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| Rika Katsu The Dark Soul Angel |
Posted: Jan 7 2009, 08:58 AM
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Intraining Group: Members Posts: 16 Member No.: 7 Joined: 7-January 09 |
TAMER
Name: Rika Katsu Age: 19 Years old Occupation\Schooling: A freshmen in collage, studying Theater Arts at "The American Institute Of Dramatic Arts" Location: Los Angeles, California Digivice appearance: Her digivice is oval shaped and has a round screen it has two buttons side by side, and a clip on top. there is a card reader on the bottom. On the side is an extra button that makes the digivice slide, making a keyboard visible. It is a bright Lilac color, along with a dull silver color, the whole digivice is scratched and damaged. In the back of it is an engraving that says "thank you..." in the digital world writing. It is unknown why it is truly there. Physical Appearance: Rika Katsu is 5'7", with a normal body type. She has a "F" cup breast size. She's half German, and half French with blonde hair down to her mid back, she usually wears it in two braids. She is quite an active person, but hates to run either way. She can be found most of the time wearing a black skirt and a brightly colored tank top, usually purple. She can some times be found wearing capris, nothing more. Her favorite shoes are black flats with a red broken heart on the top of them. Personality: Rika Katsu can be hyper, clingy, and just plain weird at times, but all that "weirdness" is a cover up. Her true personality shows through to people she really trusts, which don't come along very often. She suffers from depression, and is advised to take medication, which she hates to take. She avoids loving people, for she is afraid of loss. But that doesn’t change her much, She cares for anyone she meets, unless they are total jerks to her. She also has the tendency to fall on the floor, due to her ankle, which gives out a lot. She likes riddles, games, and usually likes to help people. She want's to be an actor after collage. Background History: Her life consists of School, Auditions, and spending time in her apartment. When she was little she was abused and raped by some guy on the street, she was 8 years old at the time, and still deals with flashbacks. Her mother died when she was 15, and she never knew her dad. She was picked on all middle school, she then tried to commit suicide by drug overdose, she survived, some guy found her in time to save her, His identity is still unknown. She has tried to get info on him, but the doctor has nothing on him. ((Anyone can use him as there person if wanted)) In high school her popularity status raised, and she found some close friends. After that she attended The American Institute Of Dramatic Arts. She has some issues in trusting people, but is trying to trust more People. She lives on her own in a one room apartment, but that's all she needs! Registration Story: The bright lights shined on Rika's skin, a drip of sweat dripped down her cheek as she watched the man who was her critic. He took off his glasses then placed them down along with his pen. "I'm sorry Ma'am but I'm just not shure your quite what we are looking for... we need someone slightly taller...,and less....blonde..." He said looking up at her, a glass of water placed at his hands. Rika smiled as she pulled her hair in to a tight ponytail. "Yes sir! Sorry sir!" She said bowing, 'another audition... failed.' she thought "You can play maid number 6.! We can be lenient for her actress!" He said as he leaned back in his chair. "No thank you sir....Thank you anyways!" She smiled and walked off the stage. "Oh well, maybe next time!" He said as she left quietly. "Damn it...." Rika said with a sigh as she walked out to the dark streets of Los Angeles. "I've tried so hard...! I guess it's back to the books..." Her eyes watered as she hugged a duffle bag tightly in her arms. Suddenly her foot slipped from under her, and everything went black. "Is she okay?!" "What happened to her...?!" "I don't know she just collapsed" "I'm calling the ambulance!" Rika opened her eyes, everything was still blurry, there were people surrounding her, all of which were not clear images. They were all mumbling, only some sentences’ could be heard. "W-what's going on...?" Rika asked, looking at the closest person. "Is she okay!?" "I don't know... she's still out cold..." Rika sat up and yelled "NO! I'M AWAKE! SEE!" "They can't hear you..." Said a strange voice behind her. Rika turned quickly to see where the voice came from, the only voice that was as clear as her own. There stood a creatures who was completely clear, among the random blur of people. "What are you, And What's going on!?" Rika said with a slight tone in her voice. She could now see lights flash arrowed her, which could only be the ambulance. "I'm a Digimon... you can call me Lunamon, I will be your partner for a while!" It said in a soft sweet voice "and don't worry you'll be fine your just between worlds at the moment... You'll gain conciseness very soon... but until then, I'll stay here." Lunamon said siting down next to her. "Between worlds...?" Rika was confused "Your world and the digital world..." "...Oh... What is the digital world...?" The People arrowed her started to come back in to focus, Lunamon started to fade. "What's going on...?!" "looks like your waking up! But I'll see you later, I'll give your more information then..." Lunamon stood up and smiled. Rika blinked and everything came back into focus. "Are you okay Ma'am!?" A lady next to her asked "What..." Rika replied "you fell! Are you okay!?" Another person said "Y-yeah....." Rika looked arrowed "but she's gone..." "who's gone...?" Rika looked up at the person who asked the question "...Never mind... It's nothing...!" Rika smiled knowing there was a new adventure in the future!~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ DIGIMON Name: Moonmon Rank: In-training Type: Data Health: 15 Strength: 10 Defense: 20 Special: 10 Speed: 10 Stamina: 10 Physical Description: Lunamon, The Rookie stage Is a bunny like digimon with big ears and two diffrent shades of pink, A dark shade of lavender, and a yellow color. She has an intenna on her head. Personality: Loyal and kind, She helps everyone! She hates to be alone, and loves to cuddle alot. She is true to her word, and will help anyone in need. She first apeared to Rika when she was stressed and she fell unconsous, hitting her head, soon later she showed up in Rika's room. She seems weak at first glance but is truly strong! |
| Zhuqiaomon |
Posted: Jan 7 2009, 08:42 PM
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Admin of the Southern Gate Group: Admin Posts: 9,045 Member No.: 3 Joined: 3-December 08 |
At first I was hesitant when your name was Rika but since you havea different everything else it's alright.
Where as your idea seems original enough and your length is well met, you have several gramatical errors; starting with capitalization and ending with punctuation. There are also several spacing errors through out. If you run this through MS Word or Open Office you'll begin to see what I mean. |
| Rika Katsu The Dark Soul Angel |
Posted: Jan 7 2009, 09:11 PM
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Intraining Group: Members Posts: 16 Member No.: 7 Joined: 7-January 09 |
Rika Katsu was a character I have had for a long time now, It was before season three that I first used the name.
I was up all night last night typeing it, so there is more errors than I would have normaly. Should I fix It? |
| Zhuqiaomon |
Posted: Jan 7 2009, 09:15 PM
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Admin of the Southern Gate Group: Admin Posts: 9,045 Member No.: 3 Joined: 3-December 08 |
Ya. Plot and length come second to grammar and spelling in the registration process.
You'll also want to clean up your dialog and do some proof reading to catch mistakes like putting "classes" instead of "glasses." |
| Rika Katsu The Dark Soul Angel |
Posted: Jan 7 2009, 10:51 PM
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Intraining Group: Members Posts: 16 Member No.: 7 Joined: 7-January 09 |
Okay! Is that better! XDDD
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| Zhuqiaomon |
Posted: Jan 7 2009, 11:21 PM
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Admin of the Southern Gate Group: Admin Posts: 9,045 Member No.: 3 Joined: 3-December 08 |
It is much better but you still have several mispelled words, like weird and aloud being spelled wrong, and punctuation errors. In some places you're using commas where they're not needed and in other place you put a period right next to exclamation makrs and other punctuation points.
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| Rika Katsu The Dark Soul Angel |
Posted: Jan 7 2009, 11:29 PM
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Intraining Group: Members Posts: 16 Member No.: 7 Joined: 7-January 09 |
GAHHH! XDD
I'll fix it again... XDD EDIT: XDDD Fixed |
| Zhuqiaomon |
Posted: Jan 8 2009, 12:41 AM
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Admin of the Southern Gate Group: Admin Posts: 9,045 Member No.: 3 Joined: 3-December 08 |
Looks fine to me but I'm gonna have Azulongmon or Ebowomon take a look at it also just to make sure things are good.
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| Rika Katsu The Dark Soul Angel |
Posted: Jan 8 2009, 12:52 AM
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Intraining Group: Members Posts: 16 Member No.: 7 Joined: 7-January 09 |
Okay! ^^
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| Azulongmon |
Posted: Jan 8 2009, 02:19 AM
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Intraining Group: Members Posts: 18 Member No.: 2 Joined: 2-December 08 |
Not bad, only thing I can really suggest is that you work on lengthening your paragraphs and put in some more description. But that'll come with time and practice.
Get a copy ready for your profile and get started on your journey into the digital world! |
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