Cyclical Nightmare, Sirius! James! Lily?

[Cora]

Generally, Lily didn't like being 'looked out for', as her husband was sure to know all to well. But then a baby appeared and threw everything a hundred different directions. No one and especially not Lily now was going to protest taking Harry out of the way of whatever came through the door.

...and from the sound of things, this was a wise decision.

She'd taken the screaming mess of a (very darling) baby boy up the stairs in a hurry and put them both behind the doors of her own room, falling heavily onto the bed and bouncing the poor child gently and slightly desperately to calm him down. Harry was a good child and often pleasant natured, but easily excitable and not always kind on his mother's previously-strong nerves.

Lily's life had been turned on its head. Both of theirs had really: the entire Potter house had once been built very firmly on Lily's good sense and excellent breakfast. Now such things took a second place to the soiled baby clothes and colourful miniature possessions that seemed to fill up every corner and the demanding wailings of a boy who got unending attention, but no more than he deserved, of course.

Lily sat very quietly, whispering to the child in her arms and hugging him to her chest. They lived in scary times. She hated that they had to be so afraid for him, but there was no sense in ignoring it. Things could go too badly too fast. It was terrible being afraid like this. It sucked the life from you and chocked you at night when you thought you were sleeping soundly and worked its way around the most simple of conversations. You had to work hard to keep going. You had to have a lot of brightness around to keep everything else out of the way. Brightness like the Godric's Hollow house, a continual chorus of boys - one in particular, of course, and a warm little person pressed up against her chest, slowing his sobs to the rhythm of her bouncing arms.

It was something very special.

Just as some sort of peace descended over the room - or a promise of peace-soon-to-come, something smashed outside the door and loud voices drifted in from outside. The ruckus startled the poor worried boy ( who was, maybe, less good-natured and easy-going than his doting parents saw) and Lily's ears rang once again with the noise. For a moment, over his relentless screaming, Lily couldn't make out the voices downstairs. For a moment, everything in her heart contracted and she squeezed her son against her.

But even tiny Mr. Potter needed breath now and then. And as he gulped for air, a moment of quiet closed over the room - unusual now - and James' voice travelled up the stairs in reassurance.

It would be.

A minute later, as she heard the front door slam, Lily made her way out of her room and down the stairs. She looked frazzled to say the least, dressed for a quiet evening at home, but her red hair falling out of its braid around her face and her cheeks flushed from the effort. Harry gulped and choked on his own confused tears, quickly filling the downstairs with his shouts and as Lily stopped on the bottom step, looking between all three of the boys - never stopping her coaxing rocking of the boy in her arms, whispering comforting syllables under her breath. Her expression was frazzled but distinctly stern though not unfriendly.

"Do you all conspire to deprive this house of any peace? We were making some progress before you had to go throwing things around."

[Borrowed Breath]

"Like what?"

"How on earth do I know?!" Sirius demanded, equally incredulous, giving Remus a not entirely seriously injured look, though he was more perturbed by the attack of the flower pots than he was by Remus's lack of notion of what to do. Although, indeed, in the face of the attack of the flower pots, it would have been quite handy to know what to do, but he didn't blame Remus, being similarly ignorant himself.

"You're the one that shoved us in a bush and didn't cast a barrier."

Now this was true, certainly, but so much for gratitude. It wasn't really the classiest manner of saving someone's head from a flying pot, but at least they had neither of them been thwacked in the head yet. It did occur to Sirius that he should now stop shaking Remus, and he did so, scowling a little in the face of the complete lack of-

"It's appreciated."

"Gah," Sirius articulated, irritably, unable to think of anything else to say to express his annoyance and acceptance at the same time. Give a bloke some time to catch up, damn it. But Remus's emotions were worse than a PMSing woman around this time of the moon, and one couldn't really blame him for it. It did however tickle the surface of the well of annoyances that were piling up between the two of them, and it bugged him more because so far, things had been bloody fine. He didn't want to think about these things, damn it - he didn't want to think about the unpleasant consequences of war or the fact that he was losing his friends by the day. The previous night's debacle had left Sirius oddly estranged, and he didn't care for it at all. It made him feel not unlike an idiot girl, and he wasn't a girl, the other part being quite questionable.

"You know that now she's made up her mind, holding our hands up in peace isn't going to work. She's too busy trying to smash our heads in for that. Not to mention the fact she's probably attracted a lot of unwanted attention."

"We'll work on your PR in a bit, Moony," pointed out Sirius, not very helpfully.

"What about your Patronus? Won't someone recognize that? You know I'd do one but there's little point."

"Aha! Wise old man," Sirius clapped him on the back. "I knew there was a reason we kept you around." The door opened before Sirius could befuddle Miss Bagshot (and indeed himself) with the shape of his Patronus, however, and Sirius grinned, grabbing a handful of Remus's sleeve. "Our knight in shining armour is here, though." And indeed, James Potter caught the lethal geranium with all the heroic grace of a former Gryffindor Quidditch captain. It was a real pity about the hair, because without that, Sirius did believe the reigning Potter could have made a halfway decent Jedi master.

A dialogue ensued, which made Sirius cackle - though for his own safety, he did so softly. When the time was right, he stood, not yanking Remus along in a surprising display of conscientiousness - the man's bones were to be wracked out of shape in a short while, really, the least one could do was to not to push or pull him more than was necessary. Still snickering, he ducked inside, Remus in tow. "I love that old crone," he added, in a bemused, baffled sort of tone, grinning, "completely blooming barmy."

James took a moment to Be Responsible, a phenomenon that had alarmingly ganed frequency since the younger Mr. Potter had made his appearance, and returned. Sirius grinned back at him broadly as well, enormously cheered now, despite the Being A Grown Up thing James was becoming very good at. Indeed, he didn't quite mind that too much. You couldn't have a baby if you were a kid, after all, and he rather liked the Potter baby.

“Now all we need it Peter and a half a ton of horse manure and we’ll have the complete set. Did you know you were wearing my mulch, Sirius?”

"Thought I'd dress for the occasion," Sirius said, quite agreeably, looking particularly grubby. Although he did manage to retain a certain amount of natural grace, he was prone to attracting an unnatural amount of dirt. As a result, he looked somewhat like he had elegantly rolled around in the mud - which was probably somewhat baffling. He turned to look at Remus, who had escpaed with marginally less mulch on himself. "Now Remus here could have rolled around in the mud a little more, I think." He proceeded to make an elaborate production of batting the dirt off him, patting him not terribly gently about the shoulders and back, causing mulch, grass, and bits of pots to fall to the floor around Remus. He was about to give himself a thorough, doggy like shaking, when he caught sight of Lily, holding the baby and looking ... well, in a most womanly manner, a combination of things.

"Do you all conspire to deprive this house of any peace? We were making some progress before you had to go throwing things around."

"Not our fault you pick such batty neighbours," said Sirius immediately, giving her a half-kind, half-obnoxious sort of grin that probably baffled more than it communicated. "She was trying to kill us, Lily! At least we know you have a good guard-dog in my absence, eh?" He perfunctorily batted his hands on his behind to "clean" them (though since he was very muddy, the results of this were dubious) before walking to Lily and planting a big kiss on her cheek, leaving a mark. "Oh, oy," he said, helpfully wiping her face, leaving an even more muddy mark. Cringing, he looked woefully at James. "Your wife is incredibly dirty, Potter, got soap?" Well aware that getting mulch on the baby would be frowned upon a lot more than leaving mud on the wife, he tossed them all a resigned sort of look and went to wash up, leaving the Potters to handle Remus's PMS.

[Thestral]

"How on earth do I know?!" Sirius demanded, equally incredulous, giving Remus a not entirely seriously injured look,

So,etimes Remus wondered why he had to be the one that actually used his brain. While James and especially Sirius were by no means thick, they did forget ocassionally to use their heads and left Remus do the thinking. He had wondered when younger if theeffort was simply too much for them but now he knew the truth: they did it to drve him doolally. He was sure it was in a benovelont spirit, the fact he was handily nearly always thinking had to be a plus. He had been more than willing to help them, he supposed, it was only because he was feeling grouchy at the moment. he had tried to control it, particularly when they didn't know, but sometimes his swinging emotions got the better him and he was snapping at them for not much at all.

His condition was very wearing. It mutated his entire body into a monster. Bones snapped, shifted and reformed, his heart rate increased, his organs shifted, his throat moving was the oddest but by far the most painful was his head. It literally felt as though his eyes were going to pop out and his head explode. it was also the most distressing part of the whole thing. While it was all excrutiatingly painful, the crux of the matter lay when he could feel himself slip away into the breach. Gone was Remus Lupin, the timid shy and brainy boy, who tried to pull his friends back from the more controversial and outlandish of pranks, and in was the vicious blood thristy mosnter than would rather rip the skin from your bones than look at you.

"We'll work on your PR in a bit, Moony,"

Remus almost growled but caught himself in time. "That it's what I meant and you know it," he grouched. He wasn't thinkinga bout his PR he was thinking about the very loud smashing pots and the very loud yelling old woman who was mad as a hatter. Naturally Remus didn't appreciate being attacked but he loathed it so close to the full moon. He was likely to dish out a disproportionate response which wasn't very good at all now was it? He hadn't wanted to point out the obvious but he was so used to doing it, it came out anyway. Sometimes it had been like living with children who were half his age. But then it was probably how they coped with the world around them - at least in Sirius's case.

I knew there was a reason we kept you around."

Oh so that was the only reason? Rationally he knew it couldn't be, but Remus always had those strong lingering doubts with the insidious voice in the back of his head yammering away. What if it was the only reason? They no longer actually cared but he was just around because he was familiar and reminded them of safer times? What a horrible thought. Remus tried his best to suppress it but the voice kept telling him otherwise. He had to be worth something at least, even if it wasn't a lot. The problem with Remus was, however, he didn't think he was worth anything at all to anyone at all. He was subhuman and would be for the rest of his life. He'd live on the outskirts of society because that was the only place for him. He'd live as best as he could, paying low rent - high too high for the conditions he wa sliving in - eating little, having practically no heating and going from day to day, just waiting for the cycle to end and the new one to start.

"Do you all conspire to deprive this house of any peace? We were making some progress before you had to go throwing things around."

"Oh you know me and my temper tantrums James," Remus joked. You were lucky to get him to raise his voice. Even around the full moon he only snapped at people. Getting him to yell was quite a feat indeed. However managed that should get a meddle of some kind. "She's an assault to the ear drums. Someone that old shouldn't be able to yell so loud even with spells Remus grouched. he watched Sirius bemused as he tried to pat himself down and then wander over to Lily and get her a mess as well. He didn't get it. They spent 7 years learning to be Wizards yet he didn't think to simply clean with magic? Mind you the barrier spell completely slipped his mind too. Must be an off day.

Remus cleaned himself and Lily up magically in a matter of seconds. "I fear for your child's sanity," Remus said to Lily after Sirius had wandered off. "And mine," he muttered aftewards. "Just wait until Sirius has convinced himself he's got jedi powers. Hide the children! Nobody's safe from the Jedi corruption!" Remus joked.

[BJB47]

"Oh you know me and my temper tantrums James,"

“Well, I know our dear neighbor is a fruity as a nut cake,” Smiled James and clapped Remus around the shoulder. “It’s bloody marvelous to see you, Moonie. Batty’s greeting notwithstanding. Thanks for coming, old man.”

"She's an assault to the ear drums. Someone that old shouldn't be able to yell so loud even with spells.”

“Ah, well, the thing is, old fellow, dear Miss Bagshott is any number of things that you shouldn’t be without spells, but she is just the same. Loud is the least of it. I think she’s suffering from Grand Child Deprivation, wouldn’t you say Lil? She certainly takes far too much interest in young Harry. Mind you, I’m not saying my mum wouldn’t be around every afternoon if she lived next door.”

"Not our fault you pick such batty neighbors,"

“Never said it was, Padfoot. But that is no excuse for spending half the night groveling around behind the hydrangeas. I know they refer to it as a flower bed but it’s a matter of speaking, you know. It’s not meant to be taken literally. There, I think you are clean enough to risk on the carpet. You know, Moonie, we don’t usually allow him in unless he’s in Animagus form. He’s usually cleaner as a dog.”

James led the way from the hall into the little kitchen, reasoning that there were two attractions in the kitchen that the living room lacked. First was the linoleum floor, which would be easier to clean, even after Remus had got Sirius semi-presentable. Second and more important were the bottles of beer cooling on the kitchen window sill. “Come on through, Padders. There’s bound to be a bowl of kibble for the famished traveler, and I know what you are really here for. To drink my beer and torment my wife, by playing ridiculous games with my son. What is it this time? More Thomas the Tank Engine? Quidditch with water balloons?” From the hall way he heard Remus’ final words to Lily.

“Hide the children! Nobody's safe from the Jedi corruption!"

“Oh, Lord,” said James rolling his eyes. Waving his hand slowly in front of Sirius’ face he said, “This isn’t the baby you want. This baby can go to bed now…” All he needed was Sirius to try to swat down his old Snitch with his bloody light saber….blindfolded.

[Cora]

"She was trying to kill us, Lily! At least we know you have a good guard-dog in my absence, eh?"

It wasn't entirely the apology she had expected, but, all the same, it was hard to resist such shows of affection - especially from the loud but ever sincere Sirius. She wiped at her cheek with a free hand, expertly balancing the baby in one arm - these thing came so naturally though from where she wasn't sure. "Oh no. I wouldn't want to mislead your delusions of being indisposable to us." she said, teasingly, in good fun but, owing to her frustration, not without some bite behind her words. Because, really, she slept so little these days. But she wasn't bitter, just a little tired, "Though, I must say, Bathilda has yet to clean out my entire pantry on her own. You are still uncontested in some manners, Sirius Black." She watched him go, shaking her head. These boys. What would they all do without them...

The fact that Lily's life was so tangled up around James' friends was strange but happily cosy. It was rather different than she would have though her married house hold would be (if, in all honesty, she had ever given much serious thought to her 'married life' before it had happened to her - she had never been a moony romantic child), but it seemed right all the same - whatever that meant. So, despite her exasperation, she was smiling at Sirius' back when he departed.

I fear for your child's sanity,"

Lily might be exasperated with Sirius, but she could only be grateful to Remus, whose cleaning spell reached her hand just as she was bringing it away from her cheek, deliberating over finding a towel to wipe it on.

"Thank you."

Lily Evans had grown up in a household where things had taken time: where you took half an hour to do the dishes after dinner and another half hour to sweep or wipe the counter tops. Domestic spells didn't come as easily to her as potions or charms and, more than that, it still wasn't her first impulse to use magic on something she would have done with her hands. She wasn't sure if she'd ever entirely make the adjustment.

She bounced Harry in her arms determindely, glancing away from her friends at the tiny face for a moment.

"I'm thinking he might have more of a chance at sanity if he'd agree to rest now and then. It would also give him more time away from all of your bad influence - I beg your pardon, Remus - afterall."

That hint of fun crossed her face again, she couldn't help it. Even when she hadn't slept in far too many hours...


“I think she’s suffering from Grand Child Deprivation, wouldn’t you say Lil? She certainly takes far too much interest in young Harry. Mind you, I’m not saying my mum wouldn’t be around every afternoon if she lived next door.”

Lily shook her head, "Don't complain. She happy enough to be helpful and I'm not too proud to want a bit of rest for my arms now and then. Likewise, your mum is welcome around anytime while you're gallivanting."

Smiling to herself and then down at the now significantly quieter bundle in her arms (perhaps the tiny boy was comforted by his mother's sarcasm), Lily followed the rest into the kitchen.


“ What is it this time? More Thomas the Tank Engine? Quidditch with water balloons?”

"Please. I've been tormented enough. Just remember that Harry has my hands occupied so if you go smashing things, it's up to you to get it back together," she said, no unkindly, finding a chair at the table and falling heavily into it, "And yes, I am still waiting for an apology on Harry's behalf."

[Borrowed Breath]

“Never said it was, Padfoot. But that is no excuse for spending half the night groveling around behind the hydrangeas. I know they refer to it as a flower bed but it’s a matter of speaking, you know. It’s not meant to be taken literally. There, I think you are clean enough to risk on the carpet. You know, Moonie, we don’t usually allow him in unless he’s in Animagus form. He’s usually cleaner as a dog.”

"Except for the fleas," put in Sirius, with a slightly over-wide grin. James Potter had rescued them not merely from the flying flower pot attack launched by the exceptionally energetic old bat he called a neighbour, Sirius reflected, but also from one another. It was really easy to forget in the face of being Good Friends that Remus and him were not really remotely like each other, but different in a not-always-complimentary sort of way. In fact, it was surprising that they did not cause one another to explode more often - though there were, certainly, a number of close calls, like this one. Remus was in a naturally bad mood, and Sirius -- well, suffice it to say, he had not had nearly as soothing night as his sprightly demeanour indicated. He was indeed more than a little off - flying flower pots were nothing a self-respecting could not deal with without help from his friends, after all.

But this escaped his notice because the night wasn't really, in his mind, about tediously seeking gaps in the way he was functioning. It was about having fun, meeting people who inevitably soothed the thing, that he would never really call "soul", inside him, which had lately felt troubled and was, after last night, altogether more alarmed. Because there were some things you never expected to be confronted with. Indeed, Sirius should have been used to these unexpected confrontations by now, having handled a certain amount of death and a more substantial amount of blood. His phobia acted up every now and then but you could not really afford to faint at the sight of red when you were fighting a battle. Blood happened, and death happened, and just as those happened, people's darker sides happened. There was no logical reason for his inner system to be in a frenzy simply because of some nasty words - but there it was nonetheless, defying logic with pigheaded continuity since 1959. Though, of course, this was Not On His Mind.

"Oh no. I wouldn't want to mislead your delusions of being indisposable to us. Though, I must say, Bathilda has yet to clean out my entire pantry on her own. You are still uncontested in some manners, Sirius Black."

"I am a rare and precious dandelion, you mean," Sirius said, "and I did not clean out your pantry entirely -- never seen any reason to eat spinach, after all," he finished, dusting himself off, and taking his leave for the bathroom. This mission was however interrupted by the word "kibble", which made Sirius turn around and follow James into the kitchen -- one could wash up in the vicinity of food just as well as one could far from it, after all, and between the former and the latter, one always chose the former. Food was not really the only reason Sirius came to the Potters' house, but it was a very important reason, for he was yet to discover any reason to learn to cook. Uncle Alphard had made damn sure he would never have to sing for his supper or cook it. But there was an appeal to home-cooked meals which accounted for the very lagre number of previously honourable men having got married, which Sirius could appreciate, understand and exploit.

"Quidditch with water-balloons," he said, contemplatively, turning on the tap and rubbing his hands quite perfunctorily under the stream of water. He washed his face and dunked his head, and conscientiously avoided shaking his head around like a dog and avoided getting drops of water on the kitchen and James. "Haven't played that in a long time -- we could charm the balloons to fly and chase around Remus. Glad to see you've got your Thinking Cap on," he grinned, passably clean now, and determinedly ignoring the fact that water-balloon Quidditch had not really been a suggestion.

"Please. I've been tormented enough. Just remember that Harry has my hands occupied so if you go smashing things, it's up to you to get it back together. And yes, I am still waiting for an apology on Harry's behalf."

"Oh, Harry won't mind," declared Sirius, though without the candid sort of obnoxiousness that was struggling to be released tonight.

“This isn’t the baby you want. This baby can go to bed now…”

Putting the finishing touches on being clean - by smacking his palms on his bottom to dry them off - he walked over to where Lily had plonked herself to lean over. "No, don't send him to bed," he said, with a minor hint of a whine in his voice. "Remus is Morose and babies have healing properties, right? Anyway, here," he put his face closer to Harry Potter and poked him in the stomach, "we're sorry, Mr. Potter, but your parents chose the looniest neighbours to live with!" He proceeded to tickle the baby, extracting a giggle, which then made him grin, inordinately pleased. "See? All is well! Anyway, Jedi-training can't start until he's walking, at least, so don't fret it." He looked at Remus and then frowned, as it finally occured to him that there were simpler ways of becoming clean. "You magicked yourself clean, didn't you? How ... conservative," he said, with mock-disdain.

((Sorry about the delay and randomness, guys - college has been eating my brain.))