Seven Deadly Sins Of Writing, What NOT to do...

[Harry Lime]

Since writing tutorials were welcomed, I thought I might post a fun little "tutorial' that I like to consider the seven things you should NEVER do as a writer.

1) Ignore punctuation. True, some classics are being translated into Netspeak, but nothing says "I don't give two shakes' about what I'm writing than lazy short-cuts like "u" and "2" and the like. Take a little pride in your craft, and make it look good. It may never grace the pages of Harper's, but at least stand by it enough to make it look good.

2) Abuse or ignore description. Description is like chili powder. Too little makes a terribly bland dish, and too much makes you run for the nearest water fountain to rinse the horrible taste from your mouth. The right mix can make a masterpiece. Some of this is stylistic, but consider this a good rule of thumb: Readers might want to know the color of a main character's hair. They don't want to know the exact placement of all tattoos and scars.

3) Not paying attention to names. Unless you're Ian Fleming, don't go with cutesy names. I know this is an ironic comment, in a fandom where we have characters named Sparkplug, Spike, Buster, Kicker, Rad, etc., but having a "clever" name like Urassis Dragon is like a stop light for a reader. And having a Mick and a Mike and a Mack is going to confuse people.

4) Ignoring continuity. I've read stories where dead characters appear alive again a few chapters later. Most continuity errors aren't THAT severe, but your story can die a slow and agonizing death if people realize a conflict of some sort. It might make an interesting story to introduce a boy raised by tigers, say, but don't make it out to be spectacular if a whole family of tiger-reared humans showed up earlier.

5) Picking a bad title. Titles are the calling card of a story, and the right one can make someone interested. The two biggest mistakes with titles are using a really simple title, like "The Drive", unless it somehow works real strongly into the story. But the worst is using a familiar phrase that tells the reader in advance what point they're to glean from the story. Call a story "As The Twig Is Bent" or "A Stitch in Time" tends to give away the story... unless you can make it a real clever twist on the phrase.

6) Bastardize the characters. I'm all for changing things, taking characters in new directions, and exploring potential. But if Optimus Prime walks into a room and shoots the President without any good reason, and you never explain it, chances are you'll tick someone off. Remember, no matter how good your plot, your characters drive it. If you ruin the characters, you'll throw the reader off course.

7) Not knowing when to break the rules. As they say, genius ignores all rules. If you can make something by ignoring anything listed above, then go for it. I'm hard pressed to think how ignoring punctuation or not working with description could really make a story better, but I'm sure there are people with the talent to pull it off.

[Mommimus Prime]

I have to agree wholeheartedly with the grammar and punctuation rule, though you really didn't mention grammar. If you are shakey on those things there are tons of good books that are simple to use and very helpful. Buy one or search the net for grammar and punctuation tutorials. And then use them. (I'm a genius, that's why I broke the rule about starting a sentence with a conjunction. )

[Harry Lime]

Part of the problem is, there's not a whole lot that can be funny about grammar, at least not real easily, and I was really going after the cheap humor. =p But yeah, bad grammar is really grating. I'm not super picky about things, as I don't know all the rules, but things like tense changes, subject/verb agreement... blatant errors like that, especially when they're frequent, drive me nuts. I used to be in crit groups in college where we wanted feedback on our stories, and we were wasting time on things like basic grammar. As a result, it's an almost instant click on the back button from me.

(I say this now, and watch... I'll make a BUNCH of mistakes in a post somewhere.)

[Rurudyne]

I've learned a few things about writing through the years, most of which can be summed up with my pithy saying: "The last edit you do is one edit too few."

Yet, I've also learned that there comes a time when you spend so much effort editing that little writing gets done. Case in point, most of 2005 for yours truly.

Also, that time is your ally when it comes to editing. If you read something every day you may get used to seeing it the way you think it is, not the way it actually is. But a few weeks later you may see many errors not seen before simply because ... well, your delusions and illusions have moved on to occupy your most recent efforts.

So for editing I would suggest a three phase approach. Casually edit as you write. A few weeks later, reread the material again (preferably outloud – written text need not be as fluid as the spoken word, but if a text vocalizes like it were a Microsoft users manuel you've got problems). Finally, even later (if not the last moment) jumble the pages and look at bits and pieces out of context.

Finally, the benefit of learning to edit yourself is that you learn about the sorts of mistakes you're prone to make. Sorta streamlines later efforts and helps you to catch things upfront.

[Harry Lime]

I usually tend to work on global issues first(things like putting two Sundays in a week), then try and improve the verbs I use in the next revision, as well as looking where I need more description, try to improve things like that. Then I do the final edit where I look at the little things that make you look like an utter fool if they reach an editor's desk. As a result, I tend to know the writing by heart and, at times, have been known to hallucinate and think I'm one of the characters from the writing.

When you write about criminals in part, this is a very bad idea. The questions people ask gentleman jewel thieves are more disturbing than the ones they ask writers.

[zero]

I just jotted this up for my own lj and for another board that I RP on...I think it covers things pretty well:

How to write so that everyone can understand what you want to say-- without having to translate.

1) Keep the same tense through the entire post. If you start out in present tense, stay in present tense. Example: Jazz runs into the room and grabs the grenade launcher from the shelf.
What not to do: Jazz runs into the room and grabbed the grenade launcher from the shelf.

2) Spell check, grammar check and proof read your work before posting. It sounds time-consuming, but before you post, open up a Word type program (Microsoft Word, Open Office Writer and NeoOffice are examples) and run your post through grammar check. It probably won't pick up things like there and their, but it will help your post from looking like gobbigoop.

3) Unless you are writing actual dialog, never ever (ever) type like you speak. Contractions are fine, but if you are writing a formal piece like a story or a post on a forum (even if it's a Role Play forum) read your posts over after you type them and ask yourself if someone from across the country would understand what you just wrote. If you're not sure, go get a book and compare what you just wrote to any random paragraph in that book. If your paragraph looks nothing like the one in the book, go re-write your paragraph.

4) Most importantly, don't think you don't need to check these three things. If you think you don't need to, that's the largest indicator that you do. People will get bothered and stop responding to your posts, or you might get some pretty heavy criticism if you write stories, if you don't check yourself constantly. Even the most professional and top of the line writer uses spell and grammar check. Or they have someone do it for them, if they're important enough.

[Miki]

And a word about content.

Two lines do not an RP post make.