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Yeah, so um. I think I'll be off for a week. Jade died. And honestly, it sounds stupid and everything, but yeah, I'm just completely overwhelmed, and a bit annoyed that it happened, because I could have handled it if she died in a fight. Honestly, I was sure if it came between her and a couple of people, she'd have died, but I can't handle this because it was something completely beyond my reach, and I couldn't do anything about it, and I feel so powerless and this is lame, and I'm stupid for it, I know, I know. But I have serious issues and I already know that. Especially control issues. Since I felt like random events have controlled my entire life and I feel powerless against it and I blame it for my Uncle's suicide almost a year agoooo..
I really do love you all and everything, but yeaaah, the last thing you guys is me around right now. <3 You guys have no idea how much I hate random things and that being the only cause for death. Why couldn't it just be pick this option: Fight. Run. Hide. Something that I could have used my brain for. D: Anywaay. Um. Yeah. Rambling. Feeling sick. Ouuuut.
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