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Dear Jay Cutler,
You are not Peyton Manning. Let’s first establish this, hell you’re not even Phillip Rivers. Making a pro-bowl does not justify you thinking such, throwing or an ungodly amount of yards does not either. You threw 18 interceptions last year and had a mediocre passer rating to put it nicely. You had an average season for someone who played in a passing offense.
So when the new guy in charge wants to bring in his guy, act your age. You went to Vanderbilt, you’re obviously fairly intelligent. I would expect someone who went to Vanderbilt to be able to understand that the NFL is a business and that often times in a business you bring in people who you are comfortable working with. When the news leaked, several hours after Cassel was already on his way to the chiefs, you decided to go emo on our entire team. You had every right to be angry, but the NFL is a business and you’re a pawn. With the exception of 4-5 players, every player is a pawn in the owners’ master plans to make money.
1. Draft Cutler
2. Suck for 2 seasons
3. Start Cutler
4. Miss the playoffs
5. ???
6. Profit
See the flaw? I do. The basis for financial success in the NFL is to win games, create luxury boxes, sell boxes and laugh. The quarterback is the most important position on the field and team success is often put on their shoulders, some people think Eli Manning is better than Marino for this very season. You haven’t done shit in your career; you’re like Colt Brennan only Colt Brennan isn’t a giant douche who can’t accept the fact that there are better quarterbacks out there. As I have said, I do not blame you for getting upset, but I can think of several ways to deal without looking like this.
Broncos: Hmm, Cutler is good, but I’d like to have a player I’m familiar with./ talks trade
Cutler: I’m not actually going to comment, but I will plant stories through my agent about being upset about this for some reason.
Broncos: Hey Jay, I understand you’re upset but we’re really happy to have you here, we just wanted one of our guys, but since he’s traded we’re good with you. Go Broncos!
Cutler: /silence, hides somewhere, plants rumours
Broncos: Hey, Jay we’ve been hearing things about you wanting a trade, if possible can you hop on a plane and come here, we want to work this out.
Cutler: /silence, moves to new hiding spot
Broncos: Ok, since you don’t want to see us, can you tell us where you’re staying so we can meet.
Cutler: /wants trade
Broncos: sigh
It isn’t even that bad that you wanted a trade in the first place, I don’t agree with it but it’s you right. But when you started to ignore calls and go hide somewhere with Waldo you just get the overall feeling that you’re a douche. The team is now pretty much forced to trade an untradeable asset because this 25 year old didn’t like the idea that somebody out there might be more desired. Cassel had a better season than you playing against better opponents and is familiar with the head coach. The fact that this trade is creating outrage baffles my mind.
You are not an elite NFL quarterback, you make dumb decisions too often and you are very inconsistent. The fact that the coach wanted someone who was better and more consistent in his first season starting should not shock you. I’m not saying you’re not better than Cassel I am merely pointing out that statistically against weaker opponents your stats are inferior to his. Blame your shitty running game all you want, the Patriots couldn’t run either.
Perhaps it was going to Vanderbilt that gave you this undeserving ego, perhaps it was putting up average numbers in a system, I do not know. I do know this however; I hope you get traded to like Detroit so you can spend the next chunk of your life in a dirty cesspool of drugs and crime. Denver’s clean air and ski resorts nearby will look pretty nice when you’re stuck in a city known for being unappealing in every way.
We Canadians are actually trying to pass a bill that would make you cover that zit up. The fine residents of Windsor should not have to look across the lake in the morning to see Detroit.
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You ar a dick Jay Cutler
