[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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it was fifth period, or block, or whatever the fuck they called it here, and as usual, gideon was skipping class. what class he was skipping (chemistry), he didn't really care, because what was the point of school if you were dying? of course, no one knew he was dying, not the professor, not any of his "friends", just him, his family, his doctors, the nurses here, and the dean, and he wanted to keep it that way. none of them could tell, well, except for the dean, but she wouldn't, would she? he hoped not. the two had only interacted once, when he came to st. jude's, and while she seemed like an uber bitch, she couldn't tell anyone his secret, right? she couldn't be that cruel, or atleast, gideon hoped she wasn't. the fact that he had cancer, a pain that plagued him everyday, was the one thing, above everything and anything else, that he didn't want getting out to the school body. it would mean a million things for him, and he was pretty sure they'd all be bad. pity wasn't a feeling he wanted, nor did he want to be avoided like the plague, or seen as weak, or diseased, or sick. no one could know.<p>

and speaking of the cancer, it was just kicking in! gideon was walking the halls, mingling, and possibly looking for someone to hook up with, when he felt the throbbing pain in his chest. well, he felt it more. it was always there, really. sometimes it was dull and pulsating, or constant and irritating, like heartburn. and then sometimes it was like he was suffocating and getting shanked in the ribcage over and over again all at the same time. it took his breath away. that was the kind of pain he was in, at times, like now. clutching his chest, just above his heart, his eyes closed tight in agony as his breathing got heavy and shallow, each inhale bringing less and less in, each exhale sending more and more out, like the atmosphere around him was depleting. for all he knew, he could have been having a heart attack, because that's what it felt like to him, as he stood in the halls, no one else around. he knew he couldn't stay there long and let it pass though, not when he could have been seen all vulnerable and powerless.<p>

trying to stay calm, gideon bit his bottom lip tightly, almost too tightly, because he ended up piercing the skin, the blood slowly pooling around the wound. but it was enough to distract him, enough to bring him back to reality, and so he headed towards the nearest bathroom, slipping a bottle of pills out of his pocket as he got nearer. still no sign of anyone. with that reassurance, gideon entered the bathroom, unscrewing the lid, before bumping into someone and dropping the bottle, little white tablets spilled all over the place. <b>"damnit,"</b> he cussed under his breath, as to not bring attention to the accident, before kneeling down quick as a bunny to pick up the little tiny things. he hadn't even taken a second to look and see who he bumped into, he was too preoccupied with just getting caught with the pills. whoever it was though, he was hoping wouldn't notice what the pills were for. that, however, was unlikely, considering that just about everyone in the school was a druggie of some sort.
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parker was not someone who liked not being in class – he was the type of kid that would feel guilty for having a spare, which was no fault of his own, and obviously of the people that had made his time table, but of course, now he’d been wandering through the halls, trying to find himself something to do. he’d made another feeble attempt at his homework, but he knew that there was no way in hell that wasting another hour staring at a blank piece of paper would do him any good, so he figured that it would simply make more sense just to go out, get himself something to eat – and at least make some simple use of his time. of course, that was another one of parker’s problems, he tended to just wander around, never sure what he was supposed to do with his time. of course, he wished that somehow he could find something remarkable that he could do with his time that would really impress himself, but the fact of the matter was, it wasn’t going to happen. when parker left his dorm room, a sigh left his lips. not because he had been sad or anything, but it was just because he was still a little tired, and slightly over whelmed.<p>
of course, he headed into the cafeteria, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and something to drink for himself and he knew that he was going to have to eat something or he would end up getting annoyed in the middle of class, so he knew that it was going to have to happen on way or another. he took in a deep breath, as he ate, knowing that he was just going to spend the whole time awkwardly staring at people around the cafeteria. it didn’t help much that parker was extremely awkward, and would always find himself staring at the most awkward of moments. he bit down on his lower lip, his eyes catching on a bunch of people talking in a low voice. he ended up looking away after a few moment, really trying hard not to seem as though he had been staring at them the entire time, and of course, it didn’t take long to finish his pizza and look over his phone for texts. it was much more likely that one of his siblings would go to text him than anyone else, but that was okay with him, he loved talking to his siblings.<p>
of course, with parker not paying attention, he ended up knocking his drink over – and he was a little but thankful that he had been wearing a black shirt, so the dark soda really didn’t show – but of course, he knew that the needed to get into the bathroom and getting it cleaned off. he sighed as he left the cafeteria with the rest of his drink, and he went into the bathroom and started cleaning it off with paper towel. of course, right now, he was very much focused on making sure that got most of it out of his shirt. of course, the next thing he knew, with himself being distracted, he felt someone bump into him. “it’s okay.” he said, bending over to help him grab the spilled medication. “here,” he said with a small stutter.

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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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seeing the hand holding the pills out to him, gideon's eyes traveled up the rest of the body part, crawling over the forearm, along the bicep, across the shoulder, till the boy's face was the focus of his vision. pausing for a moment, gideon couldn't bring a name to the face, not knowing who he was. but he knew one thing for sure; the teenager was a cutie. the subtle pout of his lips, the stylized way he did his hair, the dark brown of his eyes. how gideon hadn't heard about the boy was a shock to him, but he wasn't going to let any opportunity slip by now. <b>"i didn't mean to bump into you like that,"</b> it was the closest thing gideon would ever get to an apology, though he said it with a believable amount of awkwardness and sincerity at the same time. and like a cat and a mouse, the games began. games that gideon was all too good at. games that he had been playing ever since he had arrived at this godforsaken school.<p>

standing up slowly, after taking the pills from the shorter boy, it was then that he felt the pain in his chest again, having been momentarily distracted by the bump, the pills falling, and then the boy in turn. feeling like a sword just went through his chest, gideon winced for a moment, just because it was unexpected, and he moved around the boy, bumping into him lightly as he made his way for the sink. he wasn't used to the pain, not like this, because he always relied on the pills to take care of it. so once he was at the sink, he started fiddling with the bottle again, having slipped all of the little white tablets back in. <b>"f-f-f..."</b> he held his tongue, if only for appearances sake, for the other boy, as he plopped three of the pills into his hand, throwing his head back and dropping them down his throat. turning on the sink next, he cupped his hands together before bringing his lips down to the pool of water that he held now. quickly, he slurped the water up, swallowing the pills with it.<p>

once the tablets had been ingested, gideon leaned into the sink, his hands bracing him and him up, the rest of his body slumping forward heavily, his breathing intensifying. he stood like this for quite a few long moments, waiting for the drugs to kick into affect, to break down in his stomach and flow through his bloodstream, up to his brain, to create that sensation of euphoria... and there it was. in another few moments, the pain slowly washed away, and gideon's breathing returned back to normal. pushing himself up off of the sink, gideon took in a deep breath and cracked his neck a few times, rolling it around on his shoulders. <b>"i'd appreciate it...,"</b> he paused for a second, before turning to face the other boy. <b>"if you didn't tell anyone about this."</b> the fact that he had showed such weakness in front of someone else made gideon want to beat the shit out of himself, but that was kind of hard, and he didn't want to try in front of someone else.
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parker just tried to smile at the boy as he made sure that he’d collected all of his pills from off the floor and from his hand, knowing that if he had found himself in this kind of a predicament, that he would find it endearing if someone were to help him get all of his things collected. considering that parker had been a total klutz, and he would find himself spilling his books out of his book bag on a weekly basis, and there were only a handful of people that wouldn’t just shrug and pass him by. not that he minded, because he knew that he would just end up stammering nervously and running off all flushed and nervous – which was nothing new for him. he bit down on his lower lip, looking down at his shirt to make sure that the damage that he had done to his shirt wasn’t too noticeable for anyone else when he planned on leaving the bathroom and trying to find himself back into his dorm – maybe he would have time to change, that would be a blessing in disguise.<P>
right now he was just making sure that everything was okay here, that the boy standing in front of him had all of his arrangements sorted out. of course, he watched the boy, standing over the sink as he took his medication. he looked rather in pain. parker’s lips pouted out a little bit, knowing that his face was likely lined with worry right now. there weren’t too many more warning signs than that, but the boy had been looking as though he was rather in pain. but of course, parker had no idea how to react, so he just stood there, almost staring absent mindedly, even though he knew that he couldn’t come up with what to say had this been a normal conversation, but at this point. he was almost frozen as he tried to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do right now. he knew that his anxiety was beginning to kick in, and the next thing he knew, he was looking down at the floor, trying to mentally figure out what the hell he was supposed to be doing with himself. knowing him, though, he would say nothing until the older male spoke, but he did want to know if he was going to be all right.<P>
the moment that the older male spoke, he blushed hot, looking down at the floor before he looked up again. “y… you don’t have to w… worry about that.” he said, despite being embarrassed by the stutter that he had since he was six or seven years old. “i am a… awkward, so i don’t think i will e… even remember this.” he said, shrugging his shoulders casually. he knew that it was the truth. when he was in a conversation, he was more focused on just getting words out, rather than making an attempt to spill other people’s dirty little secrets. he smiled softly, despite still being rather concerned for the boy, but he knew that there wasn’t much that he could do about it now, except for stay for a couple of minutes of that he didn’t fall to the floor. “b… but you’re okay, right?”

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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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gideon was too distracted with the pain to realize that the other boy was staring, though in the back of his mind he assumed that he did stay, if only to figure out what was wrong with the cancer patient. whether his intentions were good or bad, gideon would find out, and deal with it accordingly. the last thing he wanted was for this to get out, and around the school, though he was already making preparations in his mind if the boy did decide to tell; he was having severe cases of heartburn that he went to the doctors and got pills for. it was completely logical and realistic, and gideon was more than a good enough liar to pull it off. so, in the end, he wasn't worried about what the younger boy was going to do, though he'd just rather not have to deal with all that, avoid the trouble so to speak. but he would handle it in a second, just as soon as he got over the aftershocks of the pure, hindering, unadulterated pain.<p>

shaking his head and breathing heavily, in took a few moments for gideon to regain his composure before he could turn to the other eighteen year old and make that request of him. almost immediately, the kid looked downward, a blush coming across his face as he answered, stating that gideon didn't have to worry about that. the stuttering was rather noticeable, though it was also rather endearing, in gideon's opinion. it was adorable, but that's not what drew him in the most when it came to that. considering the shy, awkward nature of the boy, and his stutter, and the fact that he blushed when gideon simply talked to him, gidders made a rather large assumption, though it was one he had guessed many times about many people, and he was almost always right. he figured the boy was a virgin, and that piqued his interests even more so than anything else he knew about the boy so far. virgins were kind of his calling card, almost; hence why he was secretly dubbed the "virginity thief".<p>

hearing the dark-haired boy admit his own awkwardness was interesting, not many people were willing to say things like that about themselves. <b>"oh, well, like i said, i appreciate it."</b> he spoke genuinely, because he really did appreciate it, even if he was already planning on showing his appreciation in a sexual way. gideon flashed a charming grin after speaking, before holding out his hand for introductions. <b>"my name's gideon cooper."</b> his voice was filled to the brim with confidence and charisma, two characteristics that gideon possessed all of the time. <b>"you?"</b> he raised an eyebrow curiously, wishing to know the younger male's name, even if his reasons weren't exactly the most pure or innocent. gideon wasn't known for his purity or innocence, that was for sure. but "virgin hunting" was one of his most favorite things since having come to st. jude's, after having been diagnosed with cancer. it was right up there with just plain old sex.
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parker was surprised sometimes by other people. maybe it was because sometimes he was so odd and strange, that he didn’t get the chance to learn about how other people worked, because he was constantly too scared to socialize and learn about them as a whole – and it ended up making things all the more difficult for him. but he knew that he needed to start getting out there and being more, what other people would call “normal” – but he knew that would be some of the most difficult things that he’d ever have to do. biting down on his lower lip, he just watched the older male, knowing that he would feel like the most awful person if he just left him when he looked as though he was going to throw up or something. parker knew that he had at least somewhat enough social skills to at least try and help him out. standing there quietly, he just watched until he had some kind of a sign, a signal that everything would be okay so that he could go.<p>
parker couldn’t keep his eyes from the boy, however, mostly because he looked like crap, and parker knew that he had this need to stay when he thought that someone might need help. even though he had a hard time talking to people, when people did get past his shy, awkward demeanour – they would often find out that he’s very caring – and that he doesn’t like people being un-happy, espectially when he’s involved, because parker knew that he would take every inch of criticism as person and it would completely end up making him upset and would regress away from the person who made the critisicm about him. letting out a soft sigh, he bit down on his lower lip, and running his fingers through his dark curly hair, he really just wished that he could me more in tune with other people, and know when things were ‘appropriate’ and when things just weren’t. parker smiled again at him, just hoping to god that the other wasn’t finding him to be annoying as hell, which was another problem that parker seemed to come across.<p>
of course, the moment that the older boy’s hand extended to parker’s, he knew that he was going to have to try and not be so shy and awkward, and of course, he grabbed his hand, shaking it gently. of course, to parker, it wasn’t apparent at the time that he had still been blushing little hell, but that was just because he was so nervous right now. “hi gideon,” he said with another small smile. “i am parker… parker foxxe” he said as he nodded his head again, and naturally moving his hand, knowing that he’d been working on timing and whatnot with his therapist. parker was now realizing that he was blushing even more, and get was actually starting to embarrass himself, or so he thought. “well.. i am just… just glad you’re okay.” he said with another wide smile.

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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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gideon was a people person; always had been, probably always would be. before his diagnosis, he lived in san antonio, texas, and he was basically the ruler of the school, in his high school. he was the quarterback and captain of the football team, the prom king, the president of the sports club, a swim-team member, etc. and all of that required a certain finesse when dealing with people. he was good at a lot of things, when it came to socializing; he was good at manipulation, seduction, and charm, those were his main calling cards, though he could do more than that, like lie (obviously), feign interest, suck-up, etc. and then, whenever that didn't work, intimidation was always the next step, if you had something he wanted. and if that didn't work, then a good old fashion ass-kicking was always in the cards, pretty much, when it came to gideon. he had no reservations with beating people up, sadly; he was part of a fight club that promoted it practically, not too mention he was the "brute force" for a gang called the "lost boys" here at the school, where his role was basically that of a glorified bodyguard.<p>

the cancer patient, however, didn't think it would be necessary to beat the shit out of parker, anyway. for one, he didn't beat people up for withholding sex; that was just petty and pathetic. for two, he <i>always</i> got sex with his natural charisma and seductiveness anyway. he never needed to rely on intimidation or force, and if they did ward off his efforts, he'd just kept trying. he was persistent like that. as far as parker went though, he figured that the boy wasn't all that self-assured or confident, and those were the ones who were usually willing to give it up the quickest, mostly because they fell for people easily, got attached, things like that. and things like that just made his job ten times easier, as the so called "virginity thief". he didn't think there was anything wrong with that; he wasn't hurting anyone, it wasn't his fault they got attached. he was just looking to satisfy a very, very fun need, and he made sure his partner, whoever he or she was, had their needs satisfied as well. he wasn't <i>that</i> selfish.<p>

feeling the gentle grasp of the other boy's hand, gideon shook his hand, and smiled smoothly. just from the way the shorter boy grasped his hand he could tell that he was a shy kind of guy, which meant this would require a bit of delicate touch or suave action. and then, of course, there was the outrageous amount of blushing he was doing, as if that wasn't a dead giveaway. <b>"it's nice to meet you parker foxxe."</b> his deep tone reverberated, solid and strong. if it was possible, the boy blushed even more, when he took his hand away, and gideon raised an eyebrow in curiosity. was he really this embarrassed and shy? hearing the next comment, gideon chuckled softly to himself, playing bashful a little bit as he looked down at the ground for a moment. <b>"yeah, me too."</b> he looked up, slipping his hands into his pockets as he did so. <b>"is this your first year here? at st. jude's?"</b> it was the "getting to know you" phase in the plan, the suck-up stage, though gideon always remembered the answers anyway. as much of an asshole as he was, he was a caring one, even if he didn't show it.
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parker didn’t exactly have much of a simple life, despite not being able to remember it – from ages one to four, he’d been neglected by his parents. he’d been starved, bruised, upset and anti-social. of course, when he found himself in the foster care system, no one seemed to know what was wrong with him, but they all seemed to believe that the boy would just simply get over the fact that he didn’t want to talk to anyone that had tried to talk with him, or that he was so shy most of the time that people found it hard to talk to him. of course, they saw a change with him when he was adopted, he actually got very much attached to his family, to the point where they thought that there was some kind of an improvement, of course, the next thing that they all knew, that he was coming home crying because people were mean to him, that he would get upset when someone criticized him – and that’s when they started to take him to therapists, several of them, before they got into a diagnosis for him and got him into therapy. <p>
even though parker had been very apprehensive about going into therapy, it did seem to help him, more than anything else in the world. sure, he still felt as though he was never going to be okay. it was hard for him to think about the idea of not being normal, even though he was getting a little bit better – especially now that he was in an extensive one-on-one sessions with his ‘special education’ program, things seemed to be all the more better. taking in a deep breath, he knew that he just wanted to make sure that things would end up being okay. the man that had been standing there in front of him seemed as though eh was rather nice, even though he was pretty sure that he was probably going to think that he was a complete and total freak, but in the same sense, parker believed that was something that he could eventually get used to, and that he couldn’t just get upset all of the time ever since something didn’t quite go his way, but he did know that he was going to carry this conversation out, because he didn’t want the other person to have a negative perception of him.<p>
of course, right now, parker had been very aware of what had been going on right now, he knew that he was completely and toally blushing up a storm right now, and it was likely that he looked completely and totally stupid. he bit down on his lower lip again, watching him for a moment, just knowing that he really needed to stay calm for everything to go smoothly with the older male. parker was very aware of his surroundings, and he knew how easy it was to make a situation so very wrong in his head, but he just wanted things to be okay, so he knew how careful he had to be when he spoke to the older male, because he knew that one word could mean pretty much everything. “it’s… it’s nice to meet you too.” he said softly, taking in a deep breath, watching him for a moment, his teeth now digging into his lower lip. “no…. i have been here since my sophomore… sophomore year.” he said with a small smile, taking in another deep breath, trying to know how he was supposed to make this all the more less awkward. “w… what about you?” he whispered shyly.


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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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gideon grew up privileged and popular, to say the least. he was son to a schoolteacher and a businessman, so he was rather rich and spoiled, the favorite child, the golden child, though that wasn't the reason he acted the way he did today. back then, he was at the top of the food chain in his school; captain and quarterback of the football team, prom king, member of the ymca swim-team, and president of the sports club, among other things. and the fact that he was being scouted by big-name colleges only added to his rather cliche and utopian childhood. basically, he was living the dream, literally, back then. that was until the cancer took everything away from him. just three months ago he was the happiest kid in the world, sweeping through the ranks in some state-wide high school football tournament, and now he was standing here in a bathroom of some probably soon-to-be insane asylum, holding pills in his hand and talking to a stuttering eighteen year old.<p>

not that he was complaining about the stuttering eighteen year old part. well, the old him would have been complaining, but the new him found the younger boy cute, his stutter kind of endearing, if not a little annoying. but the little twitches in his lips and mouth, when he stuttered, turned the dominant personality in gideon on more than he thought it would, and that just drove him wild, wanted him to get to "know" the virgin even more. as a person, gideon really couldn't care less what the boy was like. or, rather, gidders didn't think it was necessary to find out. like most of the kids at st. jude's, he was probably a whiny, low self-esteemed, unconfident mess, and people like that, people who almost always complained about their problems and their lives, they were the ones who drove gideon to anger the quickest and easiest. the ones who really had nothing to complain about. or atleast, nothing compared to what he had to deal with, and yet he never complained.<p>

gideon hadn't known it was possible to blush as much as parker was blushing right now, and that just went along to help prove his theory that the boy was a virgin. no one who had had sex blushed that badly, in gidders' experience. watching the boy bite his lower lip just made gideon want to bite it for him, but obviously he couldn't jump the kids' bones right now; he wasn't that sadistic, unlike some people he knew. instead, gideon just smiled, a half-cocked, warm smile in reply to parker's apparent gladness at their meeting. hearing the boy answering his question, he nodded slowly. sophomore year, gideon was back in san antonio, having already obtained the title of captain and position of quarterback on the football team. <b>"me? this is my first year here, actually."</b> he admitted freely as he moved on over to lean against one of the sinks. he was sure the boy wouldn't leave, at this point. <b>"you don't have to be so nervous, parker. i'm not gonna bite."</b> he grinned devilishly. not yet, atleast.
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a lot of people just didn’t understand why parker could hardly form proper sentences in front of most people, why he’d spent most of his life upset when someone would criticise who he was, and he just couldn’t understand why he would get so damn upset about everything that had happened with him,. but he really did want to get better, and that was something that he knew. of course, he didn’t have all that much improvement, despite his one on one saying that he was a lot better than he was before – of course, parker had a hunch that he understood his disease enough to work around the negatives about the boy, and that was something that parker was smart enough to figure out. he knew that he just needed to suck it up sometimes, and try his hardest to not stutter and stammer over everything that he said, and that things would be better than he thought. biting down on his lower lip softly, he watching the older male, trying hard to keep his composure and just hope that everything was okay, with him and with gideon- because even though it wasn’t quite showing right now through his blushes and stammers, parker still hoped that he was all right.<p>
parker likely had the best family in the world, and he wasn’t talking about the parents, his biological ones, that had ended up choosing drugs over him. he was talking about the foxxe’s, his real family who had really tried to be there for parker through some of his most difficult times. parker knew that he was a bit of a handful, but at the end of the day, he knew that his family had loved him more than anything in the world, and that was something that was very much okay with him. he was curious about what gideon had been like, because by just looking at him, he could tell that the older boy had been charming as hell, and that was very much intimidating for parker, because that was something that parker wanted to be – he wanted to be able to be charming and comfortable, not the mess that parker had been right now.<p>
of course, knowing that he just wanted to aspire to be something like gideon, he knew that right now he had still been a blushing and a stammering mess, and he could feel the boys eyes on him right now, and he just didn’t know what to think right now. in his head, he knew that he was just hoping that the older male didn’t find him to be annoying and end up hating him, because he knew that he couldn’t handle something like that happening to him, so he was just going to avoid thinking about all of the negative things that could be running through the boy’s head. he looked up at him for a moment, his eyes wide, and him telling him that he didn’t need to be so nervous, well, it actually made him more nervous, if that was even possible, and now, all he could feel was his cheeks burning. “do you like it here?” he asked, managing to get those few words out without a stammer. “m.. my shyness is kinda why i am here…” he said nervously, his gaze lowering, paranoid that the older boy was judging him.



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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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when it came to gideon and his interactions with people, he was a bit of a liar. he'd tell you he didn't give a shit what you'd say about him, but that was a lie, as his ultimate goal was to become as popular as he once was when he used to live in san antonio. and obviously that meant he cared about others' opinions of him. but again, he would never admit to that, even though his every action was in reaction to that particular goal of his. and then, naturally, he'd tell you he really didn't give a shit about anyone in this pathetic place. and yet again, that would be a lie, almost. truth was, he did feel a lot of things about the populace of st. jude's, though whether they were good or bad thoughts depended on the question. en masse, he pretty much hated everyone here. but there were a few who stuck out, who might possibly be considered more than just tools to be used, or bodies to fuck. one of those people, for instance, was his good friend aiden shaw. and then there was hollis, though the two of them spent a lot of time fucking anyway. and there was jackers, as well.<p>

it was possible for gideon to care about people, contrary to popular belief. it was, however, practically impossible to get him to admit it, or show it in any way what-so-ever. the only time he showed any ounce of care was when he was trying to seduce someone, and most of the time, that was all an act. like now, with parker. he'd just met the boy and he was already trying to bed him. but that was only because, a) he was a virgin and virgins were fun, if only because they were just that much more <i>tighter</i>. b) he really was a cutie. and c) it was easy, simple, and fun. he'd done this many times before, taken a lot of people's virginities here at st. jude's, and parker was just another number to him. ofcourse, that wasn't to say gidders hated the boy, not by any means. atleast, not yet. he barely knew him, but he figured he was just like the rest, all weak and vulnerable and unconfident, all things gideon didn't want to be, and so he did things like this. he needed to feel like the top, the dominant one, in every sense of the word, in all ways that it implied.<p>

gideon wondered what was going on through the dark-haired boy's mind, what he was thinking about gideon, about this situation, about what might happen between the two of them, if anything. well, gideon knew something was going to happen. no one really turned him down; he was practically an expert at this sort of thing, able to do it on the flip of a dime, at any time. and considering how socially awkward parker was, he doubted that the boy would be able to resist his charm. <b>"it's... interesting,"</b> he shrugged for a moment. truth was, he hated st. jude's, but he was stuck here either way. <b>"i like the people, they're fun. who do you hang out with?"</b> another tactic, trying to get to know parker through his possible friends and connections, assuming the boy had any. hearing that his shyness was his reason for being here, gideon gave him a fake but convincing reassuring smile. <b>"well, i'm sure you've gotten better since two years ago. you're doing a great job now as it is."</b> now gideon was sucking up, trying to loosen the boy up, trying to seem supportive and friendly, and he did.
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there wre a lot of things that had been going through his mind, and he really didn’t know what he was going to do or say. most of the time, when he got himself into a situation of any kind, must of the time, all he wanted to do was to run away from it. not that he was afraid or anything, but the thing was, he was so scared of other people judging him that the first thing that he set out to do in his mind had been to try and avoid that kind of judgment. he didn’t know what he was supposed to say or so right now, and he really wished that he had some kind of a clue, something that would make him a little less terrified of the situation at hand. he didn’t want to be so odd and strange, but he knew that he couldn’t exactly help it, and so, he knew that he would have to just try and get more confident in the kind of situations that he’d gotten himself in, just like jamie had tried to remind him to do.<p>
parker didn’t care about being paker, or any of those things, most of the time he really just wanted to make it through like day and he knew that there was a lot of things that made it hard for him to just make it. but he did it a lot of the time, and that was something that had made him proud to be himself. parker, however, knew that he might have been making himself out to be more than a loser than he probably had been at st. judes, but he knew that he really didn’t care as long as no one was trying to judge him, or change him – and that was something that he needed to focus on. he smiled a little bit, trying to be a little re-assuring of just the little bit of confidence that he might have had left, and he knew that the older boy was going to end up seeing right through him right now. taking in a deep breath, he ran his fingers through his dark hair slowly, smiling again because he knew that was pretty sure that it was the only thing that he had right now to give to the conversation at this point in time.<p>
parker took in another deep breath, watching him for a moment, nodding his head. “y… yeah… st. judes is v… very interesting.” he said as he nodded his head. sure, parker really didn’t have a lot of friends here, but he really didn’t care, because a lot of the time, he knew that he preferred to be on his own more than anything else in the world, so it wasn’t something that was all that bad in his head. but parker knew that the moment that he mentioned that, that he was going to probably be deemed the biggest loser in the world by this older boy. but at the time, he knew that he wouldn’t he bothered about it until the older boy would be vocal about his criticisms about parker. “i… i don’t really h… have a… a lot of friends.” he said as he shrugged his shoulders gently. he didn’t want to get into the fact that he only really seemed to hang out with his family most of the time, and he really didn’t have anyone else besides his therapist, of course, something like that had been okay with him in general, but he knew that he could be offered a lot of criticism. “well… thank you…” he said softly as he took in a deep breath, another blush on his cheeks. god, he was embarrassing.




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[/dohtml]

[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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gideon thought about many things on a daily basis. a lot of it was about sex, like, "who am i going to fuck today?" and "i wonder if i can find any more virgins". he'd imagine elaborate sessions with his regular fuckbuddies like jackson, hollers, etc. or he'd think about what it would be like to top saul ainley, or maybe what it would be like to sleep with some of the uptight prudes like matthew lawson. when he wasn't thinking about sex, however, he was coming up with plans and strategies to forward his goal; who to hang out with, what to do, etc. then, when he wasn't mulling that over, he was bitching about all of the whiny crazies here at st. jude's. and then, ofcourse, there was the cancer. the cancer was always on his mind, like a leech on the surface of his skin, slowly sucking him dry. he always wondered, "is today the day i die?" would the cancer have eroded away at his heart and lungs enough to make them nonfunctional? or would he die from a heart attack, or aneurysm, or stroke, or any number of complications?<p>

truth be told, gidders really, really didn't want to die. as much as he hated st. jude's, and most of the people there, he wanted to live, to thrive, to survive. he wanted to be a star again, to get back what he lost, to fight his cancer and win. more importantly, he wanted his parents back. they may not have loved him enough to stay, or loved him like real parents should love a child, instead loving him for his abilities and skills, but their love was something he deeply missed, even though he would never admit that to anyone. it had left a hole in his chest, a hole like the cancer was leaving, and it was one that only they could fill, he thought. no one at this school understood what he went through on a daily basis, the pain, the worry, the fear that he might not wake up tomorrow, or that his first step on the staircase might be his last, or that he would never get to experience the joys of pleasure, of someone just touching him, or of the simple things, like nice, warm baths, or cotton candy, or the feeling of running his hand through his hair.<p>

hearing parker talk was enough to bring him out of his reverie, out of those deep, personal thoughts that he thought about all the time, that no one else knew. the fact that parker agreed with him was a good sign already. <b>"what's your favorite part of st. jude's?"</b> it was a random question, sure, but he was trying to get to know the younger male, and so it was still an important one. gideon's answer to that question was, ofcourse, the sex, but he wouldn't let parker in on that little detail obviously. hearing that the dark-haired boy didn't really have a lot of friends, gideon put on a fake frown, sympathetic to parker's situation. <b>"well, i think we could be friends, if you wanted."</b> his frown turned upside down into a warm and inviting smile, despite the fact that he was inwardly shaking his head. <b>"your welcome, it's true."</b> the manipulative boy said in reply to the others' thanks. his tone was lighthearted and genuine, though gideon himself wasn't very genuine; he just knew how to act so.
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parker tried not to think about things a lot of the time, because he knew that a lot of the time, it would end up with him being a complete and total worry wart most of the time – and that was something that he wanted to avoid. the fact that he had a bit of a lack of a social life, he knew that it was a little bit harder for his mind to not get ahead of him. parker ran his fingers through his hair slowly, knowing that right now, all he wanted was for him to be happy. parker wished that he could be more social sometimes, that he could just go up to a stranger… kind of like this, and have a normal and functioning conversation that didn’t leave him stammering and stuttering all of the time. he knew that it had been a little bit pathetic, and he knew that gideon was beginning to notice that. of course, he definitely wouldn’t find it very cool that he would mostly spend his free time talking with his family, or wanting to hang out with his speech therapist – who was significantly older than him – but he really didn’t care about that.<p>
he didn’t know how to be normal, in the sense of most therapists he had been forced to see – but he knew that sometimes he would try to be, even though his social awkwardness would normally get in the way of even attempting something like that. but he knew that he would still try, even though he was terrified of being judged by someone else, at the same time, he knew that he just wanted to try and be normal. yes, he knew that sometimes that he would be able to try – but that’s mostly because he’s been getting help since he’d first come to st. judes, and despite he hasn’t been “cured” like his parents might have expected, but no one could really deny that he hadn’t made any progress. he took in another deep breath, looking around for a moment. he was just waiting for the boy to point out his lack of an ability to keep eye contact with him, but he just … tried to think about things that were “normal” and he knew that he would be okay, that maybe, just maybe, he wondered what really was going through the other’s head, even though he was a little bit frightened to really find out.<p>
the moment that parker finally spoke up, he was almost at a loss of words for what to say to him, so what left his lips was a stammered, “m… my favourite part of st. judes?” he said, almost as though he was confused, which he wasn’t. parker was pretty intelligent when you got to know him. sure, he had his weak points, just like everyone else did – but parker just figured that his flaws just so happened to show more than others did. “the people are p…pretty nice… even though i don’t talk much. but… um… i really like my s…speech therapist.” he said with a small smile, nodding his head. his eyes tended to light up when he talked about jamie, he didn’t quite know why, but that was just how it was, the older male made parker very happy. “y… yeah, i would like that very much.” he said as he nodded his head. what people didn’t know, was that parker wanted friends… he just didn’t know how to approach situations, which made it difficult for him to make them. parker blushed again, feeling his cheeks grow hot again. “y… you seem nice.” he smiled, even though he was a little embarrassed.





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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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despite the fact that gideon was a people person, he didn't actually like the majority of the human population, let alone the kids at st. jude's. during his short tenure here so far, there were only a handful of people he could stand to be around for long periods of time when he wasn't fucking them and they were aiden shaw, hollis soucy, warren fitzgerald, saul ainley, jackson porter, and maybe one or two more. besides those five though, he couldn't really find himself to give a shit about anyone else here so far. and even then, saul and him weren't exactly bff's; saul secretly intimidated him, to be honest, though he would never say such a thing. the only one out of those five that he really gave a real shit about though was aiden, in the end. they were partners-in-crime, doing pretty much anything and everything together, and it suited gideon just fine. plus, aiden was just the type of person gidders could be around; narcissistic. hot as hell. not whiny.<p>

the former captain's opinion of parker thus far wasn't that bad, though they'd only spoken maybe five or ten minutes. it surely helped that the boy was rather cute and innocent, two traits that attracted gideon in the most primal sense. the stuttering helped draw that dominant and lustful personality out of the older boy as well, despite the fact that it was somewhat annoying after awhile. the fact that he didn't really have a lot of friends would work out well for the cancer-ridden eighteen year old as well; that just meant there wouldn't be as much fall-out or overprotective people to try and get back at him when parker would eventually find out that it was just a game, a fun little game, for gidders. the fact that that's what he thought it was was rather intriguing. not three months ago, he would have befriended the other boy, would have taken him under his wing even, tried to help him with his stutter. but that was then and this was now, and he'd gone through things that had obviously changed him for the worst.<p>

gideon was rather curious as to how parker would answer the question; st. jude's wasn't the greatest place, and he was sure he wasn't the only one who realized that. hearing though that the people were his favorite part, possibly, gideon raised a curious eyebrow. what interested him more, however, was the speech therapist part. gideon was obligated (read: forced) to see a therapist himself, though he hadn't admitted a single thing to the man yet. <b>"whose your speech therapist? maybe we have the same one... well, i don't go for speech,"</b> he played awkward and bashful just as well, laughing sheepishly and looking at the floor for a moment before raising his head to the younger boy and awaiting an answer. <b>"i'm glad. what do you like to do for fun?"</b> he was getting to know his new "friend", bit by bit. the fact that parker called gidders nice, however, made the latter boy laugh in his own head. no one would describe him in that way. <b>"thanks, i try my best."</b> he smiled enchantingly.
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parker was admittedly very interested in the older male, and he didn’t quite know why. most of the time, he ran at the sight of another human being – but maybe it was because he seemed as though he was interested in talking to him, and not actually judging him. well, parker knew that he was probably judging him right now, but because it wasn’t something that he quite noticed right now, it didn’t really affect him too much – but he knew that right now, he was enjoying talking to him (despite parker’s awareness of the fact that he probably looked stupid in the boy’s eyes). he took in a deep breath, knowing that he was just trying to figure the person out that had been standing in front of him, maybe to figure out what had been wrong with him, would be something that he could think about in his mind. he bit down on his lower lip, taking in another shaken and deep breath.<p>
parker wished that he could count some real friends that he had oin his fingers – but he really couldn’t. he was pretty much a social outcast because he could barely forma normal conversation, never mind trying to actually make friends from a conversation. this was why he was finding it rather strange that this boy, who was seemingly older than him, just wanted to stick around and talk, he looked like the type that would hang around with the ‘cool and popular’ at st. jude’s and that was somewhere where parker would never be, even though he wanted to be. running his fingers through his hair, his own timer beeped, and he remember that he needed to take his own medication. he pulled the bottle of pills, and tapped one out, quickly taking it, stuffing the bottle into the bag as though nothing happened. he really was ashamed of the fact that he was so medicated, but then he realized that most people at st. jude’s were, and it was really nothing to be ashamed about, even though that was just something that parker believed.<p>
st. jude’s was a hell of a lot better than his old high school, but then again – his old school was hard for him. people would make fun of him, and it would just end with him crying his eyes out and running home. he hated it there more than anything. st. jude’s was at least trying to help him with his problems, and that was something that was good in his mind. “jamie reynolds? he’s really nice…” he said with a warm smile, parker in general was just happy talking about the older male… but that was simply because he felt as though he has someone that understood him fully. “i read a lot. it’s one of the only things that i am really good at … s… so i spend most of my time in the library.” he said, nodding his head with another smile. “it’s.. it’s no problem.”






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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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when it came to friends, gideon had maybe one real one, and the rest of his relationships were just enemies or fuckbuddies. that one boy was aiden shaw, his partner-in-crime of sorts. the two played off of each other so well, though deep down gidders wondered what the two were willing to do for each other. the former texan was racking up enemies quick, and thus he wasn't sure whether aiden would stay by his side in the end or not, especially since he had plans that might ruin his own relations with the gang they were a part of, the lost boys. though you would never be able to get him to admit it, gideon was glad to have aiden, if only because he was reliable and loyal thus far. the two did a lot of things together, from scheming and plotting to the lost boys' activities to even sleeping together. ofcourse, the latter had only happened once, but it hadn't changed their relationship yet, which was something gideon enjoyed greatly about their friendship. he knew that if (when) he slept with parker, it would change how the boy felt.<p>

other than aiden though, there was no one else really. warren was too stuck up saul's butt to care, and saul was too sadistic and cruel. then there was jackson, but the boy wasn't "strong" enough compared to some of gideon's possibly soon-to-be enemies, like warren and saul. and hollis just wasn't in the whole thick-of-it at all to really care. luckily, gideon was distracted from these discomforting thoughts when he noticed parker pulling out a bottle of pills after hearing a beep. it wasn't odd for st. jude's kids to have pills, so gideon didn't really pay it any mind, though he was curious as to what kind they were. his assumption was maybe something for the younger male's anxiety, though he obviously couldn't tell by the bottle alone. he took drugs from time-to-time, but usually it was weed or sometimes stronger stuff like cocaine, acid once even. but pills weren't his thing, except for his own pain pills and his various medications for the cancer.<p>

besides his pain pills, he took medication for his tumors, though it never really helped from what he could tell. but he was willing to take them either way. all of his medicine came through his doctor and the san francisco medical center, which he was grateful for; it just removed a possible paper trail if he'd gotten his medication through the school or something. <b>"reynolds? yeah, he's my therapist too. not that i need a therapist, really."</b> his tone was tired and flippant; he really didn't believe he needed one, honestly. <b>"but yeah, he's okay i guess. i don't really go that often."</b> this was followed by a slight, guilty laugh, his eyes avoiding parker's for the moment as he played bashful again. hearing that the boy liked reading, he nodded slowly. he wasn't a big reader. <b>"what do you like to read?"</b> it was an obvious question, but the only one he could think of when it came to books, for the moment.
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parker thought that when someone talked to him, it was considered for him to be admirable for that person to want to talk to him. sometimes, parker believed that people would talk to him out of pity. he’d heard his name sometimes being passed around – he was normally just “that weird shy kid”. a lot of the time when those kinds of words were passed around – it made him feel absolutely horrible. most of the time, he found himself crying over it. he didn’t know how else to handle it. it’s how it had been since he was a kid. but he believed that it was a lot better than it had used to be. he didn’t have anxiety attacks anymore when someone had something bad about him, which in his opinion, that was something that was very good. when he felt like he could be around someone’s criticisms without completely fraking out, he knew that was something that was good.<p>
however, it never stopped him from believing that people felt sorry for him. it wasn’t too much to think about. he was that kid who really didn’t have any kind of real friends, and he spent most of his time in the library looking at books. it was hard for him to believe that people would really want to talk to someone like him. but that was probably because mentally he was not really socially inept like everyone else had been. but he knew that he had been trying, likely more than anyone else. he’d been working so hard on the stuttering and the stammering, which was something that he never thought that he would end up getting over – but the more and more that he would start to work with jamie, then the better he had been getting, and that was something that was really important to him.<p>
parker smiled again at him, a blush still crossing his cheeks. he never really believed that he would be able to talk to someone like gideon cooper, and that was something that he knew for a fact. parker knew though that this boy was being nice to him, and that he shouldn’t be so quick to shut him down, just because it was something that was out of norm that had been happening to him. “really? i really like him… he’s really sweet.” he said with a small smile. he always had this complete and total soft spot for the older male that he just couldn’t shake. “w… well if it helps… he’s j… just someone that’s r…really nice to talk to.” he said with a wide smile, running his fingers through his dark hair slowly. he really believed that this conversation had been going much better than it had been from the start, and that was just something that was slowly becoming more and more obvious. “um… i read pretty much e…everything. i love the classics… and um… murder mystery novels are r…really great too.”





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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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gideon interacted with a lot of people, whether in a sexual way or not. there were of course his regular fuckbuddies like jackson porter and hollis soucy and lukas stilton, all of whom he sought out on a fairly regular basis. then there was aiden shaw, who was basically in a whole category of his own as compared to the rest of the people gidders knew. and then there were people from the gang and the fight club, like warren fitzgerald and saul ainley. the only thing in common all of them had was the fact that gideon created little plots and schemes with or for or against them all; holden alexander was an example of that. said milton senior had been at the top of the popular food chain recently, until the eighteen year old cancer patient brought him down quite a few levels after outing him to the grapevine. obviously parker hadn't heard about that though, or else he wouldn't have opened up so easily to him, which gideon was grateful for at the moment.<p>

thanks to said article gideon's name was filling the halls, a feeling that he reveled in more so than any other. but obviously it wasn't enough; parker didn't know who he was, which meant that other people might not as well. or maybe not that many people read the grapevine at all, so nobody really cared or heard about him either way? all of it just drove gideon further to wanting to spread chaos, as that was the only way he could rise to the top now. sports weren't an option; the tumors on his lungs often incapacitated his ability to breath. though it wasn't bad enough to effect his everyday breathing, whenever he engaged in overtly rigorous activities like football or soccer or swimming or fighting in the fight club, the tumor pressed against his lungs and chest, like an airbag filling, creating pressure and crushing said lungs. thus, he couldn't regulate air or breath effectively at all. which meant he didn't have a lot of endurance, really.<p>

the way parker talked about the therapist intrigued gideon greatly, an inquisitive eyebrow raising on his head. he was a very perceptive person; he had to be, with what he did and how he worked, how he manipulated people, so he had to catch onto these little details, to learn more about who he was talking to and dealing with. <b>"you really like mr. reynolds, huh?"</b> it was an innocent enough question, though the subtext, in gidders' mind, was something along the lines of parker liking him maybe more than a student should like a faculty member. hearing about parker's feelings towards the therapist was a lot more interesting than hearing about his hobby for reading, but gideon couldn't outright say that, so he listened intently. classics? the worst kind of reading material, in the cancer patient's opinion. <b>"so you like to read older stuff? like jane austen and mark twain?"</b> they were two popular names in literature, and that was the <i>only</i> reason gideon was able to recall them.
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the more time that he would spend time with gideon, the more that he realized how attractive that he had been. most of the time, parker didn’t think about liking other people, because it made him anxious and nervous. but thinking about being close with him, it had actually made him feel something, and it was strange. he took in a deep breath, hoping that the older male wasn’t seeing right through him and realizing that he’d found him cute. parker really never thought about other people that way, but that was because he knew that he had never had a chance with any of the people that he found cute or anything, which was why he ended up retracting and not really talking or acknowledging anyone. parker however, right now, was blushing like hell, and he knew that gideon was a lot more socially availiable than he would ever be, and he would likely realize that’s what parker meant, and that it wasn’t just extreme social awkwardness.<p>
right now, parker was just trying to be normal around the boy. it was strange for him to actually be able to talk to someone. he smiled at him for a moment, running his fingers through his dark hair gently. right now, parker was just looking for an excuse to talk. most people didn’t know this about parker, but just because he was socially awkward and had extreme anxiety about talking to people … he craved it. the moment that he found someone that have him the attention that he needed and he would be the one that would latch onto them, and he would be the one that would want to be around them. the moment that you catch his attention and trust, then that was something that a person would have forever. parker ran his fingers through his hair again, keeping his eyes locked on him as he continued to try and figure out what he was supposed to say next without making himself seem like a total idiot.<p>
“yeah… he’s amazing…” he said with a small smile, his glance lowering a little bit and he didn’t mean for it to happen, but he ended up blushing a little bit when he talked about jamie, and he tried to fioght it, but he knew that something like that wasn’t going to happen, so he just figured that it would be a good idea to talk or something to distract the other from the fact that his cheeks were likely so red right now. he took in another deep breath, which was slightly shaky, because he didn’t know what he was supposed to say right now, but following his next question, he knew that he could finally pull himself together. “um… it depends on my mood… b… but i will pretty much read anything… i just… just love reading.” he smiled.






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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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one thing that gideon didn't quite know about parker was the reason as to <i>why</i> he constantly blushed. while he knew the younger male had social anxiety and got extremely nervous around other people, it felt like maybe more than that. like, just maybe, the boy was already developing a crush on the cancer patient? or he atleast found him attractive, but that was no big surprise. gideon knew for a fact that he was one of the finest looking dudes on campus, and he wasn't afraid to admit it or flaunt it, so it was completely believable that parker here had fallen for his looks as well. and that only meant one thing to gideon, really; it would make his job a whole-hell-of-a-lot easier now, if parker really was attracted to him. that job, of course, being to get into the virgin's tight little pants. or, more accurately, other tighter areas. the thought of it all sent a shiver of excitement up his spine and back down again, invading other areas of his body that felt so much better.<p>

there was only one person, in all the world, out of everyone he had met so far and shared experiences with, that gideon had gotten attached to, and that was nolan hepburn. the two shared a short but fiery, passionate, and volatile history, starting back when gideon was first diagnosed with his disease. the two had befriended each other at the san francisco medical center, gideon there because of his cancer, nolan because his sister was in a car accident and was going through surgery and care. the last time he'd seen nolan was the night they'd fought, the night angie had died on the table. the former football star could remember their words as clear as day, he could remember how he comforted nolan after the death of his littlest sister. more importantly, he could remember the feelings he had for the scruffy boy, and how they still lingered in some deep, dark part of him, refusing to let go. nolan was an exception, an exceptional human being, and gideon hated that he felt that way about someone.<p>

hearing the words pour from the stutterer's mouth, gideon raised an intrigued eyebrow. amazing? that was an odd way to describe a therapist. and the blush, again, came back to parker's cheeks, gideon picking up on it almost immediately. did little parker actually have a crush on jamie reynolds?! the possibilities ran through his mind like cheetahs in the savannah, all kinds popping up. one such one was the idea that he could go to the grapevine with this. but that wouldn't forward his goals, not really, especially if parker found out that gideon had spread that. so, for now, he decided to keep that little piece of information in his back pocket. <b>"how often do you have to see him?"</b> of course, he was still going to dig and pry, that was his nature. however, he really didn't want to dig and pry about parker's reading habits, not really giving two shits about that. <b>"cool, cool. what else do you like to do besides read?"</b> he pasted on an interested smile once again, his pearly-whites showing exuberantly.
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parker really had no idea how he was supposed to approach all of what had been going on, mostly because the man that had been standing in front of his right now had been intimidating the hell out of him, and that was mostly because the older of the two of them had bee extremely good looking, and it almost made him feel intimidated by everything that he did – because he looked as though he knew what he had been doing all of the time, and that was something that parker wished that he could do. he smiled, a small blush still playing on his cheeks right now, trying to take in a deep breath to at least keep himself calm. he watched giddeon for a moment, really wishing that he knew what he was thinking, even though there had been the risk that he was going to be a judgmental jerk about everything that was going on, but parker didn’t know how to read people… not one bit.<p>
sometimes, he actually thought that it would be much more easier if he could understand people. parker certainly didn’t understand anyone, and typically, that had been frustrating for him. it made it very difficult to interact with people on a whole other level, and that was something that he knew. right now, just by looking the older male over, it was a little easier to talk to him – however, that just might be because he was starting to relax, he hadn’t said anything mean to him or anything, and this was likely why parker was slightly letting his guard down, but it was also likely because his anxiety medication had been fresh into his system, and parker knew that was something that was, of course, going to sink into his system a little bit, and that was a good thing.<p>
it was almost antagonizing having to talk about mister reynolds, and that was because parker was very much attracted to him, and he knew that the other male didn’t think of him that way, and that was something that made him sad a little bit. he knew it was wrong though, students weren’t supposed to think about their therapist like that, and that was something that he knew. he took in a deep breath, just watching him for a moment, the blush still hot on his cheeks as he looked up at him once again. “twice a week.” he said with a small smile. at first, parker was there three times a week, but the fact that he was functioning a lot better, and parker got busier with school, the two of them thought that it would be best for the two of them to drop a session. “um… i watch movies sometimes… i… i am not a very interesting person.” he said as he shrugged his shoulders softly.







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ooc: sorry for taking so long ;_;

[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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gideon couldn't imagine what it would be like to be shy and introverted and quiet like parker was. even before his diagnosis he was one of the top students back in san antonio, both socially, academically, and in an extra-curricular sense. in the fifteenth percentile of the entire school (fifth percentile in his grade), as well as numerous activities such as football quarterback and captain, swim team, president of the sports club, and various other positions and sports, it was no wonder why he had been on the top of the food chain back at ravenwood. everyone wanted in on circle of friends, but few got in. thinking about his life back then, he couldn't help but frown. he wondered what all of said old friends were up to, whether they remembered him, cared that he was gone or not. naturally, this made him think about his siblings, and then his parents, and then his blood pressure started rising, boiling, hating to think about his parents but longing to have them all at the same time.<p>

when his parents had abandoned, that's what caused gideon's transformation, metamorphosis, evolution. all of the fights and the screams and tears all led up to that grande finale, and it was the reason he was so damaged and scarred and scared, deep down. it was why he felt he couldn't trust anyone, because they'd just stab him in the back and leave. all of the events that had happened at the hospital had changed him, turned him into what he was today; an untrustworthy, angry, bitter, harsh, chaotic shell of a man that could only share his pain with the rest of the world. and right now, parker foxxe was in his sights. it was his wholehearted intention to seduce the boy, no matter how long it took, only to say that he had stolen his virginity, dropping him in the ditch afterward, no matter what parker had to say or do about it. the old gideon would have never done such a thing. but then again, the old gideon was no more.<p>

gideon didn't dwell on things like this for too long when other people were around, thankful that parker had spoken up once more, if only because the younger boy distracted him from such things. <b>"that it?"</b> he was slightly surprised, though he didn't really let it show. instead, it came out more as an impressed tone, as if he thought parker must be doing quite well with his therapy then. <b>"i'm ordered to go see him everyday, but i never really go."</b> this brought a small laugh from his lips, wondering what the other boy would think about that. the topic was movies now though, and how parker wasn't a very interesting person. this caused an eyebrow raise from the older male, as he inquired on both subjects. <b>"what sort of movies do you like?"</b> movies were something he was a bit more familiar with than books, but not by much. <b>"and there's got to be other stuff you like! video games, sports, something."</b> he shot off suggestions haphazardly, his tone feigning incredulous.
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there was a lot that was going on through parker’s mind, and most of the time, he didn’t know how to organize his thoughts. even though parker had been a good kid, a lot of the time, he would get completely and totally scatterbrained. he didn’t know how he was supposed to organized his thoughts, mostly because when he had been even more scatter-brain when his anxiety was at an all time high; and that was something that he didn’t want to be too obvious right now. however, when he kept his cool and that he just learned how to relax, that way, things would be okay with him – his thoughts would eba lot more organized – and the result of that was that he felt more confident oversall when he was in some kind of a social situation, and that was something that was more important to parker than anything else in the world, just to feel comfortable in social situations, not feeling like he had been an embarrassment any time he had opened his mouth up.<p>
parker hadn’t been the same since he was adopted. going through the foster care system was hard. when parker was taken out of his parent’s custody, parker was a bit of a mess. even though he was only four and a half, he was completely and totally withdrawn from everyone else, and being in the foster system for two years, well, it didn’t quite help him much. however, even though he had been shy and withdrawn, when he finally found himself with a family, with people that had cared about him more and more was something that had been the best thing for him. of course, coming to st. jude’s and finding that he could actually get help and improve? well, that had been a bit of a boost to his confidence, because he was really happy when he felt as though he was improving, that things were simply getting better for him. <p>
“yeah, i mean … i am a lot better than when i came here … but i mean, i wouldn’t mind going to see him more, because he’s really nice… you should go … e… even if you don’t want to talk a lot.” she said as he nodded his head with a small smile. maybe parker sometimes would be the one that had thought really highly of mister reynolds, but that was just something that he really had wanted to get out there, that he was a good person, and he had been the one person that had been able to make an impact on him, and that was something that he wanted to make known to as many people as he could. running his fingers though his curls slowly, “i watch a lot of scary movies … and i mean a lot.” she said as she nodded his head with a small smile. most people didn’t expect something like that from shy, timid parker, and that was something that he knew. “not really, i um… i avoid social stuff a lot…” he said completely truthfully.








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[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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gideon was used to being busy, having a lot on his plate, and thus his mind was often filled with many things, going back and forth between a numerous matter of subjects. he had school to deal with, though he often skipped his classes, intimidating other kids into doing his homework instead. beyond that, he slept around a lot, atleast once a day even, and that added up, considering how long he could last, how long his partner could last. and then there were the occasional drugs and drinking he did. as well, he was also part of the underground fight club, so he was sometimes training and practicing for that, and the fights that it brought. then there was the the lost boys, a gang of sorts on the campus, run by warren fitzgerald and saul ainley, where he was an enforcer, a bodyguard for the collectors, there to protect them just in case people wanted to get handsie with the materials. it was the perfect job for him, to say the least.<p>

those were what some of his daily activities consisted of. beyond that, he was also scheming and plotting and planning, coming up with various ways to get people to do what he wanted them to do, or how he could get into someone's pants, or what he could do to protect his friends, though he would never admit to such things. right now he was scheming; he was thinking of what it would take to get into parker's pants, to steal the teenager's virginity right out from under him, something he had done before with other people, which was why he was secretly dubbed the "virginity thief". parker was just another victim to him at the moment, a puzzle to be played with and solved, the prize being the sexual acts that would come sooner or later. it would just take time and patience. time and patience, however, were not two things gidders possessed, especially in the case of the former, not with the tumors in his chest.<p>

listening to the boy before him explain his situation, how he only went a certain amount of times, wishing that he could go more, gideon raised an eyebrow. the cancer patient was used to reading people, and the more and more the two of them talked about jamie reynolds, the more and more obvious parker's attractions were. <b>"maybe i will go, see if it's worth all of the hype."</b> he teased slightly, a small smirk on his face. <b>"if he's as good as you say, i mean."</b> he shrugged simply, indicating that parker's opinion meant a bit to him now, despite the falseness of that statement.<p>

it was a bit surprising to hear that parker watched scary movies a lot, gideon not having pegged the boy to be brave or courageous enough to handle things like that. it was a nice shock though, the topic something that he knew a little bit about. atleast, he knew a bit more about horror movies than he knew about classic novels. <b>"any favorite movies?"</b> he raised a curious eyebrow, hoping he'd know some of the titles parker might list off, if only because he could talk about them and get closer to his goals with the dark-haired boy before him.<p>

hearing that parker avoided most social things didn't surprise the former football star all that much, a slight frown now on his face though as he heard it, despite the fact that he really couldn't care less. <b>"oh, right, i can understand that."</b> again, another completely believable lie, his blood boiling a bit in his skin, hating the idea that someone wasn't reaching their full potential. as a football prodigy back in texas, when the cancer took away his ability to play said sport, it was heartbreaking to him.
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parker really didn’t know what someone’s intentions could really be, for the most part, just because of the fact that his social awkwardness was something that didn’t tend to work in his favour, for the simple fact that he thought that things were simple. that one gesture meant one thing, and that another had meant another. it was something that made him confused, because he had always tried to make things simple, and yet, he realized eventually that he had been so much more complicated than anything that he had ever known. he ran his fingers through his hair slowly, watching gideon for a moment. parker really didn’t know how he was supposed to be around him, even though he had been taking to him for a little bit – and that was something that had been a little bit concerning for him right now.<p>
there was no doubt in his mind that the moment the he was going to leave this conversation, that he was going to end up curling into his bed, putting on a scary movie, and just letting the entire world hide away with him. that was something that he loved more than anything else in the world. parker was always at peace when he was more so on his own. of course, right now, he didn’t feel as though he was being targeted or anything like that, and that was something that made things so much easier for him in the long run. he didn’t know how to make a conversation when he felt as though he was being singled out in some form of a situation.<p>
“you should… i mean, i know that it’s really been good for me… and i know that if you need someone to really talk to, that he’s really, really understanding and stuff,”n he said with a small smile, knowing that he sounded really obsessed with mr. reynolds, but that was something that he just couldn’t help when it came to himself. he was a good looking man, and that was something that he just couldn’t deny, not even for a second. “he is, i would probably still be weird as hell and pretty much mute if it wasn’t for him,” he said as he shrugged his shoulders, taking in a deep breath with a small smile.<p>
“i would probably have to say the saw movies, sure, i… i think that they are a little gross and s… stuff, then they are really well thought out,” he said as he nodded his head with a small smile, taking in another deep breath, just trying to make sure that he had been saying all of the right things to the male. that was something that he was also very aware about, just saying some of the right things to someone so that he didn’t make a fool of himself in front of someone else, that was certainly something that he was scared of doing sometimes.<p>
“yeah, but i mean… i am getting a little better, a… at least that’s what i think,” he said with another small smile. there was a lot of things that he had been going through his mind. he really was trying more and more to put himself out there, even if it meant raising his hand in class, or participating in discussion. it was just some of the little things that had been going on in his life that were making him progress from the things that were told that were wrong with parker foxxe.









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ooc: sorry it took so long, been really busy lately with the show ;_;

[dohtml]<center><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Wire+One' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'><Div style='width:452px; padding:10px; border:10px solid #fafafa; background-color:white;'><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><Td><img src="http://i457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/Liberator02/Sigs/colton6.png"><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div><Div style='width:200px; height:10px; background-color:4061c2;'></div></td><td><div style='width:2px; height:2px; background-color:transparent;'></div></td><td valign='top' width="250"><div style='text-align:center; font-family:wire one; font-size:40px; letter-spacing:-2px; line-height:80%; color:4061c2;'>THOUGH MY EDGES MAY BE ROUGH</div>
<Div style='padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; font-size:7px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px; font-family: segoe ui; color:3c3c3c; line-height:1em;'>I never feel I'm quite enough It may not seem like very much But I'm yours You healed these scars over time Embraced my soul You loved my mind You're the only angel in my life -------------------- ♥</div><div style='width:3px; height:8px; background-color:transparent;'></div>
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throughout his entire life gideon had been a perceptive guy, always noticing the little changes in temperament in someone's expressions, whenever he said something wrong or right, or whether the person he was chatting with had hidden motivations or secrets. of course, he couldn't anyone completely, nor could he always tell what was going on in anyone's head, but his time at st. jude's had definitely honed his skills in this area. when he spent ninety-five percent of his time with others, whether he was fucking them or doing drugs with them or drinking, you tended to wonder what was going on in the mind of others. and gideon was a natural at reading people, like he had been a natural at a lot of things, like football and sports in general, as well as interactions with people. not that he was perfect by any means; there was plenty he was horrible at, but manipulation wasn't one of them.<p>

the former football prodigy couldn't help but wonder whether the cancer had an effect on this or not. since having been diagnosed, he did notice he was much more attentive to many things, much more zoned in, so to speak, and he knew part of that was thanks to said diagnoses. when one didn't have a lot of time left, one didn't take for granted a lot of the things life had to offer, though gideon's offerings were admittedly slim. there was only one thing left in this world that he could possibly love. one person, to be specific, and it was someone he couldn't be with, not without hurting said boy. if he tried to go for him, tried to reach out and hold him, he would be a target for everyone who hated gideon. and he had a lot of haters, a lot scorned victims ready to find anything they could get their hands on, any information to hurt the st. jude's senior. and besides his cancer, nolan was his only other weak spot in that regard.<p>

gideon had no intention on going to see jamie reynolds, his assigned therapist, and parker's obviously biased opinion on the matter wasn't going to change that, though the cancer patient would most certainly play along, just another part of the game. <b>"let him know that i will be there, if you see him, then."</b> he smiled ruefully, knowing full-well that he wouldn't show up.<p>

he could remember the saw movies faintly, though he'd only seen the first three of the whole series. <b>"i wouldn't have pegged you for the guy who liked the "saw" movies,"</b> he grinned lightly. atleast parker was a bit of a surprise, in this aspect atleast. <b>"i liked the second one the best, out of the ones i saw."</b> he could remember the one chick, amanda or whatever her name was, backstabbing the rest of the group at the end or something, locking the door and continuing the games. it was something he was likely to do, backstabbing that is.<p>

<b>"so it seems. i've noticed you haven't been stuttering as much the more we've been talking."</b> he gave an encouraging smile, as if to say that parker was doing a good job with the conversation, with talking and all of the interactions between the two of them thus far.
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parker was trying to be a good person and not the kind that had made judgment about people. he knew that he had been a bit of a mess and that was something that had been well known to him. of course, he knew that he just needed to relax a bit. he’d known that his nervousness could be at an all-time high, but he didn’t want it to be, he didn’t want to be shaken and nervous and that was something that he had known. parker had never had anything that was bad, per-se happen to him, unless you count his experiences with bullying, which had been not even close to an amicable experience for him. he knew that the male had been trying to be a good person and talk to him, he could tell that he was not the type of person that gideon would talk to an a regular basis, and that was for sure. taking in a deep breath, he licked his lips gently, just trying to make the situation more comfortable for the both of them.<P>
however, there had been one thing on his mind, that he really wasn’t sure if he had been supposed to be curious about this, but he certainly was. that just so happened to be: why gideon had even been at st. jude’s in the first place. parker knew first hand that some people at st. jude;s weren’t exactly the most mentally stable people in the world, hell, parker was the type of person that would be quick to define himself as someone who had been socially awkward and wasn’t the most stable person with his multi-weekly panic attacks that had basically made him cry for hours until he could snap himself out of it. he knew for a fact that someone who had seem him in that kind of state would not believe that he had been stable in the slightest, but then again, he didn’t have anyone that he had needed to convince. he was honestly tired of being known as someone who had been a wreck all of the time because he could barely function in social situations.<p>
the talk of jamie was a little bit strange for him, mostly because he never really talked about him with anyone, considering it had always been just the two of them and he really didn’t want someone else to be in on their own little conversations. “i will be sure to tell him, i have a session in about an hour… so i will be sure to.” he said as he nodded his head with a small smile.<p>
“yeah, n… no one really gets that about me… they think i would like movies l… like the notebook or something like that,” he said as he nodded his head as he simply just watched him for a moment. this had been the first time in a long time that he’d had a lasting conversation with someone and it didn’t end with him awkwardly walking away and asking himself why he was such an idiot. “y… yeah, the second one was the best one,” he said with a small smile.<P>
“it… it gets more manageable… but i mean… i’ve had a speech impediment since i could basically talk… t… they never really knew how to fix it,” he said with a small smile.









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