DEVON DELORE ARMSTRONG

SO ROCK'N ROLL SO COOPERATE SUIT
SO DAMN UGLE SO DAMN CUTE
SO WELL TRAINED SO ANIMAL
SO NEED YOUR LOVE SO FUCK YOU ALL.

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welcome to 'bloomfield falls', colleague. i am evan armstrong, dean of this school and the one person who can either make or break you. i am kidding of course; i suppose my humor might have gone unnoticed. it's your age, i don't blame you. bit absorbed in the whole application process, aren't you? of course you are, i know your kind.

in order for us to determine whether you will fit in here or not i am going to ask you a few simple question. if you could just answer them as honestly as possible, that'd be great. before we begin go ahead and make yourself comfortable.
what the hell? don't touch those tiny pretzels, they are the last I've got!


I AM NOT AFRAID OF DYING I JUST DON'T WANT TO.

so, it's just you and i in my little office. do you like it? i picked the curtains out myself. anyway, i am me and you are but what exactly does that mean? why are you here?
"Wait-what? Am I dreaming or something? Ugh, there's no way I'd pick those curtains out- any curtains actually! For some reason I feel like Kayla is behind this somehow...but I'll play along till I'm sure..."

nope, not impressed. not in the slightest. but the interview has only just started; don't worry.. there are only about 200 others wanting this spot as badly as you. if i called you by any other name, would that make you more comfortable?
"Alright, this sounds vaguely familiar to the interviews I usually do for teachers...weird...so then I'm assuming I'm "applying" for the role of the dean? If so, I hardly doubt 200 people could handle the rigor the job requires. Just call me Devon, my wife calls me Evan sometimes, but that's...a privilege. "

it has a ring to it, i give you that. now that we are practically acquainted, tell me a little bit more about yourself. personal things you hoped i wouldn't ask.
"Acquainted? Try related. Well, [b]I[/i] am the dean of this school, straight, my wife is 8 months pregnant for heaven's sake...Now that I think about it, I spend a lot of time at my desk...maybe I should pay a little more attention to her. But that's a bit personal, don't you think? I suppose not, since..you're...me...Anyway, I just turned 34, and am from Aberdeen, in the UK.


wow i am still awake, i’m surprised, really. you talk a little bit like you've swallowed a stick or you've been screaming your lungs out at a concert, all night. speaking of that, what do you like to do when you're not at work?
"Hah, you know I don't have time for concerts anymore...I'd like to though. My hobbies you say...the first thing that comes to mind are the mind blowing hand massages Kayla gives me. I honestly don't have time for too many hobbies, but I like chess, fishing, soccer is one of my favorite childhood pastimes, and oh, I love annoying the hell out of an interviewee. Kidding about that last one...of course."

and you’re still alive? you must have some pretty good insurance or a nifty lawyer, eh? i love it, i am a bit of a risk taker myself. now that you got my attention again, tell me about all the things you avoid in life.
"What I avoid, what do I avoid? Well, I typically like to avoid tiny student problems, not to say I turn a blind eye to them, but for god's sake, I hire staff for a reason! My teacher's, I'm a bit more lenient with them, but still, they have their own department heads to report to. Maybe it's just my marine background speaking, but structure is good."

now that i know a little bit more about your precious self, go on and humor me some more. what kind of person are you, really? you know.. like when no one is watching or in general; i am not picky.
"Am I actually that...snarky during an interview? Well, one thing I've learnt at Bloomfields is that somebody is always watching. I've actually been meaning to look into that 'rumor mill' around here, but that's going off topic. There have been three main events in my life, the first is getting married to Kayla, and the second is getting this job, and the third is having my first child. Soon, I will have a fourth; becoming a father again. That should tell you enough about what kind of person I am, I take my responsibilities seriously, and I give my cared ones all my love. Although, I admit...I do sometimes get consumed by my work... "

hmm, you sure as hell are not afraid to point out your flaws, are you? that could either mean you are smart and know not to piss me off by not answering my questions or you’re just plain dumb and don't even know that i am watching your every move. kidding, again. did you catch it this time? was it funny?
"Oh damn, are my jokes really that bad? "

that was good! that was really good. i am starting to like you. but let's say i had never seen you before and needed to pick you out in the staff room; how would i recognize you?
"Being in the corps has definitely made my body strong, I still find time to work out during the day to keep it in reasonably good shape, I try my best with what time I get. I'm 6'2", some people laugh a bit when they see me and Kayla together, the height difference is somewhat amusing, I guess, but I love her the height she is. Other than that, I usually have some stubble on my face, Kayla hasn't complained...yet...that all you need to know?"

well, i can tell looks are not your strong point. but what is?
"I'd have to say my dedication and loyalty. Being in the corps teaches character, I'd suggest you join...if I wasn't still in this weird dream...When I start something I'm determined to finish it, and I stay loyal to those I've pledged my loyalty too. Other than that I've been told I'm a natural leader, and often over dedicated to my work... "

blimey! you could have fooled me. let me make a note of that. hold on just one second, will you? okay, i am good. continue.
"It's hard for me to say, but it's often my dedicated that acts as my pitfall. Sometimes it becomes hard for me to distinguish between finishing the work I started or turning my attention to more important thing...you can guess who I heard that from...I love my wife, child, and my future child, with all my heart, and despite the lesser amount of attention I show them sometimes, I would do anything for them. "

woah. interesting. does your family know about all that? you do have a family, don't you? or maybe you're even married with children? family is such a nice thing.
"My family is my world. Seriously, they are...sometimes it just doesn't show though. I'm married to a beautiful woman, Kayla, with one son and another on the way. Only two months left! Unfortunately, I've lost touch with my own parents, not to the extent that we never call each other, we probably do once a month or so, but the closeness is fading. Luckily, they're thinking of a move to Bloomsfield...but we'll see about that. "

oops. sorry about that, i must have dozed off. i am sure you were great in.. what were we talking about? oh what the heck.. tell me how you got here, and don't say by car. i mean, tell me about your life.
"God you're really making me hate...myself. Well, I was born in Aberdeen, in the UK. I went to a private school, not exactly Bloomfields, just one close by. It was...quiet, to say the least. Maybe that's why I'm so fond of peaceful moments. *shrugs*. Anyway, I wasn't born in a very rich family, but I had dreams to do something with my life. In the meanwhile, I became fascinated with science, math, and children. Yeah, I lot's changed since then...now I'm stuck doing beurocratic work in an office, rarely getting a chance to go outside and see the world's future leaders at work...

Well, in any case, without enough money to get a teaching degree, I made the decision to join the marines. Let me tell you right now, it was damn tough. But it payed for college, and I got a simple teaching degree. I was given a student teaching position at a modest public school. I think it was in one 11th grade class that I first saw Kayla...didn't really notice her much though, she was always so quiet. My student teaching went well enough, and I was given a job here as a substitute Math professor, slowly working up the ranks to a full time professor. After a few years, I began working on private projects and was given the chance to travel giving lectures. As fate would have it, Kayla was studying at a university where I gave one of my lectures, and we became closer.

One of my most cherished moments came on December 16, 2005, with the birth of my first son, Gavin, and was closely followed with another special moment, my marriage to Kayla. We returned to Bloomfield, where when the previous dean retired, I was given the position. "

ever considered writing a book? i think it would sell. we should talk about it some time later. anyway, yep, i think you'd fit in just fine. but where exactly do you think you'd belong?
"The Dean!."

once your background check is completed and i set you free what will you do? anything you are looking forward to?
"This whole thing has been enlightening...maybe I'll go home and spend some time with Kayla."

okay.. uhm.. maybe i made a mistake by hiring you, after all?
"No comment..."

don't get so wound up, i was kidding. anyway, as fun as it was to talk to you and all that .. uhm.. i have places to go and people to see. we'll meet again, eh? i'll have my eyes on you.
"Eh, I always say I keep my eyes on the students here...they end up glued to books and other matters anyway..."

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Meet
"Nick"
s/he's been plotting since "18"
and gee doesn't devon armstrong look like "josh duhamel"
s/he's also the puppet master of "seth edwards"
but you can all me
"the devoted dean"

QUOTE

See Seth Edwards Application