foresake not the dream, abby dittmar <3

[Alexander Dillingham]

I WANT THE WHOLE NINE YARDS

i want the moon and the stars, i want the whole nine yards. i want your hands on my hips, i want you kissing my lips. i want the moon and the starts, i want the whole nine yards. i take off your shirt, you pull up my skirt. and the moon and the stars, and the look, in your eyes, let them find it's way into me.

Today was Anna’s birthday and since Alex feels like a really bad father for missing the first few, he decided that he was going to take it upon himself to get a party ready for Anna that would be a surprise for her and Abby, who he just recently started to get along with. It was a first for them in a very long time but after a lot of apologizing, a lot of talks over coffee while watching Anna they figured it were best if they got along and then now, wow Alex could be close to saying that she might be the closest friend he has had in a while. Does he still have feelings for her? Oh God yes but Alex has been good at suppressing them. He just smiles at a lot more when she’s around and she gets happier too, they look like the perfect couple still but Alex doesn’t say to Anna that he and her mom are going to get back together. He doesn’t even talk about Abby and he doesn’t ask Anna what she says about him, he would rather not know anymore. After all the fighting, he would rather just get along with Abby because it was best for their daughter. Their relationship problems would always be second to their daughter and after a full year and so of having her being in Alex life he really did change.

He really was a father and he found himself openingly talking about Anna in his classes and having play dates with other pureblood families. It was strange when he heard other parents ask him if he was ready to arrange a marriage for his four year old daughter. He never thought about it but his family didn’t arrange him because well, they just figured Alex would end up marrying Abby. Nothing more. They knew pregnancy was bound to come for them but a break up no. Alex was starting to think it was a somewhat good idea to have Anna at least be surrounded by boys that he would like to see her marry but marriage, it was a scary thing to Alex. He really didn’t want to make her marry anyone but he didn’t want her to end up being unintelligent and having no one but him to be able to care for her. He was so torn with the subject he wouldn’t even ask Abigail because well, she just lost one of her own brothers to a failed arrangement. He wasn’t going to bring one up and hear a fuck you thrown in his face, no fighting needed thank you very much. Not today especially, Abby was having fun talking to all the other mothers and women there about Anna and their sons and daughters. Alex was enjoying company with his coworkers and other fathers.

Everyone had a few drinks, no one was really drunk besides Kennedy and by this point the guy walked out with some girl to go to the girl’s apartment to have sex. And it didn’t bother him much; Alex was getting sick of Kennedy’s constant sexual slurs around his daughter. To perverse some innocence would be nice. And then at the end of the party, Alex stood by Abby as Anna was falling asleep on the couch waving good bye to everyone and her friends who were going asleep in their parents’ arms. Alex had a few drinks down but nothing to make him drunk off of his ass just relaxed and so did Abby. The party went wonderful and now it was just Alex’s… well family left in his apartment. He turned around as soon as the door was closed and touched Abby’s arm as he pointed out that their daughter was sleeping. He mouthed to her that he was going to put her to bed and picked her up and quietly and slowly tucked her into the bedroom Alex made for her out of his old storage space. He closed the door and smiled at Abby and asked, “So did you like the surprise?” He took a seat and slapped the seat next to him for her to take so that they could relax somewhat before they went to bed. Him, most likely on the couch and her in his bed since Alex was growing back his heart for the blonde mother of his child.

MADE BY HEY MICKEY! AT ATF.

[Abigail Dittmar]

never wanted to burn out bridges

Abigail hadn’t realized how exhausting it was, fighting with Alex, until she wasn’t doing it anymore. For the first time since Abby had arrived in England, the two were actually getting along. Sure, occasionally they bickered. But they were close again. Well, as close as you can be after all they went through. In fact, Abby sort of felt at peace. At peace with Alex, at least. At peace with everything else? Not so much. Her brother had just been murdered by his fiancée, who then proceeded to escape from Azkaban. So, was she overall at peace? No. But for the first time in a very long time, being at peace with Alex was making up for that. And she could see he was actually making an effort. It’s Anna’s fourth birthday, and Abby had come over to drop her off for her allotted time with her dad when she was surprised with a party. It was for Anna of course, but it was still a nice surprise. And it was nice to see Anna with her little friends. And it was even nicer to see Alex so involved. Of course, dealing with all their old friends wasn’t exactly the easiest. It was a bit awkward and formal, chatting with them, but it wasn’t anything Abby couldn’t handle. Some of them had even screwed up as bad as she did. So, all in all, it was an all right evening.

This was the first time in a while Abby could get somewhat buzzed while still being a responsible adult. In fact, Anna wasn’t even awake to see her mother buzzed. Abby couldn’t even remember the last time she had gotten tipsy. She’d had drinks since Anna’s birth, but she was one the verge of being drunk. But it didn’t matter. Anna wasn’t there to witness anything – not that Abby was doing anything. No, in fact, Anna was asleep on the couch, right next to Abby. Alex was seeing the last few people out. It had been a successful evening, to say the least. Anna had seemed to get cake everywhere except her mouth. She had better aim when she was a baby, which was sad. But now the girl who’d she given birth to four years ago was asleep, with absolutely no chance of being woken up any time soon. Abby herself, was falling asleep. She rested her head on the back of the couch, closing her eyes. Yeah, there was a very slim chance she was leaving Alex’s place tonight. She couldn’t even keep her eyes open. She only opened her eyes when Alex touched her arm to tell her he was moving their daughter. She nodded before closing her eyes again.

When Alex spoke, she decided that falling asleep was a lost cause. She lifted her head of the couch and turned to face Alex. He was sitting down across from her and encouraged her to join him. Seeing no harm in it, she got up and walked over to sit next to him. She sat against the arm of the couch, facing him. “Very nice surprise. Anna had loads of fun,” She smiled. The alcohol in her was making her feel tired, but also alert. It was a weird mix and Abby did not like the feeling. “Thank you,” She added. She was sure Anna was thankful, but she was truly thankful. Honestly, the only thing Abby had done for Anna’s birthday was get the both of them ice cream, along with getting her presents. They were sitting at him on her kitchen table, waiting for Anna to open them. Abby had been all-wrong about Alex, unfortunately. Despite his furry little problem, he really was a superb father. He stepped up, even when he didn’t necessarily have to. God, he made it incredibly hard for her to hate him for what he did to her. But that was the past, right? Abby shouldn’t focus on the has-beens, but she was. Well, she usually did. Right now, she was focusing on how comfortable a bed seemed right now.

© SHE MEANS WAR AT ATF

[Alexander Dillingham]

I WANT THE WHOLE NINE YARDS

i want the moon and the stars, i want the whole nine yards. i want your hands on my hips, i want you kissing my lips. i want the moon and the starts, i want the whole nine yards. i take off your shirt, you pull up my skirt. and the moon and the stars, and the look, in your eyes, let them find it's way into me.

Alex knew that somewhere in the back of Abby’s head she still resented him for something or another and that was why he had to do his best to just be the best he could be when it came to being Anna’s dad. Not that he didn’t want to for his own sake, nah he did. He loved the little girl, she looked just like him, if he didn’t he’d be stupid but other than appearance he had fallen in love with Anna. She was his angel, the gift from heaven, he treated her like a princess, she was referred to as his princess, and she answered to my princess, it was the normal routine and she loved her castles and crowns and gifts of wonderful joy that she would get whenever she was with her dad.

She had her own room and Alex would never bring anyone around besides the usual people Anna was acquainted with in order not to scare her or to give Abby any false, unrealistic, weird images of child abuse or anything that could relate to that in any possible way. Alex was a good father, he loved being Anna’s father and he knew that Abby hated him somehow for being that to her but loved it just the same. And then he realized she only probably hated him for being that because it was Alex. If it was Ichabod the story would be completely different…

When Alex found out Ichabod kept this secret away from him he had many, many more problems with the guy than just being heartbroken and staying in contact with Abby. He wanted to murder the kid, murder him to bites and now Evan Rosier was sending out hunting parties and Alex had not one problem with it. They went from being brothers to bitter, worsening enemies and all over women and Alex told him since he was younger to stay out the relationship he had with Abby and Ichabod did not. He came in and played with it and ultimately hurt Alex more than helped.

He wanted to kill the fucking bitch, he wanted Ichabod dead, and he wanted Abby back more than anything but it was clear to him that was not happening. No matter how wonderful she was or if they have a child, Abby seemed very well and done with Alex. Even if Alex knows he isn’t done with her and the more he raises Anna alongside her the more he gets to be the happier person he was when he dated Abby and become back to his normal self, less depressing and less clinical about everything. If a child taught him anything it would be this, don’t expect perfection on the first try unless you are looking to be disappointed and Alex would never be disappointed in Anna. Not even if she failed Hogwarts, he wouldn’t care… she was perfect.

Alex smiled softly as Abby seemed too tired walking over to sit next to him, she was still the girl he fell in love with, just a lot more adult. As she spoke it was clear she wanted to pass out and was struggling to stay asleep, his smile got bigger though from her saying thank you. It was a long time since those words really came out of Abby and were directed at Alex. He nodded and said, “No problem, I’m glad you guys had fun.” In response as he tried to figure out what to do with the sleepy woman sitting next to him. He finally decided it was time to move her to the bedroom and he stood up and went to stand in front of her. He put his hand out and teased, “Come on sleepy, let’s put you to bed too. Partying too hard at a four year old birthday party.”

She took his hand and Alex led her to his bedroom and closed the door behind him, pulling her gently over to his bed. As she took a seat and began to lay down he pulled out a book his parents sent him. It was full of pictures from when they were kids and he opened it up, lying down next to Abby and pulling out a picture of them standing side by side. He smiled and said, “My mom sent me this book right after she divorced my dad. I found it the other day, all photos of us as kids. I thought my parents gave these away or threw them away when I became a werewolf… Anna looks like you in this picture.”

MADE BY HEY MICKEY! AT ATF.

[Abigail Dittmar]

never wanted to burn out bridges

It would be an obvious lie if Abby were to say she never thought about the past. Of course she did. She thought about when she was close with her parents and brothers. She thought about being at Hogwarts. She thought about her old friends. And yes, she thought about her relationship with Alex. It was full of lust and passion, and at fifteen and sixteen, that was a terrible mix. Had they really been in love? Abby liked to think so. Then again, the way things at ended up, maybe it was just lust. Maybe it their relationship was purely sexual attraction and passion. Maybe there wasn’t any love involved in it. Abby didn’t know how to brew a sleeping potion, how could she have known if she was in love? Regardless, Alex’s super sperm had gotten her pregnant. After that, it didn’t matter if Abby loved him or just lusted after him – he didn’t to either. Four years later, things have changed a lot. If Abby had once been in love with Alex, she wasn’t anymore. She’d hated him so much, but now… now she was just content with him. She wasn’t angry with him anymore but she didn’t feel anything strong for him anymore, either. She’d always have feelings for him, that was definite, but love? Not after everything they’ve been through.

If Abby had been more awake, she would’ve been uncomfortable by Alex leading her to the bed. She didn’t waste any-time lying down. She was about to close her eyes when she released Alex wasn’t actually leaving, not yet. She leaned on her hand propped herself up. Oh Merlin, he was taking out photo albums. Her parents had dozens of her and her brothers at the house, and Abby had looked through them a time or two. But she would never had guessed Alex would have any, or if he did, wouldn’t hesitate throwing them in the trash. Abby took Alex for someone who didn’t live in the past. And if he did, he was very good at hiding it. Abby looked down at the pictures. They were upside down to her, but she knew every picture and attached a certain memory to said pictures. She smiled lightly as she glanced at each picture. Alex hadn’t changed a bit – you know, with the exception of growing a couple feet and gaining the ability to grow facial hair. The little kid in the picture looked just like the man who sat before her. She looked at the picture Alex was referencing. Their childhoods were much easier, much more innocent. Abby sighed slightly at this thought.

“I guess she does,” Abby agreed. “But she’s starting to look more like you everyday,” Abby added. It was the truth. Every-time Abby looked at Anna, she was reminded of Alex. The little girl’s once blonde hair was turning darker and darker everyday. She grabbed the photo album from Alex and turned the page. They were nearly all of Abby and Alex. Did the two of them have any other friends and children? Apparently not. Abby unconsciously ran her hand over each picture, trying to remember what had happened in them. “Merlin, it feels like forever ago that all these pictures were taken,” Abby said, in a bit of a trance. She often had to remind herself that she was only nineteen – and that these pictures, in fact, did not happen that long ago. She felt so much older at times. She was sure Alex did, too. They’d both been through a lot. Life had not been easy on either of them. She looked up at Alex and gave him a small smile before looking back down at the pictures. Her exhaustion and disappeared for the time being shortly after Alex pulled out the photo album. However, Alex’s bed was very comfortable. And it smelled strongly of him, which Abby sort of, possibly, maybe liked. Abby tried to ignore that thought as she stared intently at each old photograph. If only she could rewind time. She would do things much differently.

© SHE MEANS WAR AT ATF

[Alexander Dillingham]

I WANT THE WHOLE NINE YARDS

i want the moon and the stars, i want the whole nine yards. i want your hands on my hips, i want you kissing my lips. i want the moon and the starts, i want the whole nine yards. i take off your shirt, you pull up my skirt. and the moon and the stars, and the look, in your eyes, let them find it's way into me.

Alexander just watched her as she ran her hands over the pictures. She was still so beautiful, no matter how old she was. The more time Alexander spent with her recently he remembered how much he did love her and how much he still had feelings for her. She was so beautiful still, her hair, her face, her beautiful face. He just got intoxicated by her whole look. He just wanted to stare at her, the whole time and he did. She was a bit drunk, so was he but not much from drinking but from her. He missed this closeness, this ability to hold her near him and seeing her in his bed… god that was his dream for weeks now. Seeing her happy and content in his bed, it was like old days. Abigail was his dream, for a few months now. Since she got back in his life, originally he was resentful acting mean and trying to repel her away… Now? It was so different, he wanted her back. He wanted her back desperately, to hold her again, to have a relationship with her.

He didn’t understand the mood swing, originally he thought it was his own personal pressure to get back together because of their daughter but it wasn’t. Like now, he just wanted to just push her down, kiss her and throw the book away to just have that old feeling, that old spark back. It wasn’t too long ago that they had that chemistry and it would be a lie to deny that they both still don’t avoid checking each other out. It was just the other day when Alex caught Abigail staring at him a bit too intently. She was running her eyes up and down his arms, starting at his face when she didn’t think he could see. He noticed it… Alex wasn’t blind and he wasn’t going to stop it. Alex could never say that he never stopped lusting for Abby. It was an ongoing sexual need with Abigail but this return of feelings, this return of this crushes… yes, and it was back.

Yes, it might seem odd or out of place that he has these photos of each other… but his parents sent them to him months ago and when he missed her. He looked at them, he missed being with her. He missed this happier time together and he did look back at these books, normally alone. Alex doesn’t like looking back at the past but when it came to Abby, he always had a soft spot for this girl… or woman now… Alex moved himself so he was looking in the same direction as Abby, looking at the pictures over her shoulder as she said that she was starting to look more like Alex. He smiled looking at the photo of them; they would have been perfect… if his life didn’t spiral at such a young age. He stopped looking at the photos as she turned the page and captured each photo in. Instead he looked at her and as she said it felt so long ago that these photos were taken he couldn’t agree more. Then she turned to look at him with a smile, he returned it.

As she stared down at the photos again, he moved her hair away from her neck with his hand. He gave her a soft kiss as she seemed to try and make sense of their past. He didn’t care about their past. He didn’t like to look at it when she was around; it was too painful but she was what he wanted. What they should be… back together, loving each other… Alex whispered, “I miss you… I miss us, my Angel.”

MADE BY HEY MICKEY! AT ATF.

[Abigail Dittmar]

never wanted to burn out bridges

It’s not an easy task to move on from someone you’ve known your entire life. The book that lay before her basically documented the life and adventures of Abby and Alex. As she stared at each and every picture, she quickly became aware of how much hadn’t changed. She was never going to be rid of him. Whatever this was, whatever Abby and Alex had, they’d always have. Even if they didn’t want to. At one point, Alex didn’t want to. Then it was Abby’s turn to not want to. She still didn’t want to have this relationship with Alex. Despite no longer hating him, she still had this upmost dislike for him. It wasn’t something she could get rid of. They were friendly now, yes, but that didn’t stop the feeling. Just as she’d always dislike him in one way or another, she’d probably always adore him, too. She didn’t know why. For a good portion of their lives, he didn’t treat her very well. But then again, she recently reciprocated that action. Together they were destructive. Apart they were lost. They were doomed no matter what. The idea that she couldn’t ever have the perfect relationship was disheartening. Alex wasn’t the best choice for her, not at all. But she did adore him. She always had. The two of them had something interesting. Something that worked, in one sense. They didn’t necessarily balance each other out, but they worked. It didn’t help that he’d always be there. It didn’t help that she couldn’t ever let herself at least try to find something that worked with someone else. Because Alex would always be there. Anything with anyone else would feel like cheating. Even though it wasn’t, that’s what it would feel like. And Abby absolutely hated that. But there wasn’t anything to do but accept it. She turned the page in the photo album, absentmindedly staring at the photos. Her thoughts were elsewhere and consisted mostly of Alex. That hadn’t changed. He was always in her thoughts, even when she didn’t want him to be.

The exhaustion that had been present moments earlier had mysteriously disappeared. There was something stimulating about being nostalgic about the past. Abby found it hard not to think about the past. Her life had become so different, so mundane since her school days. She was barely twenty and she desired to go back. Maybe it was because she never really had a normal school experience. She’d spent four and a half years at Hogwarts, and one of them consisted of being with Alex, before becoming pregnant. She always asked the What If’s. What if she had never been with Alex? What if she’d never gotten pregnant? Despite the clear questions, the answers were far from apparent. Either way, her life would’ve been very different than what it was now. That much was obvious. She wondered if Alex had ever regretted anything about his years at school. He’d never been one to look back and wish he’d done anything different (at least, that’s what came across), so Abby doubted it. Abby once believed that some higher power had a plan for each and every person. That everything happened for a reason. But after having Anna and losing the people closest to her, that belief and faith in something higher disappeared. It was hard to believe that getting pregnant and having a baby at fifteen was something that happened for a reason. To say the least, Abby has gotten a lot less optimistic as she’s gotten older. She continued to run her eyes over each picture. As she observed and took in each photograph, and remembered the memory attached to it, she gradually got sadder. Things had changed. Not for the better, not for the worse. She didn’t even recognize the life in the pictures she was looking at. She sighed heavily, wanting to close the book. But Alex was now looking at the pictures over her shoulder. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck. She resisted the urge to shiver (though she wasn’t cold).

She turned yet another page. The album seemed endless. Abby wasn’t looking at the pictures anymore. She just needed something to do, something to distract her. It was so unnaturally quiet in the room that it made her uncomfortable. Not being able to see Alex was also making her uncomfortable. She used to always dream of them getting back together. Now, she didn’t think it was even possible. But she didn’t know if Alex was even trying to seduce her. Hell, for all she knew, maybe he was getting ready to kill her. No, she knew better. He wasn’t going to do that. But with her back turned to him, she had no bloody idea. She looked down a picture, a little surprised to see a younger her staring back. Anna did look like her. She cocked her head slightly to the side. Moments after she had done that, she felt Alex brush away her hair from her neck and kiss her. She couldn’t control her eyes fluttering shut. As soon as she heard him talk, they shot back open and Abby turned around quickly whilst also attempting to back away. She didn’t achieve the latter. “No Alex. We can’t,” Abby told him firmly. Though, as she thought about it, she couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t. Anna was in the other room, yes, but the walls were thick enough. They were two consenting adults with jobs and respectable lives. Plus, she still adored him, and by the sound of it, the feeling was mutual. She stared at him, frustrated with herself. Her brain was telling her that she wouldn’t be happy with herself in the morning if she did this, but her heart was saying something different. Abby was a logical girl and usually went with what he brain was saying, but as she continued to stare at Alex, she realized that her heart was slowly winning. She noticed the stubble on his chin. The strangely perfect jaw structure. His stupid blue eyes. The same eyes that Anna had gotten. His messy hair. His look of genuine care. Abby sighed, angry with herself, before leaning forward and kissing Alex. She rested her hands on his cheeks, thought they eventually found their way to his hair. Her eyes had closed almost immediately. She let herself get lost in the kiss, in Alex. With each second that past, the idea that she was making a grave mistake drifted further and further away from her thoughts. She hated to admit it, but she wanted this.

© SHE MEANS WAR AT ATF

[Alexander Dillingham]

I WANT THE WHOLE NINE YARDS

i want the moon and the stars, i want the whole nine yards. i want your hands on my hips, i want you kissing my lips. i want the moon and the starts, i want the whole nine yards. i take off your shirt, you pull up my skirt. and the moon and the stars, and the look, in your eyes, let them find it's way into me.

Alex just kissed her neck as she told him no, then as she pulled away and looked at him he just sat there and looked back into her eyes. Gazing deeply within them and missing this intimate feeling with her. She was so beautiful; everything about her was so beautiful. And as she never looked away, Alex wanted to lean over and kiss her lips and finally get that kiss that he’s been craving back. She was the only one to make him melt, the one to make his heart scream in agony. He wanted her desperately; he wanted her next to him and whispering wistful, loving things again. He wanted their baby girl to tell people that they were together again and that mommy and daddy were married and happy.

God, how he wished he could finally get Abby back into his life completely. When she finally gave up, a loud huff came from his voice. Alex was going to beg for her not to go but then she leaned forward and kissed him. It shocked him for a second but then he kissed back immediately. This feeling made his skin boil, he felt hot and he wanted to keep it going. He wanted her to be with him in every way but he was not going to fast this forward. He was going to take it slow. He was going to cherish this night so that she could realize that he cherished her, that he missed her.

He lost his breath and reluctantly pulled away from her, leaning his head against hers and giving peaks on her lips. He didn’t realize but his eyes were closed and he opened them. A smile played on his lips between peeks as he went to her cheeks. He ran his hand down her neck and avoided talking. Talking would kill them; it always hurt them when he spoke. He would always screw up; they would always fight once or twice a day. Even when they were in love they would fight but it would be bickering.

What do sixteen year olds know about the real world anyway? They had nothing to fight for, especially them with their perfect lives. But now? God, they could fight about everything. Between the baby and his absence and the war, Abby and Alex could fight for hours on days but he wasn’t going to open his mouth yet. No, only to kiss her and to make her feel like an angel… And if he could that right, maybe they could be okay. As he kissed her cheek, he pushed the picture book on the ground and moved them both together to pay back on his bed. He sighed in happiness as he sat on top of her, leaning over her head and having them face to face. Alex kissed her lips again for a short second and as he lost breath he smiled.

“I need you Abby,” he let slip as he looked into her eyes and his hand on her face, sliding down her neck and across her shirt. She was so beautiful. He wished he could have kept her forever and ever. Why did he leave her? Why was he so stupid… he was so stupid. He needed Abby more than anyone else. Yes they might be bad for each other but together, they were brilliant. In his opinion, they were able to make each other perfect. They just needed this relationship back together, they needed the sex to settle their arguments. They needed these kisses and he really needed Abby. He really needed Abby. He kissed her lips again, not waiting for an answer as he started to unbutton his shirt. She would say yes, they needed this together… this was the therapy. The one they never got.

MADE BY HEY MICKEY! AT ATF.

[Abigail Dittmar]

never wanted to burn out bridges

Every single nerve in her body was telling Abby not to do this. That this was wrong. That she’d regret this tomorrow. Abby desperately wanted to listen to them. To be logical about this. To realize that his could make things terribly complicated and to think of the consequences. But the logical side in her was not winning out. The way he was looking at her, talking to her… she felt like she was fifteen again. It was a good feeling. An uncomplicated feeling. Just a feeling of fleeting passion. But that fleeting passion was enough to defeat her logical side. Alex was everything wrong for her. Alex and Abby weren’t as easy as two plus two. They were more like attempting to brew Felix Felicis. Put in the wrong ingredient or stir something too many times, and it’ll explode. Even with Abby knowing that, she couldn’t help but feel like whatever they were doing at the present moment was right. Or a horrid mistake. Abby didn’t know. It was confusing and not something she wanted to think about. All she wanted to do was pull Alex’s shirt off. But she needed to come face to face with her senses and feelings before making a decision. Did she want this? Maybe. Did she need this? No.

She never needed this – needed Alex. She could’ve done it all by herself. She could’ve raised Anna to be a wonderful young lady all by herself. She didn’t need Alex’s help. But she knew that Alex had a right to know. To at least get to know his own daughter. But was that the real reason that Abby came back to London? To everything she hated only years earlier? Yes and no. She knew that Alex had a right to know Anna, but she wanted to see him – desperately. Whilst in France, she often faltered between loving him and hating him. She thought that going back might settle her feelings. It only made things more complicated. Her hate stayed the same, but her love for him started to grow. She tried to repress it with her hate, but it obviously wasn’t working out. As she stared at him, she couldn’t help feeling immense love, or lust, or whatever the bloody hell it was, for him. She couldn’t help wanting to rip his shirt off and just get on with this. All the hate in the world couldn’t repress what Abby was feeling at this very moment. She knew she shouldn’t do this, that she’d just hate herself and probably him in the morning, but she didn’t care. Not right now, anyway.

Abby let him move her so that he was hovering over her. She shivered slightly as he ran his hand down her body. She looked up at him, exhausted from trying to divide and figure out her feelings, when all she wanted to do was kiss him. Damn him. Damn him. Her eyes moved rapidly, looking around his face. Was he being sincere? Of course he was. He had that face. That one face that only Abby had ever seen. She glanced down at his hands, which were taking off his shirt. She sighed heavily. At that moment, she gave in. She aided Alex in unbuttoning his shirt, as she was growing impatient. She pushed his hands out of the way and finished unbuttoning the buttons before pulling the shirt of him completely. She ran her hands over his abs briefly before pushing herself up and kissing him. Her hands moved from his chest to his neck. She pulled lightly on it, pulling him down. She didn’t need to say anything. She just kept kissing him. While they were kissing, her clothes too somehow had gotten discarded. This was happening. She wanted this. And as much as she’d like to say she didn’t, she did need this. She needed Alex.

© SHE MEANS WAR AT ATF