I saw the look in Alex's eyes and I heard the hurt in his voice as I stood there and listened to him ask me the question I knew he was going to ask me.
"Why did you leave?"
I took a deep breath before answering him. The moment that I dreaded all this time had finally come. It was time for me to stop running and talk to him. I took another deep breath then began to talk.
"I need you to understand that I never meant to hurt you the way I did. I did love you and I still do and leaving was the hardest thing I ever did. I will always regret that I hurt you when I left"
I felt my eyes water as I thought back to the day I left and why. I sniffled and wiped my eyes, hoping that Alex didn't see me cry.
"This isn't easy for me to say. A little over a year after our relationship progressed I was pregnant. I was afraid and decided not to tell anyone about it. I was palnning on telling you but then something bad happened before I could."
The look on Alex's face told me that he was waiting for me to continue. So, I did.
"During my second month, I had an accident. I fell while getting out of the tub. I landed hard but didn't feel any pain. After I checked myself I figured no damage was done so I went to sleep. I woke up in the middle night in massive pain."
I couldn't help the tears hat came out of my eyes. I wiped them away furiously and took a nother breath before continuing to talk.
"I turned the lights on and pulled back the sheets and saw the blood. In an instant I new what happened. I cried, cleaned myself up, changed the sheets and went back to sleep, deciding to wait until morning to go to the doctor. Instead of going to school the next morning I went to the clinic to get checked out. My fears were confirmed. I had a miscarriage. I was devastated and heartbroken. I suffered the loss of our baby because I never said anything to you or anyone else."
I started crying again. I could see the pain in Alex's eyes and it broke my heart. Calming down, I continued talking.
"Unable to handle the pain of losing our baby, I decided to leave. I left because I couldn't bring myself to tell you that I had a miscarriage. I thought that once you knew you would blame me and hate me. I ran away because I already lost our baby and I didn't wanna lose you too"
I looked at Alex and saw that he was in tears. I knew what I just told him was a lot for him to process. I only hope that he won't hate me in the end.
I turned away from him. The door to Kelly's opened and Ava, Michael and Zari walked out. They came over to us. I heard Ava ask Alex if wou;d mind babysitting Zari for a little while so she could talk to Michael.
"I can take her to my brother's house," Ava said
"No, it's okay. Isn't it Starr?" Alex replied.
I nodded in response. I didn't mind watching Zari for a little bit.