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<i>God gave me you for the ups and downs..and for when I think I lost my way there are no words here left to say. It's true God gave me you.</i><p>

It was quite possibly the saddest song he could think of to play, but that was the point. He didn't want to be happy. He didn't want to cheer up. He didn't want people telling him that he <i>needed</i> to do any of it. Rather, Lachlan wanted to stay just how he was because at least like these he still felt like he had someone there worth clinging to. As pathetic an as sad as it was, at least feeling miserable was still feeling something for her. Inwardly he rolled his eyes at the thought because he was not this pathetic love-sick guy. In fact, if his friends (well if he hadn't gotten rid of all of them and tossed them aside like second rate news he'd still have friends), would never let him live it down. They'd constant badger him about how much of a sappy romantic he was and he might as well find his vagina, which then just pissed him off all the more even though this was a fictional scenario in his head. It rang true though to what would happen and that imaginary situation just pissed him off. See, this is what she had done to him. It was all her bloody fault he had become a useless sop who wanted to do little to nothing on a day to day basis aside from drink and fill up a random woman who wasn't her because at least that topless woman didn't make him feel like less of a person for falling for her or less of a person for getting wasted off of his arse because she died. Yeah, I don't know it really didn't make any sense to him either, which was probably related to the mass amount of alcohol that he had consumed withint he hour. So much so that as the song continued on playing he loudly sang along to it, not in tune and not in a particularly lovely voice. It sort of sounded like a dying bird, maybe a swallow -- whatever dying swallows sound like. Either way, Lachlan's state right now could only be described as a death march, an equally pathetic death march into another bottle of liquor. It was practically the only thing that kept him going these days. Thank God for small miracles yeah?<p>

<i>You always be love's great martyr and I'll be the flattered fool. I need you. God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me for the days of down yeah for when I think I've lost my way. There are no words here left here to say, it's true God gave me you. On my own I'm only half of what I could be. I can't do without you. We are stitched together and what love has tethered I pray we never undo.</i><p>

His rendition was rather slurred by this point, and it was a very good thing that he was sitting down because it was not like he would do very well standing. He'd been drunk enough prior to this to know that he was not wasted by any means, but he also knew enough to know that if he stood up he would feel it a lot more than he would sitting down. Besides it wasn't his fault that he was drunk. Waley had been on his ass all day about not knowing what he was doing, and honest to God if it weren't Waley that was running off at the mouth he probably wouldn't have just agreed and went along with it because he didn't want the hassle of being their nominated hero. However, this was Waley that they were talking about and well they had so much <i>fun</i> history together that no matter how much Lachlan didn't want the job he wasn't just going to hand it over to him on principle. Not because he cared about anyone aside from himself, no that was not it. If he had it his way they'd all abe shoving off within the hour, but because he didn't want Waley ordering him about he was going to disagree, which then caused this nice little split in the group. It was like the world was working against him. Really. Raising the bottle to his mouth out of habit rather than desire to drink more, he paused and looked up finally noticing someone was there, and not just any someone the bitch who happened to have been the cause of his three nights in jail, just wonderful. This is exactly what he needed on top of everything else. Rather than acknowledger her, which was more than childish but he didn't care, he titled the bottle up and took a rather unnecessarily large swig of it for her benefit alone. <p>

And the next words that came to his mind but which were not spoken out loud: <i>Fuck off.</i>


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Maddy was sitting alone. Dreye's Cattle farm was huge, Maddy wouldn't be surprised if the owner had his own panic room and was living merrily beneath them as they all suffered. The tree house Maddy had found was old, the nails at rusted out and it rattled as she climbed its decomposing ladder. But it was quiet up here, it was small and cosy, and strangely enough felt kind of safe even though it was largely exposed. She felt like a little kid again, the days of princesses and unicorns, where everything was innocent and the world was safe and beautiful. Oh how things have changed. She didn't realise that she was crying until she felt a tear drip onto the skin of her leg. <i>Damn.</i> She had been trying so hard not to remember what had happened. But the images were strong. No matter how hard she tried to block them out they just kept coming. The crash, the flash of the gun shots, the <i>noise</i> and the warmth of her mother's blood and it pooled beneath her. Maddy was lucky that she was yet to eat, because her stomach tried to upheave at the very thought. Her mother was <i>dead</i>. They were words that she hadn't been able to say out loud, least of all to Waley.<p> Hell she even had a hard time thinking those words. But what good could come from saying it out loud? This was war now, everyone had lost family, everyone had lost friends and loved ones, even if they haven't been able to bury them yet.Yet still, everyone around her chose to do nothing, they chose to sit back and hide and cower in the cattle farm. It was pathetic. Weren't Australian's supposed to be battlers? Weren't they supposed to fight for what was theirs? Maybe not, Australian's were originated from English convicts after all, so they must all have a little bit of tea and crumpets pansiness in them. Wiping the tears away, Maddy jumped from her hideaway into the soft over grown grass. <b>"Fuck"</b> She said outloud to no one in particular as she made her way over to the cattle station. But someone caught her attention, as he often did these days. She owed him, she knew she did. But you'd think he'd be thankful for her giving up her own cash to bail him out. You'd think he would want to at least act a bit grateful towards her.<p>

<b>"Ugh."</b> Maddy exclaimed as she made her way towards him. <b>"Where in God's name do you keep on finding that stuff?... Thought you'd have drunk it all by now."</b> Her voice was harsh - insulting. Out of every one the farm, Lockie was the one to get on her nerves the most, and that's saying something if you count the overhyperactive Riley who just never knew when to stop functioning. She looked at him for a second, before sitting right down next to him. What was it about this guy that just had her coming back? It definitely wasn't his charm... or his hygiene. Nor was it his dazzling good looks, even though Maddy had to admit - he wasn't too bad. He just seemed different, he seemed like he was worth fighting for - he looked like he was the type of guy who could make a difference. Yet here he was, getting drunk.



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<i><b>"There is a different between thinking and hoping. One clearly negates the other,"</b></i> he meandered off and not paying her too much attention. It was something he had grown used to seeing as how he did not really know why he stepped in. For ages now he had kept to himself and let people do what they liked. That was just his new life's motto that he decided he would live by, but things had changed that one night that he intervened, and now even though he was regretting ever having met Madeline Cooper or her sorry-good-for-nothing-shit father, excuse me step-father, he had still stepped in that night and helped her out. Lachlan had decided that he had done it merely to stir up a bit of trouble, because that's what horrid depressed blokes like him did. They got into other people's business and went to jail and got public drunk and charged for assaulting police officer. It was all a part of his big plan to become the talk of the town. Right, that's exactly why he did what he did so that he could be the gossip of the lady's salon. That's exactly what he cared about. No, that wasn't his intentions, but the point of the matter was that he had done what he did without even second guessing himself and he did not understand why. Maybe seeing a girl in trouble, it was only natural to help her out, but he had long since then given up that moral mentality -- however there were a few lingering embers still to be had. It was nothing that he couldn't get rid of in the long run, right?<p>

Closing his eyes for one moment, Lockie leaned back in his seat only to open his eye in the next few moments and see if she was there. Lucky for him, she was -- thus, making him realize that she was not going anywhere. Had he been more observant he might have seen the tear-stains on her cheek. Hell, maybe he had but he had resolved himself not to get involved, so mentioning it would only go against everything he had told himself he was not going to do when it came to this girl and her problems. It wasn't his issue. They weren't his problems, but still he did the only thing he knew how to because the entire situation was making him feel uncomfortable with a crying girl beside him. Perhaps it was his already alcohol induced state -- which is exactly what he would pin it on later on no doubt -- but he handed her the bottle of liquor in his hand. Maybe she wouldn't be so annoying if the both of them were knackered. <i><b>"Don't drink it all."</b></i> For him, in this state, it was a nice gesture. Lets just hope that she didn't get it in her mind that she'd pour the bottle's contents out right in front of him. Not even she could be that cruel when he was putting up so much effort to be cordial and not say what was on his mind. <i><b>"Why are you up here slumming it, legs. I thought you'd be organizing an attack or ordering people about? Get sick of trying to fight a losing battle?"</i></b>





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Why was she even wanting to promote this guy? For fucks sake. Maybe she was starting to see what everyone else didn't see in him. But the sad thing about it all, was that she actually saw a bit of herself in him. A bit of that arrogance, a bit of that insecurity so tightly rolled up in a blanket and stored in a trunk wrapped in chains. He was defensive, and rude - but it didn't matter. Lockie hated the world for a reason, and Maddy just hasn't quite worked it out yet. Maybe it was a gene defect - she never had met his parents, maybe they were all just the same. But even as she looked down at him, in her befuddled state, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him, and annoyance. It was that mystery sorrow that had her not biting his head off - not literally anyway. Maddy rolled her eyes at him, so he was an asshole, but now he was a <i>pretentious</i> asshole too. Great. She didn't reply, she just stood there staring at him trying to once again figure him out. But it only took a moment for Maddy to give up. There was no figuring him out, he was a shell that couldn't be cracked. Unless you know, you have a nice set of tits and he had had his usual dose of liquor. It was a pity Maddy got her tits from her father.<p>

But then he pulled a move that she never would have predicted. Maddy took the label-less bottle and took a swig before even attempting to question the situation. Maddy took another sip as she sat down next to him. She tried to laugh at him. <b>"Well then you shouldn't have given me the bottle."</b> She took another larger sip before she handed it back to him. Despite her want to just drink herself silly and pass out in the closest hay stack, Maddy couldn't do it. There was that nagging voice in the back of her mind, the one that sounded suspiciously like her mother that was telling her to keep a clear mind - to be ready to <i>run</i>. And you can't quite run if you're knees are buckling beneath you. <p>

<b>"No one would listen to me if I tried."</b> Maddy huffed as she pushed the hair back from her face. <b>"Bunch of sexists assholes, the whole bloody lot of them."</b> It was true. In crisis situations everyone looked towards the closest authoritative male and followed his every beckoned call. It was pretty much the only reason why Maddy hadn't given up on Lockie, that and her step-father would get them all killed, instantly. <b>"And it's not a losing battle...sure they have guns...and soldiers... and planes....and bombs... but we're alive. That's got to count for something doesn't it?"</b> Maybe she was saying her philosophical thoughts out loud but she couldn't help herself. No one here seemed to want to talk about what was going on around them. They all seemed content to ignore it and play a real life re-run of Pleasantville.



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She had a point, for some reason unbeknownst to him, people seemed to want to follow Waley around or him for that matter. Most people had taken to his approach of just lounging about though. Why he did not know -- it wasn't like had asked for the title of team leader. He did not think that he appeared like he would save lives if things got tough, so why people wanted to look up to him was a mystery. If anything, Madeline seemed like the who wanted to organise them together, buil weapons and plan attacks -- or you know whatever she had it in her mind to do at any given time. Lachlan made a note that when she started to talk strategy he'd find a hay stack and sleep. What they did not understand is that he was not interested in any of it. He didn't care one way or another if they died because he was already dead inside. Not to make it seem so melodramatic, but if they were killed off, Lockie wasn't too sure that he'd try to stop them. He didn't think that he had anything to live for so thus his resolve was to bide their time until they ran out of food or the invaders found them. This girl though, she wasn't going to let that happen. Why? Hell if he knew, but some part of him admired her for it whilst the other part detested her. Watching her with one eye open and the other closed he chuckled to himself as she took a swig. So the she-beast was off her period now? Maybe there would be a lot less strategy sessions, they were starting to interfere with his sleeping patterns anyhow, not to mention he was pretty much tired of hearing the same thing and her giving him that look like he could pitch in and help. Shrugging his shoulders a bit, <b>"Finally figuring that out aye? I was wondering how long it was going to take before you gave up."</b> It might be taken in the wrong way, but the truth was the truth right? She had to realise now that she was fighting a battle that just was not going to be won.<p>

Opening his eyes fully at her next words, he sucked his teeth in out of frustration once more. She still was on that kick wasn't she? What did she expect them to do throw pitch forks at them? <b>"Yeah, they got guns. Weapons. What do we have? A bunch of fat cows and a few idiots who wouldn't know how to hit a target if their life depended on it. Listen sweetheart,"</b> he meant for it to sound condscending because he wanted her to understand something. They were going to die. They were not going to win, and it was time that she faced the facts. Kicking himself up out of his relaxed state, Lachlan rested his elbows on his knees and looked at her straight in the face. It was like he went from intoxicated to sober in less than sixty seconds. <b>"The more you try and convince people they are going to be able to fight, the more likely they are going to get themselves killed trying. We don't have any protection, and I for one don't want any idiots thinking they can play operation call of duty and lead them right back to the barn to have us all killed. So, I suggest what whatever moral crisis period, wank fest you're on, cool it because when people die you only have yourself to blame. You think you want to go out and kill people, but until you've actually done it. I mean literally seen a person get shot right in front of your eyes, dying.."</b> he managed to not choke on the word though it had it's own personal effect on him. <b>"Then you don't have a fucking clue what you're on about, got it?"</b>





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