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 The Official Mall Fight Thread: 1st Edition, The Series Has Landed
Martintox
Posted: Dec 15 2011, 11:00 PM


Time Waster Extraordinaire
*

Group: Master
Posts: 59,647
Member No.: 1
Joined: 10-December 11



Developped by Valve and 67 albino monkeys!

Sponsored by the Knights who say Ni!

Brutally murdered by the Rogue MageSmiths!

SAY HELLO TO THE

OFFICIAL MALL FIGHT FORUM MALL FIGHT THREAD!

Part of a complete breakfast.

Yes, my friends, here is what the damn forum is for!

Simple premise: Everyone is stuck in a giant unescapable mall, and your goal is to kill everyone you see with anything you want! The Mall is filled with just about any kind of store. For example, a bust of Snoop Dog in a sailor uniform. Plus, you have infinite respawns, because if you could only live once, it wouldn't be fun.

There are only a few rules you will need to obey:

1.No godmodding.

2.No spawnkilling/revengekilling the person that killed you a moment ago.

3.Don't be an asshole.

That's it.

QUOTE
Mall Fight 1
Mall Fight 2
Mall Fight 3
Mall Fight 4


LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

I burst inside the Mall, and simultaneously claim it's virginity.
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Cool Guy
Posted: Dec 15 2011, 11:05 PM


Original Cool Guy
*

Group: Master
Posts: 6,553
Member No.: 3
Joined: 10-December 11



Somewhere, I walk down a Getho street in NYC, holding a simple Yoo-Hoo can. For some reason, my point in reality is a constant, along with all the gods who have stayed. I walk up to my apartment, go past the destroyed front door, and walk into the living room, which houses a Writer teleporter to the new thread. I activate it, and teleport into the mall at the exact point in the continuity everyone else was still at.

"OK, back in the past in a alternate timeline. This is just dandy." I walk around looking for someone to kill, them being pretty fucked going up at me and my high levelness.
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Martintox
Posted: Dec 15 2011, 11:11 PM


Time Waster Extraordinaire
*

Group: Master
Posts: 59,647
Member No.: 1
Joined: 10-December 11



I kick a bear in the face!

user posted image

Or at least I would.

Instead, I get myself some shotgun parts and soda cans. I create a shotgun that can now shoot cans with more or less precision.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 03:15 AM


Unregistered









I run into the Mall carrying a purse. "Hey. This looks fun."
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RaNDM
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 04:20 AM


Gary Sue
*

Group: Elder Fighter
Posts: 725
Member No.: 5
Joined: 11-December 11



I step inside the Mall and see a Goth with a purse.

"This is stupid."

I leave.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 04:39 AM


Unregistered









I tackle RaN. "I am emo, damn it!' and proceed to beat him to death with my purse. It is slow and painful and very embarrassing.
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RaNDM
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 05:11 AM


Gary Sue
*

Group: Elder Fighter
Posts: 725
Member No.: 5
Joined: 11-December 11



Eric's tiny purse does a miniscule amount of damage.

"Okay, lemme get this straight."

"You're a bisexual with a ball obsession."

"You prefer the company of lolis."

"You have an extremely poor taste in film."

(Note of Tox: And music!)

"You're emo."

"And you rap about being a bisexual with a ball obsession who prefers the company of lolis, has an extremely poor taste in film, and is emo."

"David Bowie, ladies and gentlemen."

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBBdyVQchWQ[/YOUTUBE]

"You can kill me now."

I die.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 05:51 AM


Unregistered









"The Crow is still the best film ever..."
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Cool Guy
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 05:59 AM


Original Cool Guy
*

Group: Master
Posts: 6,553
Member No.: 3
Joined: 10-December 11



Hmmmm, Eric and RaN are fighting again. What do I do.

I know! Octagon!

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7jpz_55EdM[/YOUTUBE]
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 06:11 AM


Unregistered









"RaN is just jealous that I am incredibly hot."
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Knife-28
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 06:21 AM


The Eater of Tentacles and Viewer of Dog Penis
*

Group: Elder Fighter
Posts: 620
Member No.: 4
Joined: 11-December 11



I walk into The Mall, slap Tox, then hit Connor over the head with an Octagon, then walk off.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 06:34 AM


Unregistered









"Ooooh, someone just got Octagonned."
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Cool Guy
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 07:03 AM


Original Cool Guy
*

Group: Master
Posts: 6,553
Member No.: 3
Joined: 10-December 11



"Eric, that is a terrible pun." I say.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 10:45 AM


Unregistered









"I respect your opinion." I say while setting fire to RaN's corpse. "Who wants pancakes?"
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Cool Guy
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 11:11 AM


Original Cool Guy
*

Group: Master
Posts: 6,553
Member No.: 3
Joined: 10-December 11



"Meh, I just had a Yoo Hoo in an alternate timelin-OH DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD!" and everything gets awkward.

Then I have pancakes with Eric anyways.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 11:29 AM


Unregistered









"Mmm, syrupy."
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Cool Guy
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 11:35 AM


Original Cool Guy
*

Group: Master
Posts: 6,553
Member No.: 3
Joined: 10-December 11



"The fact that I'm from a dead timeline isn't a problem for you?" I tell Eric as I chew on some bacon strips.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 11:43 AM


Unregistered









"Why should it? I think you are a cool guy regardless."
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Cool Guy
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 12:07 PM


Original Cool Guy
*

Group: Master
Posts: 6,553
Member No.: 3
Joined: 10-December 11



"Oh, whatever then." I stand up from the floor we were eating pancakes on and say, "It is my sole duty to makes sure this timeline isn't as full of fuck as the last one, and I will make sure of it!" and I walk off ironically non-epically to a computer and post on the Mall Fight forum game on the Escapist.
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 12:18 PM


Unregistered









"I wonder what kind of plots this Mall Fight will bring us." I say as I sit next to Cool Guy at the cyber pancake house. "I hope there are little girls. And bad guys. And Doctor Who references. Well, I guess it is our time to find out."

I grab Cool Guy and run out of the pancake house, shouting "ALLONS-Y!" as I jump up in the air and freeze in a static photo like the kind that ends sitcoms.
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WafflesandBacon
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 04:28 PM


Dominatrix of The Humvee Sex Dungeon
*

Group: Master
Posts: 8,388,607
Member No.: 2
Joined: 10-December 11



I crash through the doors of the Mall, see an Army Surplus store and enter.

I collect a grenade launcher, and a SMG. Then my caught a beautiful Humvee, "Shit is awesome now."

I then go on a vehicular massacre.
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Martintox
Posted: Dec 16 2011, 09:13 PM


Time Waster Extraordinaire
*

Group: Master
Posts: 59,647
Member No.: 1
Joined: 10-December 11



I jump inside the Humvee and throw Waffles out of it by using QTE technology.

I then crash into a tree and explode.
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Cool Guy
Posted: Dec 17 2011, 02:09 AM


Original Cool Guy
*

Group: Master
Posts: 6,553
Member No.: 3
Joined: 10-December 11



I hate sitcoms, and I show Eric this video explaining why.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS28EUWt8dE[/YOUTUBE]
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Martintox
Posted: Dec 17 2011, 03:16 AM


Time Waster Extraordinaire
*

Group: Master
Posts: 59,647
Member No.: 1
Joined: 10-December 11



I respawn in the pancake house, and I shoot Eric down with my Soda Shotgun.

"What is the deal with jumping in the air and freezing in a static photo?" (Me)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V2sBURgUBI[/YOUTUBE]
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TheDarkEricDraven
Posted: Dec 17 2011, 03:34 AM


Unregistered









I respawn. "You guys watch all the sucky sitcoms. Sienfield is awful. Seriously, what ever happened to predictability, the milk man, the paper boy, evening TV?"
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