elle already knew the control she had over Holden--she most definitely knew that he hardly said no to her requests, but she hardly wanted to take advantage of it. She'd learned over a span of time that Holden had no qualms with giving to Elle's smallest requests as well as her biggest. Elle wasn't one to outright ask for something, preferring to hint or convey it without any verbal expression, which was what exactly she was doing. She needed to feel Holden's reassurance through his touches, to get lost in him completely without a single thought of the outside world or of everything else that related to her. She spilled herself into the contact of their lips, the desperation for Holden's passion evident in the way she ran her hands down his back and through his hair. She responded to his every touch, surrendering herself to the mere physical sensations as she tried to block out any memory of the other man's touches. She gave all she could, hoping that by the end, she was incapable of feeling any fear or sadness. As they broke apart, she lay on his chest, listening to the soothing beat of his heart as she closed her eyes, obeying his suggestion.Her eyes were closed for no more than an hour as she fell into a light slumber, before the events flashed in her memory again and immediately she sat up, a thin layer of sweat on her forehead. She broke the silence of the room with a sharp intake of breath, and a frustrated sigh at realizing it was a mere nightmare. CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0

i'm not leaving you alone.Holden knew that Elle was suffering, and he hated that. He hated that she felt this way, and so he did his best to give her the distraction she desired. He didn't think of himself as a giving person, didn't think about the fact that he was a good friend. It was simply what he did. He did everything he could possibly do for his friends, giving of himself as completely as he possibly could to keep those he cared about happy. To him, that was just what friends did. He didn't think about the fact that he went above and beyond the call of duty, that he did things others wouldn't have. This was even truer for Elle than it was for others in his life. There was absolutely nothing that he wouldn't have done to make her happy, but then again, he had never felt this way about anybody before, hadn't even imagined he could feel this way about someone. His entire life had been spent watching crumbling relationships that had left him feeling that there was no way a relationship could possibly work. Now he understood, though, that there was a difference between mere relationships and being in love. He hadn't known that there was a distinction before Elle waltzed into his life, but now he did, and he was glad of that knowledge.As he listened to her speak, he heaved a slight sigh and shook his head. "It is easy being with you, babe," he whispered back. "It's the easiest, most natural thing in the world." He shook his head. "And you are more than welcome." He couldn't understand how she could possibly think that loving her was difficult. He had spoken truly when he told her it was the most natural thing in the world. Of course, loving someone all the time was never easy, but it was easier with her than it would have been with anyone else. He was utterly crazy about her, and he couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else. He loved her, and though love was not always easy, he was finding that it was, in fact, always worth while. He wondered now if he hadn't been negligent of late, allowing their conflicting work schedules to come between them. He hadn't been as attentive as he had been when they lived separately, and he was sorry for that. He wished now that he had spent more time with her; maybe if he had, things would have turned out differently. He couldn't imagine how that would have changed things, but life was tricky that way. Still, it was too late now, and if this whole experience was going to teach him something, it was that he would never take a moment with Elle for granted again, and he wouldn't allow anything to come between them. He would make time for her in the future, never being negligent with her again. He hadn't given her the time she deserved, and he was sorry for that. However, he would learn from his mistakes. "Also," he murmured, after a moment of silence. "I'm the one who wouldn't know what to do without you," he said softly. That was the truth. HE could hardly remember life before Elle had come into his life, changing him forever, and most certainly for the better.It was true that Holden would have been more than happy to give Elle anything she desired, if it was within his power, and possibly even if it wasn't. At the very least, he would try with all his might to get it for her, but he was finding that she didn't like to express things out loud, and he wondered briefly if perhaps she had felt the distance growing between them, if she had wanted more time with him and not asked him for it. He would not make that mistake again, and he would do everything he could to supply for her every need before she had to ask. The way she made love to him that night showed him just how desperate she really was, and he stretched himself to give it to her, gave her everything he had, wishing that it was more. When she finally fell into a light sleep, Holden did, too, but it was short lived. He was awake the moment she sucked in a deep breath and sat up. He sat up more slowly, leaning on one hand, the other rubbing her back before sliding around to her shoulder, pulling her against him and kissing the side of her head gently. "Shhh, love," he whispered. The hour of sleep left him feeling more tired than he had felt to begin with, the way getting only a taste of sleep and then being forced out of it often does. "Shh, love," he repeated again, his lips still pressed to the side of her face. "It's okay." He sighed, shifting a little, wondering if he spoke truly. Was it really okay? Would they ever be okay? He lay back down, pulling her with him, his hands tracing patterns on her back and shoulders. "I love you," he whispered, as if someone that would be a panacea for all her hurts, as if merely his love could fix everything. How he wished it were that simple, but he knew that it was not. Life was a lot of things, but it was never simple.I don't even wanna count how many words for Elle/Rina.

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.RAPIDFIRING LIKE A BOSS SO IT'S EASIER TO REPLY TO BECAUSE THEN I CAN REPLY TO YOU LATER TONIGHT ONE LAST TIME BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME AND I DIE AND END UP IN A DITCHAs Elle woke up in a cold sweat, it failed to register for a moment where she truly was. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, only illuminated by the moonlight creeping through the blinds, she quickly reassured herself that she was home--at the apartment, where she was completely safe. As soon as her attempts began, she was met with the contact of a hand on her back, automatically making her jump the slightest bit. Her mind eventually adjusted: she was back in the apartment, in bed, and Holden was the only other person in the apartment--not the twisted attacker that was infecting her mind in her sleep. She breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled her against him, enveloping her in his strong, sculpted arms. She closed her eyes, knowing that they could belong to no one else and that the person who held her was the one who would never harm her in any way possible. Listening to his soft whispers, she nodded in agreement--it was okay, wasn't it? She was still alive, breathing, for the most part healthy, and physically unscathed. It was, in most people's standards, okay, and she desperately wanted to be like most people. She wrapped the covers around herself before pulling away to look at Holden, who she had to admit, looked exhausted.Much to their misfortune, Elle hardly ever had a chance to see Holden at night--she got home, made herself dinner and made sure to leave plenty for him, finished all of her schoolwork and crawled into bed hours before he came home. Sometimes she occupied herself with the television or her laptop, but no movie she watched stretched to one or two in the morning, which was when she assumed Holden came home. By the time she woke up the next morning, he was still sleeping and she'd mastered the art of getting out of bed without him stirring, despite the usual hold that he often had around her. It seemed so odd to even see him in the evening, in the moonlight, and without any rest. She knew Holden didn't get much rest in the first place, but assumed that the day's events had probably taken a toll on his own energy too. She wondered about his usual fatigue, knowing she herself couldn't make it to two in the morning on her feet. Elle had always been an early sleeper and an early riser, a habit she'd developed from her fondness of the sunrise. Even living with Holden, she never missed one, always making sure to arise early enough to make herself a cup of tea and sit by the window for only a few minutes.But now, she couldn't find herself falling to any type of sleep, though she wanted Holden to get some rest. "You should sleep, love, don't worry about me," she told him, running her fingers gingerly against the side of his face. He, too, took no physical harm, but that was already a given for Elle. She'd never witnessed the aggressive side of Holden until then but before that, she suspected that he made a considerably good fighter. A half-smile formed on her face when she thought about how he'd come into her apartment for the first time, bruised and cut, telling her that it was nothing. She still worried about Holden more than she probably should have, but it had come to the point where she trusted him not to go out and endanger himself. She at least hoped that she made it clear she needed him around, and if she hadn't before, she certainly did now. She broke off his contact and gave him a reassuring glance. "I'll be fine, I just need to do a few things." Standing up, she picked up the underwear and shirt that had been discarded onto the floor and slid them back on before finding a hair tie on her wrist and gathering her blonde locks into a loose ponytail. Without another word, she walked back into the kitchen. She proceeded to put a kettle of water on the stove and grab a mug and a bag of tea out of the cabinets, all familiar activities to Elle. Despite having lived there for only a short while, she'd already been accustomed to the whereabouts of everything she needed, keeping the questions of "where can I find this" to Holden or his sister completely minimal.She settled herself onto the couch with her mug of tea and pulled a blanket over her legs, grabbing the textbook and highlighter that made its home on the coffee table. A page into the book, she realized the deafening silence that had taken over the room and reached for the remote, turning the television on and letting it play on whatever channel it currently was, not knowing she had turned it onto the movie channel currently airing the Orphan. She scanned the words on the textbook, realizing she'd probably told Holden a small lie. More than likely, she was going to fall asleep on the couch doing her schoolwork than find her way to bed. CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0

i'm not leaving you alone.Holden ached for his girl. It was true that he thought of her rather possessively, though not really in a negative way. It wasn't so much that he was possessive as it was a mentality that said, "this is mine to care for." Perhaps he was a little overbearing sometimes, seemingly overprotective, though tonight had proved that he wasn't the way he was entirely without reason. The fact that she jumped at his initial touch just about broke his heart, and it had him drawing her tighter against his chest than he might have otherwise, wanting more than anything in the world to protect her, to strip her of the fears that she was harboring, the dreams, whatever it was that was plaguing her in that moment. Her nod of agreement to his statement was halfhearted and left Holden dissatisfied. He wanted to help her, and it frustrated him to no end that he didn't know how. He was a fixer; he liked to take action to make things better, wasn't one to simply sit and sympathize, but he really didn't know what else to do at this point. He was totally unaware of the fact that he looked exhausted. He was too focused on her for the fact that he was actually rather burned out to even register in his mind. He watched as she wrapped the covers around herself, his hand reaching out to cup the side of her face, his gaze incredibly gentle as he looked at her. It was true that their schedules left them little time to each other, since she worked during the day and he worked in the evenings. It was a little sad, really, how infrequently their paths crossed. He was going to have to work on that. It was just unacceptable that they practically never saw each other. And it was something that was remedied easily enough. He made a note that he was determined to see her more, instead of merely leaving her hanging as he had recently. Now that he thought about it, he'd been kind of a terrible boyfriend ever since she moved in, actually. Again, simply unacceptable, and he was going to have to do better. That was the thing about Holden; once something was drawn to his attention, he didn't whine or complain about it, he just fixed it. He had never been the sort to groan when his coach told him that it wasn't good enough, that he wasn't fast enough, even when he felt he was giving it everything he had. To his way of thinking, if it wasn't good enough, then there must be another gear in there somewhere, and it was just a matter of finding it. He worked until it was good enough, but then he wasn't satisfied with that, either, and he kept working to make good enough good, good great, and great best. So the thought of having to work to fix something didn't perturb him; it was simply something that had to be done, and he would do it, because that was the kind of person he was. Holden had always been something of a night owl. Early morning practices had never agreed with him, particularly when he'd partied, though in college, that had been rare, as he had been loathe to do anything that would put his scholarship in jeopardy. His years spent as a bartender had only cemented his late-night habits, being the sort to go to bed in the week hours of the morning and sleep until early afternoon. Elle had most certainly gotten accomplished at slipping out of bed without his notice, though perhaps it was merely that he had adjusted to her presence and his body noted that it wasn't something that required his concern. In general, he was a light sleeper, waking at the slightest noise in the night, so it really was something else that he slept through her morning departure. He supposed it was just a testament to routine and familiarity. He wondered if maybe that was the downfall of most couples, though, was familiarity. Was it possible to get too familiar with someone? to the point where you didn't really appreciate them anymore? It was a thought to be pondered at a later hour, when he wasn't half sick with worry about his girlfriend and barely functioning from exhaustion. It was true that Holden didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but he had never been the type to require a solid eight hours of sleep to function. Five or six and he was good to go for the day, and he could function quite happily on even less than that. It wasn't so much the lack of sleep that was getting to him at that moment as it was the stress and the events of the past hours.He watched her with unassuming blue eyes as she told him he should get some rest, not to worry about her. Yeah, fat chance. Her hand brushed the side of his face, and he turned his head to press a kiss to the palm of her hand, his eyes never leaving hers. Holden certainly didn't go out and intentionally endanger himself, but he didn't back down from a fight, either. Still, he didn't go looking for fights, and if they came to him, they were usually ones that he could win quite easily. There certainly wasn't any need for her to worry about him--Holden was more than capable of taking care of himself, and he had been doing so since he was small, much too small for such a responsibility, but nonetheless, that had been his life. He watched as she pulled on her underwear and a shirt and then disappeared before heaving a huge sigh and flopping back down on the bed, laying flat on his back and staring at he ceiling. He exhaled a large breath of air and groaned. It wasn't as if he was going to be able to go back to sleep now, not without her there, and certainly not knowing that she was out somewhere else doing who even knew what? It was funny--he could sleep through her leaving, but trying to get to sleep with her absent felt impossible. He had become accustomed to her presence in the night when he went to bed, the way that she would migrate to his side of the bed, nestling against him, even in her sleep. It was familiar and he felt her absence acutely. Sighing, he tossed the covers back, pulling on his boxers and padding silently out to the living room. She had already made tea and settled down with her homework, which Holden supposed wasn't surprising. He paused for a moment to watch her, before she became aware of his presence, trying to understand what was wrong with her, wanting to know if she was as "okay" as she was trying to come across or if she was just covering up to make him feel better and put his mind at ease.His gaze flicked to the TV and he lifted his brows, stepping intentionally on the board that creaked as he made his way across the living room so as to avoid starling her. "Interesting choice," he told her, nodding at the TV and picking up the remote, click through infomercials before finally giving up. Tossing the remote aside, he settled on the couch next to her. Elle had hardly made a peep since moving into his house, rarely asking where things were and preferring to simply scout around until she found them. And while Holden was happy with whatever made her happy, he wouldn't have minded if she had made a little more noise. In compliance with his endless patience, Holden wouldn't have been bothered in the slightest to explain to her where things were, but he understood why she hadn't asked. She didn't like to stir the waters or be a pest, though the thought of her being a pest was completely preposterous as far as Holden was concerned. His arm slipped around her shoulders, his hip pressed against hers, but otherwise the contact was minimal. He was happy to let her work, content simply to be with her. His eyes watched the TV without really seeing it, his brain taking in the occasional tidbit of totally useless information, but for the most part his thoughts just wandered. His gaze eventually drifted to Elle, and his finger gently caught her chin, tilting her head up until he could look at her properly. "Elle," he murmured. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Really honestly truly okay?" he asked, concern etched across his features. He watched her for a moment and then ducked his head to press his lips gently to hers before pulling back minimally. "I love you," he breathed, "so much. You are my entire world and I would die if anything happened to you."1,496 words for Elle/Rina. Gosh I love these two.

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.RAPIDFIRING LIKE A BOSS SO IT'S EASIER TO REPLY TO BECAUSE THEN I CAN REPLY TO YOU LATER TONIGHT ONE LAST TIME BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME AND I DIE AND END UP IN A DITCHIf one thing could take Elle Somerset's thoughts off of her current woes, they lay in the books in front of her. She'd always been terrific at school work, with an impeccable focus and ability to drown out anything in order to get her assignments done. Despite her strange dilemma of being caught up in an array of happenings--her job, her family, and a relationship--she'd managed to succeed in maintaining her grade point average to a decent one, only letting a few B's slip by every now and then. It was an integral part of Elle's priorities. Whatever life seemed to throw her way, she managed to find the latest hours of her day to sit down and finish all of the assigned reading that no one else seemed to do, and the practice was almost relaxing. Her eyes scanned the text, her lips pressed firmly together in an expression of concentration as she read intently about the early works of Rembrandt. For the fleeting moment, no thoughts of the events of that day entered her head--only the famous works of famous artists, ones that she could name and match up in her sleep. She twirled a strand from her ponytail around the index finger of her left hand, her right hand gripping the highlighter that she had placed the end of in her mouth out of habit. She snapped out of her studying daze at the sound of Holden's voice, looking up at him in curiosity over his statement before looking at the TV, tilting her head at the movie playing. "Oh, um, you can change it if you want to," she said shyly, and looked back down at her book before glancing up again in realization of how much sense her comment made. "I mean, obviously you can change it, it's your apartment so you clearly have channel-changing privileges." At her own awkward statement, she let out a soft laugh. At least, at the end of the day, Elle Somerset had not lost her habit of rambling incessantly about the most insignificant things. Her sheepish gaze drifted back to the book in front of her as she found another sentence to highlight, determined to get that night's reading done as if it were any other day. The importance of school work was as much stressed to her at a young age as manners were, and she almost felt a personal battle. If her offender could keep her from succeeding in another aspect of her life, then it was almost another victory from him, and she didn't intend on letting that happen.She felt Holden settle next to her, his arm slipping around her shoulders as she found herself automatically settling into it. It was almost comical that she thought she could separate herself from him for that long amount of time. While they didn't spend many waking moments together in the apartment, their sleep was heavily centered around being in each other's warmth, something that Elle had taken a liking to. Waking up every morning and loosening herself from Holden's grasp had always been a necessary evil to her. Had she the option, staying in bed all day seemed to be much more attractive than any school day. Elle had always been one to enjoy as much sleep as she could get, tiring easily from her own daily activities, and it saddened her that the only time she could consciously enjoy Holden's warmth was when she had to pry herself away from it. She held up the soft fleece blanket that had covered her lower body, offering the excess of it to Holden. "Blanket?" she asked before returning her attention back to the textbook, making sure that both of them were comfortable. "I guess telling you to sleep was futile," she said lightheartedly, the smallest of smiles creeping up on her lips. They sat in silence for a few moments, Elle comfortably settled underneath his arm, going back to twirling her hair and chewing on her highlighter every once in awhile. Even with the lack of a verbal exchange, she enjoyed the silence they shared, merely sitting in each other's presence. She missed the days when they weren't running around trying to get necessary work done, when they had time to spend sitting around and Elle could ask Holden questions until she tired herself of knowledge. It was almost as if they'd made a trade--that since they lived with each other, the time they spent actually talking went to other things, and the only time they spent together was asleep. The thoughts ran through her head as she read more into the art of the Northern Renaissance. While the thought seemed so negative, almost a problem that they should talk about, it almost seemed rude for Elle to complain. Things, after all, could be so much worse--she could be in England instead, not seeing Holden at all. Talking about their lack of talking seemed almost ungrateful to Elle, and that was one thing she never wanted to be considered to be.As his hand made contact with her face, her eyes followed up his arm before landing her gaze at his face, watching the concern dance across his features. It wasn't a new sight for her boyfriend to appear so worried--in fact, it would almost be unusual to see him go days without the slightest bit of concern--but never had the sincerity ever faltered. In fact, she was sure that at that moment, he looked more concerned about her than any other time. She bit her lip in a moment of contemplation, unsure of how to answer him. "I will be," she said simply after pausing, and closed her eyes to feel his lips on her forehead in a moment of utter comfort, as she put the highlighter down and spent a moment enjoying Holden's presence. She smiled at his words, the first time she'd ever been referred to as his entire world. No matter how many times he'd stressed his love and the importance to her relationship, it never came to the point where Elle would get tired of hearing his deepest sincerities. She knew that relatively, he wasn't one to get all too sensitive, and gained much happiness in the fact that it seemed to be different with her. "I love you too," she whispered, half-smiling. "Sorry if I make it much too hard for you to prevent anything from happening. I'm kind of excellent at being the biggest inconvenience." She let out a soft laugh for a moment, before curling up even more next to him. "I really don't know why, out of all the women in New York City, you decided to pick the one who was the least able to fend for herself," she joked, before her tone turned slightly more sentimental. "But thank you. I don't quite know how I'd make any of this up to you." CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0

i'm not leaving you alone.Having never been the scholarly sort of person, to say the least, Holden had a great deal of respect for Elle's bookishness. He didn't really understand it, but he respected it, and it was one of the things he greatly admired about her. He didn't understand her ability to lose herself in books, but he rather envied her for it. It would have been great to be so easily distracted. Not that he could really afford to be easily distracted. He didn't even have time to read, granted he hadn't really made time to read or study, even in college. He had been there for his brawn, after all, his ability to catch a football, not for his grades. They'd had to stay decent, of course, but as long as he was passing, he was in good shape. And, despite the common stereotyping of him as a "dumb jock," he was actually a decently smart fellow, so he didn't have to put a huge amount of effort into passing his classes. Math especially had come naturally to him. Thus the reason he was often stuck doing inventory or counting till, because he was the only one who could do quick math in his head. It wasn't something he really thought about, it was just there, one of his many unexpected skills. He really would have been lost in Elle's art books, but he was glad that she enjoyed it so much. And he rather enjoyed watching her study, the way she nibbled on her highlighter, or pursed her lips together in concentration. It was a becoming look on her, but then again, there were few things that Holden thought didn't look bad on Elle. He supposed that was what love did to a person. It was sort of crazy, really, to think that he loved her, how much he loved her. He had been the sort of man who thought himself beyond loving anyone or anything, except his sister, of course, but that was a different story altogether. What he felt for Elle wasn't even along the same vein as what he felt for Hanna. He would have done anything in the world for Hanna, and that was even more true where Elle was concerned. He didn't know how it was possible, but it was. She was, without a doubt, the most important person in his life, and there were moments that his love for her was so deep that it hurt physically, in a good way, though he hadn't known that was possible. He had thought many things impossible until Elle wormed her way into his life.He laughed a little as she rambled on. "I wouldn't change it if you were watching, but you're not, and I don't think that would be your first choice anyway." He nuzzled against her neck a little "It's our apartment, babe," he mumbled. "You're not a guest, you're living here. It's your place as much as it is mine." It was true, as far as Holden was concerned Though he probably came across as being miserly or something, being from the poor side with a tendency to hold onto his money as long as he could, he was a pretty big hearted, generous sort of person. He disliked that Elle felt she was a guest who needed to ask permission or something. As far as Holden was concerned, she was his girlfriend, and it was her apartment every bit as much as it was his. "What's mine is yours," as far as he was concerned. "This is your home, babe. It's not like you need my permission." At least he hoped it was home to her. It wasn't Badminton House, by any means, but he loved her. That had to count for something in making the apartment home, didn't it? He thought so, anyway. The place certainly felt homier to him since Elle had moved in, yet another of the many differences she had made in his life since making her debut. He didn't even know how she had done it, but she had, and now she was a permanent fixture; he cringed to even imagine life without her. As much as part of him thought she would have been better off going back to England with her family, he was still beyond grateful that she had stayed. Even if he was guilt tripping now; tonight's occurrence never would have happened if she was back home, safe and sound in England. He was trying his damndest not to think of that, though, or he would want to just pick her up right now and take her to the airport. He couldn't even stand the thought of her getting hurt.Holden couldn't restrain a small smile as she snuggled against his side. He liked the way she did that, liked that it was an almost automatic reaction to his touch. It was a relief, somehow, that she was as attached to him as he was to her. It made him feel safe, instead of vulnerable, like she would do everything she could for him, the same as he would for her. People said that love made you weak, which he supposed was true, if you were unwise in love. What he and Elle had, though, he felt that it made him stronger, because he knew that he would always have someone to fall back on. Elle was a comforting presence in his life, challenging him and holding him to his highest standard, while simultaneously accepting him exactly as he was, wounds and all. At her offer of the blanket, he smiled a little, slipping under it and moving his body even closer to hers, if that were possible. It really did seem empty without her beside him. He couldn't even remember what it felt like to go to bed without her. He laughed a little when she said it was futile to tell him to sleep. "I guess so," he responded, resting his head on her shoulder. The position was a little awkward looking, but one of those things that was strangely comfortable at the same time. "It's fine, though," he added, not wanting her to feel bad or something, as she was prone to doing. Honestly, he was more likely to fall asleep here than he was in bed without her. If he knew the thoughts wandering across her mind, the fact that she missed the time they used to spend together, Holden would have felt like a complete and royal asshole. It would have cemented his determination to spend more time with her, but that was already pretty set in stone as far as he was concerned. He'd been neglectful, and that wasn't okay, not by a long shot. Though the high standards he set for himself could sometimes be a negative quality, giving him a tendency to expect too much of himself, it was also rather one of his strengths. It was why Elle considered him such a "good person," even though he himself didn't. He just expected the best of himself, and he was relatively well acquainted with what his best was, more so than many people, at any rate. And he was always striving to be better. He knew it wasn't something that you just were, it was a process, and you were never at your best because you could always be better. That was his attitude, and it kept him on track, leaving laziness an impossibility in his life.It was utterly impossible for Elle to seem ungrateful to Holden. He understood her, he knew her heart, and he knew that she was completely and totally grateful. If he knew that she was keeping things from him out of fear for how it would come across, he would have been horrified. To him, communication was important, and if she had wanted to completely and utterly bitch at him about the fact that he was a slob or something, he wouldn't have held it against her. Communication was important, and if there was something he needed to fix, he wanted to know so that he could fix it. Hell, if she needed to yell at him, that would have been okay. Holden wasn't intimidated by fights; he knew that they were a natural part of relationships, and there wasn't even a modicum of fear that their fighting might lead to one or the other of them leaving. Nothing Elle could or would ever say to him would cause him to leave her, and he knew that she felt the same way. Granted he was bound to be a lot more careful with his words than she, simply because she was far more sensitive than he was. Maybe it was good that they didn't really fight--Holden fought well, or really badly, depending on how a person wanted to look at it, and he got pretty heated up, which often led to his saying things he didn't mean. Elle wasn't the sort to be able to brush things off with an "oh he didn't mean it," so he was loathe to get into those kinds of situations. He was glad that they didn't fight, but he certainly wanted her to come to him if she had any kind of problem at all. That was what relationships were all about--trust and communication.He met her gaze evenly as she lifted her eyes to him, his expression concerned and sympathetic, but also holding an intense amount of affection and love, plain and simple. He couldn't possibly know how much his expression changed when he looked at Elle. His features just softened, and he got a look in his eye that couldn't really be explained. He was crazy about her, pure and simple, and it was evident when he looked at her. At her quiet "I will be," he simply nodded his acceptance of that statement. It wasn't what he really wanted to hear, obviously, but it was to be expected in such a situation, and at least she wasn't feeling hopeless or something, like she'd never be happy again. It was better than it could have been. It was true that Holden wasn't one to do heart to hearts, but for some reason, it was easier with Elle. Probably because she held his heart in the palm of her hand anyway, so it didn't feel all that revealing to have such deep conversations with her. He shook his head at her statement. "You're not an inconvenience," he mumbled, and laughed a little. "Maybe because I like fending for you," he suggested with a smile, wrapping both arms around her as she snuggled in against him more closely. "You do make it up to me, every day," he murmured. "I'm the one who owes you," he added softly, and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss deep and passionate, though more in an emotional sense than a physical one. It wasn't the kind of kiss that left you wanting more, it was more the kind of kiss that conveyed a great deal of feeling. Holden poured himself into the contact, all of his pain for her hurt, his sympathy for her situation, his love and sheer adoration, it was all practically palpable.1,882 words for Elle/Rina. Gosh I love these two.

SHE DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE.ONE FIVE SEVEN TWOIn her earliest days, Elle could vaguely remember fantasizing about her future life--that by twenty four years old, she would be happily married to her husband and they would live somewhere quiet. She'd pictured a home in the English countryside, with a lengthy driveway leading up to it and large, white wooden double doors--inspiration she'd drawn from leafing through endless home decoration magazines that had been laying around her house. She imagined tending to a garden of an assortment of flowers, all arranged beautifully: not too coordinated to look unnatural, but not untamed to look unattended to. Gone were her personal servants, the maids that had followed her around to make sure her needs were being attended to. Instead, they were replaced by a husband, someone who was around occasionally to maybe perform the smallest favors for her. She had not exactly dreamed of living in an apartment in the Bronx, much less living with her boyfriend of not even a year, without any support from her parents whatsoever. But while it certainly hadn't been in the game plan, she found herself surprisingly unwilling to trade her past preferences for the reality that she lived in now. It most certainly wasn't perfect, evident from that day's events, but when everything was said and done, Elle was happy. Often times, she would find herself a little surprised and unaccustomed to not having all of her material possessions, but it never warranted any worry or panic because she could certainly live without whatever was missing. "Oh, so I can paint the bedroom walls that carnation pink that I'd always wanted?" she joked, a sly, teasing look on her face.As she glanced at Holden, she wondered what his own plans were before they'd thrown all road maps out the window. Did he want a house eventually? Did he envision himself in a marriage, with children by a certain age like she had? She highly doubted it, but the subject provoked her thoughts. As she fell into a contemplative silence, she couldn't help but leave the question at the tip of her tongue. She'd worked on keeping her questions at a minimum for the longest time, but the one on her mind felt too big, too expansive to be left unanswered. "Holden?" she asked him, without looking up as she leaned against him, fiddling with the highlighter in her hand. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" The question was much like one in an awkward ice breaker, though Elle's inquiry had almost come out of nowhere. She thought about backing it up with a simple "Just curious" statement, but instead merely looked at him expectantly for an answer. She bit her lip, hoping the question wouldn't result in an uncomfortable, unpleasant subject for either of them, a worry of hers for all of her inquiries.At his attempts to wave off her worries over his lack of sleep, she shook her head stubbornly, knowing that he was just like everyone else no matter how many superman-like qualities he seemed to possess. He, too, needed his rest, and she knew that in front of them was a rare opportunity for Holden to be able to sleep before midnight, or at least at the most reasonable hour a night owl like him would. In many ways, Elle possessed almost motherly tendencies at times, concerned about the well-being of others despite their resistance. She tended to Holden's cuts from bar fights, all the while rambling on and on about how he should be more careful and how he could get seriously injured beyond repair one day. Likewise, she was always concerned about the amount of rest he got, no matter how many times he reminded her that his job had accustomed him to such a sleep schedule. "You should really consider some rest," she said sternly, poking her highlighter at the side of his arm for emphasis. "Unless you want to hear me talk about Albrecht Durer and Jan Vermeer for hours, in which you would most likely end up asleep anyway." A small smile crept on her lips as she poked fun at Holden's disinterest in art. On some occasions, she would go on and on about certain pieces that she'd just viewed, with no regard to how little he was entertained by the subject matter. It was only when he spaced out completely did she realize that he had no idea what she was talking about at all. As she smiled, she recognized how much she missed those conversations, no matter how one sided they seemed to be. Had she known that they'd fall into a busy silence, she would have made him talk a little more, but the past remained in the past. While she wanted Holden to fall asleep, she at the same time wanted him to stay up with her while she toiled over her work, keeping her company even if it was just by her presence alone. She figured that, even if he fell asleep on the couch right beside her, she would be perfectly satisfied. He deserved his rest after a long day of work and though he hadn't completed it that night, he most definitely needed it even more after that day. No matter how many times Holden proved his toughness and his ability to go without many things, she at least tried her best to spoil him in any way possible. Whether it was by finding ways to leave him the perfect meal every night or by cleaning every inch of the apartment, Elle seemed like she'd come straight out of Good Housekeeping, the perfect companion for just about any man and his house. She didn't quite mind doing any of it for Holden, hoping that he was at least as happy with the circumstances as she was. While a few months ago, she would have been able to easily gauge his mood, their lack of communication had led her to wonder how well she still knew him. As the conversation progressed, however, she smiled at the turn of discussion, at the fact that they were really, truly talking, almost like it had been when they'd first gotten together. Though she had no intention of taking the past few months back, she certainly didn't mind the reminder of how they used to be. They were still Holden and Elle--she still thanked him every time he held the door open for her, and reprimanded him whenever he said something even remotely vulgar. The feeling of his hand automatically intertwining with hers as they walked along the streets still made her smile, no matter how common the gesture was. The fact was that everyday with Holden seemed to feel like the first day, and while they'd certainly had their strongest disagreements, she was still undeniably madly in love with him. He was still, and always would be, the man she gave it all up for, and she'd yet to regret the decision. She loved him--it was as simple and certain as the sun rising and setting, and no matter how many little obstacles they faced along the way, or how large, she was grateful to have the same man beside her once again every night and every morning. She rolled her eyes playfully in a joking skepticism, laughing softly. "I think you just enjoy this whole night in shining armor thing a little too much, Mr. Foster." she replied. She looked at him curiously, wondering how and why he would even be in debt to her. She had come along and moved all of his plans and establishments around, and he owed her? It failed to make sense. "How so?" she asked. She met his lips halfway with the kiss, giving as much of herself as she possibly could and as they went on, found herself smiling against him as she closed her eyes and left her senses to rely on the pure sensation, the emotion exuding from both of them. She ran a hand along his arm, not in a lustful, wanting manner, but in one in which she ached to merely feel his presence on her fingertips, to know that he was real and he was there in front of her. She pulled away from him hesitantly, her lips flushed with color as she curled up against him once more. "I love you," she whispered for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night, but she couldn't help but stress it once more. "And I don't know what I did to deserve you but you're quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me." She smiled at her own confession, tucking her hair back behind her ear and biting her lip nervously, waiting for his reaction to her admittance. It was strange that even at that point, she couldn't help but wonder about the reality of their relationship. She'd heard so many stories of how relationships were supposed to end up, how the love eventually dissipated and how good things would always cease to exist. Was there something she was missing out on? Was this truly forever? At the moment, it seemed so. At the moment, it seemed like the house in the English country side was made for someone else, and she was made to be there, in the small apartment, beside the man she loved more than anything she'd ever come to know.CREDIT TO JADE @ CAUTION 2.0