WELCOME TO MAX SEC

17th May – 8.20pm

The evening was still pleasantly warm as dusk slowly chased away all that was left of the spectacular sunset that had bathed the bay in a warm pink glow during the ferry crossing an hour ago. Normally Lane would’ve been home and well on the way to his third or fourth drink by now instead of dragging his feet on a walk that should have taken less than twenty minutes. A couple went by pushing a stroller and Lane studied the guy searching his face for any sign of whatever it was he should be feeling now that fatherhood had been foisted upon him. The man looked back at him, no doubt wondering why he was staring and Lane dropped his gaze to the sidewalk, already dreading the scene of un-domestic bliss he knew would be waiting to greet him when he got home.

He wasn’t disappointed. The minute he stepped out the elevator he heard it, a wall of sound emanating from his apartment like a screaming banshee. For a brief moment he almost turned around. It would be so easy to crash for the night at some cheap motel and call Jodi to say he’d copped an extra shift at the prison. Sorely tempted to do just that he leaned against the wall feeling lower than he’d ever felt in his life.

This wasn’t going to work. If only he could make Jodi see that. Some people just weren’t cut out for parenthood and he was a prime example. He hadn’t wanted kids when he’d been too drunk to use protection ten months ago whilst fucking his girlfriend’s teenage daughter. And his feelings certainly hadn’t changed now his name was scrawled across the birth certificate of the brat currently breaking the sound barrier beyond his front door.

Steeling himself he let himself in, longing for things to be the way they’d been before. Happy days. Jodi fucked out her head waiting for him amidst the bombsite of their home with nothing else to do but get ever more wasted and maybe order a pizza, if either of them were coherent enough to make themselves understood on the phone. The scene was vastly different now. Jodi, hair scraped back in a limp ponytail, eyes dark-rimmed from lack of sleep paced the length and breadth of the living room desperately trying to shush the squalling, crimson-faced infant who paused mid-scream only long enough to puke over Jodi’s shoulder and shoot a stream of curdled baby-sick down her back.

“Hey babe.”

His weary greeting was drowned out by the brat’s lusty cries and Lane made straight for the bar in the corner, praying Jodi wouldn’t try to persuade him to hold the kid as she gamely tried on a daily basis. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the brat far less hold it. And Jodi shouldn’t be in the position of having to be mother to Sasha's kid just because the stupid bitch had been irresponsible enough to get herself knocked up then too damn clueless to get rid of it.

“Shit, I can’t stand another night of this. I’ll call Ashanti and tell her to get over here and take it back to her place for a couple of weeks (aka forever) and give us peace. We’ll go out somewhere, have dinner, catch a movie, get drunk, fuck all night…anything but this. What do you say babe?”

Lane knew it would never happen. Jodi was taking on responsibility for the two of them since he wasn’t man enough to step up to the plate. Swigging from a bottle of vodka he willed Jodi to agree to palming the brat off on Ashanti and tried to ignore the fact his head felt like it was about to explode at any minute.

Lane should have been home by now. The thought echoed in her mind as the baby in her arms screeched at the top of her lungs. There was no calming the child. Jodi felt desperation mounting and had broken down and called her father. Robert Baker was traveling, off checking in at one of his rehab centers. He was busy, too busy for her. That was a bridge her boozing and using had burned. Jodi didn’t know if Lane had stopped off at Davenports for a drink first or if he’d worked late. He hadn’t called her to give her a heads up that he’d be home late. Since the baby had shown up at the doorstep Jodi had quit her part time job at Davenports so that she’d be home with the baby while Lane went to work. They could have been a family, they had the makings of it, but they weren’t anywhere close to being a family.

The longer she waited for him to come home the more she was going to worry. Jodi felt that all she did now was worry. If not over Lane and his refusal to accept his daughter, his coming home late or his drinking. She’d stopped drinking and using, cold turkey, the moment she’d brought the baby inside. The baby still had no name on her birth certificate other than Jane Doe and Jodi didn’t like it. She’d harped at Lane to give her a name and he’d refused to do that too.

It seemed that with each passing minute Jodi waited for Lane to drag his ass back home the louder the baby wailed. Her head was aching and her arms were tired for holding the little one and pacing the living room floor in the hopes of calming her done. Nothing Jodi had tried worked. She was at a complete loss as to what to do. Not only was she dealing with that but there was a strain between her and Lane and she simply couldn’t stomach.

They’d always been close but hadn’t been since the baby had arrived. Jodi felt it not just his daughter Lane was refusing but herself as well. Long gone were their days of drinking, ,drugging and fucking until they were exhausted. Jodi wasn’t putting out she was too tired after dealing with the baby all day to feel sexy. Finally the front door opened and in walked Lane. Jodi’s first response to his being home was to watch him for any signs that he’d stopped off for a drink, or a hit. He didn’t seem high, but on a downer. A bad one at that. Then again he always looked that way when he came home now. His lips moved but Jodi missed what he’d said, the baby squealing had drowned him out and she sighed heavily. She watched as Lane walked right past her and the baby, making a beeline for the liquor.

He hadn’t even kissed her on the cheek in greeting, apparently he couldn’t be bothered to, another reason Jodi had stopped putting out, Lane hadn’t shown any sexual interest in her whatsoever and she missed it, she missed him. Unbelievable Lane spouted off wanting to pawn his daughter off on her grandmother, Ashanti, also Lane’s ex-lover. Jodi bristled and shook her head at him. "That wouldn’t be fair to Ashanti would it? She didn’t knock up Sasha, you did that all on your own," came her sarcastic remark.

Lane did what he did best he hit the fucking bottle. Jodi would have loved nothing better than to drown her sorrows and frustrations but she was too busy tending to Lane’s kid. She was hurting, on edge and utterly exhausted. "Why don’t you sit down, relax, have a few drinks. Hey! You could get high. I’ll take care of Hope." she snapped. No name had been given to the child, she’d been called it and thing by Lane. She’d simply called her baby girl, but a name fell from Jodi’s lips, her hope that Lane would one day be the man she knew he could be, a father.

"I’m tired. I’ve had a long day and she won’t stop crying. DRINK UP LANE I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!" Jodi bellowed at the top of her lungs. Hope cried harder and shivered in Jodi’s arms. Her shoulders slumped and she sat on the edge of a sofa that had seen better days. Hope was cradled to her chest, there was baby puke down the back of her shirt and tears began seeping from Jodi’s eyes. She now refused to look at Lane she was so angry and frustrated, disappointed in him.

Lane shook his head and sent an exasperated glance heavenward when Jodi came out with the same stick she’d been beating him with since day one of the ongoing farce his life had turned into.

“Gee, thanks for reminding me Jodi but there’s really no need. Any time it slips my mind it was me who knocked Sasha up I only have to look at the end result and trust me, it all comes flooding back complete with added sound effects!” Glaring at the screaming infant he gulped back another belt of vodka. “Unfair on Ashanti?" he snorted. "How the hell do you come to that conclusion? She’s its goddamn grandmother, it’s about time she got acquainted with it. Maybe if she hadn’t been so busy turning tricks she'd have noticed her daughter was pregnant and dragged her along to the nearest abortion clinic.”

The baby paused mid-scream and Lane could’ve sworn it understood what he’d just said. He’d always vowed never to turn into his father yet here he was more of a monster than Conrad Devito could ever hope to be. Consumed with self-loathing he swilled back another mouthful of vodka but all it did was burn a fiery trail down his gullet, the hurting part of him went right on hurting, immune to the numbing effect of anything he tried to drown it with.

Jodi started in on him again, pithy sarcasm laced with bitter resentment and why wouldn’t she? She had every right. This was all on him and he deserved every barbed remark she threw at him. This was going to cost him their relationship but he felt like he was watching a train-wreck in slow motion, helpless to stop the carnage. Jodi was doing her best, a lesser woman would’ve been long gone by now but she was hanging in there, not only coping with the demands of young baby but fighting her way back to sobriety at the same time. Lane had no idea how she did it when he couldn’t even force himself to look at the child no matter how boozed up or high he was. He had nothing but admiration at the way Jodi was handling this and he ached to take her in his arms and let her know she was the only thing keeping him from throwing himself off a bridge but the words wouldn’t come. Another swig of vodka tasted as bitter as the scathing come-back he hurled at her.

“Hope, huh? Good choice of name. Here’s hoping she screams hard enough to bust a fucking artery and die!”

The beat of silence that followed was even more deafening than the baby's screams and lane swayed on his feet. Grabbing onto the bar for support he couldn’t believe what he’d just said, worse still, he meant it. If the baby were to draw its final breath right there and then all he’d feel would be abject relief. He knew he’d crossed a line. Jodi’s accusatory yells faded away and she slumped defeated onto the liquor-stained sofa clutching the wailing tot to her chest. The look she shot him cut to the chase but it didn’t hurt half as much as the tears trickling down her pale cheeks.

This couldn’t go on. They were way out of their depth. He was hit by a moment of epiphany as an image of Brett Baeder flashed before him. A normal, likeable guy who suddenly snapped and went on a killing spree in a crowded shopping mall with a Kalishnikov.

He didn’t want to go there but he was perilously close.

“Jodi, we need help…” Scrubbing a hand through his hair he corrected himself. "I need help.” he took out his cell phone, his fingers trembling as he searched through his contacts for Rachel Farnsworth’s number. He’d spoken to her the day before but hadn’t told her just how desperate the situation was, she’d said he could call anytime day or night if things ever reached crisis point. As far as Lane was concerned crisis point had come and gone long ago and suicide was looking like his only option.

“I’m gonna give Rachel Farnsworth a call. I...don't know what else to do.” Throwing Jodi a helpless look he put the bottle down just long enough to make the call.

Jodi was way beyond her wits end when it came to Lane. She was disappointed in him, hurt by his neglect of her. This was not how she’d pictured their life together to be. What they’d formed between them, that close knit bond was strained and fraying. With each passing day she felt she was losing Lane. One day he’d be so far out of reach she’d be unable to pull him back in. She was terrified that they weren’t going to survive this and stay together. Not the way things were headed. Not when he was refusing both his daugher and her. It wasn’t fair to her and it sure as shit wasn’t fair to Hopte.

If Lane found it so simple to hurl hateful comments and accusations at Sasha and her mother Jodi was sure he did the same about her when he wasn’t with her. Did he called her terrible names and bad mouth her around his co-workers at Manfried. Jodi had no way of knowing and in truth she didn’t want to know.

What she did know was that they were falling apart at the seams and she was helpless to do a damn thing to stop it. The harder she tried the more he pulled away from her and Hope. Lane was hardheaded and adamantly refused to budge. There was no changing his mind on the matter of his daughter regardless of her harping at him until she was blue in the face.

Jodi couldn’t believe it when Lane sank to an all time low and spoke of wanting the baby to die. "You sound more like your father every god damn day." She’d have liked to given him children someday but not Jodi was not only reconsidering that but whether she wanted to stay with him at all. He was a spiteful man, and she’d not realized it until that moment. He spoke of their needing help and before she could raise an argument to let him know she needed his help not Rachel’s he’d picked up his phone and began to dial. "I can't believe you said that! And to think I wanted to have your children. NOT ON YOUR FUCKING LIFE PAL!"

Jodi was so upset with him that tears were streaming down her cheeks, her arms trembling as she held tightly to Hope. The baby curled it’s tiny fingers in the ends o fher hair, he was scaring the baby and in truth he was scaring Jodi. Maybe they did need help after all. If anyone could help them surely Rachel Farnsworth could. She was raising Alviirez’s son surely she could help Lane see the error of his ways.

Rachel checked the caller id on her phone before answering. It was growing late in the evening and getting a call at this time was unexpected. She wasn’t the least bit surprised when she saw that it was Lane Devito calling. Rachel had told him to call her, anytime night or day, if he needed her. Apparently things had gotten bad at home for him to be calling her up. Rachel rolled over and put her arms around Jimmy. She pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. "Don’t get up, it’s Lane. He’s needing some help. I shouldn’t be gone long, you have his number if you need me, sweetie.”

She rose from her bed and hastily dressed in jeans and one of Jimmy’s button down shirts, she didn’t waste time tucking it in she pulled on her tennis shoes and hurried out of the house, but not without calling out to Jimmy, "The baby is sleeping, if he gets fussy there’s a bottle in the fridge for him. Back soon, sweetie." Rachel raced out of the house and made a beeline to Lane’s. She pulled up in front, threw the car into park and hauled ass up the walkway. Rachel slowed her pace to catch her breath and knocked on door. Through it she could hear Jodi sobbing and the baby squealing it’s head off. "Lane, honey? It’s Rachel."

After his SOS call to Rachel Lane went through to the bedroom taking what was left of the vodka with him. The relentless screaming together with Jodi’s distress were too much for him to bear and after his callous remark about wishing the baby dead he didn’t think Jodi would want him anywhere near her anyway, and he couldn’t blame her.

Sinking down on the edge of the bed he tilted the bottle to his lips. Just because the liquor was no longer hitting the spot didn’t mean he should give up drinking. He’d heard the expression drinking oneself sober before but had considered it to be an urban myth, until now. A bottle of Valium lay on its side on the nightstand, several of the small blue pills spilling out to join a selection of E’s and Xanax scattered alongside a mascara wand and an old condom wrapper. Lane gathered the pills up and sat staring at them while dark thoughts occupied his mind. He could swallow the lot and chase them down with dregs of vodka and not have to worry about his shitty life for ever more. The temptation was almost too great to withstand. Jodi’s tearful pleas to the baby to please please hush up carried down the hallway both touching his heart and compounding his misery at the same time. How could she not give up? Where did she find the patience not to slam the kid against the wall or shake it until there was no sound but blessed silence. Maybe it was because she was human, filled with the capacity to love and nurture a child she hadn’t given birth to. The thought depressed him and made him feel even more desolate. He must have inherited his father’s genes to be capable of wishing such malice on an innocent child who hadn’t asked to be born. Would it have made any difference if the baby were his and Jodi’s? He thought so but he was too far gone to think straight and it was a moot point anyway.

Screw it. Everybody would be better off without him, he and Riley could get high up on a cloud somewhere he thought to himself with a manic giggle as he brought his hand up to his mouth. Then as if by divine intervention he was distracted from his would-be suicide attempt by the sound of Rachel knocking at the door. Discarding the pills back atop the nightstand Lane lurched down the hallway and threw the door open wide.

“Rachel…I didn’t know what else to do. The kid won’t quit screaming, Jodi’s crying and I’m…I’m at the end of my rope.” he stated the obvious as he staggered back to the living-room with Rachel in hot pursuit.

He could only imagine how fucking chaotic the scene looked to someone like Rachel who was one of the most organized, together people Lane had ever met. Nothing fazed her whether it be Dusty’s kid yelling its nut off full throttle or an inmate having an epic meltdown, she took it all in her stride and somehow managed to keep a smile on her face throughout.

“I need to tell her I love her. I’m so scared she’s gonna walk out. It’s been weeks since I even got close enough to hold her. She has the kid glued to her from morning to night…I can’t get near.” The words came tumbling out one over the other as he hovered near Rachel watching her take the baby from Jodi, giving her a reassuring squeeze as she did so.

Empty-armed Jodi sat hugging herself instead of the baby. Pale and wretched with tears still streaming down her cheeks she averted her gaze looking everywhere in the room but him.

“Jodi, this is all my fault…I’m sorry…so sorry.” he uttered dejectedly, fearing no amount of apologizing would make a blind bit of difference.

Meanwhile a welcome calm replaced the hellish din that normally reigned over them 24/7 as the baby responded well to being handled by someone not worn to a frazzle through stress and lack of sleep.

Noticing a box of Kleenex lurking amongst the debris on the coffee-table Lane held out a wad of tissues to Jodi so she could dry her eyes then looked back at Rachel.

"I want to fix this but I don't even know where to start."

Jodi watched with her mouth gaping open as Lane said nothing further to her. He didn’t rise to the bait she’d dangled in front of him. Silently he’d walked away, turned his back on her yet again. He’d done that same thing so many times here as of late that she’d lost count of how many times he’d done it. When they got to fighting Lane would retreat into their bedroom leaving Jodi no where left to go but to stay in the living room and deal with Hope.

The harder she tried to calm her down the more she wailed. Jodi was clearly at the end of her rope. She sniffled and tears soaked her cheeks. She was shaking her head when the knock sounded at the door. The cavalry had arrived in the form of no other than refined surrogate mother Rachel. If Jodi was half the woman she was she’d have her house in order.

The door wasn’t opened right away for her. Rachel waited patiently for someone to answer the door. She’d expected it to be Jodi as she was heard crying just beyond the door. It wasn’t Jodi that greeted her at the door, it was Lane. He looked like hell warmed over and Rachel could smell the booze on his breath. She was well aware of his propensity for booze, pills and drugs. She wasn’t going to let that cloud her judgement. Both Lane and Jodi were going through a rough time, they needed her not her judgements.

Rachel was calm, cool and collected as she walked into the apartment. The space had seen better days, not just in it’s furniture but the mess inside. Rachel imagined that both Jodi and Lane had their hands full with the baby and all the cleaning had fallen to the way side. Rachel went straight into mom mode and approached Jodi after thanking Lane for letting her in. She did what came naturally and relieved Jodi of her burden, cradling the baby girl against her and crooning softly to her. The baby quieted down and then it was Lane making all the noise. Jodi stood off to the side look as though she felt that she didn’t fit in. Rachel’s heart went out to her.

Her eyes flicked over to Lane and she studied him, gently rubbing Hope’s back while he spoke to her. Lane shared with her that he needed to tell Jodi that he loved her but he’d not been given time with her, not since the baby had arrived. Rachel’s face remained impassive as she listened. Just over Lane’s shoulder she saw Jodi bristling then she was spouting off and joining the conversation. Jodi shot a disbelieving look at Lane. A look of betrayal.

"I’m standing right fucking here, don’t talk about me like I’m not." Her words were cool, unfeeling, she almost sounded numb. Rachel knew the truth she had but to look into Jodi’s eyes to see how much she was hurting. Rachel returned her gaze momentarily to Lane and focused on him for the moment. "Don’t let your fear of her walking out stop you from talking to her. It’s when you push her out and don’t make the effort to talk that you’re hurting her. Look at her, Lane," she replied softly and sweetly, "do you think she’d be that upset if she didn’t love you too?" she asked, shaking her head no gently, answering the question for the both of them.

Rachel was no relationship and she wasn’t the worlds greatest mother but she’d been through this, walked a mile in both of their shoes, to a certain extent with Jimmy, and had come out the other side. She could relate well to how both of them felt. To Jodi’s surprise Lane turned to her and began to apologize. It wasn’t going to be so easy for her to forgive and forget. The damage was done. She wasn’t going to walk out on him but they had some work to do before they were back on the right track. "I’m sorry for a lot of things," Jodi murmured.

Once again it was Lane telling Rachel something he should have been telling Jodi and it infuriated her that he could find both the time and the words now that Rachel was here but when it was the two of them he couldn’t be bothered. The road to getting their relationship back on track was going to be a long and winding one. Rachel did what she did best and took charge, careful not to step on either of their toes in the process. "Then let’s start at the beginning, good enough place to start. Lane, why don’t you and I go settle this sweet girl in for a nap. Jodi, love, would you mind getting us some coffee started? We won’t be drinking any alcohol for the rest of the evening," she looked pointedly at Lane, "will we?"

Lane flinched at Jodi's harsh words, the cold distant tone of her voice sent slivers of dread through him and seemed to confirm his worst fears she was about to call quits on their relationship. He turned helplessly to Rachel at a loss to know how to respond or even if a response was expected. With the cool calm collectedness Lane was now familiar with Rachel told him essentially to keep the lines of communication open no matter how difficult it may be; easier said than done when he could neither get near Jodi nor make himself heard above the constant din of the baby. When Rachel asked if he thought Jodi would be so upset if it weren’t for the fact she loved him he gave a weary shake of his head.

“I don’t know any more. I wouldn’t blame her if she hates my guts.” Catching his lower lip between his teeth he added quietly, “God knows, I hate myself right now enough for both of us.”

His beleaguered booze-addled brain was thrown into further confusion when Jodi then murmured an apology though for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what she had to be sorry about. It took another gentle prompt from Rachel to speak up and talk to Jodi rather than keep it all bottled up inside to jolt him into articulating what was going through his mind.

Locking eyes with Jodi he told her she had nothing to apologize for. She was being the strong one and he loved her all the more for it even if it didn't look like it. Seamlessly, Rachel took full charge without coming across as overbearing, judgmental or patronizing; no small feat when confronted with an ungodly mess such as this. He wanted her to help him, that's why he'd called her after all, but as hard as he tried he was unable to keep from balking at her directive he be the one to assist her in settling the baby.

“I can’t.” he spread his hands out helplessly and gave them both an agonized look. “It's the baby that’s the problem. I don’t want her.” he had to stop himself from yelling at the top of his lungs, I can’t stand the sight of her! It feels like everyone expects me to morph into the proud, doting father at any moment but it just ain’t gonna happen. If she stays I’m going to end up losing it and…hurting her. I’m sorry, I know this isn’t what either of you want to hear but there’s no point in treating it like a big white elephant in the middle of the room and avoiding the issue. I don’t consider myself to be anything more than a sperm donor. I want to put her up for adoption." His tone was resolute as he went on, "...not for any altruistic reason like she’ll go to a family who’ll give her all the love in the world, though I’m all for that. The bottom line is pure and simply that I want her gone, out of my life, forever.”

Focusing his full attention on Jodi he gave her an imploring look.

“Please babe, before you end up getting attached to her, let her go. Can’t you see the longer she stays the rockier our relationship is gonna become? If you want kids then cool, we can talk about it further down the line. A lot further down the line, cause right now I’ve had enough of fatherhood to last me a lifetime.”

At the back of his mind he was acutely aware he was digging a hole the size of Texas in which to bury himself but Rachel wanted straight-talking so no holds barred straight-talking was exactly what she’d get. Addressing her less than subtle reference to his drinking he went across to the bar and managed to locate a bottle of Jodi’s favorite tipple with just enough left to fill a tumbler. Splashing a couple of ice cubes into the glass he weaved his way over to Jodi and did the unthinkable, waving it back and forth under her nose.

“C’mon baby, don’t tell me you actually enjoy sleepless nights and the stench of shit and sour milk. It doesn’t have to be like that.” He took a sip from the glass and ran his tongue over his lips the way he knew drove her wild, or used to. “Come back over to the darkside…you know you want to.”

It was a low and despicable thing to do and as someone who’d fallen off the wagon more times than he cared to recall nobody knew better than him how toxic a person needed to be to actively encourage a loved one to go back to using and boozing. But desperate times called for desperate measures and it wasn’t his fault he’d sunk this low. The cooing little bundle of joy nestled in Rachel’s arms could take full credit for turning him into the kind of monster his good old dad would be proud of.

Jodi had to constantly remind herself that Rachel was here to help, not step on her toes. She’d tried valiantly stepping up to the plate to be a mother to Hope after Sasha had left her on their doorstep. Only only thing Lane was trying to do was drink himself to a stupor which he’d succeeded in time and time again and getting rid of Hope. Hope wasn’t going anywhere unless Jodi went with her and that was that, period. For all Rachel’s help Jodi did feel as though her toes were being stepped on, she was doing her best with Hope but it wasn’t enough, it never was, no matter what she did.

After hearing Lane defend himself, as best he could under the circumstances, Rachel glanced towards Jodi who stood there full of piss and vinegar over being talked about and not being talked to. Rachel smiled kindly at her to soften the blow Jodi must have felt then she returned her attention to Lane. "You’re a father now, there isn’t time to sweat the small stuff. Your time should be directed on your daughter, honey, not hating yourself. You’ll get the hang of this," Rachel informed Lane encouragingly. Jodi scoffed, clearly she doubted Lane as much as he was doubting himself and that certainly wasn’t going to help matters.

While Lane didn’t verbalize his apology he did have an apologetic look in his eye. Jodi shook her head at him. It was going to take a helluva lot more than a look sent her way to get her to forgive him. Right now Jodi was about as far away from forgiveness as was possible. Rachel was doing just what she’d figure Lane wanted. She was being a buffer between them. Jodi seethed inside as she felt they could work out their own problems if he’d give her his attention instead of the bottle. But no, Lane just had to call in reinforcements.

Rachel nibbled on her lower lip with gently rubbing Hope’s back. She seemed to like the motherly touch and had long since settled down. Instead of squealing she was cooing happily. Seeing Rachel’s effect on Hope made her realize just how badly she was failing as a mother. It was gut wrenching and Jodi swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill. Lane was adamant in his position when it came to Hope and that Rachel found worrisome.

"I can see you don’t want her but she needs you, Lane. I can see you want her gone but as adults we have to understand and accept that we aren’t always going to get what we want." Her words may have been harsh but Rachel had spoken them as gently as possible. "I would suggest you look deep inside, Lane. Think of your own upbringing. Your mother and father, how you were treated. Would you honestly want anyone else made to feel the way you were made to feel? That’s what you’re doing here to Hope." Lane needed a wake up call, the sooner the better for everyone involved especially Hope. "You are an adult, you’re going to have to act like one."

Lane may as well have slapped Jodi in the face. She physically reeled back from him as if she’d been struck. In that moment all her dreams shattered, along with her heart. Tears once again trailed down her cheeks and she was unable to look at Lane, doing so turned her stomach. "Don’t hold back tell me how you really feel Lane," Jodi canted back with a wince. His words had hurt, cut her deep. "I just don’t think this....we, are going to work out. You don't love me, you sure as fuck aren't capable of even trying to care about Hope. YOU SELFISH FUCK!" There. She’d said it. Jodi was seeing Lane in a whole new light, he was a selfish bastard who cared not a whit about her, only about himself. "Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree after all." Lane had turned into his father.

Rachel knew this was all beginning to snowball and she was going to have to pull tight the reins and reign them both in before the shit really hit the fan, though she feared it already had and the only way to go from here was down. But...not if she could help it. She was the cavalry and she wasn’t going to let these two people destroy what they had and they weren’t going to bring Hope down with them, simple as that.

Lane did the unthinkable by trying to lure Jodi to the dark side. That’s when Rachel had reached the end of her rope. She wasn’t going to stand idly by and let his happen. She stepped forward and placed herself between the two of them. Jodi was now sobbing openly accusing Lane of never loving her and only wanting someone to drink with and fuck when he managed to get it up. Jodi was beside herself and Lane was oblivious to it. "I can’t do this anymore. I’m not doing this anymore. I've let you use me for the last time and that's what this has always been. You tell me you love me but this isn't love. Never has been has it Lane? Was it that you didn't want to be alone and I was there?" she snapped hatefully at Lane.

Rachel placed a hand on Lane’s shoulder, hitching Hope up on her hip and peering over at Jodi. "I can see how hard you’ve worked to stay sober and drug free for Hope. Don’t lose sight of that now, honey. Stay strong. Hope needs you, Lane needs you. Easy, sweetheart, please try to calm down." Rachel turned her eyes to Lane and there was fire in them. He words to Lane weren’t spoken so kindly as they’d been towards Jodi.

"Okay now stop right there. You aren’t doing this. You aren’t going to drag Jodi down with you, I’m sorry but I’m stepping in and I won’t allow that. Christ, Lane look around you. You’ve got everything. A woman that loves you, a beautiful baby girl. Friends that care about you and come to help when you call. You’ve never had that before I know but you’ve got it now and honey you are dangerously close to losing it all." Jodi piped up then and spoke in a small voice, "I'm so fucking done with all of this bullshit. I know when I'm not wanted. Wore out my welcome when Hope arrived didn't I Lane? I'm going to do what I should have done a long fucking time ago! I'm taking myself out of all this bullshit. I"M TIRED OF IT! Fuck all this and FUCK YOU!" Jodi turned her back on Lane and gave him a heartbroken look before she ran to the bedroom. Jodi slammed the door shut with finality behind her and approached the bedside table where their 'goodies' were kept.

Rachel watched her go with a heavy heart. Now that she was alone with Lane she was going to give him that wake up call he so desperately needed. "I hate to admit when I’m wrong but this time I’m going to have to. I was wrong. I thought you were a stand up kinda guy. I thought you were the opposite of your father but I was mistaken, you’re a chip off the old block. I’m disappointed in you, Lane. You’ve failed not only the one woman that loves you unconditionally but your daughter as well. You need to find a way to deal with this because I promise you this, it’s not going away no matter how badly you want it to. Man up, Lane. I think Jodi is going to walk out on you if you don't do something. For God's sake, Lane just try. That's all you have to do sweetie, just try. Make an effort to do the right thing. I know you have it in you to do that."

Rachel too turned her back on Lane and went into the bedroom to talk some sense into Jodi. She would do what Lane should be in here doing, begging her to stay and try to work things out. Rachel wasn’t too convinced she’d be able to change Jodi’s mind on leaving. Only Lane could do that but was he going to man up and at least try to make a change?

All he’d have to do is be willing to try. Jodi took all the pills out of the drawer and tossed them down the toilet, flushed every last one of them down the toilet. The liquor bottles laying around the floor were gathered them up and dumped their contents down the sink. Rachel stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. She gently rubbed Hope's back as she watched Jodi.

"What are you doing, sweetie?" Rachel asked, sitting down on the edge of the unmade bed. Jodi emptied the last of the bottles then she returned to where Rachel was and sat down beside her. She reached for Hope and Rachel handed the little one off to her. Jodi rested her cheek lightly on the top of Hope's head and wept, her shoulders shaking gently. "Lane doesn't want either of us but God help us, we want him. I can't let him keep doing this to himself. I have to do something. Remove temptations, something. He's better than all this, so much better. I only wished he could see himself the way I see him. I don't want to lose him but I can't stay and keep doing this with him, I just can't."

Jodi was going to take Hope and she was going to leave him. Lane didn't know it but he had one last chance to step up and do the right thing. Jodi didn't want perfection out of him just an effort to make things right, with Hope and with her.

“Think of my own upbringing?” Lane shot Rachel an incredulous look. “I wanted for nothing. Best schools, fast cars, summers spent cruising the Med, winter vacationing in the Caribbean, trips to Aspen in between and an allowance generous enough to buy a small country. Trust me I had the perfect upbringing but I would’ve traded it all for parents who cared enough to spend more than five minutes in my company before palming me off on a succession of nannies. Don’t you see a pattern here? History is going to repeat itself. Maybe not the lap of luxury part but the lack of attention and love, hell yeah, I have that down pat.”

He might as well have pulled the pin out a live grenade going by Jodi’s enraged reaction. This time he didn’t flinch as she railed at him at the top of her lungs calling him a selfish fuck along with a few other choice names. He’d tried apologizing and telling her he loved her but it was no use, he could see the maternal gene had well and truly kicked in and the baby was now her number one priority. Knowing he couldn't compete with the allure of a cute baby he took the abuse she hurled at him in stoic resignation right up to the bit about his performance problems in the bedroom. That was a blow too low for any man to take and he lashed out with a vitriolic outburst of his own.

“Hold on just one goddamn minute! You stand there like some paragon of fucking virtue when less than a couple of months ago you had your hand wrapped around Danny Austin’s cock, jerking him off in full view of half the damn prison! You might think just cause you’re rocking the latest mini-me fashion accessory on your arm you can come across all Madonna-like but once a party girl always a party girl!”

It was the drink coupled with desperation talking but the situation had spiraled out of control and the only one who appeared perfectly content and happy was the root cause of the shitstorm in the first place. The brat. Lane was hating the tiny being more and more with every passing second. Rachel, bless her, was working flat out to keep a lid on things but this was a crisis an army of UN mediators would take one look at and walk away from the table as fast as their legs could carry them. Jodi unleashed another volley of abuse at him before storming through to their bedroom while Rachel sought to bring him to his senses by way of a massive guilt-trip.

“Save it Rachel.” he replied tersely, draining the glass of Jack he’d failed to tempt Jodi into succumbing to. “You gave it your best shot but it’s no use. Don’t feel bad, can’t win ‘em all.”

Giving him a look of profound disappointment Rachel shook her head and went to find out what Jodi was doing stomping back and forth between the bedroom and bathroom. Like a homing pigeon Lane drifted back to the bar to top up his blood alcohol level then texted Ashanti just to remind her she’d neglected to call round and take possession of the brat her daughter had so thoughtfully dumped on his doorstep. He knew Ashanti would just delete the text and pay no mind to it but sending it made him feel better so he didn't hold back. After ten minutes of stewing in his own juices he took himself and his drink to the bedroom and regarded Jodi and Rachel from his vantage point leaning against the door.

“So counselor before you lob all that shit at me again about manning up maybe you’d be good enough to explain how come a woman can give birth and for whatever reason decide she doesn’t want to keep the kid so she signs it over for adoption and walks out the hospital to get back on with her life no problemo. Yet when a guy, as in moi, tries to do the self-same thing it’s a big fat no-no and he’s a heartless bastard for even entertaining such a notion.”

He took a sip of his drink and looked at Jodi baby glued right back in her arms again as per usual.

“Congrats Jodi, you win. You get the cigar and the babee. She’s all yours. Don’t worry I’ll do the ‘honorable thing’ and support you both but that’s as far as it goes; no visitation or progress reports because - read my lips - I. Don’t. Give. A. Shit.”

Draining his glass he went over to the closet and began stuffing some things in a sport bag willing Jodi to change her mind and choose him over the baby she was clutching to her chest with all the ferocity of a lioness with her cub.

Rachel didn’t dare interrupt Lane’s spiel. She held her tongue and focused her undivided attention on the frustrated father. His words were heated and barbed but she felt no sting from them. Lane was hurting and he lashed out at the person nearest him in proximity which just so happened to be her. Once he’d stopped to take his breath Rachel inclined her head at him and spoke softly yet firmly. "You’re a good man, Lane. You said it yourself. You’d have given anything, hell....everything to have parents that wanted you and didn’t pawn you off. Think hard, Lane, would you wish that on anyone else? Especially a child that you helped create?"

His attention was swiftly relegated to Jodi and he spit fire right back at her. Rachel had fully expected Jodi to take offense at what Lane had thrown at her but in that moment Jodi didn’t appear ready to back down, yet. A fury came across the features of her face. Jodi stood a little bit straighter and squared her shoulders off before she gave Lane a piece of her mind. Rachel wasn’t sure she could help them when it came to their relationship problems but she was confident that if Lane was willing to try she could help ease him into the role of father hood.

Jodi’s eyes snapped fire at Lane and when she spoke there wasn’t an ounce of emotion whatsoever in her voice. "When compared to a Devito? You’re god damn right I’m a paragon of virtue. I don’t skip out on my fucking responsibilities. I have bigger balls than you do Lane. I know how to suck it up and do what is expected of me. So...it’s not just the bedroom you have trouble manning up after all." Deep down Jodi was sickened by the words bursting from her lips but she was already hurting and Lane was driving that nail even deep with each hateful word that he spoke.

"Don’t bring Danny into our problems. It’s not his fault we’re in this shit. This all lays in your lap, sweetheart," she bit out sarcastically, "Rachel, Lane’s right, I did jerk Danny off, he wanted me to, he gave me what I needed, attention. Lane can’t be bothered, he’s too busy hitting the fucking bottle. I was a party girl, that’s true. But unlike Lane I was able to pull myself out the bottle and be an adult." Her eyes cut back over to Lane. "The only thing you’re rocking is the drunken loser, piece of shit, just like his daddy vibe and believe me it’s not impressive. It’s pretty fucking pathetic, you’re pathetic."

Rachel was an intelligent woman and knew when she was beat. In this case it was game over before she’d had a chance to begin to offer this fledgling couple the help that they so desperately needed. It was going to take more than what she could offer them to get past all this anger to the root of the matter and bring them back together.

"I can’t help you, hit the nail on the head, Lane. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone out there that can’t. Let me look into it. See if I can’t find someone more capable than I to help you and Jodi set things to rights."

In the wake of Jodi’s dramatic exit Lane fired off a question at Rachel and she thought long and hard about it before answering. She wasn’t going to sugar coat things it wouldn’t help any of them if she did. "I can’t explain that, we both know that. But I’m not here to help just anyone, I’m here to help you. I know what your upbringing was like and I know how painful it was for you. All I’m trying to get you to understand is that for all the hate you feel towards your father you’re so willing to let another generation go through what you’ve gone through. It doesn’t have to be a viscous circle, you can break it. That’s up to you."

Jodi hadn’t known that Lane was standing in the doorway until he went and opened his big mouth. He made it clear just where he stood, not just with where things were with Hope but with Jodi as well. Rachel’s heart lurched as Lane began gathering up his belongings. Her eyes shot immediately over to Jodi and their was a pleading look in them for Jodi to be the bigger person here and stop Lane from walking out.

Jodi’s heart plummeted then it shattered. Her shoulders sagged and she placed a protective hand over Hope’s back. Her words volleyed back to Lane were clear, precise and completely emotionless. "Finally after all this time you’re being honest, better late than never. We don’t want nor do we need your money, keep it, you’ll need it for your booze and blow. I don’t want to see you again and it’s best if Hope isn’t around you so you won’t be expected to visit. The rest of your things are in the closet, don’t forget them."

She broke down and sobbed. Hope clung to the ends of her hair and began wailing once again. Jodi rose to her feet to start walking, pacing the room and bobbing Hope to calm her. Her eyes never went back to Lane, she stared at her feet. "Take your booze, your blow, pills, all of it and get the fuck out." Jodi left the bedroom and walked down the short hallway to the bathroom.Once inside she slammed the door and leaned her hip against the sink nursing her broken heart.