The SCP-914 Forum Game

You get the same pen back, except it has an unlimited supply of a bright bluish ink, and it won't write unless held with both hands.

Input object> I insert an edible carrot
Setting>1:1

Output - One (1) "Autumn King" Carrot. When fed to D-914-322, no ill effects were observed, and the subject reported it to taste "Fresh."

Input - One (1) Texas Instruments Ti-83+ Calculator, Four (4) Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, and Eight (8) F1 "Limonka" Hand Grenades, on "Fine."

You receive a fully functional pair of nigh-vision sun glasses.
How did that happen? Dr. ██████

I insert SCP-127 on very fine.

You get a living nuclear warhead. It is sentient and appears to suffer from severe clinical depression. It displays suicidal tendencies and is extremely determined to detonate. Under no circumstances may the object, now designated SCP-127-1, be allowed to detonate unless a safe distance away from Site ██

Insert SCP-127-1 on Very Fine

[REDACTED] Resulting in __ containment breaches, site could withstand due to advanced metal foundations and walls.

NEVER insert a depressed bomb into here again. GOT IT?! -Head Researcher ______

I put in a flash drive containing images of SCP-173 on very fine.

Output: a small holographic projector that projects a sentient image of SCP-173. Containment breach of Site ██. Destruction of projector eventually ended the breach.

Okay. Can somebody tell me why this was a good idea in their head? I'm being serious. I swear to god, I will [DATA EXPUNGED]. -Senior Researcher ███████.

I insert a pair of eyeglasses on fine.

Output: a small holographic projector that projects a sentient image of SCP-173. Containment breach of Site ██. Destruction of projector eventually ended the breach.

Okay. Can somebody tell me why this was a good idea in their head? I'm being serious. I swear to god, I will [DATA EXPUNGED]. -Senior Researcher ███████.

I insert a pair of eyeglasses on fine.

You receive a pair of Google Glasses, with a downloaded copy of Battlefield 5.

Wow, this is sweet. - Dr. K______

Addendum: Glasses are not to be used in any room with personnel or equipment, since the last time resulted in █ casualties and $███ in broken equipment.

I insert a Xbox Live 4000 Microsoft Point card on Very Fine.

Output: a small holographic projector that projects a sentient image of SCP-173. Containment breach of Site ¨€¨€. Destruction of projector eventually ended the breach.

Okay. Can somebody tell me why this was a good idea in their head? I'm being serious. I swear to god, I will [DATA EXPUNGED]. -Senior Researcher ¨€¨€¨€¨€¨€¨€¨€.

I insert a pair of eyeglasses on fine.

You receive a pair of Google Glasses, with a downloaded copy of Battlefield 5.

Wow, this is sweet. - Dr. K______

Addendum: Glasses are not to be used in any room with personnel or equipment, since the last time resulted in ¨€ casualties and $¨€¨€¨€ in broken equipment.

I insert a Xbox Live 4000 Microsoft Point card on Very Fine.

You get an Xbox 360, a Playstation Portable and unidentified components.

Input Object> One (1) Origami
Setting> Fine

You receive a washing machine made entirely out of paper.

"For once i can't blame you all for such a terrible output" Dr. M_____

I insert a large wheel of cheese on Rough.

Output> Nothing. However, the output booth smells like cheese now.

"Who came up with this idea? I'll need a gas mask!" Dr._____

Input Object> A video camera that is set to start recording 2 seconds before experiment starts.
Setting>Fine

You revive a smashed camera, melted into a solid pile along with a note that says "No"

I insert a toy cap gun in on fine

You revive a smashed camera, melted into a solid pile along with a note that says "No"

I insert a toy cap gun in on fine

You get a toy cap gun that never runs out of caps.

I insert a pair of Turtle Beach headphones on Very Fine.

You revive a smashed camera, melted into a solid pile along with a note that says "No"

I insert a toy cap gun in on fine

You get a toy cap gun that never runs out of caps.

I insert a pair of Turtle Beach headphones on Very Fine.

You get headphones that continously plays a loud ringing noise that seems to induce a state of euphoria. The noise seems maddening, but it's effects are harmless.

Input Object> Smoke Grenade
Setting> Very Fine

A small, solid metal sphere emerges. When thrown, upon impact it releases a large quantity of gas that effectively blocks vision and sound, and stays in the air for a long amount of time. Closer analysis of a sample of the gas reveals it to be [DATA EXPUNGED]

A condom. [Fine]

You recieve what appears to be a very small, transparant rubber tube, with one end sealed. It appears able to stretch over most phallic shaped objects within the human size range, and is indistinguishable from the covered surface by touch.

1 WWII V-Day commemorative bell, Very fine