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May 19, 2012:
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 let in the dark., tagged: mama rosewood !
ASHA ROSEWOOD
Posted: Apr 22 2012, 11:54 PM


TINKS • LADY
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Group: SOUTHERN NOBLE
Posts: 106
Member No.: 44
Joined: 8-April 12



This had been a complete and utter nightmare, the whole entire thing. It was something Asha was sure she was going to wake from, any moment now she was going to wake up in her bed and realize that the whole thing hadn't happened, that it was something she had imagined. Actually being happy with someone for once had all been too good to be true, how had she not known that? If her mother and father had chosen someone for her and she had actually enjoyed his company, then how the hell hadn't she seen that something like this would happen? She was actually happy with Alaric, happy about being in love for the first time in her life. It was shocking, but Asha was looking forward to her wedding, looking forward to planning such an event and it was going to be a beautiful event, she knew that much. Alaric was someone she wanted to spend her life with, Alaric was someone she wanted to be around, he was someone she could actually see herself sharing her life with. She knew that they connected in some way and that they were able to talk and share things together and that was enough for Asha. She was a girl in love for the first time in her life and she couldn't wait to share the whole thing with Alaric. She knew he felt the same way about her and it made her heart swell every time she thought of it. Or at least, it used to. Now whenever she thought about it, it made her heart break. She had never felt pain like this before in her life and now she knew why her mother and father had closed themselves off to one another, she knew now why people didn't fall in love and why some decided to chose a life of celibacy, it was better to be alone than to ever get hurt.

Asha could barely get the image of her parents standing in front of her out of her mind. How they had commanded herself and Alaric to come and stand before them, as if they were on trial for something they hadn't done. And that's what it had been over all. It had been a trial where the judgement was already decided. They were guilty of shaming their families and their houses and there was nothing they could do about it. They were to be seperated for good and they couldn't argue it, despite Asha trying her hardest. She had tried to be resolute, tried so hard to stand her ground and be strong but in the end she had broken. It was seeing Alaric break that really tore her heart to shreds. Seeing him drop to his knees and beg her parents not to tear them apart, it was this action that almost had Asha run to him, she had wanted to tell her parents that she was her own person and that they couldn't decide anything for her anymore, especially who she was to love. But she couldn't, she found herself glued to the spot, unable to move even to go to Alaric to make sure he was okay. It had broken her heart into a million pieces knowing that this was it, she was never going to be in his arms ever again, she was never going to lay by his side and fall asleep in pure bliss. Of course they had their last kiss, but it had been bittersweet and shortlived as Alaric was torn from her and tossed out of the castle by the guards. It was after this that Asha had felt the bile rising in her throat and she had run for her room.

Running into her room, she had quickly grabbed one of the basins and vomited, much to her maid's displeasure. Bringing her head back up from the basin, Asha finally fell to the floor in a slump, her head in her hands as the tears fell freely. ”Lady Asha... is there anything we can do?” Feeling a hand on her back, her head lifted as she glanced toward her two maids who looked on with obvious concern in their eyes. Shaking her head, she wiped away the tears falling down her cheeks before she let out a shaky sigh. ”No, I'm afraid there is nothing you can do.” Pausing for a moment, she took another breath before pushing her hair back from her face. ”Let me help you, Milady.” Both maids took Asha by the arms and pulled her to her feet before leading her to the chair by her dressing table. Steadying herself in the chair, she gripped onto the table before giving them a light smile. ”Thank you... I just....” Stopping herself as a sob escaped her lips, she shook her head to show her maids that she preferred to be alone. Burying her head in her hands once again as her maids left the room, she managed another shaky sigh as her back shook with each sob she let escape.

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Beatrix Rosewood
Posted: Apr 23 2012, 03:59 PM


JAYMIE • LADY
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Group: SOUTHERN NOBLE
Posts: 16
Member No.: 90
Joined: 17-April 12



No one wants to be a villain. But some people are suited for it. Beatrix Rosewood was suited for the position, but with is came a great amount of power. When she spoke people listened, when she commanded it was done. She ran a household, commanded her husband, kept her children safe. And every day, when she saw the looks Asha gave her, and it only furthered the anger that built within her. She had given Asha an amazing life. She was raised with everything she could want, well educated, a happy child. But Asha had become spoiled, selfish, and worst of all stupid. The last few hours had been spent canceling the betrothal of Asha to Lord Seawynd. They had had grave errors in their so called love. They had rushed. Beatrix would certainly understand the appeal of giving into ones base instincts. The desire to give in was one she was familiar with, clearly she and her husband had partaken, they had three children, and those were not the only times. Beatrix was familiar with her husbands flesh, and even if there was no affection, no love in what they did, it didn’t make it feel like less to Beatrix. She cared about her husband, wanted good things for him, wanted him to be all he could be, and she helped him achieve it often.

The role of children was to be ignorant, but Asha was no longer a child, she was ready to understand that she could not continue to be ignorant of the way her life affected her. Asha had met with a man who was not her husband, she had done something dishonorable and it made her family look dishonorable. As Beatrix strode toward her daughters room, she thought of all of the things she wanted to say, how she wanted to have the patience to actually reach her daughter, the ability to say something and have Asha really hear it, really understand it. She couldn’t wrap her mind around how Asha could possibly be heart broken, when they had been the ones that were wrong, the ones that had created this mess for Beatrix and Xanthus to clean up.

Outside of Asha’s door Beatrix heard her wretch and shook her head in disgust. She opened the door and sharply spoke to the maids, “Leave us.” She commanded and they scurried. No one in the house would dare disobey her, the maids and servants were her responsibility and she was more than willing to let Asha keep the ones that she liked, so long as they obeyed the Lady of the House. Asha sat alone on the floor, tears streaming down her pale face, golden locks hanging around her face. Beatrix paced back and forth in front of her daughter, thinking of how best to attack this situation. “You’ve created quite a mess little Asha.” She said. Sitting down at the gold vanity she had bought for her daughter two birthdays ago. “Despite your willingness to take any blame, I hope that you understand you have brought great shame on your family.” She sighed a little thinking of her husbands weary face. “And you hurt your father, a great deal I think.”

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ASHA ROSEWOOD
Posted: Apr 24 2012, 02:14 PM


TINKS • LADY
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Group: SOUTHERN NOBLE
Posts: 106
Member No.: 44
Joined: 8-April 12



Asha could still not imagine how her mother thought they had done something wrong, how both of her parents had blamed her for the betrothal being put off. It was complete lunacy in Asha's eyes and in her opinion it was her parents who were to blame and not her. Yes, herself and Alaric had spent the night together, they had laid with one another and they weren't married. It would be scandalous for any such lady in the realm, but for a Rosewood Lady it was far more than scandal, it was dishonour for her family name. But then again, Asha had never even looked upon another Lord in such a way before Alaric, she had never dreamed of being with someone else. Alaric was to be her husband and therefore it had felt right, just being with him had felt better than she ever had done in her life. She was finally happy for one in her life and her mother couldn't see that, not even her father could see that. And even if they could see it, Asha wasn't sure they would accept it. Their daughter's happiness never mattered to them, or that was how it had always seemed to Asha. They cared little about their children's happiness as long as they themselves were happy in their lives and the power they had gained then nothing else mattered. Asha knew that much now, she knew it better than anyone in their household, even her two younger siblings. It was her younger siblings she felt for more than any other, after all, they still had to deal with being betrothed and falling in love whereas Asha had been through it already, they still had the heartbreak to come.

She was still shaking from the encounter with her parents, especially with her mother who had never spoken to her in such a way as she did in that throne room before. It just seemed as though her mother was finally sick and tired of her, and the thought of that was actually far more upsetting than Asha had ever imagined it to be. It was being called a whore by the only mother she had that had really gotten to Asha. Her maidenhead had been taken, but by someone she had loved, someone she was head over heels for and her mother didn't care about that in the slightest. Hearing her mother's voice just outside the room made Asha's stomach turn once again. The feeling of nausea washed over her as she took a breath to steady herself and make sure that she wasn't about to vomit again. Asha sat up straight, unable to wipe the tears from her face in time for her mother to examine her. She could feel her mother's gaze on her as her head remained bent toward the floor. It was though the woman was boring straight into her daughter's skull and there was nothing she could do about that. ”You've created quite a mess little Asha” Feeling her eyes well up once again, she took a breath and shook her head a little. Bringing her head up, her eyes drifted to her mother who was now sat at her vanity table. Hearing once again that she had once again brought shame on the family, Asha took a deep breath, steadying herself, ready for another battle.

”And you hurt your father, a great deal I think.” Frowning a little, she stared defiantly at her mother before clenching her teeth, attempting to calm herself down before she continued. ”Does it matter that you have both hurt me?” Her eyebrows raised a little in question before she managed to gather enough strength to wipe the tears from her cheeks and push her hair back from her face. ”I love Alaric, Mother. We were to be married. Yes, we laid with one another merely once and that for any other would be a scandal, but we were to be married.” Pushing herself up from the floor, she managed to walk to her bed before sitting on the egde, her eyes drifting back to her mother. Her mother, a woman who should have come into the room and hugged her, told her it was going to be okay but instead informed her of what she already knew. Pausing a few moments, she felt her eyes well with tears again as she stared over at her mother, her eyes revealing the pain she was in at that very moment. ”Did you love father when you were to be married?” Wiping her tears away again so that she did not look weak, she exhaled in an unsteady manner before dropping her hands into her lap. Was there anything she could say to get through to this woman? ”Did you ever love any of us? Did you ever want us to be happy?”

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Beatrix Rosewood
Posted: Apr 30 2012, 11:18 PM


JAYMIE • LADY
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Group: SOUTHERN NOBLE
Posts: 16
Member No.: 90
Joined: 17-April 12



Being a parent had never come naturally to Beatrix, her parents had been good enough and while they were happy with their lot in life, Beatrix assumed she was just born wrong, the love and warmth that came so easily to other mothers evaded her, it ran circles around her and she was left working at being patient, but trying hard every day. A nanny had done most of the parenting for Beatrix when the children were young, not because she didn’t want anything to do with the, but because she knew who she was, because she knew she couldn’t give them the love and warmth that they deserved. She had spent weeks searching for the right nanny when Asha was born, someone the exact opposite of her, someone warm and cheerful and bright. The woman was the bane of Beatrix’s existence but she had done her job well, and still lived with them now to give the children stability, and as her brown eyes observed her daughter on the floor, wrecked over the loss of a man, Lady Rosewood knew she had made the right choice. Her daughter could feel, she could love and she could hurt.

“Does it matter that you both hurt me?” Asha demanded of her wiping her cheeks of the liquid weakness, standing so starkly on her face, red lines worked their way through her eyes, cheeks flushed and warm. She spoke once again of simple things she could not comprehend and Beatrix did not answer because that fight was useless. A scandal it was for anyone, even people who were to be married, because the semantics of the sentences were wrong, we were to be married, was not the same was we were married. And whilst her daughter was young enough to not know the damage semantics could cause, her mother had seen enough time know the devil was in the details. Asha moved to the bed, and the distance was stark. They were far apart in every way possible. “Did you love father when you were to be married?”

That question was the worst question. Did she love him? No. But she wished to the God’s she did. She admired him, she would lay down her life for him, she respected him, and she wanted so badly to love him, but love that would never be requited... that was not something Beatrix would allow to happen. “Did you ever love any of us? Did you ever want us to be happy?” Sharply Beatrix looked up at her daughter, her weak, and feeling daughter, and she stood, crossing the ground betwixt them with ease. The bed sunk under the combined weight as she sat next to her daughter, floundering for the words to say, something she never had trouble with, because every move was planned. When they weren’t... well... this happened. Timidly almost she reached forward and touched her daughters cheek. It was so warm, and she was so cold, and for a moment her face softened. “Of course...of course I loved you. I loved you enough to keep you away from me.” her voice cracked ever so slightly under the weight of woman she should have been, a woman happy with her lot, a woman with a loving husband, and could be warm to her children. She searched Asha’s fair eyes for any sign of understanding, any sign that she could comprehend. She sighed heavily trying desperately to regain her composure. “Your father.... I... I suppose I hurt him a great deal too. He didn’t want to marry me. And he swore he would never love me.” She gave her daughter the truth she seemed to crave, she was honest. “I... I can’t let myself love him, Asha. He wouldn’t love me back.”

Her daughter had grown up with out her. “It matters, little Asha.” She murmured, eyes drifting to the window in her room drifting away but speaking her thought allowed, disconnecting from the conversation, willing herself to be anywhere else. “It matters that you are hurt, but it also matters that when you have choices... you make the right ones. and.... You didn’t.” She sighed again, reminding herself of who she was, not the woman that she idly wished she could be. “and so...your choices went away, it is the same way for all adults, Asha.” she looked back to her daughter. “And far worse has happened to women who made the same choice you mad.”

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