Martin "scriblerus" Rudolph, obituary by said journalist

I, Martin "Scriblerus" Rudolph, will be six feet under and pushing up daisies by the time you, my adoring subscribers to the 'Central Times,' read this account of my life--and what I am sure is a fascinating death.

Life began for me some thirty-odd years ago in Xenotime, where my parents
Operated a fine business. I contracted polio at age seven, and
Have been paralyzed
Ever since. Despite the trouble, my paralysis has
Never been a problem in my line of work. I
Grew up to be what I consider a fine journalist. I have never been a
Rich man, but
I have always been content to relax with a black coffee while enjoying some film
Noir. Although my job was sometimes
Demanding,
I could not have chosen a better one. The
Days fly by when you cover a good story.
I will miss you all
Terribly.

--Martin "Scriblerus" Rudolph (Age 37, found floating in the river...in three different boxes, no survivors, police suspect foul play)

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