Time is Leaving me Behind

[whitewolf]

Larka snapped out of her voyage into mental thoughts as she caught the sound of water rippling. Tilted lake stood before the pair, and Larka smiled. The words rang through her head,

"Oh O'er the drifting fields afar,
Through the stormy lands,
Time will tell who you really are,
And Tor will guide you strong.

O'er the peaks of mountains high,
Through the rainbow of forest,
Time will never lie,
For what you are is what you are,
You cannot change your fate.

The drifting guide of river flow,
Will show you the way back home,
For only you can show what you really are,
And Tor will guide you strong."

What were the next verses? She didn't want to sing it all again in front of Justice, but she wanted to sing it badly. She wanted to feel that jolt of memory as the words flowed through her lips. What was it? It was driving her wild. The verses she remembered matched Justices for as a lullaby to pups, the male would sing what Justice sung, the female what Larka had. But her mother and father had ivented more words to the songs and she needed to know them. She stepped into Tilted Lake, the limpid blue water flowing over her paws and hallfaway up her legs.

[Justice]

The ivory brute watched his alpha, and through she did not speak the words, he knew what she thought. It was an old old song of his fathers. They had sung it at the pack on nights as dead as Hell, and days as alive as Heaven. He had sung it to himself many times over the past couple years, each time he did it brought back aching memories of his past.

"For upon said land you come to face,
The joys and horrors past.
To see the truth,
Upon the lies,
Seeing through Death's disguise.

Through the plains,
And through the peaks,
For however long you roam,
Always know of your kin,
Their call will bring you home.

Relax and Rejoice,
If just for now,
Smile and Stay Strong,
You're never alone and lost,
For Tor will guide you strong."

Boldly he sang the words as he made his way through the crystal clear water of the Tilted Lake. A calming energy seemed to run through him, as large paws landed on the soft sand with each step. Proud crania lifted up and his solid onyx eyes locked with the gaze of the Alphess.

[whitewolf]

Larka's memory jolted and the missing words to the song flowed through her mind. Only 5 living wolves knew those words that her mother and father invented. Larka and her littermates. Teren, Yonr, Endia and Kiarin. As Larka's eyes locked with Justices, she decided that 6 wolves would know them. The words flowed over her lips, effortlessly hitting each and every pitch she needed to.

"Walk along the plains of glory,
Child of mine,
Walk along the clouds of heaven,
Child of mine.

Find your voice and speak to the world,
Everyone was placed here for a reason,
Go out and find that reason,
Child of mine.

Walk on through the trees of strength,
Child of mine,
Walk on through the challenges before you,
Child of mine.

I'll walk along the water and run 'til I find,
The reason I was placed on this world,
And I'll reach for the stars in the moonlit sky,
Child of yours."

Larka fiished on a medium note and sighed as the water of Tilted lake rippled over her legs. she waded in farther, then turned her head to Justice. Where did you learn those songs?

[Justice]

Justice listened to her song, and though he was not facing her, he was listening with his ears and his heart. White perked ears were pointed toward her, but dark eyes stay fixed on the water before him.

It was strange how comforting those words were. They settled all his doubts and fears, and if only for a moment he felt truly at fear. He had no need to fear anything, no need to regret anything. The past was the past. The future would be in the future. But the present was now. This was what needed to be thought of. Not old mistakes, or dreading of future ones. Just now.

So as her song finished and her question was asked, he turned to look at her, a strange expression on his face. It was one of happiness. One of comfort. One that very few wolves managed to obtain.

But as he looked at her, the magic of the song had gone. Slowly the anger, and fear he had felt for so long was coming back. But amazingly, it wasn't as strong as it used to be. It wasn't the mind and heart numbing pain that coursed through him daily, and at all hours.

"Well, I learned them all from my father. Freedom, Alphen of the Dauntless Souls Pack. He used to sing them to the stars and the moon on nights as dark as Hell itself and days as pure of Heaven."

[whitewolf]

Larka nodded her head. "Why didn't you stay with them?" Her orbs of fire half-closed as she waded into Tilted lake deeper; Cool refreshing water splashing over her snowy pelt. Memories kept running through her mind. Mainly songs. Why was she remembering them now? Maybe it was just by coincidence, or maybe Justice reminded her of her father. Her colorless lids lifted and she looked down at the water. It looked blue when you werent in it, but it was like glass. She looked up at Justice nad caught his eye.

[Justice]

He question made a shiver run down his spine. Inside he was a mix of emotions. Between wanting to tell her, and wanting to keep it to himself. He wanted to share with someone, anyone. If anything to dull the pain inside of him. But he also wanted to keep his weakness to himself. He wanted to keep her unknowing of his cowardness. No one should now of that.

Finally his need won out and taking a deep breath he looked her straight in the eyes and began to tell her his story.

"I loved Mother and Father. I loved my pack. I was at home, with a family that loved me, just as much, if not more then I loved them. I even had a girl. We met when we were pups. I guess you could say it was puppy love.

"When we grew up we were to become mates. Everything was all worked out. That day the pack was on a hunt. All of us, except my father. When we got back, I found him almost dead. Crying to the heavens I told them to take my life, if only to save my fathers.

"Well, they did. They took me to heaven, and brought my father back down. The strange thing though, they let me come back as well. All I can remember is a blinding white light for a moment, and then I was standing next to my very much alive father.

"I called out for Thunder, but I could not find her. Then as I began to walk, I found her. She had thrown herself off of the cliff at the edge of our territory. She was dead upon the rocks. I was weak, I needed her to live. She was all I had. So I went up those cliffs and I threw myself onto the ground beside her.

"Once again I was back at those pearly gates. This time though I heard a cold voice say; 'you are not welcome here. Those of suicide can not come to a place of purity. You are to go back to Earth. Go back and teach other not to do what you have done. Teach others not to be weak cowards.'

"Then I was back. I could not face my pack mates. And they could not face me. All of them except my father. For he is who I really miss. Mother would not look at me. But Father was there the day that I left."

Turning away from her he looked back toward the water. Somewhere deep inside of him, he felt slightly better. But he was afraid. Afraid she would call him a coward, and banish him from her sight. Just like his pack. Just like his mother.

[whitewolf]

Larka's ears were up as she listened to Justice's tale, and she soaked in every word like she was a sponge. But her amber orbs of flame stayed fixed on the waters. It seemed to turn black before her eyes. It swirled and swirled and her breathing went faster and faster. Her chest swelled, then shrunk again violently, again and again. Her eyes were flooded with terror as visions of an unspoken, untold past flashed in the glossy black surface of the water. The flames danced before her eyes again and pain swireled through her body. She felt the searing burn of the flames again. But hadn't she gone up the mountains then? Yes, but the flames had taken her as well. She felt the heat of the flames as they closed around her again. Justice had reminded her too much of her old past. Far, far too much. The raven black surface of the water broke as Larka's body fell into the liquid. The pain stooped and the fright and terror in her eyes disappeared as fast as it came. Her breathing slowed to normal and her mind ran through the events as she floated under the water.

[Justice]

He could tell you the moment she changed. He could feel her drowning. Feel the pain that ran through her. The pain that he had caused! He should have just kept his mouth shut! No one should know of his past. He shouldn't cause someone the pain that was reserved for him alone.

But though he wanted nothing more then to turn and crawl into a small den. Her actions made him stop. Eyes wide open in terror, as soon as she fell to the water, he walked closer toward her.

"Larka! Larka!" Justice yelled out, the terror of the moment making him forget if just for a moment that she was an alphess. She was royalty. Her word was law, and he should be paying her the respect she deserved. But seeing her under the water like that, made everything disappear.

With a small growl he dunked his head into the water. Strong jaws closed on the scruff of her neck, the scruff that was still there even after a pup grew to a wolf. Making sure he had hold of her he pushed himself up, bringing both of them to the surface.

Strong legs led them back to shore and he dropped her on the ground there. Fire was raging in his dark eyes as he looked at her. "What the hell were you doing?!" His usually soft but deep voice, was like a roar. Birds took off in the distance, but Justice didn't even notice. All he could do was stare at her.

[whitewolf]

Larka felt jaws close around the scfruff of her neck and with asounding force, she felt herself ripped from the water. A thud echoed through her as she hit the grassy floor. "What the hell were you doing?!" It was amazing how such words could be so comforting, but so angry at the same time. She kept her eyes shut and coughed. Water spurted from her throat and she dropped her head back onto the earth. Larka breathed in the sweet air and then said weakly, "I don't know... The water just went all black and then, they came back. They came back for me, because I escaped them. They wanted me to feel it again. I thought it was happening to me again, I thought these lands would be burned to the ground. With you in them. It was an illusion Justice, just an illusion." Her head still layed on the ground as she spoke, eyes still closed. she felt the sun trying to dry her soaking wet fur and she lifted her head.

[Justice]

Justice looked at her, and his eyes that had been so hard moments ago were suddenly soft. The darkness of his orbs couldn't hide the light in his soul, and as he took a step toward her he shivered. There was something about this wolfess, something about her being, something that calmed him in no way since he lost Thunder.

And as he looked at her, he could see the pain in her being. The pain in her body, soul, and mind. As he looked at her he didn't see an alphess. He didn't see a wolfess whom he shouldn't look straight in the eyes. He saw a pack mate, and more then a pack mate, he saw a friend.

A friend was in pain, and he couldn't do anything to help her. He would only cause her pain. His story had been the reason she had first been lost in the water. No one should have to be in pain because of him. It was his fault! Always his fault!

But then onyx orbs fell on her stark white pelt and he sighed. This was not the time for self-pity. A friend needed him, and he was never a wolf to hurt someone if he could do something to help them. Taking cautious steps forward he laid down beside her.

His proud crania' laid on her neck and he gave her a gentle nuzzle. White body curled around her, his large figure dwarfing hers. It was amazing how well their pelts matched, the white on white. As if they were one being. As he lay next to her, he began to soak up some of her pain, take some of it back.

"Don't worry Baby. I'm here now. No one will ever hurt you again. Not now. Not ever again. Not while I'm here." Justice whispered kind words in her ear, before he opened his maw and words began to flow from his now not so deadly looking muzzle.

"I hear the wind when it sweeps down from the hill,
It speaks to me, when the night is still,
It whispers in my ear,
The words I never hear,
Even when he's near.

I feel the breeze when it blows in from the sea,
It lifts my hair, it caresses me,
It never takes my hand,
To show it understand,
It never touches me, tenderly.

Someday I know I’m gonna climb this hill,
I’ll find a day,
Someother voice to say the words I’ve gotta hear,
If I’m to live, another year…”

[whitewolf]

Larka felt Justices warm body prees against her, then a muzzle on her neck and back. She was slightly taken aback when he called her 'baby', but she didn't show it... And it wasn't like she didn't want him calling her that. the soft song that came to her ears soothed her and she nuzzled Justice. She closed her eyes and the images of flames came back. The flames reached for her body as she tried to flee the circle surrounding her. The orange and red tongues of fire seemed to have come from the pits of h*** as they stretched to reach her. Pain lurched through her body as she leapt through the flames. Her fur did not catch the flames, but her skin was burned as she fled for the mountains. Larka opened her eyes again and looked back up at Justice.

[Justice]

Justice could feel the heat on her pelt. He could tell by the way her body moved, that the flames of hell were reaching out for her. And for a moment he feared she had been lost to him. But then her beautiful eyes had opened and he seemed to be looking into the skies of heaven once more.

So much pain, so much suffering was written in her orbs. But that is where she differed from him. She pushed through the pain and horrors to look at the world through the eyes of an optimist. She had seen something in him, something that had tamed him in a way. She was, in a word, pure.

As black eyes were lost in hers, very slowly the image of his beloved Thunder could be seen. She smiled at him, showed him to love she had always felt for him. But then with a flick of her tail she turned and began to walk away. Without saying a word, she seemed to have realeased Justice from something.

It was then that the brute realized just how close he was to Larka. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. She already had hold on his heart. He was attracted to her body and spirit. And her brilliance baffled him in such a way that he wished to know more about her.

The male who had sworn to never love another, ever again, was looking at this female with something very close to love shining in his dark orbs. Stretching his neck out slowly, his pink tongue flicked out and he licked her nose.

"I'm here for you now. You are my alphess, pack mate, and friend. As long as I have blood running through my veins, no one will ever hurt you again."

The strong words, wither he knew it or not, had tied him to the alphess in such a way that he would never be free of her. She had his life in her paws, and he wouldn't want it any other way.

[whitewolf]

Larka smiled at Justice. Night was dawning upon them and the sky was beginning to turn a deep blue. The first stars had come out from their hiding and already had formed the constellation of the moon goddess, Tor.
The moon smiled down on the pair and Larka looked up at the evening sky.It seemed as though someone had taken dainty particles of light and scattered them across a deep blue canvas. she stood, then shook herself.
"Then come Justice. We shall go to the dens and rest until Tor and Fenris decide we should see the sun again." the spray of water that had come off her pelt looked like fallen stars lying in the grass.
She headed for the light dens, snowy white paws padding the earth very gently. The colorless female's form went on a steady lope, heading for the dens. She turned her head to see that Justice followed.

[Justice]

Justice looked toward the sky, the light of the stars shining in the blackness of his soul that could be seen through his eyes. A shiver ran down his spine and before glancing at Larka he held the moon's gaze.

Coldness seeped in his light paws as he turned and began to make his way toward shore. The dirt from the storm had all washed away now and as the large brute emerged from the waters depths his pelt shone with a brilliance that matched the moon.

As the cold ran down his pillars, to his paws, and onto the ground, he seemed to become a new wolf. Stronger. And then a saying came to his mind, one that he hadn't thought of in forever it seemed.

Stones and Sand. It all depended on how one looked at it. Do you keep a hold of things, like stones in your pockets; or do you hold onto things that should be long lost in your mind, like sand.

So as the brute exited the water he started off at a trot and made after his alphess. Yes, a long nights sleep would do him good. Clear some of this confused inside his skull.