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Government of Panem
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CASPIAN LESPI
<br>DUNCAIN
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twenty-one ∙ District 4 ∙ Fisherman ∙ Ryan Reynolds
<br>Angry ∙ quiet ∙ loving ∙ protective ∙ gentle ∙ confused
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A tricky thing
As yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers
Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands to keep score
Keep your eyes open
Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep y o u r e y e s o p e n
K e e p y o u r e y e s o p e n
K e e p y o u r e y e s o p e n
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<br><br><br><br><font size=5>childhood,</font><br><br>
I grew up a happy child. I met two of the most amazing people in my whole young-life and I knew from then on that we were going to be best friends for life. It's kind of funny, too, you know. I could tell at such a young age that Brooke and Gaevin were going to grow up and be in love. <br><br>
I never thought about one of them being a victim of the Hunger Games, I swear I didn't. None of us did. We grew up together and we were going to stay together for life. Right?
<br><br><br><br><font size=5>teenage years,</font><br><br>
We're from District Four. We're a Career district. I hate training. It's dumb though. I have to make sure that I take it seriously though, just in case. We all do. Brooke, Gaevin, and I. Some girl from our school class got reaped last year and she didn't make it very far. When we were younger, we didn't think about the reality of actually being a tribute. We didn't think it would hit so close. <br><br>
My mother died. She was really sick, so I feel indifferent about the situation. I would much rather have her be at rest and not be suffering anymore, you know? Christoph doesn't feel that way though. He tells me I am being insensitive on the matter. But... Is it wrong that I just want the best for her? <br><br>
Brooke and Gaevin are young, like me. Me and him, we're sixteen now and Brooke is fifteen and they're already talking about getting married. I think it's young but they're so in love and I can't hope but be happy for them.
<br><br><br><br><font size=5>a year later,</font><br><br>
...<br><br>
Gaevin was reaped. Gaevin was killed in the bloodbath at the cornucopia. I've never been one for crying but I cried long and hard from my home. After that I collected myself and went to Brooke's. I held myself together by holding on to her. I could feel her shaking in my arms. She's so broken but I want to protect her. I want to make her better again. <br><br>
Life is hard without one of your best friends but I feel like I've lost both of them. Brooke just cleans all the time, even when I'm over at her house. Her family and I share sympathetic looks but we never really say a word to each other. I like to know that I'm the one who is there for her, you know? I don't know what would happen if she were to be torn from my life.<br><br>
I just don't know.
<br><br><br><br><font size=5>now,</font><br><br>
Brooke and I both... are better. We're no where near perfect and I don't know that we'll always be. Pictures of Gaevin are still strewn around her room if you look hard enough. And I think that's what makes me feel so <i>damn</i> guilty. If I didn't still see him and him and her together I'd probably feel better. This girl though, something's happened over these past three years and I know what it is but I don't like to admit it. <br><br>
But I love Brooke Ainsley with all of my heart. I can't love her though, she was meant to be Gaevin's. It is wrong, isn't it? Completely and totally messed up, I know. <br><br>
I've been going to the ocean a lot recently. It helps clear my mind. I really feel peaceful there. I just forget everything and sit completely still, either watching the clouds or watching the waves roll by. It's so serene, so calm, so perfect... so what my life used to be. The water reminds me a lot of Brooke's eyes but I try to put that past when I'm relaxing. <br><br>
Sometimes I think I see something flash in those bright eyes of hers. It looks a little like life, what her eyes used to look like. I'm wondering if maybe she's moving on from Gaevin, finally accepting that he isn't coming back. Part of me is happy for me and part of me is happy for her, but there's another part of me that is jealous. I know I love her more than anything. But again, there's no way she could ever feel anything back for me. <br><br>
I was Gaevin's best friend. I am Brooke's best friend. <br><br>
So I can only hope that there is some other man in her life, I can only hope.
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I'll protect her no matter what.
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kenna
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<center> seventeen ∙ cst ∙ anything just ask
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<center><br><b>Referral:</b> Nope</center>
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:2 I know. I like men. :2
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See Whisper or Flux.
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