WELCOME TO FLAWED TO PERFECTION. WE'RE A SHORT APP, NO WORD COUNT SITE. SET IN THE FICTIONAL CITY OF OCEAN COAST, FLORIDA, WE'VE WATCHED THE CITY GO THROUGH SEVERAL CHANGES OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS. WITH THE RESORT THAT CATERS SPECIFICALLY TO CELEBRITIES, THE TOWN HAS FOUND A NEW ECONOMIC BOOM. SOME HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, AND OTHERS NOT SO MUCH. IT LEFT THE TOWN WITH DEFINED LINES BETWEEN ITS ECONOMIC CLASSES. BUT THAT'S LIFE I SUPPOSE. BUT HEY THIS IS AMERICA, MAYBE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO MAKE THINGS BETTER BY MAKING THAT GREAT AMERICAN DREAM OF YOURS COME TRUE. TO GET STARTED REGISTER WITH YOUR CHARACTERS FIRST AND LAST NAME IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
krieg means war in german
right now, in case anyone wondered, I feel like a blonde, teenage bimbo with a fashion blog that starts all her entries with a: “hello blog, today…”. yeah. so. now I got that part of this covered.
What has been on my mind lately? This: ”does the carpet match the drapes?” it sure as hell bugs me that every guy just has to ask. I guess it’s because I’m a redhead and everyone just wants to know if my pubes are red too. but hey, we live in the 21st century, right? so, ladies, don’t we all shave or wax down there these days? (at least we do some serious grooming, right?) and if we don’t groom men complain and call it gross. so, I wax. It hurts, it fucking really hurts, but I’d rather be bold than have some guy ruin the mood by commenting on a hairy vagina. Anyway, my point being: what woman does not groom her privates these days? and every guy knows we do it, and they were the ones that told us to in the first place (I suppose being bold as a baby is the new black, hm). so, my question being, to all gentlemen out there: why the fuck do you insist on asking me about my pubic hair when I do not have any?
Oh yeah, krieg means war in german.
Posted on january 2
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
the arabic spring
Besides feeling pregnant (which I am not) with a horrible back pain and bloated stomach from too much spicy food I can’t really focus… Having internet access while trying to do some work isn’t an optimal setting! There’s too many blogs out there and I can’t for my life focus. Seriously, this blogverse is taking over my life. yesterday I felt like a blonde slut blogging about high end slutty clothes and today I feel like a pregnant republican married lady with eight babies telling the world sarah palin has a brain… I should cut the internet for good. okay, enough.
Anyway, I am inspired by the—may I refer to it as the “Arabic spring” of ocean coast?—current air in town and decided to give sluts a moment of my time, and also devote some time thinking about how to define and spot a slut… but I’ll get to that later. First we will have to address a topic closer to my heart: teenagers. Who are they and where the fuck did they come from? They all seem to be orphans (do they live in the same orphanage?) and/or have mother and/or father issues. also they seem to procreate at the same rate and haste as rabbits! This could become a health hazard, if not a problem for us tax paying citizens! In what way is yet to be seen, but I predict them becoming a huge problem in the future. what happened to sexual education? And condoms?
So with that said, and a few children’s tantrums later, I will get down to business. sluts. What is up with them? they sleep around. but what single woman doesn’t? so, what is really the difference? Well, a slut can’t stand hearing they sleep around and they can’t stand being called sluts. I for one couldn’t care less if someone called me a slut for being in control of my sex life and for having multiple sex partners. They can’t stand having that pointed out. or something. I am still figuring out the slut mentality…
Maybe the orphan teenagers with parental issues grow up to be sluts? There must be a link somehow…
Posted on january 3
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
Ginger Vitus
Topic of the day? Genetics. Ginger. Grandmas. The three g’s of my life. or at least combined they are my life. so, this is the story of a ginger, who had a grandmother who had ginger vitus. Which, according to eric cartman (I demand you know your south park) is a deadly disease. I think she was the carrier. She had strawberry blonde hair, or at least that is what my mother claims. If not, I am sure they got the wrong baby at the hospital and that I really am the eighth weasley baby. Also, speaking of harry potter and fiction + gingers… in south park gingers have no soul (which we don’t, but then again, no one has – yes, ma’am/sir, you are hearing the preaches of a religious atheist), and in harry potter the redheads spawn like rabbits—which we don’t… but our relatives do, my brother is a good example of that, but I think his biggest crime is being born and second impregnating miss super bitch… tohugh it did result in a rather smart little girl. if someone did genetic testing on redhead they’d see we don’t have the genes to procreate; we miss that whole parenting genome. Which is fine with me, I don’t feel the need to put another child to this planet: why not take care of a child that needs a family, home and food on the table instead of pushing a whatever ounce baby out of your vagina? I know what I’d choose!
With that finally said, I can move on to the general topic of genetics. Which I probably shouldn’t even touch with a teen feet pole seeing I know nothing about genetics. But I know ginger… I am one so I should know the basics of being a ginger? Anyway, if you wonder if you might suffer from “ginger vitus” here’s a check list for you, and if you’ve marked all the boxes I suggest you go see your doctor and buy some sunblock.
[ ] red hair
[ ] white skin
[ ] aggressive behavior
[ ] slut allergy
[ ] a thinking brain
[ ] freckles
[ ] undeniably attracted to douchebags.
If you’ve checked at least three of these boxes (I know I keep changing the results, eh?) you really should go and get your diagnosis. And do not fear, gingers do have souls. I suppose, in the general aspect that we are thinking creatures and that we have a beating heart. And the best part is: we don’t have to find a Halloween costume! We’re pale enough to pass as vampires all year around. vampires are allergic to the sun (unless you’re a twilight vampire, then I guess you’re allergic to life, not to mention tampax is probably more lethal than Edward Cullen—suction. Thought chain. Long story. just laugh).
Since i am a ginger/vampire queen (totally an anne rice one if i get to choose) and I’m going to the Bahamas for the weekend I’m going to invest in a sunblock with spf 1000 or I will legit fry. I have no idea how I’ve survived twenty-eight years in florida. I might have to write a survival guide one day… but not now. hopefully I won’t turn to dust, or look like a lobster. Believe me, I don’t tan, I fry, turn red and stay inside for a month until I’ve peeled all my skin off like a serpent.
have a good one!
Posted on january 5
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
meaningless life
Barely living, but that’s not the point. I think I will continue updating this shit even after my death. The internet is a life saver when it comes to us hermits. Because that’s what I’ve become: a hermit, and my apartment is my cave. Apparently, the city didn’t get flooded with bitches and sluts. And I think the teenagers found a new home too. maybe they got a new foster home to go to? feels good being back; so let’s end this status quo once and for all. maybe that is the hermit in me speaking, but I need to occupy myself with something. something that isn’t work. which is also beside the point here. not that there is a point. what is the point of things? what’s the meaning of life, and death and everything else? it sure as hell isn’t 42.
Posted on january 10
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
Bertha mason
I had another epiphany. They come to me in my sleep… well, lack of sleep more like it. sane people would call them hallucinations, but they don’t know shit. Anyone that would ever define themselves as either sane or insane need to get their heads examined. (yes, thank you again, alan watts, you were a force of nature!) speaking of this insanity thing. I might have lost my mind somewhere between 11 and 3pm Saturday night. Not going to go there though, not now or ever. but seeing I am embracing this new rather sober me (also known as the hermit) I thought I’d give this chain of thoughts a go.
Let’s assume everyone has read jane eyre, even if I know previously mentioned teenagers probably haven’t. so without commenting and mentioning past weekend I might make a farfetched reference to mentioned book. I just know that one day, sooner or later, I will end up being Bertha Mason: lock up in an attic by my husband who’d claim I was crazy. this makes so much sense to me right now. I pity the woman. also, I think I need to re-read the book again… finally, I got myself a new project! Read classics…
jane eyre by charlotte brontë
Anna Karenina by leo Tolstoy
The art of war by Sun Tzu
Brideshead revisited by evelyn Waugh
This list sure will get longer and I will probably forget about it in 16 hours.
Posted on january 10
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
men, really?
I think I finally figured out how I keep fucking up: the Bermuda triangle. And I’m going to leave it at that for you to ponder on what I mean by fucking up and what it might have to do with the Bermuda triangle.
I’ve noticed something lately, And from my perspective I’m seeing it quite clear. all men has turned into women! They are either caring for their children (how come there are so many single fathers in this town?) or siblings (don’t anyone have parents that are not fucked up?) or they just completely lack balls. Even the men I considered manly has turned into complete pussies. They’ve gone from perfectly sane men to some sort of hybrid race: I assume they still have penises, but those penises have been put in shackles by really dumb women with bad spray tans and fake breasts. And don’t even get me started on the housewife men I mentioned earlier. They just annoy me beyond belief. No woman wants a man that acts like one of her girlfriends! I know I don’t! if that’s the sort of men there are to choose from I just say we all just have to go lesbian. I’d seriously rather have sex with a woman than with a shemale-housewife-home maker of a man, and I am not even joking.
Also, my boss has lost his mind. since I’m probably the only one working on valentine’s day (fyi which i couldn’t care less about) I got a quest given to me by mentioned lunatic: play cheesy love songs until I’ve fried my brain and talk about love. perfect. wonderful. Brilliant. He thinks he’s a genius putting the most cynical person on the staff on that task. Thank you, mister, thank you very much. (Though to my defense one has to be a romantic to be a cynic.) it will be hell. I’ve been in love like 4 times in my entire life; and let’s be honest here none of the times has been good. sort of. Enough of that now, it’s not something I’m sharing anyway. so, besides me pretending to know what I’m talking about (which I’m good at), playing horrible love songs and working I will do nothing on valentine’s. which is nice, actually. I find it an overly commercial pretend holiday and I simply cannot see why “romance” ought to have a special day. what’s wrong with the other 364 days of the year? and “romantic dates” and “red roses” and that crap is just so overrated it is painful how women keep wanting it. so, guys, be original, that’s just all I’m going to say about that because I think I got some homework to do on this topic before the 14th.
I’m boycotting valentine’s this year as well.
Posted on February 7
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
please fuck off and die
I stand forever in awe of people’s idiocy and lack of manners. perhaps I am not really the right person to bring up manners, but I do know a thing or two. one can choose to be an ass and one can choose to be humble. we’ve all done it but if you feel like protesting this claim feel free to email me at:
idontfuckingcare@fuckyou.com .
I think I’m just sick of people in general right now. maybe not people, but their motherfucking issues. Please, I couldn’t care less if your bitches ran off to a faraway place or about you flashing your breasts on facebook. Really, tell me something interesting instead, like what was the last book you read! Because at this very moment I have started to believe I live in not only a town full of illiterate retards (no offense to the illiterate retards out there) but in a state full of zombies who care only for their own asses and how to best hurt others. really, where is the people with an iq higher than 50? Did they all migrate and I missed the memo?
People, please stop being so fucking a) dumb b) rude and c) “bored”. if you are constantly bored maybe you should do something about it instead of fucking whining about it? because I couldn’t care less, except you still think I do because it shows up on my facebook news feed. Really, cut the crap and get a life and stop trying to pester me with your boring little status updates about “bitches”. Calling people “bitches” will never get you laid.
dear ocean coast, fuck off and die.
Posted on February 18
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
otto the rottweiler
I got a dog. His name is otto, he’s a rottweiler and a puppy. We named him after a roman emperor named otho, though otto sounded better… Sure, now he can get away with a lot by being a puppy but if he tears another pair of louboutins to shreds I will neuter him. I think I’ll do that even if he leaves my precious shoes alone.
Regardless, two days after we got him I am starting to question our decision. My track record of how long pets have stayed alive after entering my house is a tragic story. my gold fish for an example, jean Jacques (may he rest in peace in the dead fish part of sewer heaven) did not live long. but I hear fishes have short life spans, but I am sure forgetting to feed him added to the fact he died a premature death. And before jean Jacques there was the hamster I had when I was a kid. though I think Damien had something to do with his death… (note to self: do no let the spawn of satan near otto.)
However, I did manage to keep my niece alive for an entire afternoon and she did not even die from food poisoning when we made pancakes. Maybe that should be added to the extremely short con list of why getting a dog was a good decision. Though an afternoon can not simply be compared to ten years of caring for another being… This far I have barely managed to keep myself floating, how will I manage to keep a dog from eating something bad and getting hit by a car?
Posted on march 19
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
Group: THE LOCALS (A)
Posts: 3,471
Member No.: 299
Joined: 4-October 11
pregnant men
Since when did men become pregnant? it’s a completely new phenomenon I have discovered lately. The boyfriends or husbands of pregnant women has tendencies of acting more like their pregnant counterpart than they would like to admit. However, it’s not really that uncommon. It’s actually a psychological thing occurring in some men during their girlfriend/wife’s pregnancy, but most often they just have cravings and gains excessive weight. Though this is something different…
Please remind me that pregnant males are sociopaths unable to think with their brains instead of their dicks—which I think should change when they found out they were pregnant. but oh no, they’re still men who thinks that it’s their god given right to act like sexist assholes. And no, I’m not a feminist, because feminists are the worst sexists out there. I’m a human and I believe in equal value, regarding of the gender. But really, if you’re pregnant do whatever the hell you like until that baby is born, without risking its life unless you don’t want it that is. I don’t fucking care. another idiot on this planet isn’t going to change the fact we’re all fucked. Don’t forget how narrow minded they are...
people are able to move from point a to point b without dying or killing the life inside them.
Apparently the last idiot hasn’t been born yet.
Posted on july 7
julia f. krieg. soulless ginger, chainsmoking radio host, proud wino with a big mouth.
