Everyone must buy this!!!

[Wordweaver_three]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/142599260...ASIN=1425992609

Cuz nothing sells "crazy" like a monstrously overpriced 650 page book written in all caps.

Take a quick peek at the customer reviews.

[Canuovea]

...

Bwahahahahahahahah. Amen.

Er. I meant: "Ahem."

[Harkovast]

We do need to buy it.

Or should I say-

WE MUST BUY HOLYSPIRIT VOICE OF GOD BOOK SO OUR NAMES WILL SURELY BE IN THE LAMBS BOOK OF LIFE!!!!

But the power of HOLYSPIRIT GOD is nothing compared to the power....


OF TIME CUBE!!!!!

[Wordweaver_three]

I read that for a while expecting the author to make a point, or at least attempt to prove his "mathematical facts".

I got bored of the repetitious, anti-semitic, and self contradictory language. So I scanned down until I found the images.

Apparently you can make a day longer by cutting the earth into 4 pieces and pretending that each piece is a day. This is easily provable if you know how a small pizza is magically transformed into an extra large pizza by the act of cutting it in half twice (4 slices is obviously 4 times more then a single whole). Why the author determined that there are only 4 days as opposed to 8, 16, 32, etc is beyond me.

How this disproves the existence of a homosexual god is also beyond me.

[Canuovea]

Da Fuck?

[Renard]

I'm going to die. I've robbed God of PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN one too many times, and now he's going to smite me into dust. It's because of people like me that the Church is cursed, and that the US is in a nasty bind with CHRIST JESUS, and that no one in "CHRISTIAN MARRYS" have babies anymore!


I'm a little unclear what "**" and ">>" are supposed to indicate, but they seem to take the place of a space or a comma, and she abuses the hell out of the colon.

I just find it telling how the "Christian teachers" who she feels have influenced her are all televangelists, and how one of them was investigated by the US federal government and nearly sued for fraud by numerous parties, and another is accused of being a bigot.

I'm just going to call bullshit on her prophet claim, she's just a barely literate woman from the bible belt who seems to have a pretty tenuous grasp on her own religion. This was so fucked up I had to check several other sites and sources to make sure it wasn't a joke, and I'm still not entirely sure.


I love the comments though. The comment and review section on Amazon can be brilliant when someone posts something bizarre or retarded.


Gene Ray is obviously a basket-case. I looked him up, and apparently he wanted to start a philosophical order based around marbles (more specifically spheres) back in the '80s. I think this guy just likes shapes.

[Wordweaver_three]

For 132 bucks you would think Ms. Eliyzabeth could afford an editor or two. She can't even form a single sentence without multiple errors.

Gene Ray is the wisest man/god in the world. I know this because he tells me so over and over. I thought about taking up his $10,000 challenge to prove him wrong regardless the fact that he's incapable of proving that he's right, but I noticed that he debunked other theories on why he's wrong by calling them "stupid".

Of course the fallacy is that his theory (whatever the fuck it is) centers around the idea that the turning of the Earth somehow controls the passage of time. I guess he saw Superman spin the Earth backward and took that as proof.

[Renard]

Maybe she's making a poor attempt at swindling people out of their money like some of her televangelist "teachers"; it would work better if she at least made it possible to read her book without getting a headache.


The passage of time is somewhat influenced by the planet, but I think it has more to do with gravity and speed of motion than anything else, and certainly not a cube and quantum mechanics. Sometimes the easy answer (i.e. the planet spins, creating night and day) really is that easy, not requiring a marble champion to figure out with a half-baked theory involving boxes and idiot's logic.

If he believes that all time is influenced by the planet then he is either proposing that the universe is geocentric, with all time centered around Earth, or that time doesn't exist outside of orbit.

[Tiberius]

WORD_WEAVER THREE IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT IN THE EYES OF THE LORD ALMIGHTY GOD. THIS FORUM IS TOO PLAGUED BY SINNERS AND SIN. I BET EVERYONE HERE USES BIRTH CONTROL! THAT IS BECAUSE SATAN WAS IMPLANTED IN YOUR MINDS BY THE HEALTH CARE CONSPIRACY RUN BY THE LIZARD ILLUMINATI OF ZION! THIS BOOK WILL SAVE YOU, AND THIS FORUM! THE SIGNS OF THE END TIMES REVEAL THEMSELVES! THE LORD WILL DESCEND DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO JUDGE THE WICKED! WILL HE FIND YOU CONTROLLING YOUR BIRTHS, OR WILL HE FIND YOU FRUITFUL? A TREE THAT BEARS NO FRUIT IS USELESS! BEAR FRUIT! THE PRUNING TIMES ARE UPON US! REPENT OF YOUR WAYS! BIRTH IS TO BE CONTROLLED ONLY BY GOD! NOT BY MAN!

[Canuovea]

Wait wait. Isn't pruning removing unnecessary bits? So isn't that like God saying "use birth control when necessary but have kids when you feel it is right?"

[Renard]

That's too coherent Tiberius, and you don't have nearly enough ** and >>.

[Harkovast]

I think it shows how crazy these things are when Tiberius sounds more coherent when he is typing nonsense on purpose.

[Renard]

It's hard to make something truly incoherent if you actually have an understanding of the language you're writing in. Maybe if we took a Colombian who knew barely enough English to get by, then beat him with 10lb sack of pomegranates and held him at gunpoint until he wrote a "HOLYSPIRIT MANUSCRIPT BOOK **DIRECTED FROM GOD>>" we would have something a bit closer, but Tiberius actually knows English, so it's a bit harder for him to sound like a fool...

...Tiberius, get drunk and try it again, the results will be better.

[Tiberius]

So... I failed to fail? Do I Succeeded then?

[Renard]

No, you failed in your intention to fail; that isn't a win, nor is it twice as much of a failure, it just means that you need to try harder.