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Title: Debate: The Pasture


ericlis - November 30, 2009 10:34 PM (GMT)
Candidates:
-Phil Henderson
-Mark Saetre
-Zachary Vance (incumbent senator)

msaetre - December 1, 2009 12:05 AM (GMT)
I would like to start off by thanking all of my running mates for their desire to bring prosperity to our colony. I cannot prove I am any better than the other candidates but will work 27% harder than everone else guaranteed. Armed with a lifetime of experience from my silly disposition, I will do everything to advance our causes, expand our realm, and have showers of prosperity (showers of an equal bounty may be substituted in the future) for all residence no matter the race, color, creed or how you pronounce tomato.



Thank you for this chance in serving the empire.

- Mark Saetre

Loqutor - December 1, 2009 01:13 AM (GMT)
My esteemed opponents are no doubt honorable men, and Mr. Vance is certainly accomplished, but I feel there are many areas that have been neglected. To wit, we as a territory certainly seem to have forgotten our great cultural heritage, and our citizens (by which I mean the cows) are sadly without an identity. If elected, I shall provide grants to support cows who write novels and poetry about the great cow god Moostafa. The common bond is what holds us together, and we must not allow it to be broken. Keeping it intact is, I'm sure you will agree, far more important than diversity.

There are other things we must monitor, such as the smell made by the cows. If elected, I will open talks to Northern Plutopia, whose citizens use methane as a fuel. In these talks, I hope to establish a trade partnership with them which will allow them to take away the smell, which will make things more pleasant for us, as well as make their quality of life quite wonderful. It's a win-win proposition.

I now open the floor to questions from the citizens and my honorable opponents.

Phil Henderson
Alter Ego of His Excellency Phil Osophy
Count of Pittsfield
Defender of Strange Appetites
Unable to Remember His Full Signature

msaetre - December 1, 2009 09:02 AM (GMT)
I agree with the Honorable Mr. Henderson that our cattle are not just an important cultural icon to our way of life but a pillar of the very principals our colony was founded upon. I would like to point out that along with Mr. Henderson, cattle are important to my beliefs and had been included in my previous verbage, being cattle and humans share residency with equanimity. I would also like to see greater educational opportunities for bovines, along with greater diversity with career choices.

I would like to applaud the forward thinking of Mr. Henderson with his energy policy and I also embrace such policy's that will keep this colony moving forward while helping strengthening the empire as a whole. Soon I will post some of my long therm strategic goals for the colony and the empire as a whole.

Thank you for a chance in serving the empire.

- Mark Saetre


mafalda - December 1, 2009 04:48 PM (GMT)
This is WAY too civilized. Or maybe Pasturized.

Citizens of the colony of Earth, Vote for me as Senator! ;)

Mafalda

Matriarch of the Order of the Pepper Vodka
Second Lady Knight of the Elite Order of the Rose
Creator of the Silly-Looking Headwear
Protector of the Autistic Flock
Guardian of the Dust Bunnies
Professor Emeritus of the College of Useless and Trivial Knowledge

"We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem." (Douglas Adams)


Will - December 3, 2009 09:30 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Loqutor @ Dec 1 2009, 01:13 AM)
My esteemed opponents are no doubt honorable men, and Mr. Vance is certainly accomplished, but I feel there are many areas that have been neglected. To wit, we as a territory certainly seem to have forgotten our great cultural heritage, and our citizens (by which I mean the cows) are sadly without an identity. If elected, I shall provide grants to support cows who write novels and poetry about the great cow god Moostafa. The common bond is what holds us together, and we must not allow it to be broken. Keeping it intact is, I'm sure you will agree, far more important than diversity.

There are other things we must monitor, such as the smell made by the cows. If elected, I will open talks to Northern Plutopia, whose citizens use methane as a fuel. In these talks, I hope to establish a trade partnership with them which will allow them to take away the smell, which will make things more pleasant for us, as well as make their quality of life quite wonderful. It's a win-win proposition.

I now open the floor to questions from the citizens and my honorable opponents.

Phil Henderson
Alter Ego of His Excellency Phil Osophy
Count of Pittsfield
Defender of Strange Appetites
Unable to Remember His Full Signature

If elected Senator for Verden, I promise to introduce legislation calling for cows to make the great pilgrimage to the nearest stockyard, where they shall serve their highest use as cheeseburgers, ribs and steaks.

Remember, steak is best when served live, and a vote for me is a vote for me.

msaetre - December 11, 2009 07:00 PM (GMT)
I would like to announce that I have just appointed a chief science officer and financial manager to replace the posts left vacant from this past summer. These two posts and my current war minister will be additional help in me serving this great empire should I be elected.


Thanks again


Mark Saetre

Long live the empire!




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