Posted: Jun 3 2014, 10:19 PM
Member No.: 53
Joined: 3-June 14
More Than My Anger
Everyone already knows Carnistir is the quickest to anger and most harsh of his brothers. That’s old news. Important news, yes, but there’s so much more than just that facet of the complicated gem that is Fëanáro's fourth son.
Music — mainly his brother’s singing but in general music tends to calm his anger. Moryo will occasionally sing to himself, by himself, and he enjoys it but he’d probably die of embarrassment if anyone heard him. His voice isn’t unpleasant, but it’s not Maglor’s by any means.
Needlework — Don’t tell anyone. He finds it soothing and enjoys making detailed works.
Quiet — Music has to be playing. Or he has to be talking. Or some sound has to be made in some way. Moryo just hates silence. It bothers him greatly for whatever reason.
Killing — Clarification, he dislikes killing elves. Orcs and the like? He loves it as much as a Hobbit loves second breakfast. Maybe even more. However, when it comes to killing anything else, it bothers him more than might be expected. Angry, harsh, yes to both, but he takes no pleasure in taking a life of those not aligned with Morgoth. It's not his fault it tends to happen. A lot.
‘Business’ — Not about to put diplomacy here for obvious reasons, but Moryo’s not half bad at working out profitable deals for both interested parties. He’s got a mind for trade, enjoys it even, and an unusual love for manipulating economic currents.
Honesty — Although the product of a negative trait (ie: no filter/control), Carnistir doesn’t lie. If Moryo says something he doesn’t mean, it’s a result of not having thought it through rather than a purposeful deception. However, for the most part, he means what he says and he says what he feels for better or worse (usually worse).
Warrior — He is incredibly talented at killing, even if he doesn't always necessarily enjoy it. Although usually in a state of rage (things/people trying to kill him tends to make him angry) therefore not the most technical fighter, his ability is undeniable even in such a state.
Anger — oh yes. He’s not good at controlling this at all. Once he’s set off, Moryo’ll rage on for an eternity. It makes him do and say stupid things. Here's the thing. Caranthir doesn't really like being angry. It's not something he's proud of or views as being an admirable trait. It's just not something he can control.
Family — either in terms of setting him off in a rage to push his buttons or in terms of the ridiculous lengths he’ll go to defend them. For his family, he’d risk everything despite his complicated feelings.
Lying — He really can’t lie. Ever. Moryo’s honest to a fault, not for moral reasons, but rather because he can’t keep his mouth shut. He has no filter and speaks without thinking.
Harsh — He's the guy that'll suggest maybe you should change your outfit because it's not doing you any favors. Or that he finds your voice akin to the screaming of seagulls. Or that you'll never get the girl/boy you're chasing because you've the face of a mule and personality of a toad. In hindsight, sometimes he realizes the error of his ways but for the most part, he's already moved on from the comment and can't understand why it's upsetting. If it's true, why not say it? Of course, his truth might be different from the actual truth but that doesn't really matter to him.
Fulfilling the Oath - He just wants the damnable curse over with already so they can move on with their lives.
Being Happy - He’s always been slightly unhappy or incredibly unhappy, even during childhood. There’s just never been a blissfully happy period in his life. Something’s always bothered him. He desperately wants to find some sort of peace in life. He just doesn’t know how to tame his anger.
Fears: Abandonment — He doesn’t have a paired brother like his other siblings (don’t get him started on how Celegorm skipped over him for Curufin). Moryo has always felt like the odd one out (contributing to that whole ‘never being truly happy’ thing) and the resulting insecurities have plagued him heavily. Carnistir worries that his other brothers will forget him or not mourn him should he die.
Death — Seems real unpleasant. Has no interest in it or wallowing about in Mandos’ Halls.
His anger comes from his passionate nature. Caranthir is incredibly emotional. He can’t contain himself whether it be excitement over something or anger over something. Most people see the anger, but that’s not the only thing he’s capable of in terms of emotion. When excited, he’s incredibly exuberant, off the walls even. His range of emotion is broad, and he is as quick to excitement as he is to anger. He hates deeply. He loves deeply. He does nothing, feels nothing only partially. Everything he feels, he feels intensely which then results in generally extreme actions or words. It is all or nothing with him.
Words have never been his strong suit. In truth, he was genuinely shocked to find that he could speak somewhat eloquently on the matter of trade. Even that is a struggle, however. He prefers showing over telling, as much trouble as that gets him into on the occasion.
Sometimes, he feels as if his parents were running out of names by the time they got to him. “Ai, he’s dark. Let’s go with that for a name.” “Oh dear, his face is so red. That’ll work.” Accurate, but come now..a little more creativity would have been appreciated.
All that aside, he does have a darker ‘look' than his brothers, but aren’t most Noldor a little dark in appearance? It’s not as if he isn’t incredibly tan or anything. Perhaps his father meant his incredibly full eyebrows that sit above incredibly dark and expressive eyes. They are quite pretty his eyes, showing his anger, his joy and everything in between with little veiling.
The red face assessment is far. For whatever reason, his face usually has some sort of red tint to it. And those freckles. He does have a ruddy complexion, oft highlighted by the bright blush of rage or embarrassment. It is his most prominent feature, but certainly not his favorite. If asked, he'd say his best feature is his hair. Styling his hair and needlework are the two detailed activities that don't end in frustrated meltdowns.
At 6’3”, he cuts quite a tall figure. Nothing outrageous among his own people, but still someone who can loom over others when desired. His shoulders and chest are unusually broad for the Eldar, but it suits him fine. Moryo wouldn’t want to be ever considered dainty. The horror. He looks more the sort to flip banquet tables and tackle bears (both of which he’s done, long stories each of them) then go agilely surfing on tree branches.
In terms of clothing, he always dresses sharply. Moryo may not be the ‘Fair’ one of the ‘Comely’ one, but that doesn’t mean he can’t look good. Plus, he just likes having nice things, even if he breaks them sometimes.
Born in the Year of the Trees, when their light still shone and peace was still real, Carnistir knew little trouble beyond what he made for himself. Fourth but not the last, he had endless options for playmates between his brothers and the other young elves. Although jealous that his brothers had their ‘pairs,’ Caranthir still always followed along in their childhood adventures and loved them unconditionally.
Perpetually striving to find his talent, something he was truly gifted at, Caranthir could never quite find a true skill to call his own. Well, that was except for needlepoint and weaving. He was exceptionally skilled in that area, but did he ever dare show anyone beyond his mother? Absolutely not. Perhaps it was silly of him to be ashamed, but he was young and foolish. Besides, what would their father think?
Caranthir never felt at ease in the forge. One, his lack of sheer talent was apparently, and two, he could not handle his father’s disappointment. Whether or not Feanor was actually disappointed in his son hardly matters. What matters was Caranthir’s perception and his perception was that of perpetual disappointment. Nothing he did ever seemed to elicit any inkling of pride or approval. It was devastating.
His mother was his saving grace. He loved her above all else. In part, because she alone could soothe the worst of his rages. Even as an infant, he was prone to the most terrible of tantrums. There was just too much emotion in his little body to be contained. Unfortunately, it never got easier for him to control himself. However, he did somewhat grow into his fiery personality.
The move from Tirion to Formenos bothered him little. He had his family, and who was he to judge his father for a rash act? Besides, Moryo didn’t care much for his father’s brothers or their children. Fingolfin probably deserved being threatened. Moryo knew next to nothing of the dangerous undercurrents beginning to pull his family to the point of no return. He should have paid more attention. He should have given thought to the threat of Melkor. Not that it would have mattered. What could he have done to change the course that was set for them?
He did not think before swearing the Oath. In truth, the whole event is a blur to him, hazed over by the most intense rage he'd ever experienced. His grandfather’s death, the swearing of the Oath, the first Kinslaying…it all just happened so fast. Not once did Carnistir think about what would come from swearing the Oath. As for the Kinslaying at Alqualondë, Moryo had flung himself into it even if the sight of Elvish blood and screams curdled his stomach. The memories still haunt him. If he could take it back, he could. It was a terrible thing.
But the past cannot be undone. And so he moved forward to chase his fate.
Each breath pained him more than the last. However, he’d long since lost feeling in his limbs. As he lay dying in a pool of his own blood, Caranthir contemplated the number of mistakes he and his family had made. There had been so many and all of them worse than the one before.
He had not wanted to sack Doriath. Of course, no one would ever even pause to wonder if the harshest and quickest to anger of the brothers would want to sack a city or not. They’d just assume yes. But he hadn’t, and he hadn’t wanted to die. Especially not like this. However, Caranthir had always followed his brothers wherever they went because he was already the odd one out. He couldn’t be the one who didn’t go along with the family plans.
Caranthir didn’t want to be left behind, it had been his greatest fear. To be left behind, abandoned, forgotten...but now he was dying alone. It was not as bad as he thought it would be and yet there was a heavy sorrow to it all. He’d isolated himself out of his own fear of abandonment. An odd way to cope, but Carnistir was something of an odd bird when it came to being rational. His fear oft caused him to leave before he could be left. As he lay dying, Moryo concluded that it had been a poor choice of behavior. There must have been a better way to handle his insecurities. It didn’t matter now.
What would his mother think? Would she mourn his death or mourn for the monster that he’d become for having committed another Kinslaying? Oh how he missed her. He had loved his mother most in this world and felt ashamed for the pain he must have caused Nerdanel. It was a pain he now knew for certain that was worse than dying.
This was not what he had wanted from life.
But what did he want? Even Carnistir did not know. Happiness, perhaps, but the red-faced Elf did not know how to achieve such a thing. He’d spent his entire life tripping over his own feet in pursuit of the elusive feeling. Without doubt, he’d had happy experiences. There had been much laughter in his youth. It seemed so distance, and it was distant but even he remembered.
What had become of his brothers? Did they live? Did they lay dying as he did now? He wanted to call to them, but his lips would not move. Only a muted gurgle came forth, blood pouring from the corner of his mouth, as he tried cry out for his brothers. Strange, how loud he’d been in life, and how quiet he now was as he died.
It occurred to him that blood had such an unpleasant coppery taste. Odd, that he could still taste even as the world dimmed around him.
As if to cement his reputation in death, Caranthir was dying from violent wounds and those Elves he’d slain that lay around him had done the same. Blood and bodies. This was how his life would end. It’s how he’d spent a good portion of his life. So why not end it as such? There were so many other things he’d rather be remembered for than this violence. Had he not other skills, other passions? He mourned for his life as much as he did his reputation. There would be no great laments for the death of Carnistir. What had he done to deserve one anyway?
And so he thought over his life. Had he done anything to deserve any praise? Would he be remembered as a villain? What could be said of the threads that had woven together the tapestry of his life? Could any changes in plots have been made to bring about a different ending? All these questions whirled about in the muddle that was his frantic mind, grasping at straws and trying to live. In the end, he did not know the answers to any of these questions.
His vision faded completely as the very end drew near. For a few final seconds, he thought he heard Kano humming to him, but that couldn’t be possible. It was only a trick of the mind of a dying killer longing for better days.
And then there was nothing.
Posted: Jun 4 2014, 04:50 PM
Member No.: 14
Joined: 20-March 14
Vote For Us
Affiliate With Us
Our Sister Sites