Bleed for My Brother, General Hospital

[recklesslove]

I am writing this for a Fantasy Challenge I am entering on another site. I thought I would share it here and see what people think. Please leave feedback if you read it-I am always looking for ways to improve my writing/get compliments lol.

Part 1

Lucky lurched slightly as he entered the police station, putting his hands on a desk to steady himself. Looking up from a file he was perusing, Jesse immediately got up and went over to his partner. “Hey man,” Jesse said, putting a hand on Lucky’s shoulder. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lucky said, a little unsteadily. He quickly straightened up, but instantly wavered again. Jesse moved his other hand onto Lucky’s other shoulder, keeping him upright.

“Lucky, I don’t think you’re fine.” Pulling a chair over, Jesse eased Lucky down into the seat. “Maybe you should go home and rest.”

Lucky shook his head, a movement that elicited an involuntary groan from his lips. “We have a bust today. I’m not going to let you go out there alone, Jesse.” Jesse opened his mouth to argue, but Lucky stopped him. “Jesse, the bust goes down in half an hour. We need to go.”

Jesse’s proposed argument was again cut short, this time by Mac, reminding them that they needed to get going. Jesse was ready first, and began walking out the door, but heard a loud thump behind him. Spinning around, his horrified eyes fell on Lucky’s still body crumpled on the floor. “Lucky!” he yelled, dropping to his knees and feeling for Lucky’s pulse. He had one, but it was far too faint. “Someone call an ambulance!”

One of the other officers picked up a phone. “We have an officer down at the PCPD,” he said. “He collapsed and he’s unconscious. We need an ambulance here as soon as possible.”

“Lucky, c’mon partner, wake up,” Jesse urged. With quickly mounting horror, he noticed the fountain of blood that had suddenly started pouring from the back of Lucky’s head. When Jesse took off his coat and gently lifted Lucky’s head to try to staunch the blood flow, he was shocked to discover there was no wound. Yet the blood continued to flow, forming rivers around Lucky’s unmoving form.

[BROE4EVER929]

Don't kill Lucky
This is a very cool start. I really like the way you add in alot of detail, it helps picture it in your mind. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

[recklesslove]

Thanks so much Jackie! I plan on working on the next chapter or two during my Envi Sci class this afternoon which is where I work on all my fanfic so I should have at least Chapter 2 up by tonight.

[recklesslove]

Chapters 2 and 3
The paramedics arrived and forced Jesse to stand back as they started work on Lucky. Unable to locate the wound either, they quickly loaded Lucky onto a stretcher. Jesse followed them and climbed into the back of the ambulance. He held Lucky’s hand and anxiously watched his face, but Lucky’s eyes stayed closed the whole ride.

As the stretcher exited the elevator, Monica came rushing over and immediately took charge. Jesse watched helplessly as Lucky was wheeled away, then his attention was turned as Liz and Emily strolled over to the front desk, laughing and talking happily. Jesse could tell they didn’t know, and that he would have to be the one to tell them.

“Jesse, are you hurt?” Liz suddenly asked, staring at him in concern. It was only then Jesse realized he was covered in Lucky’s blood.

“No Liz, it’s…it’s Lucky,” Jesse said, forcing himself not to look away. “He collapsed at the station and started bleeding, but I don’t know why.”

“Oh God,” Liz moaned, her knees buckling. Emily and Jesse caught her together and helped her over to a chair. “Not again! I can’t lose him. I can’t.”

“He’s going to be fine,” Emily insisted, fighting back her own tears. “He’s a fighter, and he’s going to be fine.”

“Can I call anyone?” Jesse offered. He noticed his red-stained hands were now shaking violently and fought hard to still them. He needed to help, and for that he needed to get control of himself. “What about Lucky’s other family-Luke and Nikolas and Lulu?”

“Luke’s out of town,” Liz said shakily. “And when he’s out of town there’s no way to get in touch with him.”

“I’ll go call Nikolas and Lulu,” Emily offered, standing up and running her hands over her face. “Can you stay with Liz, Jesse?”

“Of course,” Jesse answered. Emily left, and for a moment neither Liz nor Jesse did anything. Then Liz let out a loud sob and buried her face into Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse put his arm around her as she cried. A few minutes later she sat up and let out a shaky laugh.

“I’m sorry,” she said. She gestured at his shirt. “I got your shirt all wet.” Another desperate laugh escaped her lips.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jesse said kindly. “You’re my partner’s wife. You’re family.”

The elevator doors opened again, and Nikolas, Lulu, and Emily poured out. Lulu was crying, hands pressed tightly against her face. “No news,” Liz stammered out, taking a few shallow breaths. Nikolas strode up to Jesse.

“You were there when my brother collapsed. What happened?” Nikolas asked Jesse. Jesse took no offense at Nikolas’ curt tone. He could tell Nikolas was hanging on by a thread.

“When Lucky came in to the station, he seemed really weak,” Jesse answered, still able to see the scene moment by moment in his mind. “He kept staggering and clutching his head. When we left to go to our bust, I-“

“You let him go on a bust while he was obviously sick?” Nikolas interrupted furiously. “How could you do that? Didn’t you-“

Now it was Jesse’s turn to interrupt. “Lucky insisted on coming with me because he didn’t want to leave his partner unprotected at a dangerous bust!” he yelled back. “I would never have intentionally let Lucky get hurt! He’s my friend, ok?”

Nikolas stared at Jesse for a moment. “I’m sorry,” Nikolas said finally, taking a shaky breath and running his hand over his face. “What I said…that was unfair of me. I’m just really worried about my brother.”

“I know,” Jesse said. “It’s ok. I understand. I’m worried about Lucky too.”

“If it helps at all, Nikolas,” Liz said, her voice clogged with tears, “Lucky really loved those cufflinks you sent over.”

“Cufflinks?” Nikolas turned to look at Liz, his brow furrowed with confusion.

“Yeah,” Liz said. “You sent over these gorgeous cufflinks, and you had them engraved with the date of Lucky’s and my wedding. “

“Liz, I never sent any cufflinks,” Nikolas said, his mind racing. “I’m actually having a pair made, but they aren’t done yet. There was some sort of hold-up at the jewelers.” Nikolas paused for a second. “Liz, who touched those cufflinks?”

Liz stared at Nikolas, confusion showing in her tear-stained eyes. “Just Lucky. He showed them to me, but I was holding Cam. Then he put the box in his bedside drawer. He joked they were too fancy for a drug bust.”

“Liz, I need your house key,” Nikolas said. “I promise I’ll bring it right back.” Liz handed the key over with no hesitation. Nikolas hugged Liz tightly. “He’s going to be ok Liz.” Turning to Emily, Nikolas lay a hand on her upper arm. “Will you stay with Liz?”

“Of course,” Emily answered, unable to stop her eyes from falling on Nikolas’ hand, which slid down her arm to meet her hand. For a moment their fingers intertwined, then Nikolas slowly pulled away, fingertips touching until the last moment.

“I need to go,” he said, his eyes meeting Emily’s. She nodded and moved to the couch, where she put her arm around Liz’s shoulders.

“I’m coming too,” Jesse said. “Cops tend to be pretty good at finding things.” Nikolas nodded, and he and Jesse got into the elevator.

Bleed For My Brother Chapter 3

Inserting the key in the lock, Nikolas opened the door to Liz and Lucky’s home. The familiar site appeared as warm and welcoming as ever, a few of Cameron’s toys strewn on the floor, an empty blue mug perched on the table. Nikolas couldn’t help but picture his brother there, on the couch, Cam in his lap, his arm around Liz as they shared a plate of brownies warm from the oven. That was the way things were supposed to be.

Instead, the rooms were empty as Nikolas made his way to the bedroom and opened the nightstand drawer. The drawer was empty. “Jesse, we need to find the cufflinks,” Nikolas called to Jesse, who was in the living room. “But don’t touch them if you do find them.”

Nikolas looked all around the nightstand, getting down on his hands and knees to peer under the bed. Jesse scoured the rest of the room, and then the two of them searched the entire place. The cufflinks were nowhere to be found.

Jesse lifted up the couch cushions for what seemed like the thousandth time. “Nikolas, why exactly are we looking for these cufflinks?” Jesse asked.

Nikolas sighed deeply, continuing to reopen drawers in the kitchen. “Trust me, if I tell you, you won’t believe me,” he said.

“I won’t be anymore confused than I am right now,” Jesse answered.

Nikolas looked at Jesse for a moment, then walked from the kitchen back into the living room. “Ok,” Nikolas said, leaning his weight on the back of the couch. “I think the cufflinks are cursed.”

“Ok, you were right, that does sound a little… extreme.” Jesse moved around the couch until he was standing next to Nikolas.

“You say that only because you’re new in town. There have definitely been weirder things here in Port Charles than cursed cufflinks.”

Jesse stared at Nikolas. “You’re serious.” He took a deep breath. “Ok, say the cufflinks are…cursed. Who would, and could, do something like that?”

“You are new.” Nikolas let out a bitter laugh. “There’s really only one suspect. May I suggest you go to the police station and pull the massive file on Helena Cassadine? You should know exactly what we’re up against.”

“What are you going to do?” Jesse asked.

“I’m going to pay a visit to my grandmother,” Nikolas said, his fists slowly tightening at his sides.