TOBIAS JEREMIAH ZATTERBURG

SO ROCK'N ROLL SO COOPERATE SUIT
SO DAMN UGLE SO DAMN CUTE
SO WELL TRAINED SO ANIMAL
SO NEED YOUR LOVE SO FUCK YOU ALL.

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welcome to 'bloomfield falls', colleague. i am evan armstrong, dean of this school and the one person who can either make or break you. i am kidding of course; i suppose my humor might have gone unnoticed. it's your age, i don't blame you. bit absorbed in the whole application process, aren't you? of course you are, i know your kind.

in order for us to determine whether you will fit in here or not i am going to ask you a few simple question. if you could just answer them as honestly as possible, that'd be great. before we begin go ahead and make yourself comfortable.
what the hell? don't touch those tiny pretzels, they are the last I've got!


I AM NOT AFRAID OF DYING I JUST DON'T WANT TO.

so, it's just you and i in my little office. do you like it? i picked the curtains out myself. anyway, i am me and you are but what exactly does that mean? why are you here?
"*eyebrow arch and puts the pretzel down.* Okay? *blinks once, looking at him like he's lost his mind* I came to Bloomfield Falls a few years ago, used to live in the city just a few miles from here actually, although I was born and raised here to begin with. Why do I have to have this interview again? I don't see it's relevance--"

nope, not impressed. not in the slightest. but the interview has only just started; don't worry.. there are only about 200 others wanting this spot as badly as you. if i called you by any other name, would that make you more comfortable?
"... Just call me Tobias."

it has a ring to it, i give you that. now that we are practically acquainted, tell me a little bit more about yourself. personal things you hoped i wouldn't ask.
"...Uuhhhh okay. I'm twenty seven, male, born January twenty forth, aquarias, straight as a wick, and I honestly don't care for seafood."

wow i am still awake, i’m surprised, really. you talk a little bit like you've swallowed a stick or you've been screaming your lungs out at a concert, all night. speaking of that, what do you like to do when you're not at work?
"Scream my lungs out at concerts, apparantly. Jesus this is ridiculous *runs his fingers through his hair before letting out a huff* Fine. Alright, so I like to write, love coffee, dark chocolate and animal crackers is my favourite snack, I love animals although I don't have any, too much of a mess and I love the fact that I'm smarter than half your sorry teachers here at this school. Love my attitude too, just incase you were wondering. Oh, and I love my music, play at the odd bar here and there every now and then."

and you’re still alive? you must have some pretty good insurance or a nifty lawyer, eh? i love it, i am a bit of a risk taker myself. now that you got my attention again, tell me about all the things you avoid in life.
"People who are smarter than me. I also can't stand bitchy women, they drive me insane. Yes, you have a nice ass, but it's not like you're someone I want to settle down with. Seriously, if a girl's showing off her ass cleavage to me? She'll be doing it to some other guy as well if I ever dated her. I like being independent. What else... I can't stand sea food, and kiwi gives me the worst allergic reactions. Can't think of anything else really, although too much noise and attention can drive me up the wall."

now that i know a little bit more about your precious self, go on and humor me some more. what kind of person are you, really? you know.. like when no one is watching or in general; i am not picky.
"Hmmm, okay... *rubs his hands together and then nods* Yeah, okay. So I guess I'm a pretty decent guy. I spend a lot of time by myself on my computer or with my agent and publisher. They're pretty bitchy, so I blame them partially for my moody behaviour. Hmm what else. Uhm, people tend to call me a dick and I don’t really blame them. I don’t spare feelings if I don’t feel like it’s needed and so a lot of people tend to get hurt around me. Either that or they smack me, a lot. Hurts like a bitch.

“I don’t really talk to my family that much anymore, but with them I’m even more closed off. They pressure me a lot, especially after Dianna left me. I was twenty one mind you, but I was in love, or at least I like to believe I was. They’ve been pushing me to get back into the dating stream but I don’t know, I kinda like being mellow.

“What else…. We’ll go with love. I’m not the best with it, I’m a douchebag pretty much to be honest. But I guess that’s cause I haven’t really found the right woman. When she comes along I suppose I’d be shy but a lot more sweet. I don’t like people to know when I’m helping them so I’d probably help her inconspicuously *laughs* Yeah, that’s about it."

hmm, you sure as hell are not afraid to point out your flaws, are you? that could either mean you are smart and know not to piss me off by not answering my questions or you’re just plain dumb and don't even know that i am watching your every move. kidding, again. did you catch it this time? was it funny?
"No. *stares blankly*”

that was good! that was really good. i am starting to like you. but let's say i had never seen you before and needed to pick you out in the staff room; how would i recognize you?
"You wouldn’t since I don’t plan on working here. *looks at his watch before sighing* I’m 6’ft, weigh in at about 170Ibs and …jesus. *runs his fingers through his hair* I’ve got light brown hair, I don’t use a good shaver so I usually have a bit of scruff going on. My eyes are green, my mom’s favourite part of me *eyeroll* Uhm, I’m fair skinned I guess and I got a shit load of freckles. Stupid little fuckers. Oops. Friggers. Sorry. *shrugs* Anyways yeah, that’s about it. Clothing? I own half the companies in this town sweetheart, I dress in tailored and designer wear although you wouldn’t know it. I don’t like to flaunt my wealth.”

well, i can tell looks are not your strong point. but what is?
"You’re aching for a punch in the bloody jaw aren’t you? Writing, singing, guitar, dealing with jackass’, being a jackass… uhm, rock climbing, skiing, sports in general. Don’t really know, I’m pretty smart so I’m good with intelligent debates, I guess. I’m kind of well rounded."

blimey! you could have fooled me. let me make a note of that. hold on just one second, will you? okay, i am good. continue.
"A good meal, honestly. I’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth so food in general really. Brunettes with blue eyes, a good book, action flicks, geography, my mood swings."

woah. interesting. does your family know about all that? you do have a family, don't you? or maybe you're even married with children? family is such a nice thing.
"Yeah, guess it is. I’ve got an older sister, Sara, and an older brother, Johnathan. My parents are alright, they’re both getting up there in age. Sandy and James Zatterburg. We’re all a mild family really, I guess we could do with spending more time together but my mom can be a bit overbearing so I tending to stay away during holidays. I guess it doesn’t help that they still think there’s hope for me and my ex fiancé, Dianna. My siblings are fine though, we get along well enough. We’re actually close now that I think about it… Sorry, am I boring you, jackass?”

oops. sorry about that, i must have dozed off. i am sure you were great in.. what were we talking about? oh what the heck.. tell me how you got here, and don't say by car. i mean, tell me about your life.
"Well I was born and raised here in Bloomfield Falls, Scotland. I had a fairly decent childhood really and my parents treated me and my siblings pretty well. There isn’t much bad that I can remember, everything was just pretty smooth. I got into my own fair share of teenage trouble but iunno, doesn’t really seem like it was that bad on a broader scale. I met Dianna Lane when I was seventeen and we fell pretty bad for each other. She even came with me when I moved to the city for University. I proposed and we were planning to marry until I found out she was sleeping with my business professor. Hope they’re happy together, I’m sure his wife enjoys her presence around their six kids.

“So I graduated, was a bit of a dick and started up a software program. It got pretty big and sold for a couple million and so I made another. And then a few more. Started up my own security business, and then did a few classes at the local college for lack of something better to do. By the time I was twenty seven I traveled a little bit around the world, but something brought me back here to Bloomfield. I started writing and publishing my work when I was twenty seven still and with the alias of ‘Dean Winchester,’ I made a bit of a name for myself in the romance novel industry. Of course no one realizes who I am, which is good. I don’t think I could stand the limelight.

“I haven’t dated since Dianna and I split but there is this one girl… anyways. I’m twenty nine, coasting along in a huge estate at the edge of Bloomfield Falls and I’m known as either the resident dick or that geek who doesn’t know what to do with himself. Doesn’t matter, I’m the one that laughs my way to the bank each month."

ever considered writing a book? i think it would sell. we should talk about it some time later. anyway, yep, i think you'd fit in just fine. but where exactly do you think you'd belong?
"Write a book? *laughs out loud, hand slapping his knee* That’s good! I’ll keep that in mind *chortles* I’m local and I do the odd thing here and there. That’s all you need to know, bud."

once your background check is completed and i set you free what will you do? anything you are looking forward to?
"Strip club’s looking kinda nice."

okay.. uhm.. maybe i made a mistake by hiring you, after all?
"Uhm, fuck you? *snorts*"

don't get so wound up, i was kidding. anyway, as fun as it was to talk to you and all that .. uhm.. i have places to go and people to see. we'll meet again, eh? i'll have my eyes on you.
"*eyebrow arch* Yeah. Nice meeting you too. Lay off the hash brownies, bub. *salutes and walks out, shaking his head and muttering* freak."

---

Meet
"kayla"
she's been plotting for "seventeen [years]"
and gee doesn't ( tobias zatterburg ) look like "( Jensen Ackles )"
she's also the puppet master of "Kayla Armstrong and Devin Davison"
but you can all me
";head s t r o n g"

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